How do we make Superman appealing to contemporary audiences?

How do we make Superman appealing to contemporary audiences?

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Make him fight a giant spider

I wonder what ulterior motive this thread has

>contemporary audiences
Who cares?

make him have two toasters for arms, so that way he can have fresh toast any time he wants :3

I'd watch it.

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That's a great idea, fuck giant spiders.

Firstly, we stop making stealth gay threads. You have two boards for that. Use them.

>Shirtless Man
>Gay

You might just be in the closet.

>this upsets me
>ok, we will definitely stop

Just channel All-Star Superman and make him unwavering in his belief, or make him Dark Knight Returns Superman. It's better than all the stupid shit that's been happening otherwise.

Add more shirtless scenes

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Now it's been a few days since I've last seen a spider ... but that doesn't look like one.

Not to worry. I'm sure Bendis will take care of it.

sell him to marvel

that is if they even want a shitty boring overpowered mary sue whose only weakness is a green rock

Make him a comic relief idiot character.

Make him Wakandian

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Company wars, duh.

Make him more like the cartoon version.

Case in point:

Also have Brainiac fight polar bears for some reason.