Live in Gotham

>Live in Gotham
>Be on train
>Some fucking weirdo starts talking to you
>Give him advice
If I lived in Gotham I just wouldn't talk to anybody ever. You're literally one wrong word away at any time from creating an insane murderer.

Attached: iu[1].png (552x480, 264K)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/WIIvpPGYjLs
youtube.com/watch?v=JgFaInkaRjI
youtube.com/watch?v=V8NAWrKlsAU
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>live in gotham
>get used as hostage by some costumed maniac at least once a month

>Live in Gotham
>Seasonal affective disorder all year round because it's never fucking daytime
>Don't even understand how this is meteorologically possible. The next city over gets plenty of sunshine. Their superhero is powered by it.
>Maybe he's sucking it all up? Is that how it works?

>live in Gotham
>be chef in a fancy restaurant
>friend who's also a waiter tells me a good joke and we both laugh
>get stabbed by a monocle-wearing hooknose midget

>Live in Gotham
>Have to live in shitty, dirty, small apartment complexes because 90% of the city is covered in abandoned factories.

>live in Metropolis
>Zod uses my apartment complex as a baseball bat to hit Superman with

>live in Gotham
>die in Gotham

Imagine being an insurance company in comics, they would go broke or jave very specific clauses
>sorry you have earthquake and monster insurance but that does not cover acts of aliens
>sorry sire your super villian insurance does not cover acts commuted by the Spectre as he is not a villian

>Live in Central City
>Work at a hot dog stand
>Fight between Flash and Captain Boomerang about to happen
>Both see my wieners and decide to have lunch first
>Captain Boomerang is pissed I'm out of Orange Soder and doesn't leave a tip.

That look from Cobblepot...

Attached: 1519820167398.jpg (880x2812, 596K)

>live in hub city
>immediately leave or kill myself

>back when jason aaron still wrote pretty good capeshit

Has there ever been a higher level of petty ever achieved in comics?

Just follow Iroh's lead

>live in Gotham
>not making small talk to everyone I meet so they toss on a costume and wreak havoc
Behold the Malice Maker, the greatest supervillain the world has never seen!

>Live in the same county as Smallville
>Do fuck all because Kansas is rural as fuck

>live in Alabama
>one supervillain attack in the state per year
>most of them are shot to death within 15 minutes of showing up

He's not wrong...

Attached: XEw0wq9.jpg (4160x2340, 718K)

>live in Keystone City
>I don't even know if I exist right now

Why did he take it on the mayor rather than the kids who threw a ball at him and made him drop his papers?

If you don't want to leave the state you could always go to Smallville

lol

>Would you like to see something... mystical?

youtu.be/WIIvpPGYjLs

It would be funny if none of this happened and his henchmen just told him they did it.

>live in gotham
>only jobs available are henchmen and abandoned warehouse guard
>get the shit kicked out of me by rich police sanctioned vigilantes who act morally superior to you
the city sucks

Attached: Working Class Scum.png (1000x927, 434K)

What did Oswald have against Didio?

>expecting tips at a hot dog stand

Attached: 1518754520488.gif (400x300, 306K)

>Cauldronfags are this delusional

>>live in gotham
Why?

>live in some no-name city that supervillains never bother
>live peacefully while watching the news from a safe distance

Attached: 1514547543261.png (142x121, 16K)

He was only in the park in the first place because of the mayor's suggestion.

>Live in Gotham
>Be on train
>Some fucking weirdo starts talking to himself
>Ignore him
>He kills me for ignoring him

There's no winning.

>Sorry sir your insurance only covers acts of God, not new gods

Yeah right, like you won't be destroyed by some rando villain who takes out an unnamed city to prove how evil he is. You'll appear for just a single panel looking shocked as a flash approaches only this time there won't be a Flash to save you.

Attached: 4220071-evucity.jpg (615x960, 206K)

>live in coast city
>Be away on business for a while
>Come home to find an alien and robot burned it to the ground
>Now our home town hero is an angry angel or something
At least I could always move to star city

I remember someone stealing 40 cakes

It beats Hub City.

IT WAS ME, BARRY!

The real irony here is that there was a 50/50 chance the guy would have offed himself or taken up a life of crime as the Killer Cook who specializes in cutting up his victims into strips, marinated them in finest alcohol, then cooking them up while he chortles the entire time. One of his first targets is The Penguin thinking he can make a quick name for himself taking out a super villain and Penguin is for some reason the first one that pops into his mind. Maybe because he'd seen him that one time at a restaurant when his friend told him a funny joke. That was a good night, before his life turned into hell but if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen.

Hey Kyle, any leftovers in the fridge?

Are you friends with the Kents?

Oh sure, we're neighbors! We don't meet much, though, because they're on the other side of the state.

How salty is their son, the awkward guy who works with Lois Lane? He's gotta be mad as fuck the girl he's into is practically Superman's girlfriend.

>neighbors!
>Same county not same town
Something isn't adding up here, could you be the RIDDLER?

Kansas is vast and lonely, son.

So very very lonely.

Pretty damn salty. Man I watched Pa Kent run off to save this dog and I was so distracted watching him sieg heil his son when the twister rolled over him that I accidentally rolled my car over their dog.

Attached: 4559215-jonathan+kent's+death+2013.jpg (586x268, 16K)

>can move so fast he can perceive the flash running and keep up
>still can't move fast enough to save a goddamn person from the bomb explosion and just stands in the flames still wondering why his super sense of smell detected a jar of piss in front of that chick
>like seriously, a jar of fucking piss, i mean what the fuck was that even all about?
>OH SHIT EVERYONE IS ON FIRE AND ALSO DEAD
>COME ON WHEN THE FUCK DID THIS FUCKING HAPPEN!?
youtube.com/watch?v=JgFaInkaRjI

Sometimes people in wheelchairs have to use tubes and reservoirs because they can't control when they go.

Stop, invincible son who can move fast enough to avoid recognition. Don't run 30 feet in ½ a second and rescue me. By letting me die, you're actually helping people live, or something. No, I don't know either.

Yes i'm still salty as fuck

That was so kind of that lady to collect his pee for him. Man I hope she doesn't die in some kind of fiery explosion.

Maybe he hadn't learned how to move that fast yet? Sounds lame but I suppose it's possible. He didn't get flying his first time either.

>Live in Gotham

This was your first mistake.

Oh God, I want this to be canon that Clark sucks so much sunlight in Metropolis that Gotham gets hardly any. Just so it fucks with Bruce and Batfans in general. Please maybe the combined efforts of Bendis, Tom King and Morrison can make this canon happen.

And if you squat in said factories you'll either get killed by a supervillain ala Joker for a hideout or you'll stumble across an experimental weapon and become a metahuman monster. There's no happy endings in Gotham.

Why do the cities keep changing places is brainiac fucking with earth again?

He and Doctor Manhattan are in a severely passive aggressive pissing contest over where to place them.

Why would people even live there? Gotham is the worst

>Hey, Anonette, do you remember me? Yeah, I think we meet once on the bank robbery back on march, you know, with two faces and shit.
>Oh, no, don't worry, Mr Freeze isn't that bad, it could be worse.
>There it goes, just in time. See ya next robbery

Same reason people live in shitty places in real life
It's not very easy to pack up your entire life and move somewhere else

>If I lived in Gotham I just wouldn't talk to anybody ever. You're literally one wrong word away at any time from creating an insane murderer.

WHAT? YOU THINK YOU'RE TOO GOOD TA TALK TO ME?

Attached: Killer Croc BTAS.jpg (400x277, 30K)

Yeah, I mean, sure, Metropolis is across the bay and almost infinitely nicer but have you seen the rent prices there?

Gotham is at least affordable; especially since they've started turning abandoned factories into low-rent housing.

Really, the only way to survive in Gotham is to become a supervillain before other supervillains get to you.

>If I lived in Gotham I just wouldn't talk to anybody ever. You're literally one wrong word away at any time from creating an insane murderer.
One day I tried to start a friendly chat with a fellow Gothamite on the subway, but he responded with silence. From that day on, I vowed to bring the silence that man showed me to all of Gotham. Call me, Hush.

I bet there's a special directory produced in Gotham City. Like a phonebook but it lists all legally (yeah) registered villain names so nobody accidentally copies anyone else.

>live in Gotham
>get raped by the police commissioner

Why is no one doing anything about this man?

>like seriously, a jar of fucking piss, i mean what the fuck was that even all about?
to this day i still dont know the meaning behind grannies peach tea

Attached: 8574957493.png (464x631, 467K)

Okay , that has to happen at some point. Wasn't there Prometheus copycat and the real one was pissed about it?

>implying the entire police/law department isn’t in on it

But if there's a law against impersonating supervillains, then there will be a supervillain whose only crime is stealing other villain's identities and their tax returns.

People still live in Chicago, which is basically Gotham without the dudes in tights running around.

What about Chinese knock-off villains with such distinct names like Jester and Jokeman?

>tax returns
Villains don't do taxes because what is the IRS gonna do send batman after them and force them to fill out a form

>Live in Gotham City.
>Cobblepot is the asshole most "triggered" retards wish they were.
>CJWs start butchering people for offending them.
>The USA turns into a Fascist dictatorship in a couple decades after the CJWs seize power.
God help us all... That is the most insanely petty action I have ever read.

Attached: Mega Man reads from the Necronomicon.jpg (785x1000, 434K)

I didn't think it was about impersonating, it's about avoiding confusion.

He's not called Jim "The Rim" Gordon for nothing.

Attached: Chibi Schierke.png (249x250, 76K)

Honk Honk

But think of all the money just sitting there waiting for them. They can write off henchmen and materials for death traps as business expenses. Plus medical bills for Batman's brand of vigilante justice. The government has to owe them something.

But they'd also have to tax the loot that they got

>Live in big name city on West Coast
>Nothing fucking happens ever
>No heroes, villains, nothing
>Despite the fact we're a major trading hub
>My face

I mean, I'm glad I'm not getting kidnapped every other day but just because I don't live in Central, Gotham or Metropolis we don't get anything?

What the fuck

Attached: 1520126752753.png (500x658, 234K)

>live in same county as Smallville
>after a win against the Crows there's a cross town bonfire out in the sticks
>on account of my boyish charm, good sportmanship, and four touchdowns, I end up alone with Kara Kent in the back of my truck
>can't fucking believe how lucky I am
>this girl is inhumanly beautiful
>today is the best day of my horny teenage life
>start wondering about how much wedding rings cost
>we start making out, but as I go to take her top off, I get distracted by a flash of red light
>all of a sudden the whole place is caught up in a huge grassfire
>the bonfire must have gotten out of control!
>Kara is already pouting at the interruption, and that makes me even harder, but I've got to go help stop the grass fire before it gets to the field!
>thankfully the fire department and the sheriff make it out in time to help me and the boys stop the fire
>sheriff says if he catches us drinking again he'll have to tell our folks
>third time he's told us that this year
>turns out some other locals came out with the fire crew, including Kara's cousin Clark
>didn't even know he was back visiting from the big city
>shame he missed the game
>I really respect that guy, he's an old school journalist who hasn't forgotten his roots
>was one hell of a quarterback for the Crows back in the day too
>doesn't stop me from being mad as he takes Kara home
>she's been pouting the whole time, she must really want it!
>I've been trying to call her since then, but Mr. Kent just keeps saying she's out
>thinking of going up to Smallville with the boys this weekend to hangout >hopefully Kara will be around

>not working for Wayne Enterprises
They're hiring, dude! They've got all sort of positions open! Even their janitors get full benefits and a MONTH of paid vacation a year! You should apply!

Yesss

As a native Kansan, you really captured that feeling, though I will say grass fires are a lot more smokey than you'd expect, heck last year I remember there being a massive fire like and it caused a town like 20 miles away from where I live to evacuate and I could smell the ashy smoke from home, also the wind gets crazy full with little particles that are irritating as fuck. Luckily that was a rare uncontrolled fire, controlled land burns are much safer. But yeah Nice post it made me think about my small home town.

He let himself die because Clark was in a position where everyone would've known he had superpowers. They were in the middle of a busy highway during rush hour in the only safe place during a massive storm. Everyone would've known, you dumb nigger.

Do you really think their eyes were on Clark or were they on the giant goddamn twister? If Clark had used his super speed to grab his dad and deposit him to safety do you think the Kansas folk, no offense to the user above, would have put two and two together about his disappearing or would they praise the lord jesus on high because this'n here was a miracle!

Considering how Clark was literally in front of them, I think anyone suddenly running at the speed of sound and rescuing someone from a massive tornado that was also right in front of them, yeah.

> If Clark had used his super speed to grab his dad and deposit him to safety do you think the Kansas folk, no offense to the user above, would have put two and two together about his disappearing

Kind of, yeah. Especially considering the situation they were in.

>no offense to the user above
None taken you are correct, we'd focus on the tornado and call it an honest to god miracle that everyone survived. Shit just say god did it (but not like directly did it) and the Kents would be loved even more

Have you seen the DC movies? Oh sure Supes was always super fast but even Wonder Woman can speedster through an entire german military unit in the blink of an eye. Clark could just gnab his dad, drop him off two counties over, and be back in the exact spot he left before anyone in the crowd even realized he was gone thanks to focusing on the twister.

I won't evne be surprised if suddenly Batman has super speed at this point.

>I won't evne be surprised if suddenly Batman has super speed at this point.
I mean he already had it as the Red Death though that wasn't the regular batman

"I can move super fast now thanks to studying baaaaats! They're my inspiration!"
"Bruce, bats aren't-"
"BATFORCE AIN'T GOTTA EXPLAIN SHIT!"

Having super speed does not mean instantaneous. He is fast, but not that fast. Not to mention in the movies whenever he moves in the blink of an eye is when he's flying,.

I appreciate this post.

At the speeds he can move? It pretty much does. And he'd just come back from the damn grave not ten minutes earlier. Not too shabby.
youtube.com/watch?v=V8NAWrKlsAU

I can't believe people like this maximum edge shit

>which is basically Gotham without the dudes in tights running around.
Actually...

I've never actually seen this scene in HD until now. Everything looks like a video game cutscene

Cyborg is just so many kinds of ridiculous. Fortunately they have that "still evolving" bit to his alien cybernetics so he can change looks as easily as Iron Man getting a new suit. God damn does he need a heavy redesign, too.

That bit where he pulls Wonder Woman by her own lasso looks so damn flat, too.

>Clark cockblocking Kara
CUTE!