Talking to army recruiter tomorrow

what should I expect? 25 with a liberal arts degree

the army loves faggots now
so you just need to point that out from the start

If you join the service and have a wife/gf, expect to be cheated on.

I don't think there are any baristas jobs in the army

Armyfag here.. ama

This. Only do it if you're single, and if you have a gf break up with her. If you're married just don't do it, women can't be faithful through a period of absence that long.

95% true

How many times did you get cheated on?

...

Graduated cc with an associates in comp sci (useless).

21 y/o
Heart condition.

Been waiting a whole fucking year sitting on my ass for MEPS to waive me.
>"We're not ready to do that just yet."

Should I give up?

>liberal arts degree
Expect to die cuck

do you actually believed any word from that OP ?

are women bad in the army or is it pretty much a meme ?

What is the heart condition? If its been a year its probably not going to happen. The army is down sizing, and getting in is getting harder and harder to do.

Don't give him flack for his toilet paper degree. The war machine is lubricanted with blood, blood requires sacrifice and I can't think of better sacrifice. Die well, brother. You will be remembered for your sacrifice and your error will be forgotten.

the degree will help a lot it'll at least get you automatically to specialist and they'll probably push you for OCS. Why join now though? It's a terrible time to join because Obama completely fucked the military and with a new republican president you can expect sign on bonuses to come back if you wait a couple years.

Why do you pick the shittiest branch?

Mitral valve prolapse.

>what should I expect?

To be fucked.

>1 week after shipping
"Oh, fuck, what have I done."

>3 months
"Fuck my life."

>6 months
"I'm so hardcore. This was a good decision"

>1 year
"Holy fuck, this unit sucks balls."

>2 years
"I should call the suicide hotline."

>3 years
"This was a bad decision."

>4 years
"For the love of Jesus, let me ETS."

>1 week after ETS
"Thank fucking God that it's over."

>3 months after ETS
"Life is good, I guess."

>6 months
"I'll land a job one of these days for sure."

>1 year
"God damn. They weren't lying about that veteran unemployment shit. I'll just crack that GI Bill and go back to school. Wait...I already have a degree. Fuck my life."

>2 years
"I'm right back where I started, but with more injuries, more of a temper, far less patience, and a burning hole in my soul."

>3 years
"Life is a joke. Let me die."

And so on.

Women in the army are a joke. They are always over compensating. The ones with rank over exert it. Im a medic stationed in a hospital currently and the nurses are a fucking joke. They get officer rank and think they are soke commansing officer. Fuck women in the army

You're going to die in Iran

This, it's fucking guarnteed she'll cheat

Sorry bro

>"I'm right back where I started, but with more injuries, more of a temper, far less patience, and a burning hole in my soul."

Jokes on you, this is me 4 years into my relationship

/thread

Though i cant talk shit cuz im probably a lifer

Be a man. Go next door and talk to the Marines.

What's life like in the australian army? 25 year old carpenter considering getting a new job

jesus fucking Christ I hope to god thats fake

Says the coast guard

also an Army fag airborne 12B

chicks are for fags

how does it work once you sign up, testing etc.

thanks ausfailia

i tested a 128 IQ when i was ten, does that make me eligible for anything beyond cannon fodder

you go to meps twice they give you the asvab do physicals and blood work, you pick a job and a contract and theyll give you a shipdate

>stay in and get your asshole reamed every day by retarded fuckheads and circumstances

>get out and deal with discrimination and the existential dread of purposeless freedom

They never mention this shit in the brochure.

its based off asvab scores, i scored high enough for every job in the military when i took the test to get out of class for a bit

can i fast track to something higher paid? would i have to take steroids and pain meds to keep up with special ops fags?

I was in the Coast Guard.

DESU OP if you actually have noble ambitions and want to serve the American people instead of engaging in illegitimate wars over oil fields, the USCG is the place to be.

Only downside is it's tough to get in now I hear.

Fun fact, the USCG has fewer personnel than the NYPD.

wheres that gif from?

i just wanna do good. what should i expect getting in, starting, etc.

depending on what experience and degrees you have going in you can start out as a PFC or specialist and earn more pay, they do random piss tests, just workout in your free time and youll be fine

Join a militia you stupid cunts. There are plenty around in need of able bodied men. Or start a fucking drug cartel. Do something before the suicide gets you.

I'm confused maybe you just suck at life. I was able to live the dream as for years NEET from deployment riches and when that finally dried up it took me literally a hour to find a job. Employers bend over backwards to hire veterans because it falls into the same affirmative action diversity quota bullshit as blacks and women.

It's from video where NZer kid punches a girl that starts shit with him.

I don't know about being an officer, I doubt you'd be able to get in as an officer with a shit liberal arts degree.

Enlisted?
>Join
>Ship out
>8 weeks of surprisingly intense boot camp (it's modeled after the USMC but fortunately shorter)
>Since you have a college degree you'll be an E3 on graduation.
>Report to first unit, do stuff, get qualifications, wait a few months
>Attend A school and become an E4
>Go to next unit, work hard.

Daily reminder the USCG has 11 statutory missions: marine safety (what I did), search and rescue, aids to navigation, fisheries, environmental protection, and ice operations.

>Employers bend over backwards to hire veterans

Every lie is a wish.

?

cool story bro

pay OK ? hate your life?

what shitty part of the country to live in and how lazy are you that you can't find a job? Everyday on the radio I hear ads for places trying to hire and that "blacks, women, and women should apply immediately".

If you have a degree become an officer

Cant you use the GI Bill for a master's or a PhD if you already had a Bachelor's degree when you went in to the military?

You can find the original video on youtube.

The pay is the same as any other armed service, just look it up.

No I never hated my life.

>he never grew out of the know-it-all E-3 mindset

What's your job, bro?

I'll apply to your company.

word well the USCG office is basically next door and these army fags are contradicting each other so i might check it out after, thanks for the info.

>Cant you use the GI Bill for a master's or a PhD if you already had a Bachelor's degree when you went in to the military?

You can use it for almost anything as long as you satisfy the service requirements.

Just make sure you sign up to be an MST and you'll be set m8.

Nope bad idea. Also most are taller and not very muscular. Most of the stuff is endurance based so no pinning test is not much of a help. Being able to deal with low amounts of sleep helps a ton. You'll also have roids for that but you shouldn't need it. Besides that sometimes testing does happen ( but mainly to find stuff like marihuana ).

Everyone else will be a 18 year old shithead. Have fun.

That would be the Marines.

Forgot the part about hardcore alcoholism.

Drinking is an implied task, battle.

You're gonna spend 8 hours cleaning the same fucking mirror/toilet after boot everyday for several days at a time.

Become a helicopter pilot

>only need 20/50 vision, lasik accepted
>no flight experience required
>Nobody ever applies for it because recruiters tell them it's too competitive a program to get in
>last selection board literally only 15 people applied in the entire country, they all got in
>paid to fly around in a badass apache helicopter

what's the better one

Airforce.

i aced the asvab and the navy dude tried to throw me in the nuke program, it was a good self esteem thing desu. doing well on a standardized test and being told i was important made me stop being a drunk fuckass working in a grocery store, i'm going for an accounting postgrad

do not join the service if you do not want to