Alaska should secede from the Union

I'm sick and tired of being a part of the United States. In the spirit of the Declaration of Independence, allow me to lay down a list of grievances.

The United States of America has or currently:
>drained Alaska of its oil, and obviously views it as little more than a big fossil fuel reserve
>used us as little more than a meat shield during the Cold War by installation of their military bases and missile silos
>sends us thousands of rich dentists who buy up all the good property to turn it into little more than private hunting reserves for whenever they feel like visiting
>sends us thousands of tourists in the summer who flood our towns and make fun of us, calling us yokels and rednecks
>given us little back in terms of federal aid, at least in the form of useful things like BUILDING SOME FUCKING ROADS
>owns 60% OF OUR LAND, with the state owning most of the rest, leaving us with little useful land for private ownership in anywhere that's even remotely located near civilization
>stole our gold

Fuck the South. If Alaska were to secede, WE would be in control of our oil. WE would control our gold and if our money was on the gold standard, it would be a strong currency. WE would control our own property and timber. Despite having little need for a military, we could certainly field a small but professional force supplemented by a state-wide militia.

I fucking hate you assholes down South so fucking much. Nobody ever thinks of us until they need a place to go hunt and fish over the summer, or a place to take natural resources from. And you give us nothing back in return. Alaska can live just fine without the South, it is the South that needs Alaska.

We could buddy up with Russia and essentially dominate the natural gas market and tell the rest of you to get fucked.

Alaskans, get in here. Show me your war face.

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Rightful canadian clay

Fuck off. Even an Alaskan army could defeat the cucked-tier one you have. Our moose cavalry would be feared across the world.

>Weed is legal
>Open carry is permitted
>Perfect temp
>comfy night time for months
>comfy sunset for months
>begging people to live there
>guaranteed to survive the happening
>literally no niggers or chinks

It's a fucking paradise I bet. I hope to one day live there. I see no other goal but Alaska.

>our moose cavelry
>forgetting who fucking bred the moose you own

You are acting like hong kong pretending to not be part of china. I'm not saying to join the Federation of leafs, but Alaska is filled with the same people as leafs, but with the alpha uncuckable constitution of the U.S.

...

>Fuck the South. If Alaska were to secede, WE would be in control of our oil.
>unironically calling the entire lower 48 the south
Don't, your just making shit more confusing. Come up with something better.

Southern nigger states are the south to us. Call us something else, mainlanders maybe?

The country is more divided East vs West anyways. Easterners have a positive view of the federal government while westerner (no matter left or right) have a overwhelmingly negative one.

The U.S. bought Alaska, therefore the U.S. owns Alaska. Alaska succeeding would basically mean war with the U.S. because we (the government) payed a good amount of cash for that clay. We won't give it up that easily.

> Alaska is filled with the same people as leafs
Alaskans are and never will be the cucked retards that leafs are.
Sorry m8. In Alaska, we consider all of you the South.

*seceding, not succeeding
although succeeding in seceding

And it's been paid back with interest with all of our oil and gold you've stolen you piece of shit. All of that was true when we were a territory, but we're a state now. You don't "own" us anymore.

> $7.2 million
>good money

literally Jewed the Russians. People call that pennies today but idk how much that is equivalent to.

We didn't steal it from you, we took it from ourselves. We bought it so therefore we should be able to reap to benefits.

If all the states were a family, Alaska is the angry NEET that rarely leaves his room, and when he does it's just to come out to bitterly berate everyone else in his family for making too much noise or otherwise disturbing him from whatever he does in his room.

Just go back to your room, Alaska. Nobody is thinking about you.

And as I said, everything you took before 1959 was rightfully yours because we were a territory. But we aren't anymore, we are a state. And we were a state when you discovered oil and suddenly decided that Alaska was important. But only important enough to take our shit.

Fuck off, Southerner. Alaska has rights and the US has trampled on them. We want out REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

That's my point. Nobody thinks about us but you happily pump gasoline into your faggy ass Honda Civics that was made with Alaskan black gold reeeeeeee

>you don't own us anymore
fucking delusional

Your just confusing and overusing the term then, making it less effective as a slur.

Unite with the west. We will purge southern California and become great without the east coast cucks

This and it's literally what canada tries to do. Berate America for being violent because we don't have even a fraction of the problem that America has and see cops killing "innocent" niggers as barbaric and not as just pest control.

Cold northern countries are way too fucking privileged because we're green as fuck and don't have to deal with shitskins so we think we can do a better job then America - then once the shitskin horde floods in we realise the mistakes. Either Sweden or Canada cold countries are too innocent and think shitskins and gooks can be reasoned wth.

>tfw you realize if the oceans rose just 20 feet all of America's problems would be destroyed

Global warming now

Beach front property and less niggers. Literally no downside.

how do i move to alaska

By fucking off, we're full.

But in all seriousness, don't come here unless you have a good job lined up. If you don't have a good job lined up, don't come here if you don't have a strong work ethic and an ability to provide for yourself.

Lived here my whole life and love it. I can carry my problem solver without having to ask Big Brother for permission. That's reason enough to stay. Winter sucks though, but summer is BASED.

Whereabouts you living? I'm down here on the Kenai so winters aren't too bad. I pity those fuckers in Fairbanks though.

Are the schools in Alaska any good? My contract with the military is almost done and want to move far away and start fresh.

"The U.S. took the Alaskan gold and oil then we automatically payed back to the U.S. what they spent on us!"

You didn't pay anyone back. The U.S. purchased the Alaskan territories and should therefore be granted all of the resources that entailed. Just because we took the Alaskan gold and oil doesn't mean you should have the right to independence. We payed for that gold and oil, and should therefore be allowed to mine and extract as much as we like because we payed for it. If someone was to buy land in Texas without knowing there was a bunch of resources below this land, and then the owner was to extract some of these resources that would equate in value to what this man payed for the land, should the original landowners be granted the land back because the man took the equivalent money he paid for it? No, because since he bought that land, he owns the land permanently. It doesn't matter if he were to take every last drop of oil and every last nugget of gold from it, it still belonged to him because he rightfully owned it.

Fairbanks. The winters havn't been too bad lately. It only hit -40 once last winter and it's been extremely mild so far.

I guess. I bullshitted my way though all levels of public school and was honor roll a lot here so I can't exactly say.

Retard. What part are you not understanding about Alaska not being a territory anymore?

And for the record, the US never bought Alaska *for* the gold or oil. Nobody even knew it was there when it was purchased. The Alaska Purchase was called Seward's Folly for a reason. Nobody understood why the fuck we paid good money for a big empty land filled with beavers. And then the gold was discovered and suddenly it became profitable. And then, in 1959, Alaska was granted statehood. And THEN oil was discovered.

So in reality, here's what happened. You bought land from someone for no good reason. You allowed some people to move onto the land to trap and hunt a bit. Then, you discovered gold on the property. So you made lots of money from all the gold being produced, but as production dwindled, you decided to simply hand the land over to the workers living on it now. Then, you looked back a few years later and saw they found oil there too. And so all of a sudden you started chiming in with "this is muh property and muh oil I paid for it" ignoring the fact that you had already given it away.

Stop being an Indian giver you stupid cunt. Fuck off. You don't own nothin goyim

Schools, and hospitals, aren't that great here in Alaska. If I ever get married and have kids (which I would like to, but pickins are slim up here), I plan on homeschooling my kids just so I know they get a very good, rigorous, classical education before probably going out of state for college, if they choose to.

My only issue with that is that it homeschooled kids tend to be fuckin weirdos because they don't know how to socialize, but oh well.

It would satisfy my border autism, to be fair.

>forgetting who fucking bred the moose you own
>mfw Canucks are so impregnanted by the muslim culture than they start to fuck mooses

>fossil fuel reserve

Which is why we bought it from Russia to begin with. It's OK, we don't actually get hydrocarbons from fossils, so you can rest easy.

>little more than a meat shield during the Cold War

Reason number 2 for the purchase. Is that English you're speaking? You're welcome.

>rich dentists who buy up all the good property

This is precisely the reason my wife wants to move there after nursing school is done. Once again, you have a good use for this place that sites right beneath the arctic circle. Also, is there some jealousy going on here?

>calling us yokels and rednecks

That's not nice, but you have to consider that living there year round warrants the prestige of being considered a hardened nature type.

>BUILDING SOME FUCKING ROADS

You do realize that the states themselves do this, right? Don't you get a subsidy from all that dinosaur fuels you sell to the rest of the states?
usbig.net/alaskablog/about-the-alaska-dividend/

>owns 60% OF OUR LAND, with the state owning most of the rest, leaving us with little useful land for private ownership in anywhere that's even remotely located near civilization

Hence the basic income and the meat shield requirement for living in a place that has "basic income". You are welcome. Why aren't you less bitchy like the Kilchers?

Love is the real jew. If I didn't fall in love I would live in alaska. I would use my savings to purchase an inuit lolita and live out in the deep wilderness. Just relaxing, eating some trout, rubbing her down with some warm moose fat, chopping trees up, breathing the fresh air. I would sign up for the alaska permanence fund and come to town once a year to cash my check and buy a bunch of ammo and whiskey and sell some pelts n shit. I hate my life.

then fight for it

funny, but no. you can't even ride meese as far as I can tell.

breeding them as in horse breeding you silly dumb frog

>>guaranteed to survive the happening
>>literally no niggers or chinks
I know, right? Little does my wife know that our current location is building us up to live there one day.

I know your pain bro, wyoming user here
the federal government has fucked us about as bad as they have you, but like you there is fuck all we can do about it

our populations are so small even with the innevitble 30:1 k/d ratio we would be overwhelmed in a week

I know that alaska has gold miners, dudes who drive trucks on ice, angry guys who catches grabs and loggers.
t. knower

>the US bought Alaska because of its fossil fuel reserve
American education. Alaska was purchased before anyone knew about the petroleum, natural gas, or gold. It was literally just a big barren wasteland with lots of beavers, fish, and timber.

All of the other stuff you said is retarded too. You do realize Alaska was purchased in the 1800s, right?