>be russian
>wake up with blinding hangover in shit apartment
>look out window at the neverending grey monolithic hellscape of soviet-era apartment buildings
>another beautiful morning
>put on my best tracksuit
>half a bottle of vodka for breakfast
>time to go to work
>cross apartment yard
>two babushkas screaming at each other
>bus is an hour late, someone jumped in front of it again
>finally get to work at pravda, i mean russia today (forgot we changed the name a while back)
>settle into my 2m x 2m cubicle
>log into hundreds of reddit accounts to upvote RT articles
>another day, another ruble
>only have to work for 12 hours with no overtime, good day indeed
>given weekly pay of krodoil needles
>stop by bar to celebrate, meet up with comrade boris from election hacking department
>order shot of vodka
>"that will be 6 krokodil needles please"
>fucking sanctions, was only 4 last week
>vodka is obviously just turpentine
>whatever, drink it anyway
>sexy lady starts chatting me up
>has only lost some of her skin from krokodil addiction, automatic 10/10 in russia because all others have been sold as mail order brides
>decide to go back to my place
>bus service ended, too many people jumping in front of the bus has jammed up the wheels
>stumble home drunk
>can't find my apartment
>would like to say "it's the shitty one" but they all look like shit
>finally recognize screaming babushkas from earlier, one has stabbed the other
>go into my apartment for sexytimes
>she just wants to do more krokodil
>whatever
>pass out listening to putin reminding us russia stronk
Be russian
First for Nebraska
wat
You will not post any of the following outside of Sup Forums: Trolls, flames, racism, off-topic replies, uncalled for catchphrases, macro image replies, indecipherable text (example: "lol u tk him 2da bar|?"), anthropomorphic ("furry") or grotesque ("guro") images, post number GETs ("dubs"), or loli/shota pornography.
Love it when krauts carp on Russia.
Kek
S-savoir of the w-white race
Pretty accurate
>Be german
>get hit by truck of peace
>still elect Merkel
>68% thinks it's not refugee related.
thanks hitler
view from my window
>be german
>create euro
>0.5 DM = 1 euro while every other country gets rekt
>be german
>be a scam artist
grim
Jesus that is depressing
>be roach
>cosplay as a german on a rastafarian voo doo doll making help line
...
>be german
>create euro
>2 DM = 1 euro
>wages instantly cut in half, number wise
>prices stay the same (just switch the DM signs for €)
>we economic powerhouse now
everything except the car looks normal to me
looks comfy af
Chernogorsk looks great in the winter.
Looks like Wisconsin to me
best state in the union
lets go fishing
>but its -2 out here
don't care
at least im not in Illinois anymore
...
Gorgeous
Fix it up a bit and it looks like one of our commieblocks aswell
I'll stick with Mississippi. We still got plenty of green stuff in the winter time. Magnolia trees are comfy af
you expect me to read your butthurt drivel?
I unironically like this. Envious Ruskies actually think it's fun living in a consumerist disneyland
> be german
> lose war
> russians raped my oma
> make this thread
I just realized this is probably the main reason for German russky hate
b-but.. muh..
I guess I'm wrong then. the fuck.
germans should be bankrupt. how the fuck are still here? how did you survive? fuck the euro anyway
...
this.
Rolling
Forgot the question,will i find a ai,or non-ai gf soon ?
BTFO, lol. hope you're bi
holy fuck hans is this pasta? fantastic bants if not, screencapped/10
Isn't that one of the cities in DayZ?
I love how all westerners are trying to exaggerate the krokodil meme.
It exists, yes. It kills faster than opiates, true. It's everywhere and every single junkie is doing it 24/7? Nah.
That shit is designed to be a final drug. 2-3 month tops to take an idiot down. Detox won't help much, addiction it causes is almost impossible to cure, since it damages brain from the get go.
Simplistic nationalism and boisterous behaviour in political matters? Yeah, a huge problem. It was far worse in 2014 though.
not gonna lie, I lol'd at this pasta
russia is the best country on the planet you leftist shill.
...
I want to personally thank you for helping un-rig our election and getting trump into office. Consider my wife yours anytime you're in america, my friend.
...
if putin ever marches you across our border consider this my formal surrender.
Russia 2016 is better than in 2014
...
is not like here was any different
>Be spanish
>get forced to get euro
>166 pesetas=1 €
>Suddenly rounding kicks in, now things that was 100 pesetas goes up to 1€ (increasing its cost to 166%
>Still as fucked as allways
...
Be German...
I sometimes wonder what makes people post stuff like this. To waste the precious minutes of your happy consumerist life on a bitter attack on a shithole country and a white nigger nation. What is it about the stream of (You)s and angry responses from drunkards and krokodil junkies that makes it worthwhile? It's not like you live in an old apartment building and have to put up with your newly settled neighbors blasting Muslim "music", we all know that only commieblocks are like that. It's not like it's a gray winter outside and leaden clouds blot out the sky, we all know that only happens in Russia. It's not like your leader is trying to ruin your nation with their short-sighted policy, we all know that only Putin is like that.
It's not like you aren't happy, you're not Russian after all.
Why, I wonder.
Where do you live user?
lol star of david
This. Only Germans can be bitter and jealous enough to make these threads. I would rather live in Russia or other former soviet states any day over that German Cuckery.
...