>Be burger
>roll off of my double-kingsize bed, slip on my crocs
>bathe in my xtrasize jumbo shower™
>drop my bigmac on the shower, cry
>get down for breakfast on my stairlevator™
>mom made bacon and pancakes, tip mom
>sing the national anthem before eating
>pour half a gallon of high fructose syrup on cardboard tasting pancakes (no maple syrup, ‘cause fuck Canada).
>add 1 ounce of “I can’t believe it’s not butter” because never learned a reasonable standard international unit, so must use ounces like a retarded kid making up measurements
>Go to school, tip teacher
>Sing national Anthem, get frisked for guns before going to class
>1 hours of pep rally for big game, tip cheerleaders
>2 hours of learning about creationism
> 1 hour of being molested by priests
Be burger
fuck off sandnigger
>Be swed
>Get cucked by manly refugees
>Be Saudi
>Get bombed by Yeman
your flag is a fucking islamic bed comforter
what refugees? in my cozy little village there is no refugees. the government trtied to put some there, we showed those refugees the door immedately fucking sandnigger fitklh fuck you you are asshole and you dont fdeserve life fucking nigger sweden is the best country we have all the best things fcuk you i hate uyou
>Hear gunshots
>kid with giant assault rifle going nuts MGMT.mp3
>third time this week
>mental note to tip the teachers extra to make sure they are frisking everybody
>police arrives eating donuts on mobility scooters
> they kill shooter, plus 3 or 4 black kids from the neighborhood
> police officers automatically acquitted, because black kids looked dangerous
>tip cops, sing national anthem while they get their medals
>go back home, can’t eat tacos ‘cause they are too expensive (we needed that money to build a wall)
>get 4th mortgage on the same house
>watch as housing and credit markets collapse causing worldwide chaos
>buy tacos
>try to play fetch with my dog
>We both have heart attacks
>Get taken to hospital
>doctor is an Indian man, named Suresh
> my father complains Suresh is staling all the jobs
> father tells me that being schooled doesn’t mean being intelligent
> believe him, he is always employee of the month in Walmart
> tip Suresh
>get taken home, tip the ambulance guys
>MFW when 700,000.00 dollars bill arrives.
>Thank God we got rid of Obamacare.
>try to watch the news, but president Trump prohibited the news to transmit news
>end up watching 3 hours of Keeping up with the Kardashians
>next day go back to school
>have a surprise test on my American culture class!
>gonnafailthissohard.jpeg
>mfw the test is all about the Kardashians
> Ace test
>go back home
>make a thread praising Trump on Sup Forums
>itwasagoodday.txt
AMERICANS BTFO
kek
Aside from all of the tipping, this is pretty accurate actually.
>Except I was raped by my shop teacher and not a priest
>Be swed
>Get's cucked
>Gets insecure
>See's sandnigger
>Goes spastic
Swede's are great
>just called himself a sandnigger
fuck you come where i live i kill you be cause sweden dont want more refugees anymore we are going to deport you all fuck you
Nah brah our micro dicks are too small to actually get through our 500 pounds of fat ass
>Not putting butter-flavored high fructose corn syrup on your bacon
It's like you hate freedom
nice proxy
You forgot:
>apply yourself at work
>be awarded and appreciated
>paycheck is never late
>efficiency is appreciated
>asking questions doesn't make you look like an asshole
>not impeded by the vanity of others
>you don't have to join a political party to get ahead.
>Deport you all fuck you
>Deport you all
>You all
>you
t. autism
Trips of truth
Praise KEK
Wow you didn't clap at the big game?
Fucking unamerican piece of shit
why any of this?
are you chromosomally challenged in addition to being a barbarian?
Holy fuck paki going nuclear, how will swedecucks and burger ever recover
>Sandnigger
>Sand Nigger
>Nigger
It all makes sense now
Go fuck a goat
>slip on my fur-lined crocs.
Ftfy
It's February for fuck's sake. If you're gonna do it, commit to verisimilitude.
>burger
>Furry
Its a shitpost-off, just shitpost
fpbp
29th post best post
Wtf I love pakistan now
Pls more Drumpfy banter it's so refreshing
>Be Paki
>Be lower tier worse of muslim version of POOINLOO
>Be unable to hold on to Cashmere because worse version of POOINLOO
>Rage on a cambodian string trading forum
>Fail because fucking Paki
>Le burger brain conjures an attempt at insult
Let me show you how its done fatty
>Be paki
>Wake up
>Did not get blown up in sleep
>Pull my dick out of the goat
>Go to eat some breakfast
>Rocks and dirts hmmmmmm
>Ask Allah for forgiveness for leading such a lavish life
>Time for school
>Wear my best loin cloth
>Move bushes out of the way to get out of my cave
>Get on my camel
>giddy-up
>Wave to next door neighbour mustafa as he comes out from under his rock
>ohshit.jpg
>Forgot to do my homework
>Arrive to school
>Park my camel
>"Asalamualaikum user, this is the vip spot, it will cost you 3 goat testicles"
>pay him
>Good moring Abdul-sensei
>"user, I hope you did your homework, you remember what happend the last time "
>Sorry sensi but I was unable to collect any infidel blood
>"Oh user, you will fail jihad 101 at this rate, Its time to face the punishment"
>Teacher whistles
>Ahmed comes with his 12 inch blessed cock
>"user you cant do your homework because you've been possessed by the shaitan"
>Proceeds to exorcise my anus
>Get back home after exorcism
>Prettygoodday.mp3