>Nah, just look him up for good and cook his meals with pork fat
I had a variant of this idea, courtesy of our friend Shi'a LaBeouf.
al-Baghdadi should be sentenced to life imprisonment with the following in places:
- His imprisonment is to be live-streamed on the internet 24/7. He gets zero privacy whatsoever.
- The microphone will generally be turned off, but turned on for fun things like when the female prison guards check up on him or the hilariously gay barber/stylist comes to shave him.
- Three times a week, he will be shaved completely clean by a barber. If he will not submit to this, he will be tranquilized and the shave will happen anyway.
- He will also be given whatever haircuts are trendiest at the moment.
- The only clothes he will have access to will be exceedingly fashionable.
- Every item of food served to him contains pork in some way or the other. All bread, vegetables, etc., are cooked with pork lard. The only meat he is served is pork.
- The only beverages supplied to him contain alcohol. Meaning a waterless toilet system, and his sink is controlled by the guards to ensure he only washes his hands with the water from it. We can't dehydrate the guy to death, so for hydration purposes he can either have whatever 3.2% ABV light beer he prefers, or Faderade (Vodka + Gatorade) at 3.2%.
- There will be a big screen TV in his cell that is on whenever he is awake at night and during all daytime hours (like 7AM to 9PM). It will be connected to DirecTV. He can pick any channel he wants to watch - Al Jazeera will not be on the lineup. Only haram channels. He can mute the TV if he wants, but the TV will be forcibly unmuted for at least two hours everyday.
- The only guards who directly interact with him are all attractive, feminine women, wearing sexy uniforms.
- No rugs in his cell, period.
- He won't know where he is located so he can't pray towards Mecca
- He's given a Quran but it's filled with typos