“Suicide is an option” voice in my head tells me.
“I can’t, I’ll take mom & dad with me. They don’t deserve it” I tell the voice
“You failed everything you started & you don’t belong on this planet, this planet will be better off without you” -Voice
“I have a great job, so I must have did something right” -Me
“You failed that too, & its a matter of time before you end up in jail, where you will end it anyway” -Voice
“if that happens, I might have to end it but until then I need to hold on. I want a family” -Me
“You will never get married, you have toenail fungus!! Its nasty & no one will want to live with you” -Voice
“……..” -Me
“Suicide is an option” -Voice
“Thats throwing away a life God gave me for my own selfish reasons. Ill go to hell” -Me
“Hell does not exist!!! What kind of God knows the future & knows that we the people are super weak & still give us this extremely hard test but you can’t say no because thats suicide & if you don’t worship him you burn for eternity. Why give you a life in the first place? Why? Why? So a loving God just lets us burn ourselves out/die/burn in hell for eternity.” -Voice
“if I was God there would be no pain, & id love to save the world but I can’t even save my own self. I SWEAR I TRY DAILY” -ME
“So do you believe in this God?” -Voice
“yes, I do!! look around you Ive heard many funny religions but the funniest one was (this is all a coincidence)
but Im still so lost” -Me
Repeat Every Single Day, EVEN THOUGH I IVE BECOME A BETTER PERSON TO OTHERS & FINALY PROUD OF HOW FAR I WENT WITH CHANGING MY CHARACTER FOR THE BETTER. I STILL CANT GET RIDE OF THAT VOICE.