Season 3 when?

Look at the image in this thread, realize that those pieces of shit are more likely to get another season, and cry.

...

The amount of people bitching about inane shit to do with their terrible shows always surprises me.

Probably never.

When she materializes in my bedroom for an all-night session of cuddling

So this

Remember to hide and report all posts ending in 8

You never know. She might wish to be able to comfort a sad lonely man one day.

What makes you say that? If FMP does well, that opens the door pretty wide for Haruhi S3.

Why is our fate tied to FMP?

They have a lot in common; both are Kadokawa properties ;both were very popular at one time; both had popular anime adaptations produced by Atsushi Itou.
Most importantly, neither has had a new book since 2011, and even their spin-offs have largely ended. If you can reboot the FMP anime for profit, the same can be done with Haruhi.