Lets play some Gwent

Lets play some Gwent

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Gaunter, I choose you!

Forgot muh pic

Who else thinks that the skellige deck is shit? Had a lot of problems in the tournament and had to reload a couple of times to even beat the monster deck guy

It's literally pay2win and not just in the meme way like Hearthstone

DAILY REMINDER THAT SKELLIGE DECK IS NOTHING BUT REFURBISHED SCOIA'TAEL SHIT WITH A SHIT TON OF ONE CARD GIMMICKS.
DAILY REMINDER THAT ONLY NORTHERN KINGDOMS AND NILFGAARD ARE WORTHY.

Monster is actually very playable.

I only had to reload once, against the Nilfgard guy cause muh spies. But I think I got some lucky hands

Really wish they added regular spy cards to the other factions

This makes no sense.

If you didn't beat this fuck on the first try, end yourself.

The picture*

spies imba

I had to reload like 5-6 times to beat nilfgaard, deck is just too good
on the upside once you're past the second game mirror skellige and scoiatel are piss easy
They should have asked you the question "do you like the skellige deck" AFTER the tournament, my answer would have been different

These comics make me angry

It is shit.
It has no spies
The light ships and shield maiden summons will get scorched every single time.
The "scorch" pirate will get you fucked most of the times.
Bran is the only worthy leader card (give back the spies he throwed me so I cannot resurrect them, seriously)
Only a healing unit
Berserkers need another card to work, that only works in the same line (so it is useless to have both the regular berseker or the young ones)
The best you can do is load it with heroes, gaunter and cow.

What, the child being possessed by the spirit of a 30 something years old jaded transsexual or the general logic of the entire comic?

Why does everyone hate the new gwent music? I thought it was pretty gud.

Yeah skellige storm was an incredible buff for monster

Huh, I had no problem beating the nilfgaard dude. Must've been lucky.

It does have an interting strategy where you can half weather damage, and basically dominate a game using weather cards.
To bad hero cards ruin this strategy

Monsters are melee heavy
Foltest will probably carry the remove weather from premises
Scoia tael are shit anyway
Nilfgaard is the only one I think will suffer from it.

Can someone explain me this comics? It might be just language barrier,but I just don't understand the final frame of it.

Both.

Don't be too angry. I'm fairly certain it was "confirmed" these comics were specifically made to paint the trans community in a bad light.

I don't understand any point it tries to make.

>im allowed to generalize about you + all cis people because of your privilege as someone who isn't trans

>anyone who disagrees with me is transphobic.

does anyone actually legitimately like these other then tumblr

Looking at it as a satire, I can appreciate it but I wouldn't say "I like it".

Ok, then let's backtrack a bit - the fuck are cis people? Because the comics reads as "Buzzwords are fun".

people who arent transgender.

trans- being the prefix for 'opposite' or something

cis- being the prefix for 'same'

i.e. you're comfortable with the gender you are

This is also the reason there is no point playing other decks than the Northern one. You don't have some truly epic cards... but you don't have easy-to-hit-or-counter spots. Your deck is, simply put, average, allowing a lot of interesting options. If it only had one medic more than the starter one, it would be fucking golden, but it's not like lack of 2nd medic card is making it hard or unfun.

Ok, now it makes some sense. I mean - the dialogues do. The end point simply goes from "uncomprehensible" to "someone is retarded"

cis = normal they made a new word for normal because it hurt their fefes, as in not a faggot or tranny. A man that wants to have sex with women is "cis".

At one point it was funny because we both had 2 decoy cards in hand, and he used one of the nilfgaard spies. I picked it up, used it, then he picked it back up, used it again, and we bounced the card around another couple of times.
Immersive Spy Simulator 2016 would play again

who makes these cards? everyone is playing this game. but someone is making these cards.
And why the fuck each and every beggar has "unique cards" I won from kings and heroes. These cards cost more than some people houses in this universe.

A man that wants to have sex with women is "heterosexual"

Yennefer has the medic ability, and you could also use a decoy on the medic to use it twice.

There is always Yennefer. Anyway the basic medic is still one of the best medics.
Scoiatael is literally strength zero. Skellige is strength two.
Monster I think they do not have. Nilfgaard is strength one.

They didn't invent a word for it, they stole a prefix most commonly used in chemistry when referring to the placement of hydrocarbons.

I know about that, but I'm talking about direct 2nd medic, not hero card. That would push North from "really solid deck" to "accept no substitute", because as for now, it's still a matter of strategy and preferences if you want to use North or Nilfgaard
Any other deck is shit, which is a real shame given how good the Skellige deck COULD be

I don't think it's trying to make any point at all, since it's lost somewhere halfway through

Top Kek

...

>Rich fellas ask the bitches to play pretend as mermaids
>The whore has to give him a card afterwards
Top kek of redania

...Do you Catan?

alright, come at me bro.

Do people use anything other than Northern Kingdoms?
Maybe if there were purist tournaments where no hero cards are allowed your faction would matter.

Nilfgaard is as good as NK. Monsters are gimmicky but not weak while Scoiatel are shit.

Skellige is Sociatel+. Playable but weak. You also need to play them in the tournament in Blood and Wine.

>start blood and wine
>failed: collect them all

i'm not a native speaker but i don't think that's a grammatically correct sentence

maybe if he wrote
>and comparing your [buzzword] to [buzzword] is proof that you lack it

not everyone is fit to become a pokémon master

>tfw can't use your witcher 1 nudie cards in gwent

This what you get for being a retard-tier collector

i'm in ng+ trying to do collect them all now, never played gwent before but it's actually pretty fun

There should be a mod for Geralt's mighty deck of love.

NO NEW DECKS

LEAVE OUR GAME ALONE

>play geralt harem
>only one leader card boosts one line by placing geralt in it
>special power of the deck is it resets the commander card
>whores and generic women he laid are common cards
>all somewhat noticeable women he laid are stronger than normal cards

Thanks for the heads up, tho

so happy b&w added more gwent music

more earporn for my ears

How in the fuck am I supposed to play Gwent? I'm doing a new playthrough and decided I wanna git gud at it since it seems fun. Only problem is I can't understand it or what cards are good.

...

All cards have their uses except for Triss and Poor Fucking Peasantry.

In my experience Northern Kingdoms was the best since I had fuck all cards in every single other deck

Monsters fucking blow and can be easily countered by Frost, not to mention it may drain cards faster if you pull one of those combo cards

Same goes for Scoia'tael

Nilfgaard would be pretty good if I could actually find more than one archer card

>Poor Fucking Peasantry
Shit, I mean Poor Fucking Infantry.

Northern deck is your best call to learn the ropes.
Remember to buy cards from White Orchard innkeeper before you end up the questline there - they are unique and can't be earned later.
Cards that mutually support each other are good, BUT only if their power value is at least 3. This way the basic North infantry support card with power of 1 is shit.
Keep the deck as small as possible.
Decoys are one of the most useful cards, as they allow to remove card from the table for later use.
Scorch cards are extremely useful, as they cancel entire line of enemy cards other than heroes.
When the Tournament quest says it's level 24, it fucking means it. Really.
Learn how to use spy cards, especially combined with decoys. This way you can end up with twice as many cards at hand to play.
You start up with medic card - you can resurrect any card from your pile with medics, then decoy the medic for further use.

the thumbnail looks like they're playing UNO

I haven't played it for months. it's possible that I missed one that you only get one shot and an update caused the fail, not the DLC.

Oh, and one more thing - don't feel ashamed of reading in the net where to find certain cards. I "rushed" Skellige just to get certain card for my deck, even if I was in the middle of Novigrad main quest.

>Triss
>The moment you get her - bitchin'!
>One hour later
>Jesus, why this garbage is still in my deck?

>what cards are good
Scorch is a must.
The rest is optional.
When fighting against a monster or Scoi'atel deck, remove torrential rain.
Spies let you draw 2 cards while placing the card on your opponent's field
Some cards double in strenght when they're placed next to each other
Weather cards are reducing the power of every unit to 1
Morale boost is doubling the power of every unit in the same row
Hero cards cannot be altered by other cards i.e. power can't go down or up, can't be revived or destroyed

>enjoy gwent way more than the actual game
Gwent standalone when?

>Finish the DLC
>Feel the overwhelming sense of emptiness for a third time.

How can one game make me feel so terrible.

nexusmods.com/witcher3/mods/953/?
youtube.com/watch?v=PPMVQiDv62c

It need to be more balanced first.

Shit like setting limits to hero cards, nerf them or outright remove them would be a good start.

How about Roche? Literally a throw-away card I always open with in the first round and then let AI waste cards to beat it.

I didn't enjoy gwnet at all, used the console to win the matches at the casino as you was forced to play

You can buff Roche.

Also add spies to the other factions, and rework the Sco'iatel so they are viable

Too late, they already printed the cards.

Alright, thank you guys for the answers. Looks like I fucked up by not buying the White Orchard cards.

500 Hour base game completion time confirmed

Gwent was not a very good game because it was way too simplistic and limited in scope.

But the worst part about it is that it makes NO FUCKING SENSE IN THE GAME'S UNIVERSE.

Who manufactures the cards? Who distributes them? How do people know the rules? Who do they buy their cards from? Who determines what cards are rare? Why do the cards have high-quality illustrations of famous people on them, some of whom shouldn't actually be famous? Why do normal people have Ciri cards? Who makes these? Why does the game imply there are some cards valuable enough to kill people over? Who sets the value? Who would pay money for those cards? If cards can be valuable enough to kill for, how can some farmer in bum-fuck nowhere have a rare, unique card you can win from him? Couldn't he sell it and live a nice, rich life instead of losing it to whoever challenged him to a game of poker? Who decides how strong different cards should be? Who writes and updates the rules?

These things make no sense.

>using anything but Northern Realms

Sure, you're going to have a hard time against monster decks sometimes, but it steamrolls everything else. I havent even tried using other decks. Beaten the main game using only Northern Realms, and havent lost a single gwent match yet in Meme-France


Also, why does so many NPCs speak with a swedish accent in this expansion? Especially the knight who was courting the cursed bird woman. His swedishness was through the roof. I thought these people were frenchies.

It's actually pretty good once you get used to having no spies and build a decent deck. You can focus on either being a Melee powerhouse with good Ranged support or an Artillery powerhouse with Ranged support. I'd recommend going Melee because of Cerys' ability. Also don't choose any weather cards, add some Clear Weather in your deck, add a lot of decoys, 2 Commander's Horns, and one Mushroom special.
After that, just pray for good cards like in usual Gwent and play like you're Monster/Scoia'tael mix

Reworking cards is out, but changing rules regarding hero cards isn't.

YES

>Forced
>Sidequest
Let me guess. You've accidently killed Keira, because the game didn't told you it will happen if you attack her, right?

>Who manufactures the cards?
the innkeepers
>Who distributes them?
the innkeepers and some other merchants
>How do people know the rules?
How do you know the rules? They fucking explain it
>Who do they buy their cards from?
The innkeepers
>Who determines what cards are rare?
Common sense
>Why do the cards have high-quality illustrations of famous people on them, some of whom shouldn't actually be famous?
Magic
>Why do normal people have Ciri cards?
They bought them

and so on, I guess most questions can be answered with magic and innkeepers

>But the worst part about it is that it makes NO FUCKING SENSE IN THE GAME'S UNIVERSE.

A wizard.
A wizard did it.

>Having issues like that in a setting like Witcher
Wow, you must be really new to post-modern fantasy.

Yeah, when you go with Triss to that party there's a small gwent tournament there where you have to beat three opponents. If you don't then you automatically fail the quest since it's a one time thing.

>get junior
>side quest

at least play the game before you respond

Gwent exists in the universe, but only dwarves played it and it obviously didnt have Geralt and Ciri cards.

Lets just pretend its magic and that the cards pictures/names change based on the psychology of the player, so Geralt sees the names of people he knows etc.

But yeah I agree its stupid, they should have actual famous leaders from the setting on the cards and not people only Geralt really know about.

>the innkeepers

Wat

How can "the innkeepers" conspire to manufacture a card game that literally everyone plays? How do they print the cards? Are all innkeepers in on it somehow? Even the broke ones in the middle of nowhere? How do they distribute the cards? Do people just go up to the bar and say "Gimme some Gwent cards.", and get handed a random pack?

And how does "common sense" determine the rarity of cards? That's ridiculous. How can you prove a card is rare, or more specifically, unique? Surely the cards aren't made with modern materials, forging one shouldn't be too hard, especially when you consider the amount of money Zoltan claims is involved in the rare card market. Selling counterfeits should be a huge business.

>They bought them
Why is she on the cards? Who even knows who she is? She's a random girl raised in a hidden monastery by a secret order who then ran away from bad guys. She's not a hero or a famous person.

Gwent was started by the Dwarves and cards were presumably made by them too. In game cards are distributed by collectors and innkeeps. They probably got their cards from other collectors and innkeeps. Dwarves probably made the best cards the rarest, common sense really.
Cards have high quality illustrations of Witcher characters on them because it's a minigame. Normal people have Ciri cards because they play Gwent and got her in a match or bought her.

In the end though, most of your concerns can be allayed with the realization that Gwent is just a fucking card minigame in a video game.

>Who manufactures the cards?

Dwarves

>Who distributes them?

Wizards of the Coast lel. Dwarves of course.

>How do people know the rules

Exactly the same way they know the rules of poker

>Who do they buy their cards from?

Inkeeps and merchants, just like Geralt

>Who determines what cards are rare?

The invisible hand of the market. If there is more demand for a card than there is supply of it, than it is rare and valuable. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_Nine#Black_Lotus

>Why do the cards have high-quality illustrations of famous people on them, some of whom shouldn't actually be famous?

Literally the only valid question you asked

>Why do normal people have Ciri cards?

You're just rewording the previous question

>Who makes these?

The Same dwarves who make all the other ones

> Why does the game imply there are some cards valuable enough to kill people over?

Because they are. Just as in our world cards exist that are worth a lot of cash. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_Nine#Black_Lotus

>Who sets the value?

The market. The value is whatever the seller is prepared to sell for and the buyer is prepared to pay for it.

>Who would pay money for those cards?

People who play Gwent

>If cards can be valuable enough to kill for, how can some farmer in bum-fuck nowhere have a rare, unique card you can win from him?

It's a gambling sport. He probably won it playing Gwent.

>Couldn't he sell it and live a nice, rich life instead of losing it to whoever challenged him to a game of poker?

A lot of people are addicted to gwent, just like hardcore gamblers in our world

> Who decides how strong different cards should be?

The dwarves who make them

>Who writes and updates the rules?

The dwarves who make them

It was part of the 1.2 update. Basically pre-patch the quest would never show as failed. With the patch in place, it detects whether you've fucked the Gwent collection.

Are you at least aware you don't have to win that round, right?

One says the Dwarves make them, one says the Innkeepers. Both use it as a one-word handwave to pretend it actually makes sense in the setting.

Which of you is right? Can't be both.

Fuck monster decks, that is all