Meanwhile, at Apperture Science Sup Forums

Meanwhile, at Apperture Science Sup Forums...

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youtube.com/watch?v=0TZd95BCKMY
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Ok guys, we need to figure out something revolutionary to beat those Black Messa fucks this year

Reminder that this test is not about the long term effects of shit posting while testing.

Guys we're bankrupt
We're finished
We were anally devestated by Black Mesa

Fiscal irresponsibility is also not part of the test.

Shut up Bill, you are paid to do science not mop about

We have to shut you down Glados
The best we can do to save the company is dismantle you and sell your parts

LE MONS XD

Quick guys, I need new test subjects. Anyone got some spares?

How about we outsource our test subjects to Mexico?

Bob? Werent you fired by Mr. Johnson?

Please return to the testing area.

hey guys im not sure if you knew this already but this is an autism thread

We don't have time for that
I'm just going to dismantle you right now

O-oh! Oh! Um, I've got an idea! Let's see uh, notes... notes... notes... AHA! There, there we go. *dumps game drafts* yeah, I call it... "Battleborn"! J-just lovely, isn't it, just positively beautiful.

We tried outsourcing before, we outsourced to India. Unfortunately the costs of cleaning their shit out of the test chambers after every test outweighed any cost savings we might have gotten.

You know what, screw it!
We'll become a toilet company and sell toilets to India

Guys, I came up with a new design for a test element, what do you think? Pic related.

We did that already sir, we sold exactly 0 (zero) toilets.

So are we mass manufacturing these things or not?
Teens and lonely housewives will love it

The aperture facility is a closed system, external revenue is not required for continued testing.
All employees are reminded that according to their contracts, testing is mandatory upon request, and refusal is grounds for immediate termination.
Please return to the testing area.

Did we use portal technology?
If so then it doesn't make sense.
Who wouldn't want a toilet with a portal in it?

this thread is so full of autism i literally cant leave until you all acknowledge it

who's the real autist here?

It's autism
There you can leave

Can you use the portal gun to blow yourself?

India sales are down, but that gives me an idea...

Bear with me here guys, what if we sold toilets to the rest of the world that used portals to empty over india? Rest of the world is happy, have portal toilets, I doubt the Indians would even notice!

GlaDos, do we have the budget to whip up a prototype?

Um guys..

GlaDos you just gave me an idea.
How about we make manufacture humanized figures based on you and sell them to Japan?

Someone shut Johnson up, he's talking about fucking lemons again.

>Apperture
This is an App company?

You're fired. Lemon-powered rockets are the future.

No.
Perhaps you can reflect on how you squandered all of your funding on trivial pursuits while you test.

"humanized"
Your next course is live fire.

Saucy everyone has their kinks and fetishes

What is this test for?

I hope everyone remembered it's Bring a Bird to work day

Science.

Glad I squandered funding on that test for the effect of a room full of puppies on money squandering execs then.

Are we going to test on the puppies?

Guys there are protesters outside
They think we are "unethical"

Dunno, GlaDos administrates it. I just signed the directive to pay for a padded room full of newborn puppies to be used in executive testing.

Excellent, more test subjects!

Unfortunately.

You sure that's not the test for the effects of mustard gas on protestors?

Hey I just welded a glue gun to the right hand of one of the interns but I lost him. Could you please keep an eye out for him?

So we sent this chick to do an experiment and this is how it went
youtube.com/watch?v=0TZd95BCKMY
I think she's dead