ITT: Greentext a story from the perspective of a vidya enemy and others guess who it is

ITT: Greentext a story from the perspective of a vidya enemy and others guess who it is
I'll start with an easy one

>Get orders from the boss to ambush this one green bastard fucking us up
>I'm with a bunch other mean guys ready to attack on sight
>Hear gunshots
>Time to slaughter
>Everyone fucking goes around like idiots
>Chuck an energy ball at him
>Hit one of our guys
>Gets mad and tries to fight me
>Misses and hits someone else
>It keeps happening
>The few that try to stop him end up hitting the others
>Withing seconds we defeat ourselves
>mfw this whole ordeal
>mfw he planned it
>mfw hear reloading behind me

How do I subscribe to this blog?

bump for interest.

>be me
>on the battlefield ever marching
>to where no one knows
>my m8s don't know they just walk.
>suddenly we hear it.
>"yahoo."
>we shake in fear but march ever onwards.
>"yippee!"
>this sick fuck's warcries haunt me to this day.
>suddenly
>BAM. Impact is made. We panic, but keep up our march.
>BAM. I'm out of my armor and knocked on my ass.
>I struggle to regain composure as I hear my comrad's screams.
>I remember nothing after that but a sea of fire.

>Get into city police force because you want to legally have a gun
>Fucking make a mistake and the dipshit sheriff sends me to backwater literally where town
>Found a way to murder someone and get away with it
>mfw I killed 2 roasties
>Got bored
>Persuaded someone to do the same thing except he thinks he's "saving them"
>mfw

>Just trying to chill in a dream and reflect on life
>this weird faggot with a giant pizza-cutter tries to touch me
>autism triggers, I just say something edgy to get him to fuck off
>he doesn't
>have to pull out weapons and get ready to fight this dude
>he won't stop bashing me with wild slashes
>he keeps shooting me whenever I'm about to attack
>Stuck in a loop and can't do anything cool cause this guy is a faggot
>die
>wake up in the chair, some other faggot with a cauliflower head is trying to touch me again.

Never played but, FF Tactics Advanced?

> be me, jumping around peacefully
> some armored dude comes in and seemingly wrecks the entire world
> the guy is going sanic fast, lifts cars, or invisible
> he finds me and grabs me
> kekgivemestrength.png
> throws me the fuck away
> I'm still on my way to space

...I have no idea what goes on in FF Tactics Advanced, but it must be some weird Bloodborne shit.

>join neighborhood watch
>go out at night to look for trouble
>Wolves get into town
>bag a couple and string them up to burn
>suddenly this fucker in plainclothes and a cane starts wailing on my buddies
>take him out easy
>not twenty minutes later he comes running back
>repeat a couple of times
>craziest shit
>finally he shows up in full trench coat and chops all my buds to bits
>watch in horror on my cart
>unload into him but keeps coming
>he smacks me on the head with his cane
>think about my wife and son at home
>this town is finished

Bloodborne

Maria from bloodbourne

Adachi

Purse Owner Fore

D'oom

Fuck's sake Maria, you stagger with the pizza cutter lawnmower attack. What did you think was gonna happen?

You got it

Imma give you a clue. It's a Final Fantasy.

>Peacefully live in a tower
>Full of monsters
>I like to stay alone and secluded
>I actually got a lot of items

>One day we got visitors
>Four guys come
>They kill every other monster
>I face them.
>I like them.
>I give them some of my items.
>They attack me too.

>be russia in shit outpost
>hundreds of outposts but no reason
>trying to piss vodka and smoke cigarette
>hear friend shout warning
>Bepтoлeт!
>Hear American music
>AND SO I CRY SOMETIMES WHEN I'M LYING AWAKE
>It is helicopter
>Start shooting glorious 7.62mm at it
>See americana get out
>he is naked except for leopard pattern pants
>He has slut with sniper rifle
>suddenly comrades start dropping
>hearing autistic humming
>hide as best as I can, I still need to piss vodka
>AND I SAY HEYEYHEYHEYHEY
>Think about suicide
>Americana came here for some bizarre reason
>peek up and see Americana tying balloon to copper container
>Why?
>There is no why
>Americana rides container with balloon into air
>immediately helicopter vanishes
>all friends dead
>still need to piss vodka.

>manning my post, protecting this USSR base
>in a room with three bros protecting a console that activates a door into the chemical plant part of the base
>hear 6 shots of what sounded like a silenced pistol
>its go time
>my buddy opens the door, I am in the back providing cover
>suddenly this guy dressed in all black sprints in at inhuman speed
>nonchalantly shoots my buddy in the head killing him instantly
>activates the terminal and leaves the room before me and the other surviving guy in the room can even raise our guns to kill the bastard
>run out of the room to see the carnage
>few dead guards, over half a dozen other guards chasing him
>maybe half a minute later the alarm in the base is going off
>that same asshole blew up tanks containing toxic gas
>everyone evacuates or at least tries to
>I am one of the few to make it out alive
>get the story from another guard of what exactly happened
>says he was manning his post when a door opened and the same guy dressed in black, who was apparently a secret agent or some shit, sped through the door
>so fast he and the two other guards in the hall didn't have time to aim
>we wouldn't even look up, he would stare straight at the ground and run faster than anyone else could run
>to go even faster the crazy bastard would throw a mine at his feet and detonate it, letting the explosion propel him forward
>apparently he would fire an entire magazine into the ground to bait guards ahead of him into opening doors for him
>he was in and out of our base, from my sighting to escaping the chemical tank room in less than a minute
>my fucking face throughout the entire ordeal

Something MGS?

P4

They really should've given her some poise. It's breaking the rules but that moveset is too good to be wasted.

Goldeneye with James Bond attempting to get 45 seconds to get one of those fucking cheat codes

MGSV

Oh I thought they were middle-Eastern, haven't played the game yet

>stationed with bros in some backwater place
>no way anyone is coming out here
>group of guys in armor start fucking around
>Mikhail starts shooting at them
>one of them teleports inside of him
>chunks of Mikhail now line the walls
>everyone's going nuts shooting them
>they're throwing toilets and beer bottles and teleporting inside more people
>lean out and blast away at one slow fucker
>he screams about his leg being broken and runs to cover
>hear some weird noises, follow to finish him off
>weird noises stop
>he screams about his legs being OK now
>proceeds to leap up ten stories and lands on Dave
>Dave was standing on top of our sneakily concealed hamburger grinder trap
>armored guy goes down with chunks of Dave
>other armor guys start yelling about their mission being failed
>stationed with bros in some backwater place
>no way anyone is coming out here

Son, the cheat on facility (the level he is probably talking about) takes 2:05 to get. The world record is :54. As someone who has gotten the cheat I could not imagine getting even close to the world record

That's what happens when someone makes waves.

>Be bored at village
>it's fallen apart and the only two people here are autistic
>One is sitting at a monument bitching about curses
>The other is trying to sell useless shit
>New arrival is a cutie
>Think he can be the next monarch now that the king got cucked
>Tell him everything he needs to know
>He's really nice
>Can't wait to see him again
>He comes back and we talk about unlocking his greater potential
>Do the feather trick
>get a little hot seeing him put all his energy in getting stronger
>Nothing in dex
>It's hard not to tackle him
>10 hours later I see him
>He keeps cutting me off and telling me to shut up and "do the feather-thing"
>I don't know how to react so I just do as he says
>Try to follow him but he keeps telling me to shut up and let him "do the boss thing"
>eventually stuck at the village
>cutie is a dick
>life's kinda bad.

The game takes place during the Soviet occupation of Afghan so the enemies you face there are Soviets. You're told that the Muhjadeen are engaging them but never actually see them.

DS2?

Already figured out what it is in the first 2 quotes
The place is indeed Middle East, but enemies are all Russians

it is in the middle-east, during the eighties, at a time russia wanted to remove kebab and install glorious communism

yep

>driving downtown on patrol
>get a call in of a shooting
>sirens on get to the site
>guy jumps in a car and speeds off
>chase him down
>he crashes and busts out with a mother fucking assault rifle
>oh fuck shit
>my partners brains splatter as he reacts
>call back up
>whole damn force comes out to get the guy that killed my partner
>suddenly rockets fly by blowing up police cars
>shitting my pants in fear, this guy is a fucking terrorist, America is under fucking attack
>call in the god damn national guard
>tanks roll in
>we got this shit head terrorist now
>WHAT THE FUCKING HELL! HOW DID HE STEAL A TANK FROM THEM!
>Jesus Christ
>by the end of the day half my cop buddies are dead along with many good service men in the army
>will probably have extreme ptsd from just a day keeping the law safe
>mfw he gets out on bail

Everytime I tried getting it the fucking machine that opens the door in the beginning would get blown up.

The key is to shoot about 6 bullets when going down the stairs. That way while you are killing the dude with the key code the faggots in that room open the door for you, if you shoo the dude that will inevitably be in the door and continue strafing the other guys won't have the time to shoot to blow it up

>Just sitting in a shop in Blackwater
>this gentleman with a fucked up nose comes in
>"Hello, sir, how can I---"
>Motherfucker slams down 23 buffalo hides, 6 cougar teeth, 14 wolf pelts, and 20 pounds of horse pussy
>This motherfucker asks me to buy all this from him...

>stationed in this god forsaken city for months
>should have abandoned our position weeks ago but we have to stay to help the remaining civilian population
>through it all my best friend from basic training has survived with me
>hear from commander to be wary of some infiltrators that have been reeking havoc on our operations
>they even killed a shit ton of civilians we were protecting, fucking bastards
>the luxuries of this city had all but disappeared, anything, even just mint helps dealing with this god awful situation
>we're left to guard detail all the time, usually end up shootin' the shit with my battle buddy
>ask him if he has any gum
>gives me a piece, says it's his last
>I don't want to take his last piece, but he says it's fine
>suddenly I hear a gunshot from behind, and my battle buddy falls to the ground
>a man I've known since basic training, killed in his prime after such a kind act
>before I'm able to assess the situation, I'm hit
>the world turns to darkness, as the blood leaves my body
>never got to chew that last piece of gum

>20 pounds of horse pussy
I was just looking for one, what a coincidence

Underrated

TOMMY VERCETTI IS AN INNOCENT MAN

Saints Row 4?

> be me, russian soldier on a mission on what I was told is a petrol platform
> the people I work with are fucking balls
> they don't even wear uniforms, one of them thinks he's a vampire
> proceed to piss in the ocean during my patrol on the rooftops
> I get a call from the HQ, something's wrong in my area
> go inside check what the fuck is going on
> see comrades unconscious drooling on the floor, heroin syringues in their ass
> there's like 20 empty pistol magazines and 4 porn magazines on the ground
> faggot parrot won't shut up, asking me if I'm Ames
> suddently, see sexy blonde chick
> get shot in the dick, fall unconscious
> wake up hungover in a locked locker
> try to call someone on the radio to get me the fuck out
> it's broken
> well, at least I can fap to the nude girl poster

NOt really an enemy but still a bad guy
>Not James Bond comes by and fucks entire base up, base has no power
>Have to play ping pong by myself in shitty emergency power red light
>Boss decides that the reason he got so far in the first place is because none of us were armed
>Only way for us to know to pick up weapons is an air raid alarm
>Boss has been playing that air raid alarm for a week straight

>Russian soldier
It's MGS, ain't it?

This war of mine?

>me and my homies get a call from our boss
>supposedly some crazed asshole broke into her safespace
>when we get there he's wailing on her with some jagged metal piece of shit
>try to tackle him
>he walks feet to the side. fuck me
>before I know it I now have 10 more assholes than I had before
>mfw I fade out of existence
>mfw I no longer have a face

Spec Ops the Line
[

Final Fantasy Tactics A2 involves a dream world and the hero's official render has him holding a retarded pizza cutter sword. I can't really blame him for mixing it up.

spec ops nigger

I'm gonna go with Evil Genius

>beta me and the girl I love came into this valley to help the niggers living there
>told her it was a bad idea but she wouldn't listen because she's a fucking saint
>didn't know about vow of abstinence at that time so I followed her
>place is filthy as fuck
>niggers, giant mosquitos and flies everywhere
>doesn't matter because she's there
>she tries to help them
>don't give a fuck about that but she needs someone to protect her
>pretty strong so it's a good chance to shine
>suddenly a knight comes by
>he claims we are demons or some shit like that
>look around me
>aborted fetuses float in the swamp, deformed niggers pray around the girl, my former buddies' corpses are piled up all around the room
>say to the stranger fucker to crawl back to the hole he came from before I drown him with the baby
>he doesn't quit
>just tank the one choke point he has to go through to get my girl
>kill him a few times but he keeps coming back
>bastard finally gets me by spamming arrows from afar
>would gladly push back but my sense of honor is too strong
>die
>mfw he's going for the girl
>mfw he will taste her pussy before me
>mfw I'm still a beta virgin

Garl "Squidward" Vinland
got it from first line

Kek it's kinda sad when you think about it

>Stuck in lab my whole life
>Science dudes stick needles in me all day
>Fucking sucks, I need to get out of here
>Burn place down, seeya fuckers
>Find cave to hide in, shit's comfy
>Lots of strong dudes live in cave, they don't mind me, I don't mind them
>Pink blob things everywhere, they make nice company
>One day, kid sails up to me on a giant turtle, what the fuck is this
>Turtle starts beating the shit out of me, what the fuck did I even do
>Start raising defense and healing myself just so he'll piss off
>Keep blasting him with my superpowers, fucking kid keeps spraying turtle with medicine
>Kid is throwing balls at me the entire time, what the hell is happening
>Eventually beat the turtle's ass, kid just takes out a purple ball and throws it right at my head
>Shit hurts like hell, and then I'm sucked inside, can't get out
>Shit
>Kid uploads me into his computer, says there's nothing left to do, and just leaves me there
>Just fucking stuck inside a computer forever
>I pray for death, but death never comes

Mewtwo.

Yep.

>be soldier protecting zone from infection
>first day with my best pal
>tensions are high as the infection has been spreading rapidly
>talk to my best pal everything seems normal
>think I hear something so go check behind the tank
>nothing
>go back to best pal
>he starts freaking out and running up walls and over tanks
>think maybe he had too much coffee or something
>he then just stands there and stares at me
>a chill goes down my spine
>he points at me and yells to all of my comrades I'm infected
>everybody shoots me and now I'm bleeding to death
>last thing I ever see is my so called best pal powerbomb a grandmother off the top of a building on top of my corpse

The pissing in the ocean, and noodz in lockers should have given it away

Prototype

Prototype?

>Join army to see the world and defend my motherland
>faggot generals insist on making me guard the site of some sort of industrial accident all day
>nothing to do but drink vodka all day
>one day some anorak wearing nigga gets close to the checkpoint
>ask him to get out of here because shits dangerous
>he goes and hides behind a tree then starts shooting all of us
>We return fire, but everytime we hit him he just instantly wraps himself in bandages or puts some weird artifact shit on himself
>I get shot in stomach
>lying on floor in agony
>hear him walk over
>he doesn't kill me, he just steals my vodka

Yeah

>HONORED TO LEAD A SUITABLE FORCE OF MUHREENS TO A BACKWARD LAND TO LIBERATE IT FROM OUR BOLD AND FEWLISH ENEMIES.
>WE KNOW OUR DUTY AND WE WILL DO IT!
>WE DESCEND UPON THE FOE, WE OVERWHELM THEM, WE LEAVE NONE ALIVE!
>NO!
>WE HAVE FAILED...
>WITH MY LAST THOUGHT I WONDER WHY I AM SO BALD.

Cheeki Breeki 2: Zone Boogaloo.

(STALKER)

Good thing you specified STALKER otherwise I would have no idea about what you were talking about.

Yup

>So I'm hanging out in the woods with my kinsmen
>We're just waiting for some stupid mark to amble by unsuspectingly
>Of course we're going to kill him but we got to eat right? So don't judge us.
>Anyway, eventually we hear the sound of jogging footsteps and clinking
>Over the hill a dude pops over
>Full suit of Daedric armour, head to toe
>he's huge
>He has an ebony mace the size of a dragon's cock
>I swear to fuck his eyes were glowing red
>as he gets closer the strong, coppery smell of blood wafts upon us
>it almost feels like every step he takes shakes the ground a little.
>I look around at everyone, they are smiling
>We got this
>Jorg counts down from free and we all charge
>I wake up at the bottom of a cliff, barely alive
>A priestess of Kynareth hears my moans and saves my life
>I have no clue what happened

NEVER SHOULD'OF COME HERE

>be a guard
>be patrolling in a gallery
>has to follow operator's guidance
>was chilling and all
>walks into one of the room and is told to stay on a spot for a minute
>notices a human figure behind a thin statue
>legs stick out, arm stick out, also with a suppressed sawn off shotty
>but his head is perfectly out of my sight
>asks operator for advice
>he says I'm just imagining things and I will have to move to next room in a few secs
>fellow guard passes by
>asks him to circle around and catch the suspicious figure
>he's like "naw I have to stay on my course" and walk away
>time for me to move
>can't look back
>can't walk backward
>reach the door to next room
>suddenly boof
>my body flies through the door, lands into the next room
>operator calls
>that figure stands there at the door looking at my body but not getting close
>said door is rigged with alarm triggering lasers
>somehow my body didn't trigger it
>operator did not get his call answered and raise alarm
>suddenly every thing turns black
>be a guard
>be patrolling in a bank

>After getting discharged I joined a private military contractor working out of Africa
>It's a shit job but the pay is decent
>I'm guarding the perimeter of a tiny outpost in the middle of nowhere
>All the other guys are way more qualified than me and they roast me for it but hey, we can't all be former special forces
>I'm at the edge of the wire in the middle of the night, standing in the rain
>I literally can't even see 20 meters ahead of me
>Suddenly I feel feint and collapse
>next thing I know, it's daylight and I'm looking up at the sky
>I get up and look around
>everyone is gone
>the only thing left behind is their small arms
>the supply caches: gone
>the vehicles: gone
>the shipping containers: gone
>the radio tent: blown up
>the radar system: blown up
>I hear Tainted Love playing in the distance

TPP grunt

Payday 2?

Yeah. I gave away too many hints.

>Smash inta planet
>Humies ev'rywhere screamn'
>I lauf and look 'bout corpses
>See Dakka laying there
>Zug outta Tehn
>Go wild and fite humies
>Dey not fiten' back
>Soon da' Weak ones come...
>Den soon da' 'ard onez come...
>Dis gonna be a Good WAAAAAAAGH

>TPP grunt

It's so obvious but the stories are just too funny. I was playing Ground Zeroes.

>I'm at my post, walking my route
>it's raining hard as fuck
>oh well, only a few hours until shift change
>we had an emergency alert twenty minutes ago
>they found two guards murdered on the other side of the base
>multiple sweeps turned up nothing, so it's cool
>I turn around to backtrack on my patrol
>15 feet in front of me a homeless looking guy with an eye-patch is jogging hard while carrying a bloody woman in a bright yellow jumpsuit on his shoulders
>she's moaning and groaning like she's dying
>he turns off to the side behind some crates
>I let out a "huh?!" and go for my flashlight
>I get the thing out and turn it on
>there's nothing there
>must have been the wind

yeah it's great
GZ is so fun

Sounds like a Warhammer 40K game, I dont know which one though

>be a guard
>patrolling the mansion of some noble ass shit during the party night
>see some weird guy in a strange mask
>never mind, today is masquerade party
> guy with the mask shoot some noblemen in the yard
> never mind, it was a duel of honor
> guy In the mask keep doing strange things, I swear I saw he pickpockets some nobleman in the main hall
> never mind, those noblemans are rich as fuck, they will never notice
> after the party everyone starts screaming and running in circles
> our noble lady is missing and everyone gets robbed and their pockets are empty
> never see that weird mask guy again
>I need new job because I was fired after that incident

Correction to Space Marine isn't it?

Dishonored?

>land on a planet in a pod
>my friends come in a shuttle
>why does it always to be me coming in with a pod, it hurts my head
>ready for battle, get pumped
>some guy comes us real fast
>before I know it all my friends are full of holes
>look around confused
>suddenly some guy comes from behind me fast as sonic
>kicks me and I fly quite the distance because of the momentum
>wonder what even hit me
>then some giant ass robot steps on me
>feels bad man

Kek dishonored

>Born into shitty tribe in a literally who desert
>Place is filled with giant scorpions and wasps
>One day a whole army of dudes dressed in football gear show up
>They proceed to burn my village to the ground and shout about "profligates" or whatever
>Force me and everyone else into their twink army
>Years later
>Standing my post at our big dumb fort overlooking a dam
>Bored.jpg
>Suddenly some fucking guy and his cyborg dog just walts in guns blazing
>Kills literally everyone including my boss before suddenly teleporting out of there by just staring at his wristwatch
>mfw all my friends are dead
>mfw Im the only one to survive
>mfw we still have go take the dam tomorrow despite this

>Really hot day, again as always
>Almost makes me wish for a nuclear winter
>Go see what my friends are upto in their tent
>They are busy with their battle plans as always
>Go to my tent for some good ass soda
>Some motherfucker has stolen absolutely everything from me
>Don't even react because it keeps happening
>Commanding officer starts yelling at me because someone also stole my rifle and my ammunition
>Start wishing for a nuclear winter again

>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>AAAAA
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>AAA
>A
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>AAAAAAAAAA

Whatever the hell you call those bomb dudes in serious sam

AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! for the Awesome

Right!

>be me
>read some weird scroll
>get teleported about 1 mile into the air
>fall in front of some guy on a path
>die

game is fallout nv

>EM PLEH ESAELP EM PLEH ESAELP DOG EM EVAS ESAELP EM PLEH DOG HO
>ESAELP LEEF LLITS NAC I EID OT TNAW T'NOD I
>EM PLEH
>EM PLEH DOG RAED NIAGA YLIMAF YM EES OT TNAW TSUJ I

fallout

>Be born in the year 278 from a union between a farmer and the town butcher.
>Dad dies in the war, I grow up, leave home, and take up a life of crime in 299
>Year 300, life has been going well. Have a couple buddies with me. I've gotten a title after killing a couple schmucks who wandered into our turf.
>Suddenly wake up in the middle of the night.
>See my friend get flung against a nearby tree and explode into gore.
>Lose sight of whatever the fuck did it.
>suddenly I see an arm sail off into the distance.
>then a leg.
>Turn around to see a fucking ripped dwarf covered in scar tissue and wearing absolutely nothing dismember another of my buddies with his bare fucking hands.
>The process is repeated multiple times as stand there pissing myself.
>Eventually he turns to me.
>He shouts that he was the fucker who slew the necromancer a few miles to south, tearing him apart as he begged for mercy.
>Oh sweet lord in heaven I'm gonna die.
>He sprints toward me like an unstoppable juggernaut.
>I grab my crossbow and fire a bolt.
>It strikes him in the neck, piercing the throat.
>He falls to the ground and chokes to death on his own blood.
>go back to sleep.

holy shit it's been a long time since i've seen brian pepper

Sounds like a zombie from HL2

Titanfall?

Correct!
>Be me
>Pretty much rule the universe
>This one dude keeps getting on my tits
>Send thousand of my minions his way
>Dude kills them all
>Consider how strong the human spirit is for a moment
>Decide it's easier to just destroy his planet
>Fucker went back in time

>tfw finally broke free from einsteins cage with the stupidest ftl drive ever
>got rekt by insect ayylmaos
>praisethenukes.jpg
>turns out there's other more different ayylmaos too
>eternally jealous of their superior ftl movement mechanics
>be humble worker inna shipyard
>future shipyard
>spend all day building colony ships
>nothing but colony ships, once finished, fill them with colonists and send them on their merry way
>they start their journey with such optimism, never hear from most of them again
>ww1soldiersbeforethesomme.png
>it's a scary universe out there
>w/e just keep building colony ships
>generations pass, my family are still humble shipyard workers
>sometimes slavers raid us and take captives
>emperor is too cheap to provide protection
>war rages on, keep building colony ships
>war stops for a moment to put down a violent ai uprising that threatens to wipe us all out
>jk alliances are off now that the robots are back under control
>sometimes wonder if my entire planet's purpose is to build colony ships
>sometimes wonder how many planets named deneb there are
>outta fucking nowhere giant grey octahedrons start zapping the planet with some weird beam weapons (weapons?)
>turn us all into smaller copies of themselves
>I now live to replicate myself
>also there's dragons and shit