In the middle of the night

>in the middle of the night
>phone rings
>miyamoto is on the line
>$2000 and Switch will be yours tomorrow
>BoTW and 3D Mario included

what would you do

Sorry, I'll wait for it to have cfw.

Fuck off miyamoto I work in the morning. I don't have time for your toys

How did you get my number?

ok cool

Nintendo ninjas. A "little bird" told us that you were pirating our shit but that's okay because we're willing to forgive you. Take the game and money and give us a good review, m'kay?

Take the deal. Use it to sell exclusive media and info to various media outlets. Make my money back, and then some.

Lol nah.

Then i got back to bed

>buy for 2000 dollars
>sell for profit
of course I would buy it

>$2000 for a 20 fps Wii U game and a map pack to my least favorite 3D Mario
Well gee, I don't know

DEAL

THIS

Say no more!

*ring* *ring*
Hello?
>herro. Is theiss user?
Yeah. Who Is This?
>this is shigeru Miyamoto.
Ok. Why are you calling me
>rell. I was wondering if yew would rise a Nintendo swirtch.
No thank you.
>may I ask why not
I'm not interested in it
>could you please just trake it. They're going to krill me.
Who's going to kill you.
>them.
*grabs Miyamoto my hair*
>ieeee. Herp. meeeeee.
I got work in the morning.
>*gasp* you don't understrannd I'm in dranger.
Need me to call the police.
>no not the prewease. I need you to take swirtch.
I told you I'm not interested.
>*Bang, bang,bang*
>ii.ii.ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
*phone hangs up*

Say no thank you and ask him some questions about what the hell happened with sticker star and star fox zero.

pshh, nothing personell... kid

Sell it for for 50,000.

>am offered $2000 AND Switch
Of course I'm taking it.

Lol nahhh
>poorfag!
Lol nahhh

crush the stuff in a youtube video to make money of crying fans and keep the 2k$ of course.

>me
>answering phone in the middle of the night
I already don't pick it before noon to begin with. Or after 9 pm

Ez investment. Buy it and sell it to the highest bidder. You could probably make 2-3 times more than what you paid for it.

Edgy

Buy it, scratch a dick into the screen and then sell it for 3000 to someone else

>now all the early screen recorded footage of the games on YouTube have a dick

id buy it and sell it for at least $10,000 online

why is he giving me 2000 dollars, a switch, and 2 games? what does he want from me in return? im not doing any butt stuff

>two grand and a new console for free
What exactly is the downside?

I call him a faggot and a sell out for casuals and then hang the phone

>Spend 2 grand, probably a lot of money for some people but it's all worth it
>Get insider info for 2 of the biggest games in development for 2017
>Sell info, videos and screenshots of the games and make back at LEAST 5x what I spent
I don't even like Nintendo but you'd be a retard to not take such an opportunity

Well, "you" won't be "doing" the butt stuff

OHHHHH I totally read this as here's 2000 bucks and a free switch. No way in hell am I gonna buy one for that much. I'll wait.

put it in the trash and buy 20 years of ps+

sounds good

If there're no strings attached then I'll jump on it instantly. I'll make Switch videos months before any other site could even have a preview build. Nintendo can have my YouTube money; I'll get so much attention from Switch alone that it'll skyrocket my fame and I can finally quit this shitty fucking job I'm slaving away at.

Like that guy who bought no mans sky for 1300 bucks 2 weeks before release