Hi Sup Forums. My name is Gabe Newell, and my good friend Randy Pitchford asked me to tell you one thing...

Hi Sup Forums. My name is Gabe Newell, and my good friend Randy Pitchford asked me to tell you one thing. Buy Battleborn. It's a completely badass game, and it's much better than Overwatch!

Woah, hey Gabe. It's better than Overwatch, that's a given, but is it better than your nine-years-in-development magnum opus, Team Fortress™ 2?

Thank you so much for responding!
No, Battleborn is undeniably the best game on market currently! Please buy it! We even have pr0n for it now!

that's cool, the only porn TF2 has is gay stuff. I'll go buy it right now, thanks!

I like Battleborn, not interested in Overwatch. Opinion over.

Please recommend it to your friends too!

I'm sorry GabeN! I-I-I pirated Battleborn to see what it was like to compare it to the open beta of Overwatch and I chose to buy Overwatch instead.

But you didn't get the real Battleborn unless you played online with other players. Please buy it now! It's only 29.99$ now!

D-Do you promise t-that I'll find a g-game? I-I'm pretty strapped with money at the m-moment.

M-Maybe I should wait for a sale or buy it off G2A.

Totally!
It has a healthy userbase of 190 players, and you should have no problems finding matches!

Something isn't right here...
Can I see your son?

Just look at these honest eyes user
Can they lie?

Hi, Gabe!

I hear your recommendation for BattleBorn. I checked it out on Steam and it sure does look like a nifty piece of work!
However, I've heard that your friend Randy is a bitch-ass wimp piece of garbage that nobody likes. What can you tell me about that alleged coalescence of rancid placenta in the shape of a manchild? I just want to know about who I'm buying from before I purchase.

Thanks!

Hey Gabe, remember that time Randy Pitchford beat you in a game of poker for the rights to use the name Gearbox, leaving you with just a Valve?

It's just rumours spread by bigots. Randy is badass!

K

CAT'S FOOT, IRON CLAW
RANDY PITCHFORD'S WIFE'S A WHORE
NOBODY'S PLAYING BATTLEBORN

THEY'D RATHER JERK OFF TO TRACER PORN

BWOOOOOOOOW DEEDLE DOW DOW DOWWWWWWWW

Gabe, though fatter, manages to be far less greasy than Randy.
How does Randy maintain his high grease levels?

SHUT UP BIGOT

He drinks far more semen.

Sorry I like Todd better

Gabe, are you... crying?

...

wow Gabe you sure lost a lot of weight
what gives?

Wow Gabe! There's a very distinct change in the colour of your skin around the brow area! I'm not sure if I could trust you.

But does it have furbait like that Chinese ripoff?

Sorry Gabe! I already spent all my hard earned cash on Mr. Howard's Elder Scroll V: Skyrim Special Edition.

Here's a prettier version of that. Went ahead 'n smoothed out the facial coloration.

perfect

>the only porn TF2 has is gay stuff
>Implying it's bad

>toddposting rehash
At least try to come up with some original memes, you uncreative fucks

Guys...
I think this is Randy Pitchford...

But you don't need his advice.
Battleborn is a great game, game of the century, even!
Buy it now for only $59.99!

>I think this is Randy Pitchford...
Ridiculous
>Buy it now for only $59.99!
It's only $29.99!

Does it have porn though? I only play games that have porn to go along with it.

>At least try to come up with some original memes
Gearbox first.

Randyposting actually has context unlike that autistic Todd shit.

that's pretty damn good