You could totally beat up a horse

Look, if you can dodge every attack from every boss in Dark Souls just by rolling, something every fairly fit person can do with ease, I see no reason why a fairly fit person couldn't kill a horse with nothing more than some brass knuckles. Think about it: bosses in Dark Souls have decent AI and tracking abilities - once you learn their moves, they become a very doable challenge. A horse is much dumber than a boss and they aren't even aggressive when you first see them, so the first few hits are free while it's stunned at the fact that you're punching it in the face, and we already know the limits of horses and their movesets, so they can't really pull any AoE surprises. The only difference is you can't parry them, but even then, most bosses can't be parried.

Prove me wrong and explain why I can't beat up a horse. Oh wait, you can't.

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youtube.com/watch?v=QhDinIBETiI
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nigger what the fuck are you on about

Wat

Hoofstomp to the head. Boom you're dead

This makes my penis become the big penis.

The horse isn't programmed to attack you. It would run away when you started hitting it. You aren't faster than a galloping horse.

That depends on if the horse was feeling sheepish or not on the day you punched the horse.

Negro do you realize how fast a horse is? Not just running speed. Horses are pure muscle. It will hoof you to death before you get a second hit in, assuming your weak ass can damage it in the first place.

well, try it with a pissed off rodeo bull...

It wouldn't matter. Go find a horse. Punch it. It will run.

But technically you could dodge that.

>not trapping the horse in a boss arena

OP has a point, it's definitely possible to beat up a horse using nothing except your fists and dodging all its attacks, but in 99.99% of the attempts you'd get fucked.

How high are you right now?

Horses don't fuck around, it'd kick your skeleton right out of your body.

I've legitimately had this thought on dodging wild animals attacking me or something.

I'm sure a lot of people have thought this so this is a fantastic bait thread. I know it's wrong and retarded though.

Ornstein and Smough is a shit boss fight that relies on shit mechanics like Smough hitting you through Ornstein, semi-random hitboxes, and losing your lock-on.

Refute me.

stack dex not str

There aren't any i-frames in real life though, however I do agree that you could beat up a horse. A better question though is could you take on a bear?

youtube.com/watch?v=QhDinIBETiI

People continue to ridicule me for this theory but never raise any valid concerns. In addition to the points I just made, consider that horses
>get weaker than dark souls bosses the more they get hit
>have no second stage
>lose stamina over time
>have no magic/long range attacks
>are limited by their peripheral vision, unlike an AI
>are stupid
And it's hard to see how a smart and patient gamer isn't a horse's worst nightmare.

I mean if you really wanted to, you probably could beat up a horse. But why would you want to unless you're a sociopath?

The ever looming reality of an equine v human war wherein UN rules of engagement only permit us to use hand to hoof combat.Can you try to keep up?

>we already know the limits of horses and their movesets
I guarantee you it has a much better moveset than you. All a horse would have to do is bump into you and you'd be on the ground, getting stomped. Try to roll: get stomped. Try to get close enough to punch: get stomped. There's nothing you could do that would even hurt a horse, especially a weak faggot like you, OP.

>like Smough hitting you through Ornstein
completely wrong. it was always ornstein hitting me through smough.

entire post disproven. get shit on.

You forget gamers has 1 in str and dex from sitting on their asses all life

...

Have you ever tried rolling around like that in real life?

protip: videogames are not real

honestly wish dark sould would have god hand style dodges instead of the stupid roll

The reason you can dodge everything is because you can predict their attacks, because they have a limited amount of them and they always have the same fighting. A cornered animal is completely unpredictable.

>lose stamina over time

There is absolutely no fucking way you could out-stamina a horse. Also real life rolls don't have any i-frames.

You can't even play footsies with a horse because they have a high base movespeed.

Most people that don't actually handle animals can't seem to grasp how much quicker they are to react.

>Miller said horses might have the fastest reaction time of any domestic animal, which likely results from evolving with flight as their main defense mechanism. To illustrate the concept, Miller showed video clips of Portuguese bull fighting and cutting horses working cattle, in which attendees could clearly visualize that although the bovines made the first move, the horse always countered and arrived at the destination first. While a fast reaction time is quite useful for escaping predators, it can also be dangerous for humans working around horses. "It's important that we, who make our living with horses, expect their reaction time," Miller stressed. "If (a horse) really wants to strike or kick you, you can't get out of the way fast enough."

No fun allowed, opie.

lol nice man can't wait to see it on /r/Sup Forums

The thrill of the fight. I've got in contact with a local ranch owner on Craigslist. I told him I'm looking for a horse owner willing to film me take down a horse with some brass knuckles (we'll split the profits on the video to cover the horse funeral). He started laughing really hard and agreed so I'm gonna meet with him on Sunday.

I remember this thread

>you dont have invincible frames when you roll
>you dont gain back all of your stamina in seconds
>you cant just block if you need to, one horse kick is most likely knocking you out of the fight
>real things dont have a preprogrammed move list of what attacks they can do

Quality post 10\10

Humans absolutely can out-stamina horses. They just can't out-speed them.

Lel excellent I hope you get lots of upboats on le reddit!! xD

Horses are unpredictable and easily prone to weird and dangerous moves.

Did you ever stand next to a decently sized horse? it's fuck huge and will trample your ass. Their only real weak points are their legs and quess what; you won't get near their legs with brass knuckles.

Also don't even think about beating up horses, they're noble and lovely animals.

>People continue to ridicule me for this theory but never raise any valid concerns
i think you confuse people's inability to argue with you being correct

Well my advice would be to make sure that first punch counts, i.e. get it in the eye so it's half blind or something because you're probably going to lose otherwise.

horse but hole

+137

>Punch horse
>It naturally runs off

Now if you smack it or brand it while behind the horse and the horse is either held by a halter or is in a stall, you're asking for death.

I would love to argue against you, but not as much as I would love to see "user mauled to death by horse" in the news tomorrow.
Have fun, user.

You idiots just don't get it.
>muh iframes! when you roll, you can't be hurt - real life isn't like that!
You're not rolling UNDER the attacks - you're rolling out of the way. Even so, there was a guy who beat every boss in DS3 without dodging, rolling, or parrying, (you can find him on Youtube) and I assume the same is possible in DS1. So if you just go fully naked, you could sprint from every attack and wait for the perfect safe moments to get in a few hits here and there. You should still roll out of the way of charge attacks. Sure, the DS player is avoiding telegraphed and consistent attack patterns, while the horse is less predictable - but the horse still has its limits and can be exploited with a similar mindset.

OP you're correct in saying that it's possible to beat up a horse but
>And it's hard to see how a smart and patient gamer isn't a horse's worst nightmare
is straight up wrong because the first time you fight a horse he will extremely likely destroy you. The second time as well. And the third time. However, unlike in Dark Souls, losing fights in real life gives you permanent debuffs or death so you can't really keep trying forever.
Given that there's infinite universes and all that, in some of those you will win. But that's probably not happening in this one.

>are stupid
That's why they're so dangerous to humans. They're fucking retarded so you can't expect them to act rationally. The only thing more dangerous than a trained fighter is an untrained fighter.

>not using visceral attacks on horse, but hole

Horses are far less telegraphed than Souls bosses, you don't have i-frames so dodging won't work as well, and you can't block getting trampled.

Horses are actually huge cunts irl.

>Punch horse
>Run away
>Expect the horse not to do the same

IRL dodge rolls don't have i-frames

>Consistent attack patterns
There was no consistency my whole playthrough of DS1. Those attacks were erratic as fuck and sometimes ended up being the most powerful/annoying attack spammed 10 times in a row. Then it's back to weird shit.

Natural Instincts > Controlled AI

There are too many variables in real life that makes it impossible to make you come out of it with a 100% win rate.

You plan to go meet some drunk redneck farmer, and punch his wife in the face? IF you somehow start winning he'll jump in and fight you also

>Humans absolutely can out-stamina horses.
Maybe A human could, but not humans in general. You stupid fuck.

Horse Pussy

>the horse has great tracking abilities! it's not just attacking a predetermined spot!
The horse is limited by its vision and can't hurt you if it doesn't know where you are. While a DS boss doesn't even need to have you in its line of sight to know you're directly behind it (and attack accordingly), the horse needs to know you're behind it before it tries to kick. If you can surprise it, you can punch it from behind and then roll out of the way of the kick -- you'll have to be fast, but you could do it.Then just repeat the trick of hitting it in the face and hitting it from behind and rolling away. The horse won't be smart enough to recognize that you're repeating this trick in the fight.

Are you fucking retarded?

>not rolling through intersections

Nah, most humans in regular shape (not overweight, not smoking) could. It's one of the only things humans are good at.

Nigga if you punch a horse from behind your ribs won't like it

And no you wouldn't be able to dodge it in time

>He can't handle minions
Pussy.

>The only thing more dangerous than a trained fighter is an untrained fighter.
The stupidity in this sentence is about on par with this whole retarded thread. Good job.

>get boss to 50% health
>he summons allies
Fucking bullshit

Youve never seen a horse kick. Its very fast and they are unpredictable as fuck

>Roll
There is a very good reason people do not dodge roll irl.

Mate, the moment the start fight, the horse is going to spaz the fuck out and you won't be able to get anywhere near it. Then the fight will end in 15 seconds, with either the horse running away, you dead or the horse having injured itself.

> implying this wouldn't be in my favour
humans with skeleton powers is OP, so fucking OP god had to cover our skeletons with flesh which is much weaker.
we still managed to beat all the casual scrubs on this planet though.

Only over long periods of times under intense heat.
You are not fighting this horse over the course of several hours in Africa.

Yes. Getting struck by a bucking horse will incapacitate you if not straight up kill you.

Nigga, are you serious? You are severely underestimating them. If the horse doesn't know you're there somehow and you suddenly smack it, it'll only do one of two things
>Jolt forward because you spooked it
>Kick back into your ribs faster than you can even begin to turn or move
Horses are so damn fast that they can preemptively move in the direction to block other animals. In cow roping they do that all the damn time.
>Cow moves to left
>Horse is already there before cow is 1/4th of the way

You can't beat up a horse. It's not even a case of being able to dodge it's kicks and headbutts.

The reality is that your punches and kicks will do jackshit against it. You'd sooner fracture bones in your hand/foot than cause any lasting damage. The most you could do is cripple it's eyes, but even then - have fun getting to them and staying on for long enough to do anything.

The horse could pretty easily run INTO you and just trample over you

Your reaction times are NOT fast enough to dodge that and since you don't know what the horse is thinking you cant plan out a dodge because of AI patterns or something

I honestly think you'd have an easier time killing a wolf 1 on 1 than a horse

so many horses posting itt

>people actually taking OP seriously
Pic related, it's him

It's actually 100% true.
Trained fighters mostly train to prepare for known scenarios and to avoid injuring themselves.
Untrained fighters are completely unpredictable (negating what the trained fighters train for) and are likely to injure themselves doing weird fucking moves, making them that much more unpredictable.
Trained fighters are dangerous to others, untrained fighters are dangerous to everyone around them, including themselves.

This.
Skeletons are extremely powerful individuals. No one can beat me in a fight

>I honestly think you'd have an easier time killing a wolf 1 on 1 than a horse
Absolutely, a wolf's greatest strength is its pack. A wolf would still fuck you up though.

That horse mocks you. Do you hear the neighing? More like naying! That horse says no to you. The horse is the man of the house. You are the horse. Clop clop! Trot about to your dingy office, little horsey. Your wife kisses her husband-horse when you can't see. And then again when you can. She buys it shoes, finer than any you'll own. Its metal feet crush your soul. "This horse is now man!" it exclaims. "I am defeated!" you cry. The horse has beat you. Soon you'll be in the stall, eating dry, bland grasses, while the majestic Horseband ferries your wife about town. "Oh!" the city folk shall say as they drop to their knees as their muscles fail them at the sight of such a couple. "The horse is such a man!" they weep as they tear out their eyes, knowing they'll never see such beauty again. Your wife and the HorseGod shall laugh and eat gold together. Ha ha! And your tears shall be blood as you shrivel and turn to dust, forgotten in that stall outside the city where the HORSE is now Emperor Of All and Lover Of One. The citizens will genuflect before the great beast, paying whatever tithe the Hoofed One demands, be it of coin or flesh. The people will rejoice to do so, as their Great and Benevolent Equine shall make their crops plenty, and their lives ever long. The rotten stall shall collapse on your worm-eaten bones, and none shall remember a whit about you. Except the UrHorse, the original horse, who shall shed no tear, but blink in bitter recollection of that brief time he had to endure you.

Do not let this come to be. Shoot that horse. With your Glock. Eat its meat. Make a horse stew. Turn its bones into glue, and use it to glue the skull to your wall. Use its hooves to make a tasteless gelatin to encase its eyes in. Do it. Be the man of the house, not the man of the horse.

...

>the horse is dangerous from the front AND back! its rear kick is its deadliest attack!
You know what else is dangerous from its front and back? Flexile Sentry from DS2. Guess what, players beat that all the time without taking damage. Just adopt the same strategy - you wait for one side to get tired, get in a few hits, and let it rotate. Rinse and repeat. Flexile is one of the easiest bosses in the game, so this isn't an argument-killer.

>Sup Forums is literally debating beating up a horse based on videogame logic
I don't know how many layers of irony some of these posts are caked in, but it wouldn't surprise me if some are serious. Why the Fuck do I come to this board?

Even if we disregard the horse's agility and power, how the fuck do you plan to beat it with brass knuckes?
You'd need a better weapon.

As cool as it sounds, I don't think any sane person would try that, nor could dodge all of its eventual attacks.
Please user follow this

Here's the scenario

-You and a bear are in a wooded area, about 1.5 miles wide

-Either you or the bear must die within 3 days or you both will die

-The bear knows the previous rule and is actively trying to hunt you

-You are dropped into the area 4 hours before the bear is released to the furthest point away from you in that area as possible


Can you win?

Because you hate yourself.

Because you hope for a trap thread?

You are absolutely more than welcome to leave faggot.

Because you love this.

All you need is enough strength to break through its tough bones. The brass knuckles are just so the horse breaks before your hands. Everything else is just a matter of human ingenuity.

Assuming you do beat the horse, what's the next step? Will you go on a journey 1v1'ing all kinds of different animals?

Make multiple javelins and spears, poke the bear to death.

I'd probably be dead before the bear is even released. 4 hours in unknown woods, panicked and scrambling to find something to survive is probably enough to seriously injure most people.

you can't beat up a horse because they don't have a programmed IA that will act the same consistently with the same tells and actions.

Honestly if you truly believe this you are so far gone and off from reality that I would suggest getting a therapist.

Traveling around the world, user goes to pick fights with random critters like an Aussie and jam his brass knuckles up its ass

Do I get a katana?

No.
Your only hope would be making a trap or weapon, but even disregarding that I'm a useless individual who doesn't know how to do either, I don't think you can make anything that can take down a fucking bear using only random forest shit in 4 hours.

The OP implies it's a fairly fit person.
Brass knuckles do not turn bone into butter.

Can I climb on top of a tree, hide and wait for the bear to die of dehidration?

Laugh all you want, but a Katana is pretty fucking good against flesh and bone. I would take one if I weren't given a decent long ranged option.

a stronger weapon would result in the fight becoming imbalanced in terms of how balanced a boss fight in souls usually is for the average first playthrough character
i'd put a horse on about the same level as iron golem

Find a cleared area and start a forest fire and hope the bear dies.

>dig a hole
>sharpen sticks
>put the sticks in the hole
>bear falls in hole and gets stabbed the fuck up
>throw some big fucking boulder on the bear
>stick it with a spear from outside the hole

There you go