>And because it's so cool, it pains me to say that Geralt might be the lamest protagonist I've ever controlled. I know. He's got those scars and that white hair, and all of the characters around him are idiots in comparison to him. But every interaction that Geralt has with a woman who isn't screaming "THAT SWAMP BEASTIE STOLE ME HUSBAND AND ME CHEESES" is painful. Geralt eyefucks everything in a dress, and can't go a minute without uttering a sultry "Hmmm" grunt. And for someone who makes a big deal about wanting to get his wife back, all of Geralt's dialogue options fall into the category of "Fuck Now" or "Fuck Later."
>A cool thing in Red Dead Redemption was the fact that badass John Marston, when he wasn't shooting every misdemeanor factory in New Mexico and standing up against those who would eat babies, wanted nothing to do with the requisite prostitutes that Rockstar Games shoves into every project. Grand Theft Auto added countless ways to sleep with and then murder sex workers, because haha, I am 12 and sex is never. But John Marston had a moral code. Other main characters in the game would hit on John, and he'd tell them that while he was flattered, his dick should stay desolate for the time being. That's a cool character trait. Way better than Geralt "I love my wife but I'll send you a dick pic three sentences into the conversation" of Rivia.
>Sure, all the sleeping around kind of bites you in the ass in the end, but Geralt is such a wish-fulfillment character that Witcher III may as well be renamed That Girl In Your Accounting Class Is Secretly Super Into You As Well. When he doesn't bone, he gets just on the cusp of it, and all of the cleavage zoos in Novigrad pout about it. "Well, Geralt, you're missing out." And your only option is to continue with the assumption "God, I'm so cool. Married and all the ladies still want me."
Defend this, wish fulfillment nerds
Jackson Rodriguez
It's true. The Witcher series is sexist as fuck and doesn't belong in modern society.
Dylan Watson
what a fag
Joshua Reed
Kill yourself
Ian Collins
>geralt >wife
Kayden Jones
What a living cuckold
James Turner
>Cracked >Why be a poor man's Mad Magazine when you can be a poor man's Buzzfeed?
Angel Evans
>wanting to get his wife back
Since when the fuck were Geralt and Triss married?
Why is this emasculated faggot so anal about a fictional character, written to fit a certain narrative?
Was this cuck jealous of a virtual character, akin to fatties bitching about skinny characters?
I honestly can't comprehend how one can be such a faggot.
Charles Jackson
The lamest video game protagonist will always be Kratos "Eternal Temper Tantrum" McBaldface.
Andrew Miller
Kratos is great because he's not a numale (Geralt) or a cuckold (Marston)
Benjamin Howard
He has the mentality of a spoiled 5-year-old who can't get his way.
Andrew Jones
If you people are honestly upset about this at some point you have got to realize how inconsequential and petty this is. Do you even play video games?
Logan Carter
He wants to kill god, like many atheists do
Jayden Scott
He is now
Joseph Smith
Cracked has been trash for more than 10 years, the fact that you faggots still get triggered by this shit has moved beyond pathetic.
Colton Kelly
Holy shit fuck off you faggot.
Cameron Mitchell
> he's not a numale (Geralt)
How is he a numale?
marty sue would have been a better word.
Jacob Sanders
>Cracked
Jesus. That place just gets worse and worse as time goes on. What the fuck happened?
Ian Parker
>How is he a numale?
Have you seen his haircuts?
Samuel Johnson
We literally had this fucking thread just a few minutes ago. Fucking faggot ass mods need to start enforcing the rules against spam.
Grayson Long
One of the side effects of the Witcher mutations makes them irresistable to women, particularly sorceresses, who the books describe as feeling a mild electric shock when they touch the skin of a Witcher. Plus Witchers are inherantly sterile due to their mutations, which, in a society that is yet to invent contraception, could only be a bonus. Besides, most Witchers are big dick alpha male Chads who are ripped as fuck and have don't give a fuck attitudes. Not hard to see why the nobility is falling over themselves to get into their codpieces.
Gavin Bell
Not the worst point, but to be honest if we're saying Geralt is a shit protag based entirely on interactions with females then that's grade F fuckin' stupid. You've got a variety of ways to interact with characters in the game, regardless of gender, which effect outcomes in positive or negative ways. Be a cunt to Djikstra and I imagine the game gets a little less colourful, you have some influence on the throne of Skellige, Ciri's fate, whether you butcher Whoreson or not... it goes on. Am I missing the point? Is the article saying he's strictly a shit protag because of his other sex interactions?
Lincoln Martinez
>numale >cuckold
Can you stop parroting buzzwords you don't know, you fucking embarrassment? They are neither of those
Juan Reed
To be fair Marston could be considered a bit of a cuck, considering his wife was the gang bike before she married Marston
Parker Johnson
>Not the worst point You're a fucking retard mate. He thikis Yen is Geralt's wife, so he's either a complete retard or he hasn't played the game.
Isaac Morales
...
Jaxon Rivera
>Cracked STOP
Liam Wright
Kratos was fine in the first one. He just wanted revenge at Ares for his harmless prank.
William Brown
Is this the new Bioware marketing tactic? Post shitty articles attacking the competition?
William Jenkins
>EVERYTHING THAT DOESN'T AGREE WITH ME IS LITERALLY BIOWARE
kek
Connor Martinez
Geralt just has a sorceress fetish, he can't help it
