Chick at work: "Hey, you play video games yeah?"
Me: "Ye."
Her: "You going to get the Nintendo Switch?"
Me: "Um yeah I'll go buy that right after I go pick up the new 'Psy' album from JB Gay Fi."
Her: "I'm really disappointed you're still using the word gay as a derogatory term in 2017."
Me: "How about you nintenDONT talk to me anymore and I nintenDO SWITCH my spot in the office so I nintenDONT have to look at you anymore?"
Her: "Women make you nervous don't they?"
Me: "....no."
Her: "You only act like this when female co-workers talk to you, you're like 26 years old? What happened to you?"
Me: "... my first girlfriend really belittled me in our relationship and it was the first time I ever had ever opened up to anyone, let alone interacted with a girl, and I guess ever since then I've just always acted like this to avoid that ever happening again..."
Her: "I never knew... I'm sorry that happened to you."
Me: "...yeah thanks heaps, I'm sorry for how I've behaved towards you in the past."
Her: "Hey don't worry about it, do you want to come get some drinks with us after to work tonight?"
Me: "That would be great."
Her: "Yeah it would be wouldn't it? Too bad I'm JOKING. The last thing we wan't is your Nintendo LAMEboy ass being seen in with us.
Me: "Don't do this."
Her: "Legend of Zelda: Breath of the YOU HAVE BAD BREATH."
Me: "Awful."
Her: "Fatoon, as in, Splatoon, but you're fat."
Me: "Worse."
Her: "World of Warcraft Wrath of the Bitch King."
Me: "Better but not a Nintendo game."
Her: *Begins shaking uncontrollably, falls off her office chair."
Me: *Grabs her in my arms as she falls* "Are you ok?? What's happening!?!"
Her: *Unconscious*
Me: *Begins shaking her, desperately trying to resuscitate her, tears in my eyes* "Wake up damnit! Wake up!"
Her: *Eyes slowly opening*
Me: "What happened!? Are you ok!?
Her: "...yeah... yeah I think so... I just realised something..."
Me: "What!?"
Her: "....I'm gay"
Me: "yeah, so am I."
*We make out*
