What is he thinking

what is he thinking

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How to jew us out of more money so he can finally build his Donut Palace.

Who is that

"Why am I here again?"

"Oh right, the games".

fuck your e-celeb shit

/thread

>John Goodman
>e-celeb
kys yourself

This.

He went from "the friendly nerd" look to bitter businessman.

fpbp

Why am I so fat

I get the feeling Gabe stopped liking video games a long time ago, and now he just wants money.

Just imagine the huge monster he must be packing in his trousers

is valve a private company

FAT!

"how could I possibly ruin gaming even further today? oh, I know! paid patches"

Paid mods.

>Steam Machines failed
>SteamOS failed
>Steam controllers failed
>Paid mods failed

>"Why don't we make a new video game, Gabe?"

...

If he can bribe the McDonalds down the street to give him full access to their food storage.

surely you meant money. not games

>i wonder what were having for lunch

>I could fund HL3, or I could buy 3 million hamburgers

>"Why don't we make a new video game, Gabe?"
GET OUT
GET OUT YOU FOKIN DONKEY
WE'RE CLOSING THE INDUSTRY

>steam controllers failed
by what fucking metric?
there are 10 year olds who understand how to use the steam controller. not working on hl3 is a big mistake.

Not him but,

>"I should buy Nexus mods"

>when did everything became so boring? When did everything go so wrong?
>oh, yeah, the moment I started to earn tons of money by doing absolutely nothing

>The burgers- THE BURGERS!

Steam Machines/SteamOS didn't fail, it did exactly what Valve wanted: threaten a Linux game surge and therefore prevent Microsoft from pushing the Windows Store as a game retailer.

It's intracompany politics. 'You stay off my turf or else', etc.

"how can I get those dumbfucks to accept paying for mods"

>turning right for half an hour

Was this playtester DSP?

Yeah this desu senpai

underrated

>poorbabies still triggered by paid mods
Your time is over leecher scum.

>I wish I was at home, playing TF2

I wonder if Valve has one of those "days since..." signs in the office somewhere that says "days since someone asked about Half-Life 3."

I want a hamburger...no, a cheeseburger or maybe both, yeah.

>You goyim are creatures that are no different than lifestock.

"...pepperoni or hawaiian?"

On the left? John Petrucci

>"How will I get people to pay for sex mods?"

This
Valve backing linux was a huge threat to M$

>"SHOW NO MERCY TO THE GOYIM...FOR HE IS AN ANIMAL IN HUMAN FORM WHO EXISTS SOLELY TO SERVE US"

Can you give me a brief rundown on this guy?

Is this why steam machines are bad? Because valve couldn't bother to make them actually good and stuff?

if valve got away with their paid mod schemes, I bet we would be seeing 60 dollar mod packs by now, including the 120 dollar sex lab mod pack

need mo money fo dem knives

>what is he thinking
God i wish we'd made Overwatch

damn he looks old

If they were actually trying to kill Windows they would do real production runs of Steam Machines with bulk purchases of hardware, making the price comparable to game consoles with better performance and open-endedness

Right now there are just no steam machines being built so prices are bad

someone needs to make a Gabe edit

youtube.com/watch?v=w96oTapYTKk

>linux
>even close to relevant

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH good one Sup Forums

"My health is declining and all I have to show for is a great franchise that I quit working on, introducing the biggest jewery in this world and trying to make community created mods cost money"

>"Some of our most childish employees wore HL3 shirts to GDC lol"

Nah, more like why Overwatch isn't on Steam so they could get free money

...

Sadly this.

why does he always look so miserable? he's a fucking billionaire

>
What's Valve's tax policy?

He's not allowed to enjoy the money. He's a workaholic on an eternal treadmill of making more and more money.

Also, whether he lets it on or not, being disliked affects him

>"How will I get people to pay for sex mods?"

>I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

>they told me there was going to be fondue at this meeting...

>He's a workaholic
I think you actually have to work in order to be considered a workaholic.

I like how Sup Forums talks all this shit online but if they saw Gabe IRL they would be on their knees stammering and wanting to shake his hand.

no.

This, I think its hilarious u kids talking about Gabe. u wouldnt say this stuff to him at Valve HQ, hes JACKED. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol

>I hope he won't ask me about paid mods
>I hope he won't ask me about paid mods
>I hope he won't ask me about paid mods
Half-Life 3 t-shirts

>my ass hurts
>this seat is too small
>I wish I were at home looking at my knives

Because he is a millionaire. Those people kill and hire assassins like they eat candy.

>those people kill and hire assassins like they eat candy

????

Is Gaben a reptilian archon?

No, actually I'd probably not say anything, just stare at him with shade.

If I did speak to him I would confront him about his hypocrisy in a polite way.

Bro are you actually retarded? We aren't talking about understanding them, they were a commercial failure and no one uses them.

So Gabe Newell. Do you still care about videogames?

" fuck this shit i could be playing video games right now"

Maybe 8 or 9 years ago yeah.

I seriously doubt Gabe plays anything anymore.

Billionaire

Apparently he plays Dota 2, no wonder he hates video games now.

S-sorry Gabe didn't meant to offend. Please don't kill me.

*internally* "I'm hungry..."

Did he say that recently? I just can't fathom him actually playing games these days.

so, no one likes gay ben anymore right?

>He's a workaholic
No you've got it confused, hes a PORKaholic

Yes, in his recent AMA

>AMA

how long ago?

I wouldn't be edgy or harass him, I'd just ask if he think he's changed as a person since the days of HL2.

>implying he dosnt save his shekels by raiding the McDumpster

...

Internal Gabe Dialogue
>oh shit, is he wearing a wire
>let me just answer with the most PR-friendly response in case he's gonna post this online

"Of course not! I love video games even more today than I did ten years ago!"

>excuse me old man, have you changed at all in the past 13 years
Gee, I wonder.

>Sales are final
Not so fast

A month ago

I hold your steam library in my hands.

Is it the hair that made him evil?

That's the point. Obviously he has changed, but asking is a non-confrontational way to make him reflect on that.

no they've been nationalised

And all the other hours of his life he isn't introspective? You aren't the shining ray of redemption illuminating his life. You're the cunt stopping him in the grocery store with some half-assed 2deep4u question just because you don't want paid mods.

Thats a lot of dollaros