Go to Getastop

>Go to Getastop
>Ask shopkeeper for latest woodblock press of すぱまりぶろ
>He gives me his last copy
>Pay him one Ryō
>Receive 1800 mon in change
>Drop all the coins as I was putting them on my string
>Udon falls out of my pockets as I'm picking them up
>Pick up what I could, then hurry out of the shop
>Look at my woodblock
>It's a fucking leaf
>Turn around
>Shopkeeper was a fucking tanooki
>He knocks me out with his balls and flees
>Wake up
>Staring a Kappa in the face.
>Forgot my protective cucumber
>Get dragged into the river and drowned
>Forget to recite death haiku

FUCKING GETASTOP

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youtube.com/watch?v=EflHHVROiSs
youtube.com/watch?v=nZQzuxEJl-4
twitter.com/AnonBabble

wouldn't it be スッパマリオー instead?

Kana hadn't been invented yet.

rororororo

o ok

>be japanese
>get sudoku

yoooh, westurn piggu geimu puramaaa man.

>teach Karate
>students foor around too much
>they aracka disraprin
>next ninja virrage next door attacks
>all my students die
it was most dishonorabre, I played Mystical Ninja starring Goemon for the 64 and loved the giant robot fights

>come home from monk school
>sister is hogging the screen

可愛い妖怪娘が無い悲しい気持ち

Who was in the wrong here?

youtube.com/watch?v=EflHHVROiSs

>shit on the floor
>get my shitty nuts mauled by a racoon
>unsheathe my wakazashi and cerimoniously remove my own penis
>grill it for dinner
Fucking Getastop

I love the ambient sounds outside when travering on the highway
youtube.com/watch?v=nZQzuxEJl-4

>that kid who would get mad and commit sudoku

...

YOOOOOOoooooOOOooo

>racoon
>not tanuki

sudoku time senpai

>Gets culturally enriched and dominated by big Americans with their aircraft carriers and guns

doushio

Never let a tanuki into your home, those things are nasty and never introduce them to your sister, shit gets crazy

Damn... You're good

>go to edoshop
>get tsujigiri'd by a samurai on the way
>my guts start falling out of my pocket
>as I'm dying in my own pile of blood I give thanks to Bishamonten for letting me die with honor

>Walk to crossroad
>Samurai comes out
>Bow to him
>I am too tall, my bow was not low enough
>Draws blade and kills me to test sharpness
Such is life in great Japan

>dad kills my mom
>orders me to kill myself afterwards
fucking tokugawastop

if then you can still write O or U instead of hyphens, unless you meant to abbreviate the word then whatever.

teh only good tanuki

whats going on here

some days some knights thats a weaaawa samurai

>be samurai
>filthy christian westaboos try to take my million-times folded katana away
>commit seppuku to protest their dishonor of my bushido

That will show them.

...

>Be Samurai
>Realize that your Daiymo is going to make you commit seppuku any day now
>Convert to Christianity and explain to his that Piety outranks Honor so I can't kill myself because it will bring great impiety to my clan and much shame
It's like a get out of seppuku free card.

But you lose your honor. You might as well commit seppuku just for that.

WHOS THAT POKEY MAN

>Daimyo dies
>too beta to seppuku
>I ronin now
>samurais spit on me
>even peasants dont bow
great dishonor!

>No riches
>No honor
>No piety
>no gf
why live? Just to pick rice, smoke opium and play Sudoku?

>I go to gamestop
>Behind counter, a cute girl
>Much spaghetti spills

>Even peasants don't bow
Damn dude

97/100

>even peasants dont bow
Not even seppuku can save you now.

...

>>even peasants dont bow
Unacceptable!

>Hide Power Level
>"Wow haha, us gamers huh?"
>The cake is a lie

You're pretty good!

>go to Kabukiplex
>have to wait in line for the Geisha dispensary
>when I get there they're all out
>walk up to the entrance to the courtyard
>guard asks where my Geisha is
>reuses entry due to "No Singles Policy"
>can't even go to the concessions stand for my steamed rice balls and crabs legs
>get attacked by a flock of falcons on the way back to my village

underrated

no kigo bitches

>walk down road to Gookstop
>get robbed by samurai on the way there
>no money to buy game
>godzilla kills my family while I'm out
>miss my Gundam battle
>commit seppuku
>tfw no honor
Such is life as Japanese

Latest releases
from artisans I once loved
all of them are bad

>there will never be a medieval japan dark souls

don't give nioh crap.

>Open Doritos
>Mountain Dew fizzles
>Lone basement

>Ralph pls go
>no

you got me, well played.

WHY THE FUCK GEMUSTOP REFUSE TO SELL ME 戦闘負荷.
Everytime i ask they tell me to shut the fuck up.

>Wake up to frogs
>beautiful sunny day out
>visit message board

I enter gamestop,
See her, and fireworks appear,
As does spaghetti

>Local seafood keeps molesting wife
>Woodland critter has bigger balls than you
>Brigands keep raiding your farm
>Local lord takes your daughter
>Water yokai jams finger up your butt
Takeshi had a warui life.

>this fucking thread

Sup Forums hasn't made me laugh this hard in a while

>mfw for the 10th time this month I spent half my daily pay at the sake stall
>mfw i keep dropping my rice before i can rehydrate it
>mfw Mizumi turned down my invitation to view the sakura trees
>mfw I saw her with Akira

I can't do it anymore, anons.

Hello fuedalpostere's, I am Gal. I come from future where we dark skin and drink alcohol and have consensual sex with concubine. We suffer from earthquake that release evil gas into air in year of the Christ 2011(Christ very big now) wish me luck, am tanning now

Just go to 2ch and copy some posts

>all these fucking eruoboos jerking off over their precious dutch imports

Are they doing these kind of thread though?

Akira here, commit seppuku yowamushi

before you kill yourself, have you seen a samurai that smells of sunflower?

Wry can't foreign devil make pletti gurr kyara?

I doubt anyone could be assed to do manyogana.

>go pay respect to river goddess
>kappa steal my liver
>hear "kipety kap" while she scurry away with it in hands

I think she like me bros, maybe i could revisit when my liver grows again

fucking weabos

t.alberto barbosa explorer from portugal and the holy church

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

much better

>Portuguese コッポ set poorly translated as かぷ

fucking fell

At least it's better than back before the Tokugawa took over and half the country couldn't stop jerking off over the Jesuits

Holy fuck this thread
did I found gold?
I can't fucking breath

>Return home and there's an oni cooking you a dinner
Wat do

buy katana guide they sell for cheap at edostop.

>mfw Americans roll in with big ships and cannons trying to steal our exclusives
GAIJIN LEAVE

>gurr
your gurr has a katana between her regs

>Sun rise, I fap
>sun middle of sky, I fap
>moon shines, I fap

>americans
>medieval japan

lol american education

That real gurr

Gaijin piggu go home.

Fucking baka

ODA NOBUNAGA SUCK COCKS FOR RICE

Remind me when feudalism ended.

t. Mitsuhide

Don't hit on me silly bozu.

WHO SAY THAT
I FUCK YOU BIG TIME
CUT YOU IN HALF
FUCKING PEASANTS
れえええええええええええええ

It's a kawaii wakizashi

>Go to the clearing of the forest to take some sun
>Take the opportunity to brush my numerous tails
>Some kid watches me from the bush
>He pulls off his little mushroom and starts to play with it furiously
>I inform him that i am infact a male
>He does it even harder

Don't you humans got respect and/or offerings anymore?

Oda Nobunaga was a proud and noble man who revolutionised our military doctrine, medicine, and fortification building techniques with the graceful teaching of the wonderous soldiers of God. You would do well to pay him respect.

t. Not a Jesuit

Damn, Japs have been exaggerating proportions since ancient times

>i-i get erection from just starring at his feminine dick
>doushio

>Muromachi period (1333–1568)

Fucking american education i swear

You're in the dojo and this guy slaps your sensei's ass. What do you do?