Jesus christ, Breath of the Wild sucks

Now that you've spent $300 on the WiiU2 just to play a shitty cel-shaded Elder Scrolls clone, maybe it's time that you came to terms with how much the game actually sucks. And no, I didn't buy the game because I don't buy shitty games, and yes, I do get to judge it because streaming is a thing and I have two eyes.

- Traditional dungeons are gone. They are replaced with "shrines" that offer up fast-food attractions with no substance and worthless rewards.

- Shrines themselves are all copy-pasted and have very few aesthetic differences, basically like shitty Oblivion dungeons.

- The voice acting is fucking atrocious, don't even try to defend it. Legitimately worse than Zelda CDI.

- The HUD looks like it was designed in MSPaint. Opacity, white lines, just pathetic. It is only outdone in ugliness by vanilla Skyrim, which coincidentally bares a striking resemblance.

- Climbing is a fucking retarded mechanic that has no place in the game. It adds nothing. It almost always boils down to holding up on the analog stick for two minutes until you reach where you want to go. Wow.

- Stamina meter. Enough said.

- All those cool weapons you get from those repetitive shrines? Yeah, they break and you throw them away. Great incentive.

- Link has been purposely made to look as androgynous as possible so that both male and female players can relate more easily. This results in the first binary-gender Link with a man-bun, no muscle mass, a female face and the ability to wear female clothing.

- The final boss is the biggest joke in the series.

I'd say that about sums it up. Now tell me more about how this game is a 10/10.

>Traditional dungeons are gone.

It's refreshing to do a dungeon and not get told how a key works every five seconds.

you are like one month late for the shitposting

Is seeing the same dungeon palettes and repetitive obstacles refreshing, too?

What makes you think this is my first time, cowboy?

>no, I didn't buy the game because I don't buy shitty games, and yes, I do get to judge it because streaming is a thing and I have two eyes

You must work at Kotaku

> implying Kotaku writers have good taste in games

Don't forget the four actual dungeons, each which take place within the colon of robotic animals.

Sure, beats Forest Temple Fire Temple Water Temple Ice Temple Wind Temple like they do every single other game.

>the game actually sucks
>no, I didn't buy the game
>streaming

Everything I see about this game makes it look like a medieval farcry clone. Farcry is a shitty game to begin with, why would I waste time on this?

You're conveniently forgetting the fact that the temples always look different, unlike the shrines which are pretty much identical.

This is the saddest post I've seen on Sup Forums this year.
And I don't even like the Switch

I couldn't agree more, user.

So in other words, you're butthurt by legitimate flaws. Okay.

They always look the same. Zelda dungeons were becoming NSMB tier rehash.

The problem with the BotW dungeons isn't their looks, it's that their still dumb Aonuma puzzle shitholes.

All of the dungeons should have been like Hyrule Castle.

T. Anons opinion that gets disregarded by anyone who has played this game
(you)

What is it about breath of the wild that draws so many autists to bitch about it every day? Is it just because it's from Nintendo?

Okay, so since you've played it and obviously have a more informed opinion, please direct me towards what I said that isn't correct, user.

> hate Nintendo game
> must be autistic
Boy is that ironic

Keep bumping yourself fag. Sage.

It's your opinion the post
You can't have a correct opinion but you can have uninformed ones, if you hate this game, oh well get over it.

If by "same" you mean similar color palettes, I guess? Obviously two forest-themed levels are going to have similar colors, aside from that, they are always different.

And I would argue that both the shitty puzzles AND looks are an issue with the dungeons.

>repetitive obstacles
what does that even mean

> Obstacle: a thing that blocks one's way or prevents or hinders progress.
> containing or characterized by repetition, especially when unnecessary or tiresome.
Do you understand now?

>food analogy in the first bulletpoint

Jesus, user.

no you just copied the dictionary
give real life examples

I guess I missed the memo were describing something cheap, easy and substance-less as "fast food" suddenly became faux pas.

Yes, I copied the dictionary because you seem to be suffering from a peculiar type of spectrum disorder where you can't process a simple sentence without being utterly confused. The puzzles are repetitive, the dungeon designs and repetitive, that is: there isn't enough variation in what you do and see within shrines. Is that simpler to understand now?

>and yes, I do get to judge it because streaming is a thing
You're supposed to save this for the end, throwing out your best bait like that at the beginning ensures that no one is going to bother reading the rest of your post. 4/10, see me after class.

Nigga, I bought it on Wii U.

As some one who prefers Mario over zelda I'm glad the dungeons are gone.

They were just padding and filler for every linear zelda game.

I love how botw gives you all the items you'd get from dungeons at the beginning and just tasks you to explore and have fun. That's something that elder scrolls haven't had since morrowind.

portal is repetitive too though because it always looks the same and you're always making portals

That's actually more confusing, because what you said was "repetitive obstacles", and none of the puzzles in dungeons felt repetitive at all.

This is some extreme baiting user, I'm almost impressed

>- Link has been purposely made to look as androgynous as possible so that both male and female players can relate more easily. This results in the first binary-gender Link with a man-bun, no muscle mass, a female face and the ability to wear female clothing.

Is this supposed to be bad feature? I mean..

If you're a homosexual I guess it's a great feature.

Doesn't suck, not perfect.
I enjoy how many ways there are to do things. World is pretty. Music is decent, but more forgettable than previous zelda titles.
Writing and voice acting both are pretty bad. Climbing is atrocious especially with the weather system. Gets repetitive and is too easy.

7.75/10

Only the best.

Okay OP you're being contrarian and we're sooo upset. Ebin!

There's nothing gay about wanting to fug Link

Link doesn't have a pussy dude, although I couldn't blame you for thinking that based on his new character design.

>The HUD looks like it was designed in MSPaint. Opacity, white lines, just pathetic.
You can't do opacity on MS Paint.

2/10, made me reply

>over a month since release
>still being this absolutely shitter shattered
wew fuckin lad

You can

> implying a month is a long time
> implying the game doesn't suck
> implying I would actually play shitty Sony games instead of this piece of shit

hahahaha could you be more mad?
Did Miyamoto fuck your mom or something?

There is literally, LITERALLY nothing gay about jerking off Link's feminine penis while you rail him in the ass.

I'm not mad, I'm furious. Furious that I have to live on the same space rock as the delusional autists that enjoy this homosexual romp through cel-shade land.

...

Played it. Dropped after second dungeon. Having a giant mechanical animal as a dungeon really got me excited because I thought it would be the boss. Turned out to be a huge waste of potential. Just doing a small mini-game like objective before entering a bland looking dungeon with a shitty boss that is way more underwhelming that the Beast it inhabits put me off for the rest of the game.

Also people can play this on cemu. I played this on Wii U, but just letting you know the people who played this expanded so your "didn't play it" argument is pretty worthless now.

> I agree the game sucks
> your argument is worthless

But he's right. Loving girly boy isn't gay.

WiiU emulation is the fucking pits you sad dyke.

...

I played it on CEMU and it's very average.
A gigantic open world full of nothing but repetitive shrines that all feel and look the same and some of the dumbest boss fights in Zelda history and yet it's praised for being almost the best game ever? Fuck no just overrated garbage like the last two Zelda once again.

Zelda puzzles are good and Zelda combat is nothing special. Why do you people want to get rid of the good bit?

Pretty much. The sheltered cows who rally around this game are convinced that Nintendo has somehow reinvented the sandbox RPG while simultaneously emulating every generic design choice that these games have implemented for 20 years and not even managing to do them very well. A more focused, linear design and real dungeons were all that set the series apart from its competitors, now it's no different than every other shitty open world game on the market. A true disappointment.

...

Because they don't like actual Zelda games. They don't want dungeons and limited but meaningful items and rewards, they want to run around a giant grass field playing with rocks and collecting 1000 pointless items. That's the current state of the industry for you.

Hey, even reggie admitted he's hot

>I didn't buy the game

They should give him a broader chest, like those faggot pirates in Wind Waker. Then you wouldn't be able to masturbate to him as easily.

Nah it was amazing. There were some definite problems, the "dungeons" and hilarious voice acting being the biggest issues, but they didn't do enough to make me dislike how incredible an experience the entire thing was.

> Yes OP, I realize that your points are valid
> Yes OP, I realize streaming the game is almost identical to actually playing it
> Yes OP, I admit that I'm a salty cunt because you insulted my precious Nintendo game

It's not cell shaded, you dumb faggot.

>tfw no tall bf ;-;

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............................

Yeah it is.

>I realize streaming the game is almost identical to actually playing it
This is not true for any game.

Define cell shaded for me, faggot.

Already beat it on CEMU, didn't pay a cent :^)

>I realize streaming the game is almost identical to actually playing it

>Link has been purposely made to look as androgynous as possible so that both male and female players can relate more easily. This results in the first binary-gender Link with a man-bun, no muscle mass, a female face and the ability to wear female clothing
This is OBJECTIVELY a good thing.

A rendering process that utilizes flat gradients and shadows to give a game a less realistic, more cartoon-like appearance, often used to mask the graphical imperfections encountered when working with an outdated graphics engine. And it's cel shading, not "cell shading" you degenerate nigger.

>- Traditional dungeons are gone. They are replaced with "shrines" that offer up fast-food attractions with no substance and worthless rewards.
>- Shrines themselves are all copy-pasted and have very few aesthetic differences, basically like shitty Oblivion dungeons.

I never get tired of these posts because you clearly have never played the game, as the shrines are all constantly different from each other sans a handful of the Blessing/Test of Strengths.

It goes to show how out-of-touch and desperate shit posters are.

this is blue board user

> implying the shrines aren't total shit and are actually vastly different when they really aren't

I think this is actually the most butthurt I've seen about a game since Undertale.

are you mad cus mommy didn't buy the game for you kid?

Oh great it's THIS faggot again. And I know it's you, you cum gargling homo, because of the layout and "enough said".

seriously, are you so starved of attention in real life that (you) collecting and salty irrelevant replies are a worthy substitute for actual human interaction?

OP, you ugly little rent boy, what are three of your favourite games of last year? You have two opportunities to respond rather than deflect or you're openly admitting you love the feeling if cock invading your body.

Three games, go.

Then show me two of them that are, "copy pasted" and aren't different besides the blessings and tests of strength. Because I can easily show you 30 that are completely different from each other that don't even use remotely the same mechanics.

On a scale of 1-10, how hard would you penetrate this character's rectum?

Breath of the Wild has legitimate criticisms and you listed none of them, barring Shrines which you only make fun of instead of actually addressing any issues that could be solved.

> I memorize the posting habits of users that trigger me and then make demands the outcome of which determines your sexuality, but you're starved for attention, not me.

The electric ones seem to be make circuit boards the shrines.

Legend of Zelda then
>Link, an elf hero, gets the Master Sword and Silver Arrow to kill the Orc's warlord, Ganon, and rescue Zelda (i still don't understand why you needed the arrow to hurt Ganon) and there's a Fairy Queen who provides Hearts for money because she's a greedy little bitch

Legend of Zelda now
>there's some fat-assed midget and Ganon is a tall handsome rugged human and Link proves there ARE NO MALE ELVES because now he's practically turning into a girl and the Master Sword can break and the Fairy Queen is a cockhungry slut voiced by Felicia Day

I think I actually remember you too, user. You asked me to list my four favorite games or said that my opinion was invalid. This seems to be something of a recurring autism with you, no?

you got BURNT THE FUCK OUT

...

That's 1.

Also: it's a matter of interpretation. Either one has to believe I sieve all of my time analysing posts for speech patterns to berate samefags - a task that is pretty much impossible on Sup Forums; or you make this same thread over and over again to the point were it's recognised at all times of day.

I think it's pretty clear which is more likely.


What are those three games, faggot? Or do you just stream everything now to try and fit in

>i still don't understand why you needed the arrow to hurt Ganon
Because according to the first game's manual in both Japanese and English Ganon was literally Satan (Great Demon King/Prince of Darkness, respectively).

It's a 10/10 and red dead two better watch out.

Wrong. If it was me it would have been:

A) three games, and not necessarily "favourites" overall but the favourite, or most notable, of the last year and:

B) if you actually commit to announcing then on Sup Forums I commend you for putting yourself out there.

Faggots like OP are always the same and (you) fish without ever putting their favourite games in the firing line. They get two chances to compare and contrast like men, or I leave them to their terrible thread and the idiots feeding them.

It's a troll filter essentially.

>you will never have a bf where there is at least a difference of 2'

I immensely enjoy the thought that you are so upset by these type of posts that you actually think anyone is going to tell you their "three favorite games of last year" in some kind of desperate effort to win validation from you, as if the validation of an autist means anything.

>trying to say that looking like the late, great Florence Henderson is a bad thing

Man, fuck you.

>and Ganon is a tall handsome rugged human

He's literally a giant pig monster and nothing else. In fact there were a fair number disspapointed that Ganondorf wasn't present.

>because fucking a girl is the same as watching porn

Don't be silly user, you don't know what that feels like either.

That's 2.

No one is upset here, chief, just bored of trolls. Good job in outing yourself though.

I've seen you evade this question before too. It's not about validation it's about seeing if your tastes explain why you hate Zelda so much. A guy who plays nothing but RTS is unlikely to find CoD any fun. The fact you won't talk about video games on a video games board says more about you than anyone, especially given your antagonistic opening post.

Sad. Many such cases.

The last time we had this conversation you said, "Good job outing yourself as a spineless faggot", and look, weeks later, you're still crying because you aren't getting what you want.

I have no problem talking about the games I like, nor do I have an issue with anyone criticizing them. The issue here is that my personal game choices have nothing to do with this game being total shit for the outlined reasons. Whether or not I like Club Penguin is not a metric for disregarding legitimate flaws in this game, like shitty voice acting and repetition. Asking me to "explain my tastes" is a sad masked attempt to delegitimize the original argument. I mean hey, you can think what you like about me or my tastes, the game still sucks and you're still an autist for liking it. Sorry user.