BIG BROTHER

BIG BROTHER
MOM SAYS IT'S MY TURN TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES
GIVE ME THE CONTROLLER NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW

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When I was about 12 or 13 I would masturbate with my door open because my little sister would peek in to watch

user what the fuck

story time, user. no dinosaurs or loch ness monsters.

My niece taught me how to masturbate
She's four years older than I am

This thread is going places

What the fuck?

Im ready

Remember dante posting?

.. okay

>HAHA time to masturbate
>Leave door open
>Little sister would peek in to watch

>tfw you will never be a horny teenage grill

...

oh shit bois here we go

I love my boy reviewbrah

Sure lil bro
>rapes
Now do want to play a better game?
>rapes again

cops called

Fuck you

Just like my chinese cartoons

...

Here you go little bro, have fun.

the fact is, teens are always horny, and anything teens experience in a sexual way will become good for them
life is just like that

so, if you don't want a gay son or lesbian daughter, just watch them in their teens

Here is your controller bro

who didn't do this?

>playing FFXII
>under the blanket
>Ashe showing booty in that mini skirt
>jerkin' it under the blanket
>sister walks by
"really dude"
>quickly pretend to be playing instead of jerking off
"oh what, i was just checking her out"
>complain that Basch should be the main character

Just give them a second controller and tell them it's them playing.
Even after they figure it out most of the time they will be content with talking to you about what's happening on the screen.

I'm pretty sure my little sister got mad at me once and deleted my Donkey Kong 2 save. I booted up the game once and it was the only one that was gone.

This actually happens to me daily, except my brother's 25 and all he play so if fucking Call of Duty.

Mauricio?

>Kids age 1 - 3 see you playing games
>they understand you need the controller to make the images on the screen move
>they ask to play
>hand them a controller not plugged into the console
>they believe they're playing the game


Can't even do that shit anymore because everything is wireless and can be powered on by mistake or even broken in the hands of a little kid.

>Piss sister off one way or another. Ate the last roll or something.
>She wipes my memory cards
>I break all her pipes and a bong

Thanks for reading!

>have cunty gas-lighting roomate who starts treating me like shit at the end of the lease because I won't move down to South Beach with her and realizes I'm no longer useful
>was such a cunt that she unapologeticly invoked our other room mate to take up drinking again and fall back into alchoholism because she's just that much of a cunt
>take her envelope full of LSD out of the freezer, soak it in dirty dishwater, and put it back
>anonymously call her boyfriend and tell him shes been fucking other dudes at the condo (which was true) and just wanted him to know before some real shit goes down
>call her job anonymously and let them know she's been stealing product (which was true) and that they should know
>watch the most amazing amount of drama unfold in a matter of 3 days before the lease ended and I moved my shit out to my new place

I wish I could say she got what she deserved, but she later met some poor rich guy and moved out to Malibu with him, and is probably slamming other dudes at his place when he's not there.

Nice tale.
The ending specially happens all the time.
Some bitches keep getting away with it.

most annoying picture ever to be uploaded ro the internet

Shit like that makes me genuinely flustered, she really is a genuinely shitty person. I'm not even exaggerating. She's outstandingly selfish, a MASSIVE cunt, threatens to sue every other business that wrongs her in any way, and constantly puts people down around her to lift herself up. Best part is she was one of those "I'm a millennial! I'm destined to be lazy and entitled and blah and it's not my fault!" people, and was one of the worst pseudo-intellectuals I ever knew. Constantly got BTFO by people that actually knew shit about anything in conversations.

I firmly believe though that everything comes back around sometime, and that everyone ultimately gets what they deserve in the end.

AAAAAH FUCK YOU

>tfw you were the youngest and got to be the little shit who mooched his older brother's video games

soundboard.ass-we-can.com/

I masturbated right behind my brother as he was playing ice age on the ps2

if i had managed to secure myself an onahole or something as a teenager i can say with the utmost certainty that my life would have been ruined

...

>tfw only child
>never ever had to share anything with anyone unless cousins were staying over
feels great

Yea, but it probably turned you into some weird autismo like most only children.

Yeah, but only childs are fucking weird, man. Just not socially well adjusted. Almost like home schooled kids.

Yeah feels great to be alone most of the time. You missed out big time.

don't bully pls

...

You will never have the kinship and social connections that I have with my big brother. Feels good. Get fucking sadder. Loner boner. So many good memories and so many ones being created each and every day. You. Are. Alone.

Idk man homeschooled kids are in another realm of autism. Too nice or too depressing

Sorry. I do have a few only child friends and there's nothing major wrong or anything.

Just.. kinda weird. Likes hentai and little girls.

>me, friend, and both our gfs live in one house
>me and his gf are fucking on the side
>get cocky and brave about it
>openly holding hands and being cutesy with each other while my friend, another friend, and someone's cousin are all playing something on the tv
>the cousin turns around randomly and catches us in the act
>she panics and pulls away and scooches away from me
>i stare him dead in the eyes with as much intensity as I can muster up
>internally panicking, felt like my heart stopped
>we maintain eye contact for what feels like ten minutes but was probably only a few seconds
>he turns away without so much as a change in expression
>glances at my friend
>scowls
>goes back to focusing on the game
>flashes me a sly thumbs up behind his back

I, to this day, have no idea what the fuck that was about, but i broke off the whole affair a week later because coming that close to being caught was like a slap in the face.

>FUcKING GOOOOOOOONS!!!

Come on, man. Don't be a dick. It's not his fault.

Only child master race reporting in

>Tfw older sister used to sleep in my bed on a regular basis until she was 15
>Tfw woke up a few times because she'd pissed in my bed

Only children anons, don't feel too bad, having siblings sucks ass most of the time.

>have an older brother
>always had to take turns playing games as kids because naturally only one console / TV set
>brother moves out
>have all the vidya time for myself, but it's all for nothing because lonely as fuck without bantz

That was me though

actually I would just watch him play all the Vidya and that would be fun enough in itself :3

...

This child has the most punchable face. There's something wrong with someone having a face this punchable. Who would take a picture like this? The only thing worse than this picture is all the Donte edits of it.

I would've just laughed in my parents' faces though, the games were all mine, I bought them with my money. My little sister didn't play video games, so I was good.

Gahaha, you sound salty. What's wrong? Did your brother fuck you in the ass? You stupid, stupid piece of shit - I'll skin you alive. Do you even understand how much of a worthless cunt you are? For fuck's sake, I'd put it into words if it weren't beyond any articulation.

You stupid piece of shit. You fucking molested, shit-sucking, cock-throating, dog-raping faggot. There's nobody who loves you. Nobody at all. Why don't you just hang yourself, why don't you rip off all your fingernails and drag them down a sheet of sandpaper while getting your urethra stretched out by a vibrating cactus? Even that fate is too good for you, you worthless piece of detritus.

You're worse than dirt. Lower than an amoeba. You're less than nothing. The single most vile and irredeemable entity in all of creation, in the infinite parallel universes that line our cosmos. If I were to ever witness you, I would merely destroy you.

why would you do that to your friend and your girlfriend, user? That's shitty.

Fucking prick. I'd beat the shit out of you, and then fuck your girlfriend in front of you.

I'm
>6'5
>300 lbs of muscle
>black belt
>MMA fighter
>eight inch cock, thick

Found out today that I'm having a son. Can't wait to introduce him to super Mario 64 when he's five and blow his mind.

Gotta get to work making him a sibling too.

Ill bet $5 that she was Canadian

Holy fucking hell, I hope your friend finds out and murders you and his whore (ex)gf.

A L O N E
L
O
N
E

He's not going to care at age 5 unless he's smart
So make sure you play his ass plenty of Beethoven

It's not unlikely considering how much age can be between relatives, I've got friends in their 20s who have sisters in their late 40s

>White people

If your not LARPing and actually having a kid I'll give you one piece of advice
DO
NOT
LET
YOUR KIDS
PLAY
FUCKING
MINECRAFT
ESPECIALLY SURVIVAL MODE
I have neighbors with two kids who played that shit when they were younger and they were tech addicted little shits. Get your kids into sports and going out and doing shit like camping, fishing, swimming, skating, hockey, whatever just don't use a phone or a computer to babysit him or he will become a nu-male.

Eh.

Having a sibling when growing up definitely sucks. About mid-twenties is when it's awesome if you guy can make up.

I'm 30 now and my sister and I are really close and involved in each other's lives and I wouldn't trade it for the world. When we were kids though.. just.. jesus. 'Fighting like cats and dogs' is putting it lightly. We loathed each other and lived only to ruin the other's day. These days though, I honestly believe we make each other a better person.

>Black people

>Yea, but it probably turned you into some weird autismo like most only children.

like most only children posting here*

being an only child is the best thing ever when you have one or two really good friends, you get to be at peace when you want it and social when you feel like it

she came onto me and i ignored it for months, she hopped into my bed claiming to be cold one day and at that point my dick was not listening to the rest of my body for another second.

there was a big falling out regarding money and none of us have spoken since. they are still together with kids now and shit, as are me and my gf of the time.

>oldest sibling of five
>sister and oldest brother are pretty cool, sister doesn't into vidya and brother mostly plays on his PC so there's no conflict
>youngest brother is too small for technology and behaves himself for the most part
>middle brother singlehandedly provides all the suffering the others aren't giving
>spouts memes and terrible puns repeatedly, laughs at his own jokes, cries when he doesn't get his way, demands whatever he feels like having, talks down to people twice his age, grabs the controller whenever it's unoccupied so he can spend hours watching Minecraft Let's Plays with the volume turned up to maximum
>takes nothing seriously unless it stops him from getting his way, so he can't be reasoned with
>parents are convinced it's all just because he's a kid

A comfy NEET lifestyle isn't worth this pain.

degenerate
kys

my 2.5 year old daughter plays SMB3 on my wife's old NES

she dodges enemies pretty well but struggles hopping over pits

you should look for mental help
stop being racist
no one fault you were born black

FUCK OFF NORMIE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This doesn't compute with the fact you decided to "get cocky and brave about it"

It doesn't make the situation or you any less shitty

I think you underestimate how dumb kids are now thanks to smart phones

>this thread

>only child
>didnt have to deal with any of this bullshit
>feels lonely

I've seen this pic so much that I wouldn't punch a child, just this one specifically for the rest of my life if I could

>use phone and computer to babysit kid hoping he will become a nu-male
>kid finds Sup Forums instead

It's for the best. I've got a brother and a sister but they're both complete shitheads. People can talk all they want about their deep familial bonds, but just having a sibling doesn't automatically mean you're going to get along with them.

>people that are different from me are SO weird
Wow, I wonder why.

I actually never fought much with my sister, mainly because she's pretty benign and just as weird as I am.
My only real problem with her is boundaries-related, she's always been kind of clingy, even with her boyfriend.

my dick demands more sexual possibly incestuous greentexts

Same here. Though I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

So you are white?
Kek, I figured you were a spic or something, but that's even worse.
>White people

Why are you such an asshole?

Literally me. Almost drowned my sister by accident but now we get along perfectly now that we are older and in our mid twenties.

not if they're fucking dogs

my older brother raped me :(

why asian is even worse?
do you hate asians because they're civilized?

It's your fault, you stupid piece of trash. You got raped. Rape-bait, rape-bait.

You lost the genetic lottery in the worst way possible, my friend. All anyone can do is suggest you seek help. You don't ever see anyone else this salty.

Niggers are worse. Much worse.

She's prolly hot as fuck tho and you're angry you didn't get to smash that like the other guys

>have sibling
>engaging in autoerotic activity
>sibling coincidentally arrives on scene
>sibling makes crude comment referencing said activity
>later, engage sibling in vigorous coitus uninterruptus
>incestuous relationship begins in earnest

Nah man I'm totally a well adjusted individual
Why else would I be posting on Sup Forums?