It's time to talk about this fucking game
>start off as count of krakow
>one sitting and 6 hours later I'm the king of poland
>become Wendish Emperor
>get bored
>realise it's 4am and I'm disgusting
repeat with different character
This game is like crack.
CK2 thread and stories?
Like this except with literally any empire
what is your favourite one to play in?
Got to be HRE for me, it's so easy to climb up the ranks
>be custom king of eastern Iceland
>unify Iceland and marry some Swedish milf bitch, direct descendant of Ragnar Lothbrok
>Bjorn Ironside is my brother in law, best buds
>take the Orkney Isles and agree to help Bjorn invade England
>be a part of the Norse invasion of Bongistan
>some Spanish fuckhead gets pissy with me, make redicous demands
>my son turns out to be a homo and a huge cuck, effectively ending my line
>attempt to assassinate my son because he's a total shit
>die of syphalis
>homo son fails as a ruler immediately and gets assassinated by one of my old raiding buddies
And thus ended the reign of Thundercunt the First, King of Iceland.
Persia and Hispania are the best empires to play in.
Also, i'd suggest you pick up victoria 2 if you like this game
How so? I haven't played EU4 either, I don't really like the global aspect of it and don't enjoy the blobbing
>Work hard forming a plan to merge the Holy Roman Empire of the UK with the Byzantine empire so I can recreate the true roman empire
>Married to empress, our son will inherit all
>They switch to elective succession at the last moment
YOU STUPID BITCH, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
IF THEY REVOLT JUST KICK THEIR ASSES AND BLIND / CASTRATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.
I WILL HELP YOU, I'M THE SINGLE MOST POWERFUL GUY IN EUROPE WITH A RETINUE OF 30,000 MEN AND I'M YOUR HUSBAND SO YOU KNOW I WON'T BACKSTAB YOU
RAGE
FUCKING
QUIT
kek
what usually happens to me is
>young ruler who's lustful with a fertile wife
>wife gets pregnant
>girl
>wife gets pregnant
>girl
>etc
>9th try finally get son
>dies age 2 from fever
>game over
Islam best religion
tutorial island all day erryday.
playing in ireland is so dull.
Eventually England just wrecks you
Wessex is the best start place I've done.
I had more fun playing as nordic places, but you get wrecked later game since you're not feudal and all you've got is swarms of light infantry.
Wessex on the other hand can become more prosperous and powerful than Constantinople in a few generations if you play your cards right
>start as a count in the Abbasid Empire
>my father is my overlord (Emir of Galilee)
>gets his title revoked
>I end up reforming it since I own most of the land
>conquer Jerusalem
>character dies after he runs off a cliff during a hallucination
>next character becomes a devil worshipper
>kills his own son while desecrating a mosque
>ends up getting assassinated by an unknown party
>next character conquers more land
>Shia rise in Jerusalem
>we lose
>I lose a lot of my land and become vassal of the Shia Caliph
>covert to Shia
>I'm his regent and his heir
>assassinate the child caliph and become Caliph myself
>conquer Syria even though the Abbasid forces outnumber me 4 to 1 because I was able to somehow win a 12k vs 9k battle
>join the Assassins and becomes Grandmaster
>Caliph becomes known as The Magnificent
>next caliph doesn't do much except become Grandmaster of the Hashashin
>following Caliph enacts religious revocation of land and purges the realm of Sunnis, becomes Grandmaster, conquers Arabia, and conquers Egypt
Also the current one who conquered Egypt and Arabia and purged the Sunnis is known as The Bear.
most fun i've had is Kiev tribal start
are you me.
Literally what i'm doing now. Managed to combine my land and greater poland through marriage.
How do I git gud at this game?
Practice. Just play through the game and you'll pick up things as you go on. Just focus on existing, create an hier but try not create too many claimants, try to expand your demesne and limit the number of vassals you have. Try not let anyone become too powerful in your realm or they will be a threat.
try engineer your dynasty to have favourable traits by marrying well. Also focus on your claims to expand.
Try start off as a count or a duke in HRE 1066, or maybe a french duke in 1200.
>play the Charlemagne campaign
>get the lover perk
>steamroll all over europe and create THE biggest kingdom of all time
>make nearly 20 children along the way with Viking whores giving me unbeatable warriors as sons, with beautiful Italian and French princesses, with exotic Byzantine concubines.
>on my deathbed I look at everything I created and deem it worthy of my glory.
The following Succession wars were an absolute shitshow though and everything turned to absolute garbage again.
God giveth and god taketh away I guess.
>install reapers due
>have fun for the first time without worrying about gavelkind and plotting shitters
>get immortal event chain
>make big blob
>feel good
>playing as King of Castille, about 4 generations in
>Reconquista going good, Spain almost unified, France keeps messing about, but not a real threat
>no male heirs though
>my dude dies, and now I'm playing as his daughter, thank god her marriage was matrilinear
>everyone hates my guts
>instant factions
>have kinda good intrigue, so start plotting to kill the faction leaders
>doesn't work, we /civil war/ nao
>win and imprison the unruly vassals
>start killing them off for shits and giggles
>get really into it and start eradicating entire families
>the Queen's reign of terror goes on and on
>half the Spanish nobility is dead
>start killing off sister branches of my own dynasty because they wanted to overthrow me
>finally get a son
>get assassinated
>was still kinda fun
The son reigned for about 70 years, formed Hispania and was a great guy all around. CK2 gets really good when you RP a little and don't just focus on blobbing.
>not in the last 10 years of his life killing off all but his eldest son
this. If my guy is a lunatic he plays like one.
If he's a scholar and passive, he plays like one etc
This isn't eu4 which is a blobbing game
Been wanting to get into this and other Paradox titles.
How long does it take to learn the basics and actually start enjoying the game?
Just play.
You'll get it eventually.
Learning is fun.
Keep the wiki open in another screen
sometimes the game outright tells you to go slap some bitches around
currently playing a norse game, my ruler has a pretty massive martial skill, zealous and just found mjolnir. Pretty sure the proper rp course here is to kick the christians out of europe or die trying.
There are only a couple of things in the game that are somewhat complicated, and they are mostly complicated by the game not having nearly enough detail in the menus explaining why they are occurring. One example is inheritance - if you use primogeniture, for instance, there are weird gotchas like your second daughter inheriting over the first if she has a son and the first doesn't, or the game choosing a random courtier/vassal instead of a too-distant kinsman if you have no applicable children or close relatives.
Read war victory results closely before declaring, if you are pushing someone's claim make sure you know whether or not they will become your vassal if you win (I've even had someone's status change such that while they would have been my vassal when I started the war, when I ended they were someone else's). Something else the game is sorely lacking is the ability to pull up the war screen (with details on war score, whose claim is being pushed, etc) if you aren't part of a war.
>that byzantine campaign where you conquer all the mudslimes, replace their population and assimilate them into byzantine rule
Feels gud man. I just took all of egypt and nubia, and mecca too. Time for Africa and rebuilding Carthage.
...
BLACKED
Pretty sure if you start early enough and get a good momentum going you can take parts of England before it becomes powerful and unified enough to kick your ass
Can anyone recommend me a good/interesting start? I have all dlc's
I once started with duke of Porto in 1022 or w/e and ended the game with roman empire borders except for a lot of north africa all the way to jerusalem
Uh
If you have all DLCs being a Vikang and trying to unify Scandinavia can be really really fun imo
this
when I was really new I played as count von Oldenburg, fabricate a few claims, become duke of Brunswick, get elected emperor out of nowhere, add hungary to the empire and get re-elected
also my son was going to be emperor of Byzantium when his mum died but my save was corrupted
>get celtic mod
>emperor of Albion
>constantly trying to destabilize other realms instead of outright conquer them
>become Perfidious Albion
Good times
I've tried a couple in spain, as in 1066 the three kings are all brothers. I always get steamrolled by mudslimes tho
>those "parents"
When i play Spain i always look manually for the date where the king of castille rules all 3 kingdoms. That start is easier.
What's the general opinion of the Game of Thrones mod?
I'm going to do that now.
It's good but kind of unstable and prone to crashing. As with most total conversion mods, the devs made the scope of it too large and included a massive chunk of the eastern continent that no one plays in or cares about but which consumes a lot of dev time after major game version updates and increases the burden on peoples' machines while running the game. The Warhammer mod did the same and so did the Elder Scrolls mod. Those two are now basically dead now because they are so huge that the devs can't keep up with updates.
Just play with CK2+
Actually makes the game good