They made Shelob a human female

>they made Shelob a human female
Who the fuck thought this was a good idea
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>Lotr lore
>Good

>Random dude is basically god and immune to the effects of the ring

What's bad about lotr lore?

Shadow of Mordor/War's lore is massively retarded fan fiction, it's not worth taking seriously. They're only worth playing for the nemesis system.

you should have seen this coming from the trailer were goblins and orcs where talking and joking in a british accent
they obviously don't give a shit about the source material anymore and went for a lore raping original story donut steel

This.

The devs basically just admitted that they aren't adhering to Tolkien's lore at all with their inclusion of a black man in a Gondor city.

I played through the first game and I still don't know what mordor is

It's a place

Generally not very fun to be in

Orcs are there

>gondorians can't be black
And why is that? Hmmmm? Is this what you believe because you're afraid of African Americans?

>And why is that? Hmmmm?

Read the books, sweetie.

>gonodorians
>African American
You're retarded

The nemesis system was a great idea, but it really wasn't executed well.

I found it extremely rare that I would ever run into a nemesis, since I would have to willingly let them escape. The vast majority of enemies I encountered died on their first interaction with me.

Part of that is a symptom of how overpowered you get very quickly, though. Especially once you're at the point where you only need to hit like two enemies to charge an execution move. At that point, it's no longer even relevant what enemy type you're facing or what immunities they have. Just spam executions until their head flies off.

I'm hoping the sequel improves upon this to make the nemesis system more relevant, and to make chiefs actually a challenge to fight at all stages of the game.

As far as lore complaints go, don't even pay attention to it. The game rapes the lore so bad that you'll just get angry if you take it seriously. Even as a standalone plot, it's awful. It's a fun game to play as a mindless orc slaughter simulator, and it's satisfying to build an army of mind controlled orcs.

It's basically just the utmost surface material reinterpreted into a different universe. The main elf dude never existed in that capacity and they prettymuch threw all decorum out the window for the sake of mechanics (which ends up being mostly worthwhile although I wish they'd crafted a bigger more varied setting in that case).

It's not confirmed to be shelob from this trailer. It could be Ungoliant, or literally any other magical spider they could shit out an idea for. That being said, the actual lotr lore in these games are bad and a borderline insult to autisitic people such as myself, however, as long as you try and pretend its not a lotr game or embrace its 100% non-canon, its an alright game and I am unironically looking forward to playing the new one.

so not only is she a human but shes not some goddess that can reveal the future?
the fuck she was just a big ass spider

>implying I need to read the works of some racist old hack
if you don't want to make any actual arguments

I just died to them on purpose by playing the game like dynasty warriors.

No but she has a riiiiiiing now it's called lord of the riiiiiiiings and she has a riiiiiiing

Some of your nemeses can actually come back even if you kill them. I had an orc I decapitated show up again, with his head crudely stapled back on and him being angry at me for doing that to him.

Ok so what is middle earth

Not an argument.

>goblins and orcs where talking and joking in a british accent
Bait?

Yeah, I hear you on the how overpowered you get quickly front.
After the first few missions when all the challenge was already gone I ended up starting a new savegame and just refusing to actually buy any of the health or execution related upgrades. Found the game much, much more enjoyable and nemesis managed to get away much more frequently like that.

It's a big place, mordor is part of it

>not confirmed to be Shelob
>called Shelob reveal trailer
Can you read?

Nice paragraphs. +1

>Olog-hai dude literally says "Bloke" every other sentence

Yeah okay, bait, sure

fucking retard

Okay, first off you nigger, its an official trailer and is fucking titled "Shelob Reveal Trailer".

Second, Ungoliant is fucking dead.

The trailer calls her Shelob, but that's not what I want to talk about
>It could be Ungoliant
How the FUCK would that make anything better? What's next, you fucking meet Morgoth?

Hah, joke's on you, only three of those were me!

>Reeeeeeeeeee stop making text easier to parse

That's fair enough, but Orcs were joking and talking "in an English accent" in the books.

>It's not confirmed to be shelob from this trailer.
>"Shelob Reveal Trailer"

What did he mean by this?

Who cares, fuck that stupid game

Since when did anyone including the immortal wizards of the LOTR universe have instant teleportation powers? Or shoot laser arrows, or beat a thousand orcs while doing unlimited ice blasts. Your character is the most Gary Sue character of all time, next to that generic bald headed faggot from Star Wars The Force Unleashed.

Would you have expected anything else from Fuck Tolkien: The Game?

Oh of course you would because Sup Forums is full of people who have never experienced Tolkien outside of shitty wiki articles, video games, and Peter Jackson. None of you can begin to comprehend what all is wrong and I hate you for it.

Why is white hair elf guy so mean

I can, user. Stop projecting.

>what all is wrong
But keep shitposting

He had a meaner dude he worked for before that guy got killed

Now he wants to be the biggest and baddest but men and elves won't let him

Why is Talon's new design so shit

How are orc babies made if there are no girls

Sure, but they weren't disneyfied cockney comedy orcs. Tolkien wrote all kinds of different levels of intellect in his books, from Gollum to Gandalf. Orcs were closer to Gollumn on that spectrum.

>Caring for canon lore
L o L

o

L

No they weren't. They talked, sure, but they weren't making quips in a cockney accent.
>"I have my orders. And it's more than my belly's worth, or yours, to break 'em. Any trespasser found by the guard is to be held at the tower. Prisoner is to be stripped. Full description of every article, garment, weapon, letter, ring, or trinket is to be sent to Lugbúrz at once, and to Lugbúrz only. And the prisoner is to be kept safe and intact, under pain of death for every member of the guard, until He sends or comes Himself. That's plain enough, and that's what I'm going to do."

Well yes but, what was her tax plan?

The answer is nobody knows

Presumably orcs breed somehow

On a deeper level Tolkien's very religious soul was conflicted with the orcs being creatures of ultimate evil and could not be redeemed because he believed that everyone could be redeemed so he didn't touch on the orcs much in his works

Yeah like I said, complaining about him saying "bloke" and wise-cracking and shit is fine
I just wanted to point out that Tokien went to great lengths to give them a working-class accent in the books. They don't seem like MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU RAAAAAARGH monsters but rather like blue collar workers who are also constantly scheming

Spiders

We dont know aragons tax policy

7% sales tax

He opened trade to the shire for pipeweed at a 25% import fee

What was Robert's tax policy? What was Aerys' tax policy? Oh wait, the fat fuck didn't write about that either, instead he talked about an underage girl having diarrhea, another riding a fat pink mast, another one's cunt becoming the world, and all that food in between as well.

What did he mean by this? GRRM never talks about taxes in ASoIAF, he just talks about fucking food.

dont get this meme

>another riding a fat pink mast, another one's cunt becoming the world, and all that food in between as well.

???????????

I like to think the answer is something like 40k. Orcs beget more orcs when they die. Violent culture = good breeding rates.

Granted this is partially thanks to the Uruk-hai birth sequence from the movies. At the time I figured regular orcs must grow in the ground too. Seeded somehow or by magic.

What? If you Google Celebrimbor he shows up in the Tolkien wiki or something similar. I checked and it looks like the dude is legit in the L O R E

>Ruling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper. We look at real history and it’s not that simple. Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn’t ask the question: What was Aragorn’s tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren’t gone – they’re in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles?
Martin thinks his writing is better because ts "gritty" and 'realistic"

Are these games any good? I hear it's Batman combat in all open world LOTR style. Sounds fun but I think I might be annoyed if they shit all over the lore

>And suddenly his cock was out, jutting upward from his breeches like a fat pink mast.

>She was sopping wet when he entered her. “Damn you,” she said. “Damn you damn you damn you.” He sucked her nipples till she cried out half in pain and half in pleasure. Her cunt became the world. Only his hands mattered, only his mouth, only his arms around her, his cock inside her. He fucked her till she screamed, and then again until she wept, before he finally spent his seed inside her womb.

Would you like a quick rundown?

My dick thinks it's a great idea

Yes, he existed. What he was not:

>A wraith
>A super badass powerful warrior with a bow who could kill, like, a billion orcs you guys, dude, dude, he could kill so many orcs wow
>Someone who could mind control people
>Someone who stole Sauron's ring and used it to raise an army against him and had a QTE fight with him

sure

Tolkien was king of going off on a detail spree but even he knew that all of those things where unnecessary to the narrative.

The first game was a fun One Session game
That is, you play it once, maybe for three hours, maybe for six hours
Then you never play it again
The critical flaw of the game is that your character's power level grows almost exponentially, while your opponents improve linearly
So by the time you're about two hours into the game, you've already become Too Powerful To Care

>Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles?

Yes.

Unlike GRRM, Tolkien dealt with his evil shits accordingly. Whereas GRRM used author fiat all the fucking time, especially in the case of letting Dorne miraculously surviving being wholly burnt to ash by three fucking dragons, the Ironborn never exterminated and the Boltons spared execution when they rebelled against the Starks, when they'd already exterminated their own cadet branch for rebelling.

The story, open world and characters are all absolute shit. The only thing that made it good was that the price dropped absurdly fast a month after it came out, the combat was an okay copy of Batman and the Nemesis system was pretty fun

Don't buy them at full price

>Someone who stole Sauron's ring and used it to raise an army against him and had a QTE fight with him
To be fair, his DLC had an actual boss fight with Sauron even if it was a clusterfuck with continually spawning Uruks everywhere.

I must have serious memory issues. I can't dredge up a fucking thing about books I've read or shows I've watched. How the hell did this slip my mind?

Don't orcs spawn from mudpits or something?

I never read any of his books but I hate it when I read reviews for other Sword and Magic fantasy and everyone has to compare it to GoT even though the books seem like complete garbage.

Whats the real deal about them?

It's not like it's the only shitawful thing he wrote.

>"Ten thousand of your children perished in my palm, Your Grace. Whilst you snored, I would lick your sons off my face and fingers one by one, all pale sticky princes. You claimed your rights, my lord, but in the darkness I would eat your heirs."


That's Cersei talking about Robert.

And of course, his masterpiece:

youtube.com/watch?v=QmKhGqWcJGY

Tolkien himself wrote that Orcs are not purely evil or beyond redemption but that none had yet showed the signs of breaking away form Morgoth's corruption.

As if the phantom turning out to be Celebrimbor wasn't bad enough. And him turning out to be evil and dominating orcs.

Shit's a fucking fuckfest. Jesus christ. None of the damn writers for this shit could've possibly read the source material.

That's what I was talking about.

He said:
>If you Google Celebrimbor he shows up in the Tolkien wiki or something similar. I checked and it looks like the dude is legit in the L O R E

Yeah, the game makers didn't make up Kellogsblueberry. They made up literally everything they use him for in the game (and the DLC) is what I was getting at.

Considering all the post that person originally replied to says is:
> The main elf dude never existed in that capacity

But he misread it as "They made him up"

Honestly I don't care that much about LOTR but you know the made up magic abilities are just there to not make you bored for the 30 hours of missions and campaign

>Just turn your brain off bro

Aw sick argument brosef

Tolkien never gave a specific way orcs were created. he did this intentional, to help add mystery and fear about them within the reader.

And because he was Christian

Dorne was burnt? I thought they played guerilla war so well that they were left alone and eventually joined of their own free will. Why would the Ironborn be exterminated? The rebellion? Those happen now and then, it doesn't result in the genocide of all those who partook.

>What's next, you fucking meet Morgoth?
Funny you mention that. One of my pet theories is that Shelob in this game's spin on the canon may actually be the result of Ungoliant fucking Melkor thing. I mean, the Silmarillion says she tried to eat him. And some spiders will consume their mates. So Shelob may be the daughter of Morgoth.

LOTR's themes
- Industrial societies are at odds with agricultural societies
- Subsistence life cannot exist in the shadow of Industrial society
- Industrial society will dominate and subjugate all other societies
ASoIaF's themes
- Incest is best

>Dorne was burnt?

The Targaryens literally burned everything but Sunspear. Every fucking field growing anything at all was ashes. But they still somehow survived? Off what?

>Why would the Ironborn be exterminated?

Literally never contributed anything, rebelled all the fucking time, attacked everyone.

Why the fuck would anyone leave them alive after beating them just once?

I wouldn't, but thanks. I'll probably check it out after the backlog.

I remember the pooping but, again, drawing a blank when it comes to eating kingly sperm.

Although I guess this means I can read and enjoy it all again like it was the first time?

Shut the fuck up with your headcanon garbage.

P-please stop, that's my fetish

...

Fish? I don't know, and I see what you're saying. Especially since they burned down that giant fortress in the riverlands that used to belong to the Ironborn when they were called something else.

Now that one's a weaker point. Why? Cause they chose to. Same reason they didn't murder literally everyone they fought. Wanting their expertise at naval warfare for later, subjugating rather than exterminating, etc. The same question can apply to everyone that has ever beaten another faction. Why weren't the riverlands completely purged of all life? They're in a central location and didn't support the throne. etc

stop

STOP

I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH

>you fucking meet Morgoth
I've never read The Silmarillion, what's wrong with this?

Ungoliant was pissed because Morgoth wouldn't give up the silmarillion to it. They didn't fuck.

You're as bad as these fucking devs.

I'm pretty sure I explicitly remember Aragorn letting the orcs live in Mordor at the end of Return of the King.

He's supposed to be super-duper-never-come-back dead.

The angel/gods of the world locked him out of existence for fucking up Middle Earth and being a dick. You can't meet him.

The fucker isn't even anywhere near Middle Earth.

Thrown out the Door of the Night into the infinite void/blackness of nothingness, until the final battle that ends and remakes all of existence.

Why are lorefags so autistic?

>you fucking meet Morgoth
Inb4 Finngolfin vs Morgoth dlc

Morgoth aka Satan former boss of Sauron according to canon he is imprisoned in cosmic void outside of arda

At least Tolkien could finish a story.

>super-duper-never-come-back dead
He's not dead he's locked out of existence until the end of the world battle.