Wake up

>wake up
>look through window
>see this
>they are aimed at your house
Wat do?

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Lament I'm in a shit game

This is what 30 years of a lonely life has been leading to!

Surrender 30 seconds into the match because thou hast more sheep than i

do a drive by in my new car.

>no protection
A bunch of halberdiers can take them down.

honest question from a brainlet: how the fuck did they even aim these things in real life anyway? how could they tell where a relatively tiny projectile would land? did it have sights or did it require advanced calculation?

Send every villager at once. Villager swarms are unironically the best thing for siege weapons.

What if the other guy's sending onagers?

you point it at a wall and then lob the rock at it. It isn't hard to hit a stationary castle or fort.

Heavy horse archers are good for everything.

Don't know but I guess because the target is generally huge and the ammo (rocks) is basically free, they probably just aimed in the general direction of the ennemy and fired.

Hope the first stone lands on my head.

finally

dude walk zigzagz lma0

if i woke up and looked out my window that would mean they are in my backyard, and would be too big to actually aim at my house from that distance.

no problem.

>you point it at a wall
it fires in an arc though, it's not like it fires straight forward

They calculate the trajectory of the projectile based on the weight of the projectile and the power of the trebuchet.

It involves a lot of mathematics.

get my horses ready

they probably calculated the distance

if all rocks weigh the same and all trebuchets are constructed the same, then there should be a secure way of calculating that stuff

Trebuchets were actually put fairly close to Castles, they wouldn't be shooting from miles away, they would be launching rocks in a mostly straight line to hit the wall head on.

In AoE 2 they fly into the air and fall directly down onto their target which is wrong

>I guess it's time...

Ballistic arcs are not hard to predict. Nova did a special where they built a trebuchet from scratch and it only took 3 tries for them to hit the wall they were aiming at.

Laser sights

let's assume you don't have halberdiers in your house

I know I know... it's an unlikely scenario, I for example never go to sleep without halberdiers, but this is just a thought experiment.

Mathematics combined with trial&error and experience.
Trebuchet operators also weren't just random peasants conscripted into the army, they were professionals who spent their lives working with those machines.

Hunting rifle, shoot the guys manning the trebuchet, go back to sleep.

>1547 AD
>not having halberdiers in your house

What are you a fucking surf?

build an university and research physics for better accuracy

Bring out my space trebuchet

>surf

F U K

Then I'll have to use plan B.

nah times were far more simple back then

simply arrest the smartest men in the entire nation and threaten to kill all of them and their families if they don't come up with a method to throw gigantic rocks onto my enemies like fucking zeus. and every month one of them who lagged behind the most with the research would have been executed.

How do you turn this on?

my house is so small compared to what they are constructed to hit, and they fire so fucking slow that there is not need for panic.
Simply walk up to them and set them on fire by hitting them with a sword.

Get the cast iron flail from my drawer and start whacking them. They'll burst into flames soon enough.

All my beginning citizenry were male. I must abdicate.

Nova as in the pbs niggers who explain string theory?
they probably could do better than your average joe

These are aoe2 trebs, there is nobody manning them. They just work.

Pick up my carton cardboard box, move to the next street.

Time to get the oil pots

Could trebs actually destroy castles? I find it hard to believe. Castles are made of fucking stone.

Yeah, they'd need to throw diamonds, the hardest metal.

this reminded me of those awful community maps
>mfw mafio

A 90kg rock has a shitload of energy

That tech is ballistics

>can a rock hurtling through the sky with tremendous velocity knock over a bunch of stacked rocks?
Yes.

youtube.com/watch?v=DrEbNB5mlos

the campaign was unnecessarily hard.

fuck the pig.

SHIT that just reminded me of Lords of the Realm 2

I know what I'm playing when I get home.

>tfw using it as a scout

epic reddit image

I don't think they wanted to destroy them, just knock a few walls down

>simply arrest the smartest men in the entire nation and threaten to kill all of them and their families
I feel like this is a hyberbole and they mostly just paid them ludicrously, like Da Vinci

>doing the attack missions against his castle on higher difficulties are only possible by abusing exploits with crossbow/archer range or getting bullshit lucky
Fuck, I could play most of the levels on very hard but those ones fuck the pace every time.

The thing about seiges is you have a long, long time. Fire some rocks, if they miss, re-angle it and fire again. Eventually you'll hit the walls and start pounding them for the next four months.

cunt.

aoe2 is legitimately one of the few 10/10 games in existence (the other being morrowind, diablo 2 and doom 2)

>389667902

Alternatively, you load the thing up with a fuckload of smaller rocks (say, fist or brick sized), and lob them OVER the walls and into the castle grounds, to impact on internal structures, livestock, people...

For added effect you can stick the rocks into a fire first. A few dozen red hot bricks or hunk of lead shot slamming into a stable full of dry hay, or landing in some thatch will end a seige faster than knocking down a wall.

Hope to god that they don't launch dead cows at your house

trial&error from training

>can pay knights, men-at-arms, peasant armies and the upkeep on giant castles along with all the horses and equipment
>can't pay a few burgher eggheads to draw on a paper
you'd be a shit king, and probably soon a dead king too

Shit myself because my house lies about 300 meters away and that projectile looks roughly 90kgs

HOPE THEY LIKE BEEF

you answered your own damn question

because their pay would be guaranteed they would just doodle around

if they feared for their life they would work as hard as possible

Never played any of these siege games where to start?

HERE COMES BESSY

t. underage

Age of Empires 2
Stronghold Crusader

These are the only games you need.

Stronghold HD and Stronghold Crusader HD are pretty fun, albeit a little frustrating sometimes with how bullshit a handful of the campaign missions can be (the missions where you attack someone give you a shit tier army and are so bullshit that people would rather do them on easy, even if they do the rest of the game on very hard) but it can be very fun to design your own deathtrap castle and manage your economy.

Bread > all other food types when wheat farms can be placed close to the stockpile btw.

You must be 18 years or older to post on this site.

>because their pay would be guaranteed they would just doodle around
or you could like, tell them that if they get their shit done they get a reward, making a few commoners really rich is nothing when they allow you to take a castle in return

AoE 2, just play the tutorial campaign then look up build orders on the internet

>not using a few additional food types to give you +1 or +2 happiness

fucking commie

Baited
You faggots need to learn to report and ignore

I might occasionally, but they are so fucking slow that they run out too fast.

good question

i recomend dairy farms

>produces cheese
>produces leather armor
>gives you cows to throw into the enemy's castle

>immediately go out to surrender
>get sent back to house by this cunt because he wants to use his toys

Apples>bread

>t. zero life experience.

If they fear for their life, or even just dislike you, they do their best to PRETEND to work as hard as possible while doing the bare minimum they can get away with.

Have you ever even held a fucking job? Take care of the people under you and they will bleed for you of their own volition.

Send out my battering rams. Blow out sides watching trebs unpack in a panic and rams chase them around like cats and mice.

That is literally what Calculus is for

dude my monarchy would be so respected and feared in the entire world that any person would be willing to work and even die for me and would consider it an honor.

also you're an idiot if you think I would threaten him personally. my servants would do it and I would pretend that I don't know anything and invite him to a feast. Do you even good cop, bad cop?

>gives you cows to throw into the enemy's castle
does it?

Well yeah, late game dairy farms are only really useful for tanners and cattle projectiles

i didnt know they give you extra cow-throws
how does that work?

>my monarchy would be so respected and feared in the entire world that any person would be willing to work and even die for me and would consider it an honor.

Then who are you beseiging?

Cows teleport from dairy farms into your available cows for launching via medieval magnets or something

enemies are not persons. they are animals.

After me people would remember vlad tepes as a good and benign ruler.

>Doom 2
>not Doom 1

yeah fine I wasn't sure which one to pick

at least nobody called me a morrowcuck

now this is shitposting

...

>throw rock
>too far
>more rocks
>repeat

It's a siege so they can do this shit forever

>le shitposter™ meme
fuck off to reddit fucking underage scum

>howdoyouturnthison x500
>go back to sleep

cowabunga dude