Playing Transistor in the dark

>playing Transistor in the dark
>suddenly feel something on my thigh
>leapt out of my chair and turn on the light
It's a motherfucking spider. I live on the 35th floor and this is the first time I've seen an insect, let alone a motherfucking spider in my apartment.
I think it came in with the bananas I bought a few days ago but I can't be sure. At least I hope it did and it was the only one. Fucking squished it and flushed it.
Be careful out there bros.

>inb4 spiderposters

Hey, why you gotta harm a spider bro. He was probably the entire reason you didn't see any other insects.

He just wanted to let you know he was there for you, and that you had nothing to worry about.

>scared of something a fraction of your size

fag

why would it come in with the bananas

Why would a spider even post here?
They are too busy making our webs to catch flies.

OP is referring to the dirty male prostitute he bought

Heh. say that to my gun kiddo

Why do you want to hurt us like that OP?

it could of saved you from playing such a shitty game

are male prostitutes normally infested with spiders?

Good thing you killed it

that's a brown recluse bite, camel spiders are not venomous and aren't around the U.S however brown recluses are regularly and you're gay now btw

>Camel spider
That's a brown recluse bite. Camel spiders don't have venom.

>mfw someone calls a spider an insect

They're arachnids you uneducated clod

>our webs

I kill spiders all the time, little fags think they are allowed to crawl on my shit

When you're a poor and desperate faggot like OP you take what you can afford.

>he doesn't have a pet Tarantula

I always make a point to save spiderbros but not brown recluses. They scare the absolute fuck out of me because I live in Arkansas and they're everywhere. I stepped into my bathtub and one fell off the ceiling onto my hand. It didn't bite but it scared me half to death. One of my college classmates used to be an artist, and one day was bit by a brown recluse just under her left eye. It got so bad they had to remove her left eye, and she went completely blind in her right eye.

Fuck brown recluses.

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Nobody cares. It's like trying to argue the difference between a scalefag or furry, it's the same shit people hate.

Do you get triggered when I call a beetle a truebug?

Jesus fucking christ was she allergic or something? I thought bites only get that severe if that's the case or something. I live in Cincinnati so I'm around the danger zone and will not spare any spider for the vague possibility it's a recluse. I will not get close enough with my face to find out.

...

I don't remember. The last I heard of her, she had moved back with her parents and was seeking disability because pretty much every job around here requires eyesight and she couldn't find work.

I've been having odd prolonged erections these past few days. But the spider I killed was small and white. I don't think it was the cause.

Normally I would throw them outside if I encountered them in a house. But this apartment is pretty much sealed off from the outside, I haven't opened the balcony doors once. And it's suppose to be a clean sterile environment hence my shock and sudden action. Plus the fucker was erratically webbing under my table when I got back with the paper towels. And I had nowhere to put it had I chose not to kill it.

How does that not piss him off and make him bite you, user?

jesus christ, you could die like this and this will be how the world remembers you

S/He finally got the courage to say hi and you just killt em, you bastard! You suck OP

>spider on desk is coming toward me
>"it's probably just gonna fuck off"
>it's coming directly for my arm
>get up to arm self appropriately
>it has vanished
>it starts to come at me from under my desk, going for my feet
>keeps retreating back under my desk every time I try to kill it
>won't stop approaching me
who the fuck said spiders are afraid of you and will just leave you alone you are a LIAR

You're making me feel bad.

I killed a spider today, in my defense I'm pretty sure it was a brown recluse.

Anywho, spiderbro was trying to tell you to not play shitty games OP

one tine I was playing mass effect and a spider rappelled down right in front of my face

I know if I were small enough, it would eat me without hesitation but I can't help but believe I could raise one that wouldn't.

Eh, chances are low, even in the already unlikely scenario that you encounter one and get bitten.

spider bro

you should you fucking murderer

but its HAPPENED. that kids going to grow up, wonder what happened to his dad and this is what will show up

>tfw you would love to have helpful spider bros around the house
>get thousands of harvestmen instead
At least they stay outside. Literally what is the point of these vile creatures, they make me physically ill

These fuckers ruined genital pubes for me.

Bro I do battle every fucking night. I get pic related as well as spiders and regular field crickets.

>taking a piss break
>walking to bathroom
>notice some dark object jumping around at you
>turn on light
>it's pic related
>Camel Cricket:
>almost blind, these insects jump at any threat to intimidate them

>numale sees brown spider
>F-FUCK, SELF DEFENSE BROWN RECLUSE KILLITKILLIT
My 7 year old nephew plays with spiders, you guys are massive pussies.

Your 7 year old nephew is an assassin and you're going to regret this when he sacrifices your family to his spider gods for power

>the world remembers you for your rock hard erection
Sounds pretty cool to me

>these insects jump at any threat to intimidate them
Nah fuck that.

he said plays with them, not kills them.
Almost all entomologists played with bugs and spiders when they were young, it's not like they became serial killers or something

>he thinks spirders are even in the top 10,000 of insects that psychologically fuck with your survival instinct by being everything ugly in nature

Try seeing a Centipede Crawl next to your foot.

Awwwww, who's a cutie wootie ootie?

Anyone remember this game? The scorpion was pretty cool.

>leaving the house
>see something dark and long on the wall as I approach the door
>automatic stairwell light turns on
>it's a House Centipede

>All these dumbasses pretending to be tough on the internet who have no idea just how easy it is for even spider venom to kill a human being
Darwinism will sort this out.

He's not playing with them, he's CONSORTING with them. And how would you know that they aren't all assassins? Assassins hide their identity when they kill, otherwise they wouldn't be good assassins would they? Checkmate, assassin.

Man i fucking cant
I hate those things so god damn much.
Every couple months growing up id see one in the upstairs bathroom and then i would only use the downstairs one for the next month.
I usually like insects but fuck those things.

When something the size of a penny can kill me in a single bit, you're damn straight I'm going to be afraid.

Not spiders.

Those are opiliones.

When did Sup Forums become so dumb?

I still own it, figure it's gonna be worth a pretty penny now that THQ is gone the voice actors are pretty famous.... Oh yeah, the game was great.

Spiders are your friends user, they killed other insects and snakes for you

I'll take spiders over mosquitos and wasps any day of the week.
Seriously though, mosquitos are proof that if god exists he hates our guts.

Daddy long legs come that big? Damn!

My house has a fruit fly problem. Will it stop once it gets cold outside? Yes I am using vinegar water bottle traps. Never before had a fruit fly problem in all my years living here. This fucking sucks. They're in front of my face right now.

What kind of spiders should you avoid and which should you let build a nest above or under your bed?

Show me the part where I said they were spiders. I posted that because they're also arachnids.

Damn, that snake got ARACHNIFIED!

Stop leaving food out youu stupid fuck

How I got rid of mine is by putting all my organic waste in the freezer until garbage day to starve them out.

Please tell me you live in a civilised country that has a specified Compost recycle bin to use and that you aren't just dumping your fucking food in along with your plastics, because otherwise you deserve worst than fruit flies

Mantises are more bro than spiders. Those things kill crickets, and cricket chirping always keeps me up at night

>cricket chirping always keeps me up at night
Do you just not sleep? Cricket chirping is fucking everywhere.

I can't stand the sight of spiders. They absolutely creep me out more than any other kind of critter. Not even Scorpions creep me out like spiders do.

Apple cider vinegar.

ambient nature sounds at night actually help me fall asleep.

No, I sleep, but thankfully the walls drown out most of the chirping. I can never go camping though because of it. Last two times I tried camping I was up all night because of the damn crickets

I left a bowl with salt water I made using tap water & black salt, genocided the entire fruit fly population.

We get field crickets in my house. Here's what you need:

Squirt bottle
Water
Dawn dish soap

Fill the bottle with water, add 2 squirts of dish soap. Spray directly on crickets. They will suffocate in 15 seconds or less. I have to do this shit every night and I bag at least 5 a night.

Continue.

Not when there's just one of them in a basement well

This. Fcuking good on you for whatever legths you had to go to not flinch at the sight of a spider in your home but just stay the fuck away from me, stop trying to shill this pro spider lifestyle, I DON'T WANT IT

Put a banana in a bowl/tupper ware that you dont mind throwing out, Cover the top with saran wrap and poke tons of fork holes in the top. Line the sides with soap and let all of them starve to death as they enter and cant get out.

Holy shit, I am trying this out tomorrow. Thanks!

if you think house spiders roam your house looking for food you're a fucking dumbass

>sleep near a daddy long leg web
>not even worried at night
>bro keeps me safe from real dangers
>kills black widows and mosquitoes


Why is Sup Forums afraid of arachnids?

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Jumping spiders are pretty smart (for a spider anyways). It probably has been pet like that a few times before without getting squished so it eventually determined the finger was not a threat.

how the fuck did it even get up there

The spider bro who lives behind my chair has committed mass genocide of the cave crickets in the basement
but also has an adversary or a large jumping spider who lives among the boxes in the basement. I hope they fight on my desk so I can tape it, put it on youtube and then go to prison for animal abuse when PETA comes after me

Because one summer I kept waking up with 9 spider bites across my leg, sometimes more or sometimes less. But it was every fucking night.

So I started vacuuming more often, cleaning my sheets, nope nothing worked.
looked under my bed to find 6 god damn webs of jumping spiders, these fucks have been munching on my fucking leg I know it because my doctor identified them as SPIDER bites, nothing else.

You had it easy, you got soft, civilised. you won't survive the spider wars with your liberal attitudes, you need to grow up and understand responsibility.

So is the spider's mouth her vagina or what

what would a spider look like without hair?

...

Ain't never been an orb weaver that's given me trouble, despite being everywhere around my fucking house right now. Non-toxic, cool looking and they always build their webs far away from where you're at.

FUCK wolf spiders.

>I've been pet like this a few times before and the finger didn't squish me so im pretty confident i can determine the finger is not a thr-SQUISH

id really like to see someone tie an arachnid or the devil cricket to an asterisk-shaped cross

The day that my family began to move to another house I had to gut the house with said family and I think we massacred a spider population similar to the size of malaysia, and they were pissed.

after day 2 of cleaning I couldn't go 3 steps into my own home without a big shit bastard jumping from out of nowhere to chomp on my neck, and these fuckers didn't have venom and even if they did they decidd on using a more "tearing" motion you see in bears. These spiders just wanted to hurt me as much as they could.
I was sick for a week trying to recover from the venom, it was weak spider venom but I had like 40 bites by the end of day 4

Reminder that spiders are soulless killing machines that would kill and eat you if they liked human flesh.

Oh wtf dude, how did you get so camped?

Also, my spoders aren't around much as I'm not that much messy, so I often let them be or keep them in control.

What kind of spiders were bitting you?

>orb weaver
>everywhere around my fucking house right now
they're cool as fuck, can you take some pics of the ones in your house and post them?

>banana spider

no THANK YOU

if he's the type of spider to roam about there's a decent chance he's the kind of cunt you don't want in your apartment

the harmless ones that eat flies and shit make webs, stay there and don't bother anyone

>jumping from out of nowhere to chomp on my neck, and these fuckers didn't have venom and even if they did they decidd on using a more "tearing" motion you see in bears.

>see them from time to time
>occasionally with webs across entire sidewalks
>try not to think of the abject horror of accidentally walking through one while thanking a god i dont believe in that it didnt happen this time

>mfw I just discovered a centipede in the basement
>go to get the bug spray
>it runs into a little nook under a door jamb
>spray that shit into the crack
>a bunch of baby spiders crawl out and die along with it
s-sorry guys