Imagine you are le #BASED /ourguy/ game developer. You are making a game, you give some info to hype people up...

Imagine you are le #BASED /ourguy/ game developer. You are making a game, you give some info to hype people up, and casuals and SJWs demand:
>there need to be at least 3 difficulty levels, including one that doesn't require ANYTHING from a player to complete (kinda like the auto mode I heard was implemented into some games where character fights on their own and you can't die as long as you move)
>there needs to be le diverse crew in protag's party, at least one of each of those: gay, transsexual, african american, woman, fat
>the story must include the theme of oppression, revolution and poor immigrants running from war and being oppressed
>there needs to be bamham, quest markers, ubisoft towers, fast travel and pop-up tutorial

As a based developer you obviously ain't gonna have any of that shit, but unfortunately your publisher demands that you give in. You HAVE to do the above, but aside of that you can program whatever the fuck you want into the game. What do you do to show the casuals and SJWs the middle finger?

I put in the based kek hat and the based kekistani flag to make fun of those god dang soyboys

Auto mode makes it so the game plays entirely on its own, even skipping cutscenes and dialogue.
Every party member can be sacrified at a certain shrine, Sacrificing the "le diverse" or waifu character nets you larger rewards.

Elect me president and I will supply every home in America with a cute foxxo to pet and give kisses!

>offering foxxo
>posting a picture of a fish

I'd vote for you

>Every party member can be sacrified at a certain shrine, Sacrificing the "le diverse" or waifu character nets you larger rewards
Brilliant idea user.

Also sacrifice should be gory and painful as fuck

Fuck me in the ass, Supreme Champion

>there need to be at least 3 difficulty levels, including one that doesn't require ANYTHING from a player to complete (kinda like the auto mode I heard was implemented into some games where character fights on their own and you can't die as long as you move)
Story mode is a day one DLC.
>there needs to be le diverse crew in protag's party, at least one of each of those: gay, transsexual, african american, woman, fat
Gay guy is in happy relationship already and thus not romanceable, also, he tells that only once somewhere in the banter and he never brings up again. Also, make a sidequest with a bar where he is a wingman. Make him also comment on girls.
Transsexual is optional character and one of the former enemies. Also actually a reverse trap and after side change becomes tomboyish best girl.
Nigger is bro character and him being black is not defining trait.
Woman becomes comic relief or is put in traditional role of party healer.
Fatass is unlikeable jerk because he is trader and generally thinks of himself.
>the story must include the theme of oppression, revolution and poor immigrants running from war and being oppressed
Revolution sidequest lets you side with oppressor and it gives massive perks, mostly money. Both ways are as viable experience wise. Rebelling immigrants after takeover start being oppressors themselves, basically French revolution 2.0.
>there needs to be bamham, quest markers, ubisoft towers, fast travel and pop-up tutorial
Quest markers show only general location. Towers are scarce and act as fast travel conduits. Pop-up tutorial is off by default and needs to be turned on in options. Pop-ups show only once for several seconds, just barely quick for fast readers to read. Bamham doesn't work with RPGs.

What the fuck is a bamham or ubisoft tower?

Easiest difficulty's you watching a developer play the game. Just a fucking video. Normal's like Horizon on Ultra Hard. Hard's AKUMU from The Evil Within.

The gay dude's into rough shit. You find him fucking a kid near the end of the game. You can forgive him. Torture him to death. That kinda shit. Game's gonna be a true RPG. Do whatever the fuck you want. As many options as we have time to code. The shemale's a porn actress. She gets killed by a repressed faggot while whoring herself for extra cash. There's a long ass murder mystery quest. The black chick loves being called a nigger. She wants your dick from the start. You can deny her or make her your slave. Racism's a huge sexual thrill for her. The fat guy's addicted to phone games and porn. You can't rely on him.

Story's about making a good life for you and your crew in a garbage society. You wanna make cash and manage shit. You gotta placate the local gangs. Make money. Shit like that. You can deal drugs. Be a pimp. Be a leader. It's all about the choices you make. You can remain loyal or betray the people you've known your entire life. The government's strong. They've got the technology. You gotta bribe the right people, or they'll put you the fuck down.

Combat can be like Batman or whatever the fuck. The main difference is that you can't fuck up. One wrong move and you're fucking dead. That's what makes those games so fucking boring. It's got the potential to be a good combat system when done right. The rest is fine. We'll have three major skyscrapers you gotta break into. Getting to the top will take a long fucking time. Hacking the computer will unlock a third of the city. Until you've done so, there's no map. No quest markers. Nothing. Just what you see in your field of vision. Can't even see your fucking health. The game goes from stealth and relying on your crew to cautious brawls after controlling an area's skyscraper. I don't know. Thinking on the fly here.

Oh. Let me add. Moral of the story's that life isn't simple. It's rough. Diversity doesn't mean perfection. We're all people. Nothing is clean.

It'll be the kinda game that leaves you feeling like garbage. We'll make it so that savescumming literally gets your save data deleted. It's about learning to live with your decisions.

I would play the shit out of it. Moralfag playthrough would be interesting as fuck.

...

Just make it stupid parody.
Something like both new south park games.

>. We'll have three major skyscrapers you gotta break into. Getting to the top will take a long fucking time. Hacking the computer will unlock a third of the city.

This but combine it with easy difficulty doing everything automatically as you hold W (the game plays itself and you only hold a button all the time and watch). In this mode your character automatically one-shots everything, but there are tons of enemies. Going up in one tower takes an hour of holding W.

>true RPG
Can we spitroast?

Although OP didnt say anything, its obvious we are supposedly developing for blozzard or EA or some shit, so things like just wouldnt fly, regardless how good or bad it is. would probably get the green light from the execs, maybe with some light changes, but then the game releases and you check Sup Forums (since youre apparently ourguy) and you just know youre gonna find 3 threads a day with a picture of the black guy or something with people who wouldnt play the game (I wouldnt either if it was some AAA trash) criticizing the transexual and the gay and the jewery that will inevitably come with those publishers. As good as you think your ideas are, the second you sell your soul to these shit publishers your game will be trash, and also now your ideas are wastes in a trash game. Rip titanfall.
If the thread was something different, like an indie studio who also wanted to include that stuff, you could argue that its vs fault in automatically ignoring the game when some diversity is in it, but with AAA you have no argument to make in its favor.

Game's gonna be a PC exclusive purely due to the fact that you can release Adults Only games on Steam. Hopefully console owners make noise and Sony changes the rules.

Lowest difficulty is called "Game Journalist"
The immigrants all die at the beginning of the game
All that last shit is only in the first difficulty

>easy difficulty level
After you finish the tutorial the credits play.
>diverse crew
Use furries.
>theme of oppression
You play as the oppressor
>needs
Not have the game be an adventure game where those things are detrimental to the experience

this but balance the game without all the quest markers and shit, and lump all that crap in the easy mode

>there need to be at least 3 difficulty levels, including one that doesn't require ANYTHING from a player to complete (kinda like the auto mode I heard was implemented into some games where character fights on their own and you can't die as long as you move)
just call it photo mode and state right in the difficulty menu that it for "visual enjoyment" or something and there is no challenge in game, there was something like this in Uncharted collection and it was no problem
>there needs to be le diverse crew in protag's party, at least one of each of those: gay, transsexual, african american, woman, fat
fat gay and trasnexual african american ftm couple, and they can even be cool characters, even for this SJW Bingo, they don't necessary have to look like Drag Queen championship winners
I have no problem with women if they're written well, so if tranny doesn't count I have no problem adding one or two more
>the story must include the theme of oppression, revolution and poor immigrants running from war and being oppressed
make the game fantasy, with orks being oppresive aggressor, there will be revolution against colaborants ruling protectorate, humans will be running from ork menace
>there needs to be bamham, quest markers, ubisoft towers, fast travel and pop-up tutorial
there's nothing wrong with bamham combat when there is no indicators and you'll be punished for bad timing, quest markers will be just for general areas, not exact fucking sqaure foot, Ubisoft towers will be just 4-5 for whole game and fast travel and pop-up tutorial (in first 30 mintes max) is fine I guess

ever play an ubishit game before? the "really high place" that unlocks more of the map

>AKUMU from The Evil Within

fuck you that was NOT fun

OP here. When I said
>aside of that you can program whatever the fuck you want into the game.
I meant it. Let your fantasies fly

1. During any gameplay or non-prerendered cutscene all the characters will be wearing stupid hats and all the menus are colored a bright neon pink. The player encounters a baby gate in front of the endgame area that they literally cannot bypass and if they glitch through it the game will close itself.
2. The fat dude gets to be a tank and can be a Pretty Cool Dude, the rest of those are optional and can only be unlocked by solving a hidden piano puzzle in the basement of a mansion that you never have to visit.
3. You encounter those immigrants and get good Karma/morality points for purging them or fucking them over, also the natives will appreciate you more. If you don't purge them eventually they start murdering natives, including side quest givers, at random.
4. Bamham combat is an optional unlockable mode after beating the game that lets you fight the basic mook endlessly with it. Quest markers are completely random and don't actually point to anything. If you climb a Ubisoft tower you can't climb back down and have to either reload a previous save or burn a revive item. Fast travel and pop-up tutorial are fine.

I know. I didn't take shit literally. Just rolled with it.

Ironically, a game like that has a ton of potential. It'd sell like fire even as a PC exclusive. Game's got enough controversial shit to fuel journalists for years. I genuinely think they'd come around after realizing that my game's got true diversity. Life's fucked up.

I think the only problem fags here have with diversity is that it's so fucking forced. Look at Mass Effect. It's all so fucking clean. Nobody's flawed. Nobody's homophobic. Nothing ugly ever happens.

I want a game that shows you just how fucking dark life can be. I want a game that fucks with the way you view the world. That makes you feel like shit. That makes you think.

I want players to feel a rush when they realize how fucking endless their options are. You'd be on your third playthrough and realize there's choices you didn't even know about. You can make the most politically correct choices. You can beat the shit out of someone just for being gay. Or black. I want a real RPG. No bias. Just choices.

We'd probably have to use text dialogue or something stupid. The budget would get way the fuck outta hand.

>this is the average PS4cuck

>>there need to be at least 3 difficulty levels, including one that doesn't require ANYTHING from a player to complete (kinda like the auto mode I heard was implemented into some games where character fights on their own and you can't die as long as you move)
Cool, shoiuldn't be hard to implement for people who just want the story.
>>there needs to be le diverse crew in protag's party, at least one of each of those: gay, transsexual, african american, woman, fat
Eh, can be done.
>>the story must include the theme of oppression, revolution and poor immigrants running from war and being oppressed
I like that kind of stories.
>>there needs to be bamham, quest markers, ubisoft towers, fast travel and pop-up tutorial
I buy a gun, shoot the publishers, shoot myself in the head.

nice arguments you got there

I just assumed you wouldn't have time for an actual discussuon, given that your bull is probably going to be there soon.

>easiest difficulty plays credits of game immediately
>fat women are the mounts used for fast travel (silt strider)
>main character is light skinned black who is mistaken for white and gets oppressed by the lesbians and trannies (this is the war/poverty oppression backstory)
>the quest markers resemble the gender symbol for male
>the Ubisoft towers vaguely resemble phalluses that penetrate the glass ceiling skybox of the game
>use tutorial similar to cuphead

I just don't know what exactly rustled you so hard that you had to react

>Make the combat punishing as fuck.
>Blocking is suddenly important.
>Evading is suddenly meaningful.
>Your secondary moves suddenly matter.
>Keeping that combo going is suddenly important.

Shit would make players sweat. It'd be great.

>Make the quest marker an audio queue. You can hear the NPC's heart beating when you're close.

Come on. Use your fucking head.

>Limit it to a few towers.
>Give each one meaningful lore.
>Make each one into a dungeon.
>Give each tower a legit reason for existing.

>Limit fast travel.
>Maybe make it drain life.
>Maybe you gotta sacrifice something important, like a unique weapon or piece of equipment.
>Make it cost cash.
>Make it require the crafting of a powerful, limited item.

You got options.

>Make the tutorial extremely short.

I would make a fat, transexual, gay, negro woman, and also make her as obnoxious as possible.
But you also have the ability to kill NPCs as you see fit, so the player can decide.
If you kill her xhe drops a welfare check.

>BASED /ourguy/ game developer
>your publisher demands
quit and buy bitcoins

>>the quest markers resemble the gender symbol for male
>>the Ubisoft towers vaguely resemble phalluses that penetrate the glass ceiling skybox of the game

Auto mode: A quick(and inaccurate) run-down of the plot and ending are displayed. A Slideshow of only the characters on the boxart doing things that never actually happen like fighting a dragon, as the credits roll by, and a remix of the title theme plays that's performed as a bad/slightly out of key trumpet solo. The whole process will take 30-60 minutes while I go as overboard with the "bloated credits full of people who don't have shit to do with anything" shtick games have been doing since the 360/PS3 era.

All the characters will be whatever they're meant to be, but have a chance to spawn as something else based on IRL population percentages. This goes all ways though, so the canon tranny only has a 0.0005% chance of being a tranny in any given playthrough. VA and dialogue will remain unchanged, these will just be adjustments to status screen data and skin tone.

The setting(or part of it) will be a fantasy/setting parallel to the Puritans, persecuted for their faith by a cold and clinical state-atheistic government with slight communist themes.

The quest markers are placed on the tower nearest the objective, and the only way to directly be shown it is from up top with a zoom-in discovery thing. There will be several enemies up top that spawn when the tower becomes an active marker that you have to take out before you can look around. Fast travel is also only possible from the top of one tower to another. You have a distinct combat advantage if you climb the tower directly as opposed to fast traveling into the middle of the group of enemies.

Hire some tech-savvy vatniks to fuck over the publisher and force them to relinquish the license for the game for almost nothing, hire some shills to shit up the lives of the SJWs and faggots, and do the whole thing on my own. If I can't do that, then
>make the lower difficult levels never go past the first 5 minutes of the game and force you to pay for a $2000 DLC to play the rest of it on easy
>le diversity characters all either become total fucking cannon fodder that die in the first 5 minutes (protag and the rest of the dream meme team just shrug their shoulders and say "They were all shitty people anyways. Not like we give a shit.") or get redpilled halfway through the game (probably just one of the diversity characters. She'll be a mildly attractive black chick)
>oppression is revealed o be just dumb, gay propaganda
>revolutionaries are split into two groups; commies and normal people.
>commies get btfo and are given free helicopter rides
>immigrants are revealed to be 95% horrible people, they all get shit on
>extra features require you to pay an extra $5000 DLC
>credits include a "fuck these people" section, full of the usernames of the SJWs who complained
Don't fuck with my game.

>there needs to be le diverse crew in protag's party, at least one of each of those: gay, transsexual, african american, woman, fat
A bigass bara bro who just loves to hang out and never mentions being gay aside from the few times he goes off to bang some twink. A cute trap girl with a femenine penis. Terry Crews. A hot as fuck mass murdering serial killer. A clumsy thicc girl.

>Towers are scarce and act as fast travel conduits
I had a serious (so not for this thread but I will post anyway) idea for the use of towers as fast travel. Towers are connected by ropes with carts (kinda like ski lifts). A player could cross a vast piece of land in a few minutes, but only between towers (additionally not all towers must be connected). The ride is pretty fast, but not through loading screen, you actually have a ride, so you can look for interesting locations or watch happenings from high above (monsters raiding villages and eating people, something like that). Between closest towers it's a minute or two, but if the world is large enough it can take even 10 minutes between distant towers. Think that scene from The Postman with Kevin Costner.

What you think?

>finds nothing wrong with fast travel
>doesn't give players less content for choosing photo mode as they don't put effort unlike players who actually want a challenge
>reddit spacing
this has to be bait

So you can use the towers as early into the game as you want to? Or how would you encourage players to walk instead of just hop on a tower ride?

No, they wouldn't be available from the get go. There are many possibilities to do that.
>tower not functional, you need to fix it.
>tower is on a rocky hill and dangerous path, and is surrounded by forest full of monsters. Good luck getting there
>tower operator is ded/missing, you need to find him/new one
>you need to gain privileges to get to part of town where tower is (like in Gothic 2 - Khorinis Upper City)
>tower is a skyscraper, basically a location on its own. Before you get to the top, you need to quest/fight your way through.
>etc.

Possibilities are endless. There are actually many ways to make towers more interesting that don't demand much work or time. It shows how fucling lazy developers are. They could do miracles to towers (each one individually for your average open world that has, say, 13 towers) within a week worth of work.