My Switch is Broken?????

>Be me
>Playing Dark Souls Remastered™ on my Nintendo Switch™ while i'm on the bus going to gf's house
>Been stuck on the Great Wolf Sif for the past day or so
>Get him down to about 45% (40% is the lowest i've got him so far)
>Doing well so far, feeling good about this run
>My bus stop comes up (closest one, only about 10 mins walk to GF's apartment)
>People start walking off the bus
>O shit can't pause
>I'm still in the middle of boss, have him down to like 30%
>"Fuck it"
>Decide to stay on bus because I'm really close
>Bus starts moving again
>5 mins later finally kill the fucker
>Missed my stop so I just figure i'll wait until the bus loops back around to my neighborhood.
>Call girlfriend and say sorry that I missed it and can't hang out, but I beat the boss so it's all good
>She says ok and she doesn't mind cuz we can hang out another day
>Get off the bus at stop close to my house and start walking back home
>Drop my fucking Switch™ on the sidewalk
>Screen fuckin does this shit
>Try and restart console but it doesn't help anything
>Immediately call girlfriend to tell her what happened, more pissed off than I have ever been in my life that I just dropped my fucking Ninetndo
>She answers on Facetime
>It's actually a video call of her getting fucked by her friend Jamal
>"What the fuck"
>This fucking nig is fucking my girl like rough in the video and stuff
>She's moaning like crazy
>Dumb nigger puts his face up in the phone camera and holds up copy of Horizon Zero Dawn while he's still slamming my Girlfriend's twat
>Says "Get fucked Nintendie"
>I hang up
>Run home and go to my room
>Switch screen is still fucking fucked
>Gf not answering calls even though I've called her at least 40 times

Now what? What should I do about my gf? She's not answering me on facebook either. Is my Switch even salvagable?

I didn't read this but I assume it was gonna be unfunny autistic shit so I'm just gonna say fuck off all the same.

Did you get an extended warranty?

>somebody actually spent their time writing this
>they probably even thought it would be funny
LOVING
EVERY
LAUGH

Good post

it is

How lonely do you have to be to repost pastas multiple days in a row on vee?

A little too close to home, I see

Holy fuck OP, you seriously expected people to read all that?

this fucking obsession

SOYTHING

>no u r
Excellent argumentative skills you've developed.

Ah, so this is the autism of Nintendo targeted shitposting.

SEETHING

You know you can press the Home button to pause

>>Dumb nigger puts his face up in the phone camera and holds up copy of Horizon Zero Dawn while he's still slamming my Girlfriend's twat
>Says "Get fucked Nintendie"

>nintendo literally living rent free in your mind

lmao

No you can't

>not just hitting the home button

This

nice blog post, heres an upboat

its not cucktendos fault when you get angry because you suc and destroy your console

>30% health remaining
>Five minutes later you beat the boss
Ceaseless Discharge

Someone typed this up 3 days ago.
Then this same faggot or others like him reposted multiple times a day.

You should post this on facebook to get "likes" and "trending" there, normie.