This is your vampire for tonight

This is your vampire for tonight.

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Thanks for the meal.

>be a vampire hunter with no option to betray her and kill her in the end
>tons of waifu dialogue, can't actually waifu her

BRAVO TODD

I hated this character so fucking much.

They couldn't just let vampires be vampires could they? They just had to put in this special snowflake vamp chick who's the daughter of the big bad vamp, but who also acts like a completely human modern witty bitch. They didn't even write her as a vampire with moral principles, just a shitty Mary Sue character.

The anus cherry on this pile of shit character is that she's voiced by Laura Bailey, who's just acting like Laura Bailey.

You can still become a vampire lord with the Dawnguard, why

Because that's Skyrim in a nutshell.

No choice you do actually matter, because choices that matter have consequences, and consequences are bad.

>hey you, vampire hunter, can you help me carry this incredibly powerful and rare object back to my vampire overlord daddy's castle? kthx

You just don't understand the depth and nuance of modern Bethseda writing.

Dont you literally get tested for vampirism after gathering the other chucklefucks and the questline is put on hold until you cure it?

This was fucking inexcusable though.
Especially when the only response to you asking about the elder scroll she's just casually carrying is "It goes with me :^) "
Really fucking bothered me on my DEUS VULT character.

>Vampire girl with an Elder Scroll tells you about a nest of incredibly powerful vampires
>"lmao i dont care i kill u now insted"
Sounds like your Deus Vult vampire slayer was pretty shit tbqhwyf.

Name 1 good (fun, memorable, not written like a 12 year old) quest from skyrim.

I'll wait.

The worst part is the reveal that she's actually the macguffin necessary to complete the ritual and everyone in the Dawnguard (including the player) just let her live instead of killing her right there and ending any chances of daddy vampire fucking up Tamriel.

go to location x and kill y

>defending a plot hole

>vampires start spawning in cities and kill NPCs
>forced to complete the stupid quest line and watch my player character shed a couple dozen IQ points to stop it
>cant even marry any of the dawngaurd soldiers
>cant kill vampire bitch
dawngaurd can fuck off

Jackie Chan

She tells you about the location of the castle 5 seconds after being freed, any vampire hunter would have no further use of her.

That one quest in the very beginning of the game where you need to get something for the mage in whiterun.

Thats the only quest I remember because I had to do it about 100 fucking times to unlock dragons spawning which is always a fucking mistake because fighting them IS NOT FUN.

but i need their loot and they unlock certain parts of the game.

You picked the wrong waifu, my friend.

That one where you go to the burrow and kill a bunch of draugr then find a world wall at the end and a shortcut to the beginning of the barrow.

It's so memorable and fun that Bethesda decided to repeat this quest throughout the game.

The only good thing Dawngaurd did was add crossbows

>wow this quest is pretty fun
>lets have the player do it 6 times in different quests so they can appreciate all the fun we're giving them
>THEY WANTED HAND CRAFTED DUNGEONS
>THEYRE GUNNA GETEM

th-thanks todd

The first time I was fighting a dragon on some mountainside and it did that thing where after taking enough damage it crash-lands and leaves a trail of dirt was pretty cool, especially so as it landed in a way where it worked visually.

The times it happened after that it would do it in a way where it would slide up sone steps or over rocks and would leave jarring gaps in the furrow behind and it looked shit.

No, this is your vampire for tonight.

She gives a vague description like "west of solitude." There's plenty to hate about the Dawnguard storyline, but a competent vampire hunter following an ancient vampire back to its nest, realizing how overwhelmed he is and beating a tactical retreat isn't one of them.

>you will never find out what ENB + mods these are

Imagine if skyrim was developed by capable developers and not "The Ideas Guys"

>having fun fighting dwemer constructs
>start seeing falmer stuff as the dungeon goes on
fuck off I want to have fun

I don't know why, I thought she was actually pretty cute.

More Dwemer puzzle fuckery would have been really nice

A night to remember.
/thread

I thought so too.

She still can suck a mean dick.
Just put a wig on it and you're done.

I absolutely despise the bloomy glowy enviroments in falmer caves.

That one where you kill spiders and draugr in a dungeon, retrieve the object marked with an arrow, and return it to a person marked with an arrow for a few hundred septims.

The ancient elven ruins from oblivion were bettter.

I was bummed out by the total lack of any ancient elven shit. I get its skyrim but even towards high rock it was still just run down caves...

No, this is

The quest where you go on a bender with the Daedric Party prince and have to piece together what the fuck you did while drunk.

As a fun fact you can go straight there without having to pick up the quest first, he tells you to go get it and you can be all "You mean this?" and it immediately progresses to the dragon attack, you miss out on delphine showing up but thats it.
Personally i just noclip my way through the damn place if i want to activate dragons, too damn tedious to do it after the 50th time.

I wanted to marry her, but it wasn't cannon. This left me a great void in my heart Todd.

This is the only one I can think of besides modded quests.

I found that out on my first play through actually since I never do the main quest until its the last thing to do.

At this point I just setstage 200 and skip right to the dragon fight. At least thats quick and sort of fun as in im not wanting to quit the game.

She literally has a fucking elder scroll.
A competent vampire hunter wouldnt risk that getting back to a nest of vampires.

Killing everyone in the Dark Brotherhood is the only choice I can think of off the top of my head that has an actual consequence. And the only real consequence is that you lock yourself out of that questline.

Can i get a 300yo loli vampire?

i stopped playing Skyrim because of this
fuck forced DLC questlines that you need to finish to stop annoying game mechanics

That was my favorite quest in the entire game, especially when I had Gut's sword and slaughtered all of them while I played this in the background.
youtube.com/watch?v=I2rV8oKWSdM

>a competent vampire hunter

*a competent vampire hunter who defeated Alduin, a mythical being straight ouf the old legends, has been single-handedly fighting dragons before becoming a vampire hunter, fully clad in Daedric Armor at this point since everyone's been playing this game for months before the DLC came out and has the power to stop time, tear people to shreds and summon ancient heroes of old just with his voice

Don't put OP MCs in you game if you don't plan on building your story around the fact that the PC is a demigod

I liked how you could randomly stumble upon Jiub in the soul cairn. Even had the same VA and all.

>Dragonborn adds Solstheim a predominantly Dunmer island
>Can only marry Nords
Why?

Yes actually

No cockney marriage dialogue got recorded.

I know, they should have record them though

Good

>most castles in skyrim look like they haven't been maintained in 200 years and are overrun with bandits
>fort dawngaurd, well known for being old and decrepit, is massive and just has some cobwebs hanging around
also
>no siege of fort dawngaurd if you side with the vampire hunters

She has an Elder Scroll. If you don't kill her right on the spot you are insane.

I think I liked Dragonborn more except for Dawnguard's Forgotten Vale. That place was aesthetic as fuck.

Yeah, it seemed like the only purpose of that fort was to have a massive siege later, but they cut it
worst of all it was so ugly and didn't feel like TES, more like generic garbage fantasy

They did much better job with the whole snow elf valley and temple of Auri-El, that felt right

>We want to worship our gods in peace
>95% of the population has adopted the Alessian pantheon

He was at least planning a revival of the ancient Nordic cult right?

>can't marry or fuck Serana
>can't marry or fuck her mother

What was the point of this DLC?

lore

go back to vg and take your shitfu with you

>that pic

Yeah Forgotten Vale was kino. I like how Serana scolds at you if you jump down the stream.

A Night to Remember

Vale was amazing, kind of wish ALL of the Dawnguard dlc took place there instead of it being the end of a very boring and shitty dlc. By the time I got there I just wanted to finish the dlc so Serena would fuck off.
I found 4 of the paragons and wanted to go back to explore what they opened but fuck roaming around that place hoping to find the gates. The place is so large it covers multiple cells so you can never get the whole map revealed, making it infuriatingly hard to find little nooks and crannies.

What the fuck was up with Skyrim's mapping function? Its like they put a z value into it or something, if you jump from a roof forward, it won't reveal that area when you hit the ground, but will reveal it if you climb back up to the roof (but then your automapping will only show little pockets of roofs you've gotten to). Shit made my autism flare constantly.

If you wait to get infected by serana when you go to that spooky dead place I think you can stay vampire.

Legit thought that this guy was voiced by the same VA that voices Ulysseus from NV.

Because you are already a reverse-otherkin where you're a goddamn dragon walking around in a person's body.

Having fangs and drinking blood is small-time shit when you already breathe fire and have urges to torch kingdom's, steal princesses and consume cattle by the dozen.

You also miss out on Marked for Death.

>reverse-otherkin where you're a goddamn dragon walking around in a person's body
I'm hardly an expert on tumblr mental illnesses, but isn't that just a regular otherkin? People who say they're a wolf, or a hippopotamus or whatever trapped in a human body

I thought he was. The redguard in the dark brotherhood is voiced by ThreeDog.

You can't makes posts like this without having the image man. I'm the only one that got it.

Serana a cute.

>Shitty, terribly written annoying stuck up bitch mary sue forced waifu who you can't actually waifu even if you did like her

Honestly the worst character in the entire series. No one in all of Elder Scrolls is as offensively bad in every aspect as Serana.

>vigilant house attacked by vampires
>all the members talking about how the vampires are going to inevitably attack fort dawngaurd
>fortress gets more and more built up as the quest goes on
>real feeling of being holed up for a storm that is on the cusp of breaking
>never get attacked

What were they thinking?

>be a vampire hunter.
>see Obvious vampire coming out of a tomb
>try to kill it but it's an essential npc
>take her back to the Issran.
>rather then wanting to kill her on the spot he tells me to take her back to her home.

And he wiped out all the cliff racers

>Random insignificant guy literally turns into the most BASED character in the series

You can get turned into a vampire for the soul cairn quest.

>my dragonborn should know he's invincible because he knows he's in a video game XDD

Fucking reddit-tier deadpool cancer. kys

>Enter this absolutely huge underground area
>Wow! There must be so much interesting stuff to see and do!
>Nothing to do apart from pick red nirnroot and wake up a dragon

What a waste

The solitude murder questline, actually has multiple outcomes and doesnt rely on a quest marker.

>follow the murderer to the warehouse
>he's supposed to murder a woman in there
>instead they just stare at each other and the murderer got stuck repeating a line
>kill the woman out of frustration
>quest advances and I was able to kill the murderer to finish the quest

There are so many ways you could've even done siege defense with it.

>Using your position as Legate/Stormblade to ask Tullius/Ulfric to send a dispatch of soldiers to help fortify Fort Dawnguard for a coming siege
>Use position as Thane to acquire guards from various holds
>Gain assistance from the Companions as it's Harbinger
>Ask the Restoration teacher College of Winterhold to set up anti-vampire runes around Fort Dawnguard

>ask the thieves guild to get the vampires high on skooma.

and the game makes it so lopsided against the dawnguard rp'er. Its like the third time a vamp blatantly asks if they can turn you, and the only other option was to gimp yourself temporarily.
I went with the Dawnguard because I rp a paladin in anything that'll let me and the game seriously kept asking me to turn to vampirism.

It was one of the worst role playing experiences I have ever had. Almost soured the entire game, what with the random vamp attacks killing npcs happening since I was lvl1 and all to boot.

>vamps get so skoomad out that they just forget sunlight affects them
>in TES that would actually work
Would have been funny honestly.

The one where you wait on top of a lighthouse and midnight and wait for the wood elf to hide his coin stash, so you can steal it for the crooked imperial watch.

I can't think of anything I want more from an Elder Scrolls game than puzzles in the dwemer ruins. Every dwemer dungeon in Skyrim felt the same.

no you don't, that's always on the word wall no matter what. The only items of value you lose are the emperor's clothes (if you want them) that one OP scimitar, and shadowmere.

The only one that felt really unique was the one where you fall in a giant chasm for hundreds of feet into an underground lake, then have to trek back up to the surface.
And even then there was nothing to do and the enemies were your typical draugr shits.

No, THIS is your vampire for tonight

Literally the only companion worth having because of her immortality.
I gave Lidia full dragonbone armor and she died in two hits to a bear. Who okayed companions being so weak in this game?

why would you play this game more than once?

>start unarmed run
>actually kinda fun punching alduin to death
>suddenly level scaling hits hard and everyone can take a hit like a punching bag

What? Lydia can be more useful than Serana later on. They only truly die if you kill them, which can happen quite often because they always get in your way.

>Skyrim vampires got retcon'd thanks to engine limitations
Toodle really needs to get rid of gamebryo

who the fuck stands like that?

>Bethesda
>replacing Gamebryo
Never ever. They're going to keep Frankensteining that shit and we're going to see the same bugs and glitches with every release until either we die or Bethesda does.

Ulfirc wasn't planning shit except taking over a different hold because Windhelm was a crumbling pile of shit full of Dunmer