Job Application

Alright Sup Forumsnets let's have some fun. I was recently applying for jobs and came across one that required a 2000 word essay on why I was a good candidate for the job. Fuck that.
So instead of me writing I'm going to let you write it. You each get 10 words. Make me proud.
Pic is my cat for motivation.

Dear Employers:
I am a huge faggot, please hire me.

No

I need this job because my life is a failed startup.

>2000 words

First paragraph and first sentence of second paragraph should be properly written as dignifies both human reader and writer; remainder should be auto generated buzzwords interspersed with random prepositions and determiners as dignifies both inevitable automatic reader and therefore writer

Hitler did nothing wrong.

I identify as a quadrosexual trans-furry leopard of color.

This is the kind of corp that doesn't deserve to have anyone applying, and go bankrupt, for being such elitist cunts.

inb4 manchild

Fuck off fucking normie, get off Sup Forums if you aren't a manchild.

In 1999, I killed a CIA nigger with my car.

It ain't gonna write itself

>Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo...
continue with 1990 more
>...buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.
Trust me

I will install FOSS on all of the workplace computers.

there will always be some desperate enough niggers to apply, either that or boot lickers.

I'm pretty inclined with my macbook

Ruby is a huge cunt and gave me AIDS permentantely.

as opposed to temporary AIDS that can be healed by raping african children.

It wasn't even worth it procrastinating for this

>either that or boot lickers.

and that's it. The amount of people I have seen apply to work for my employer, that will take dirt for payment and work 10hr days with no lunch break (we work a 7hr day with .5hr lunch break) is amazing.

Have some fucking self respect, people.

let's help user with his essay

one word per post

DEAR

Now hit submit and have it filtered into the garbage because there is profanity in it.

"Well, sir why dont you implement a bfs in this whiteboard please?"

I bet most of you faggots would fail this.

Op here, I can't believe this is still up. Great stuff so far... Could be more cohesive. I should have let you know that the application is actually for a head IT spot at a fucking elementary school. The application alone has an "estimated time to completion" displayed at the top of the page with the average time taken currently at 17 hours and 23 mins... It only pays 14$/hour which is on par with local factory jobs.
What a job.
Also another pic if my cat b/c fuck it

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're

I am very fiscally responsible; I defecate at work to save money on toilet paper at home, plus I'm getting paid to drop a deuce on the job. I am also adept at urinating in sinks and writing witty commentary about management in permanent marker by the toilet paper dispenser.

Nice cat.
I miss my cat.

cute cat

I'm not racist, but spics and Niggers need to hang from trees.

cute cat btw

I am not a registered sex offender. I repeat not registered.

I demand $40 an hour because that's what I deserve.