"user...

>"user, I know you're busy trying to escape reality by constantly installing new software so that you think you're an IT expert but I'm really horny and this teen pussy isn't going to eat itself"

How do you respond?

I am a virgin.
You dont need me

i am not worthy

get the fuck out of my house how did you even get here

"inb4 404, and you aren't real because real girls aren't like that."

Nice try but I'm asexual

youre not worth neck cramps and getting razorburn on my immaculate cheeto riddled chin, drop dead you worthless fucking DOG, only girls whos parents didnt love them want sex

Too busy.
"emerge -uDU --with-bdeps=y @world"

Ye ok F A M.

"Fuck off roast beef"

Why would I wanna eat pussy for?

huh? what? who in the fuck are you? get out of my house before i call the cops

if this isnt your default reaction you are a beta

Do you use GNU/Linux? I won't touch anyone who uses proprietary software.

>not just shooting her for breaking and entering

>killing someone who is in no way a threat to you

coward

My wife didn't tell me we were having another girl over tonight. Just go get yourself something out of the kitchen, and we'll be with you, when she gets home, shortly.

Suspecting that she is going to lure me in a trap to harvest my organs, I shove her away and run.

check out this cool Chink shit that arrived in the post this morning bunnykins

Let me ask the internet

I need you to roll a dexterity check
>1
you slip and plant your face between her breasts. She is practically frothing.

You're fucking right, now get undressed

If it ain't going to eat itself, you better get on inventing some technology to do it for you, bitch.

That's fucking disgusting, Amy. You know I'm asexual anyway. Let's go grab a beer.

FREE PIZZA

Feminist detected

Smirk face and lift her up

/ladies man

but human pussy is fucking overrated

Too old

I wake up from my sleep, because I'm probably dreaming.

She's clearly outside in the pic, fuckface

Suspecting that she is a trap and she wants to lure me into harvesting her organ

but i never go outside so how would i even see her then

"Actually, can you clean my car out instead? That kind of work is beneath me."

What is that table doing there?

Do you not know what a patio is?

>wife
>my

>user, I know you're busy trying to escape reality by constantly installing new software so that you think you're an IT expert but I'm really horny and this teen pussy isn't going to eat itself
I can guarantee you that nobody in history has ever actually said that sentence.

Thing is, the second after you've finished jizzing is the second you lose interest in her. Well, I mean a picture of her of course. Fucking faggot.

Wait! This isn't how it works!

If she is the one showing interest, that means she is the one that has to avoid thousands of unspoken pitfalls and prove her worth through endless trials, before we'd even consider reciprocating with sex.

...right?

nice, good rekt post

Yes. Aka, your wife's daughter

Nice try, FBI

Ayy gurl

What's yo name? Lemme holla

Your dick is actually bigger than mine.

>I can guarantee you that nobody in history has ever actually said that sentence.

Yeah. The mere implication that cute girls would mingle with sub-alphas is ridiculous.