Sister has Lenovo Yoga 500

>sister has Lenovo Yoga 500
>complains about generic Windows problems like "it's slow" or "sometimes some stuff doesn't work"
>today she wants to install Office
>say I'll do it, but I'm busy right now
>tell her to use TPB and that I'll install it for her
>she downloads some Office 2016 torrent from Torrentz
>she tells me her computer started asking her for money and encrypted some stuff
>awhshitnigga.tar.gz
>check it out
>ransomware
>boot loop
>can't access UEFI

So 2 questions (inb4 not ur tek support, go fuck yourself, I help people all the time here).
1 - How do I get into the UEFI from a boot loop? It has that stupid fast boot shit on and goes straight into the post, doesn't wait for a F8 prompt?
2 - What Linux distro should I install?

Also not posting photos of her even though she's a cute redhead.

Other urls found in this thread:

streamable.com/8n5g
products.office.com/en-us/office-online/documents-spreadsheets-presentations-office-online
youtube.com/watch?v=kFPl6QP3F04
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Put linux live cd/usb? Or tear it down format whole hdd?

That involves getting into the BIOS and changing the boot order. Fast boot cancer prevents that from happening.

>Also not posting photos of her even though she's a cute redhead.

Fuck off

If the Linux is for you, use Fedora. (Based on Red Hat, so you know what's up.) If the Linux is for your sister, use elementary OS or Ubuntu MATE.
As far as the computer goes, your pretty much fucked.

>If the Linux is for you, use Fedora. (Based on Red Hat, so you know what's up.)
Surprisingly, this is what I use on both my computers.
>As far as the computer goes, your pretty much fucked.
How do winfags solve these issues? Every single computer I've seen comes with fast boot enabled so I can't be the first person to find this.

Can't you change the settings in the o/s?

unplugging the boot drive from the computer should get it into UEFI and then from there I'm stupid as to what you should do.

remove the battery from the motherboard, let it outside 10 minutes or so, and then insert it again

that will reset everything to 0

I don't know, Windows just fucks up all the time. Hope there wasn't anything that important on the PC. (mfw my temporary cheap laptop has an autistic bios so I can't seem to install Linux.

It uses those M2 integrated SSDs.

Integrated battery, this isn't a thinkpad (which it was). I would try leaving it doing boot loops until the battery shutted itself off, but I found another way on superuser: Fn+F2. Why Fn? Well user, Lenovo decided it was a great idea to have the F row being all function keys by default and only turn into Fnumber with Fn. So Fn+F2 is actually F2.

Probably nudes, Idk. She hangs around with multicultural trash for whatever reason, so I'm assuming they got to her.

Alright, I'm in BIOS. I'm thinking of Ubuntu, does it support Haswell firmware yet?

Try disconnecting the CMOS battery and the hard drive

You guys keep giving great advice for desktops. How the fuck do I remove the CMOS battery from an ultrabook?

Fast boot typically gives up on my system if you reset it a few times at the Windows boot screen.
Or you could, like, tear the HDD out. It would probably try to boot off USB then.

>telling tech illiterates to torrent from theransomwarebay
>telling tech illiterates to torrent ever
are you retarded

Windows 10 will usually show you some "fixing" options if the system fails to boot for a few times. how far into the boot process do you get?

Unscrew the bottom of the laptop?

Again, I would say Ubuntu MATE for her laptop, check it out!
(Also Im no MS expert, there is most likely a way to recover files... (save her nudes boi!))

TPB sorts by highest seeds now, at least she wouldn't get some Russian botnet like the did from Torrentz.

I used the Fn+F2 thing, but doing that would void the warranty, I wanted to avoid having to open it up.

Will do (check out the distro, not save her nudes ffs).

>Hope there wasn't anything that important on the PC.

>He can't use the live CD to copy/paste files over

It's probably not the type of ransomware that encrypts all your files

...

I mean, black mail is a powerful resource...

this

You don't have to save them, you just have to post them.

Now that everything is fixed, will you post pictures of your qt sister?

Tell you what user, if her SSD isn't fully encrypted I'll see what I can do for you.

Good man.

post pics you have taken of her

i have a raging boner right now thinking of your sister. is she australian?

Welcome to Sup Forums.

Unscrew the HDD and format the CMOS battery
Should get you to the BIOS on next boot

Spam the f8 button

Be honest OP, have you ever scored a sweet wincest fuck from her?

streamable.com/8n5g

>streamable.com/8n5g
hawt, is this u?

moar needed

Portuguese.

Shit out of luck, all encrypted.

Have not.

Whats the message or whatever say the price is for letting your shit go?

Some Lenovo shit consumer models have onekey. Use that. Doubt you help people on this board, you sound like a retard OP.

Me again.

Hold shift when you press restart.
Works Even when in login Screen.
Holy shit, you get access to stuff.
I still think you're a tard OP

lmao

>>tell her to use TPB and that I'll install it for her
>>ransomware
>>inb4 not ur tek support, go fuck yourself, I help people all the time here
>>tell her to use TPB
>>I help people all the time here
>>tell her to use TPB
>>I help people all the time here
>>tell her to use TPB
>>I help people all the time here
lol.

install gentoo

>Sup Forums would pay good money for my sister's nudes encryption key

I fixed the boot loop like an hour ago, l2read.

I bet we would, start a gofundme for the price!

>Not asking your sister to pose for a new set of nudes

fag

UGH I know right, he should get right on that.

Never trust computer incompetent people to find the right programs/files to download

Last time I told someone who was looking for an image editor to download GIMP, they googled it and clicked on some sponsored Google ad that went to free-software.info.ru or some shit and they downloaded an exe and i had to spend two hours fixing all their shit

why the fuck would you tell a tech-retard to pirate something?

enjoy your extra work because of your own stupidity.

>getting cucked by your own OS
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA, install GNU/Linux you fucking normie

Retard this is my sister's computer, I use Fedora daily.

It's the MATE guy here again, so what distro are you putting on it?

This is some straight up /g bullshit. Windows users fuck up all the time but that is user issue. I've been using the same Win7 install for 4 years, on a meme ssd drive. I do some risky shit too, torrents, apps from usenet.

You gentoo idiots get on my fucking nerves.

Nah, I don't want to try Gentoo, seems to complex.

>>tell her to use TPB
You just hate your sister for having nice stuff, what an asshole.

>people genuinely want to fuck the girl in pic related
You do not belong on this website.

pay the piper to get your files decrypted

Step 1) Start a really sad looking gofundme page to get the money for the ransomware

Step 2) Post the link here just in case

Step 4) Post her nudes when you get it unlocked

Step 5) ??????

Step 6) Profit

Sure it's your sister op, don't be a fag and admit youre as retarded as those business majors who think they'll land a job after college.

>today she wants to install Office
>say I'll do it, but I'm busy right now
>tell her to use TPB and that I'll install it for her
>she downloads some Office 2016 torrent from Torrentz

You could have just told her to use Office Online for free. Why didn't you?

products.office.com/en-us/office-online/documents-spreadsheets-presentations-office-online

Fine then don't save them post them

Op if you're still here this is what you need to do: remove all the drives. Including the M2 drive. It's not soldered in. It's not integrated, you can pull it out. Then you need to remove the cmos battery, then put it back in. Boot it up, it should allow you to access the bios then. Change the order to boot to a Linux stick first, shut it off, put the drives back in, and boot to the Linux stick.

Pretty sure it's F12 nigga

Serves her right. Now post nudes and fuck off.

OP is retarded. She's better off going to Best Buy then having you fuck things up worse.

>Telling your sister to use a botnet

Maybe if you hated her

Instead he told her to join an actual botnet.

That's his wife, right?

If I really hated her, I would have lead her to running cryptolocker.

My friend shelled out 2 grand for the Lenovo yoga 4k 13.3 convertible release. It came with a 128 gb ssd 4 gb ram and i5, and integrated Intel that literally shit the bed on 4k. After windows install had 70 gbs free. No expandable storage and to replace the keyboard you had to remove the screen then motherboard and 28 screws later the keyboard

There's a tiny recessed button on the side of the laptop,use a paperclip or a toothpick to push it in from a powered down state.

Whos is this semen demon?

Ubuntu Mate 16.04 x64, and then on MATE Tweak choose the Redmond look. Install Chrome or Chromium. I'm assuming she's a normie so 99% of her activities happen in the browser so she prolly won't feel a difference compared to Windows.

Libreoffice will do the trick. I recommend this: youtube.com/watch?v=kFPl6QP3F04

Sorry for the late reply, went with your suggestion. Scaling seems off, but I'll see how she manages it.

>Having to use a paper clip to actually shut off your computer
Does Lenovo just hate its customers?

I believe so.That bios button is fucking cancer.

to get into the bios if it has that fast boot try holding the power button for 4 seconds.

In the future just download open office, it's free and has all the same features.

Have you looked at tpb recently? Tons of malware with 15000+ seeds. Seeders mean nothing when you have your whole botnet to seed with.

Install Elementary OS and format it. It looks very nice and user friendly and wipe the drive.

eOS is a shitty alpha lad, not ready for the average normie by far

>Not posting your cute sister
Good luck decrypting it.

>>tell her to use TPB
>Also not posting photos of her even though she's a cute redhead.
not ur tek support

>I will never have a little sister I can do lewd things to.
Why even live.

>letting woman to set up technology

Now I'm no misogynist but you were literally asking for trouble.

RemixOS is hands down the best Linux variant to use. Tons of features, looks like windows and has all the apps shed like.

hard reset is usually enough

Download current UEFI from Lenovo.
Create Update USB Stick.
Reflash UEFI.
Wipe disk reinstall Windows.

will...
will i go to prison for watching this?

maybe

Mash an fxx key on boot, go through them in order, try delete as well, failing that, replace the hard drive, and reinstall windows or Linux via USB or CD,

Say goodbye to ransomwared encrypted files, however you can access the old hard drive externally and attempt recovery of deleted files with 'recuvra', once you have the files, wipe the old hard drive and reinstall OS on it, transfer recovered files, good as new, requirements: spare hard drive (any size, just temporary), Desktop PC, electronics repair experience, good luck

Oh and also bitch slap sister for being gullable, although we have all been there before

>I unknowingly have 8 different keyloggers installed but it just werks
E P I C
P
I
C

> How do I get into the UEFI from a boot loop?
You can, but if UEFI is damaged, that's another thing.

look at all these virgins getting manipulated

read only the last 3 lines of greentext and stop reading at question #2

i thought this was suppposed to be like 95% gays board, fucking disappointing

No

install manjaro

>why is it wet ?
You silly sista

Have you a second Desktop or Laptop?
If yes,(remove the HDD from the Laptop) connect it to your Dekstop /Laptop and clean it there.
After that replace it again and i think you can enter UEFI again ,to install OS.

you're a fucking idiot for telling a 12 year old girl to download a .exe from a torrent site.. tpb none the less.
>inb4 shes not 12
>They're all 12.

>develop ransomware
>have logs of encrypted machines
>90% sure I have your key.
>willing to trade for pics pf cute redhead

by taking the bottom off and removing the god damn battery, moron.

Laptops still use CMOS batteries, usually attached with a little cable.

who's the idiot here? the one who knows nothing about computers, or the one who gave responsibility regarding computers to one who knows nothing about computers?

Sup Forums - definitely not tech support