Grinds my gears: Sup Forums edition

>Looking up issue for my phone that is stumping me

>Find forum post detailing my exact problem

>First post is almost always "I don't know. Sorry" or some variation

>"Never had that problem"

>"Log in to see answers"

>nvm, fixed

>fixed, mods pls mark as solved
>NEVER POSTS SOLUTION

>there's already a thread, use the search function, closed

Holy fuck, this more than anything else pisses me off.

>Welcome to our site!
>You can now use your account with the following user/password combination
>username:
>password:

>there's already a thread about this, closed
>searches thread
>"yah me too i have the same problem!!!" x25
>last post was a year ago

>"yea, I had that too. Check your PM for the fix"

>use the search function
>you have to log in to use it

Actual solution buried 90 replies down, chosen "Solution" that is highlighted and placed high on the page is from an employee of the site and is a generic troubleshooting reply.

>google error message
>first result is some random forum
>first replay is from some 10,000 post fag: "Next time use Google first."

>i had that problem once, here's the fix:
>megaupload link

>question asked by someone with 1 post
>you registered only for this? closed

>lol herez tha solution... k thx bai
>You have to be signed in to view download links.
WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS ANYMORE?
What a shitty tactic to get users. All they're going to do is download the file and forget about the fucking website.

What's WORSE...
>all the other users suck user w/10k posts' dick
>"lol u sure got em there!!!"
>"BTFO"
>"yah man use google furst!!!"
Fuck off. I just want ACTUAL ANSWERS, NOT PISS POOR MEME ANSWERS.

...

MICROSOFT

Some forums have a minimum post requirement like 20 replies before you can use the help section. People just shitpost to reach the minimum and inflate the website activity.

>hey guys, I wrote this incredibly specific and useful script that it's right what you just need
>You have to be signed in to view links
>you can't use a temporal email
>your password has to contain a number, a symbol, upper and lower case characters
>click link
>"This page cannot be found"

I don't go here to ask tech-related questions, though.

Literally every post on MSDN

>>you can't use a temporal email
Never had a website do this.

mailinator is banned from many places

>file divided into 12 parts
>part 7 is missing

use throwawaymail.com, user
or guerrilla mail

Correct me if i'm wrong but assuming the connection is encrypted there isn't too much bad about that, right? If the plaintext password is only ever in RAM and they only permanently store the hash then the only added security problem is the transmitting of the plaintext password, which can be negated with proper encryption.
Or they are just fucking idiots and store your password in plain text and send it over HTTP, then you are just fucked.

also banned

best is 10minutemail because they change their domain all the time

>>First post is almost always "I don't know. Sorry" or some variation

People rarely provide solutions.

"My name is Pajeet with Xxx Corp support, please follow the steps in this *completely* unrelated guide on our website"

"Why are you trying to do that?" (almost never leads to a productive outcome)

"I don't know the answer to that, but let me nitpick some things that I don't understand about the rest of your system, based on a sentence fragment that triggered me"

"Haha wieners" (or similarly retarded joke, derailing because they have nothing to contribute)

Pro tip: Look up a throw away email service in another language if all the english ones are banned.

>also banned

3.5GB 970 MEME IN ANY COMPETITIVE ENVIROMENT

Oh, and I forgot my favorite:

>google "how to X Y Z"
>first result
>StackOverflow
>summary: "how to X Y Z?"
>excitedly click link
>question closed as off topic according to our site guidelines
>stupid fucking mod didn't understand the questions, so assumed it was off-topic


Fuck Stack Overflow. All it did was destroy discourse, fuel cut-n-paste Pajeets, and monopolize the top search results. ExpertSexChange was annoying, but SO is worse.

>I just want ACTUAL ANSWERS, NOT PISS POOR MEME ANSWERS.
yet you're still here.

see

>implying I come here for answers

Sure it is possible, I mean anything possible with software.

But I'm also sure that the sec guy who could pull that off correctly, would also be in favor of having that password never leaving that registration page.

If you already have the user email - make a password reset request possible

>Sup Forums is NOT your personal tech support team or personal consumer review site.
What a bunch of faggots. My broken Windows installation is technology related.

>make a account to view the link
>megaupload, or "this link was deleted by the owner", or whatever

I swear to God this happens every single time.

Jesus Fuck I hate this. Especially when people ask why I'm trying to do something. Though that helps weed out who can actually help and who is a dumb fuck because the ones that know how to do it will typically know why I'd want to.

The nitpicking though... That is the worst. It's like:

>ask how to keep laptop lid from constantly hibernating even after telling it to ignore the lid in the GUI
>"BUT WHY DID YOU BUY A LAPTOP WITH AN AMD A8 INSTEAD OF AN INTEL I5?"
>b-but that has nothing to do with my question!

(It's actually a systemd issue where you need to set HandleLidSwitch=ignore in /etc/systemd/logind.conf ... Don't want to be one of those dicks that knows the solution and doesn't post it)

>nvm fixed it

How is that a systemd when I don't experience this issue?

You should have went with an i5.

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS
ARE THEY FUCKING UNDERAGE RRRRRREEOSAAYHFOPIUFG

and take your goblin with you.

But m-muh spoonfeeding

Try being me: do to ergonomic issues, I play PC games using an XBox controller. Yes, I know that a mouse and keyboard are much more precise. I still place mid-pack in my weekly gaming group.

If I ever dare ask:
> my XBox controller stopped working with this game. How can I fix it?

I get an endless stream of "ur just gonna get pwned by the mouse and keyboard guys!"

Sometimes people just want answers to questions that others find unpalatable...

>"Hi , we really value your questions and we want to help you out with a solution today. First of all can I ask if you have updated windows and your antivirus recently?"

Especially annoying when that has nothing to do with the question you posted anyway

>this software crashes catastrophically on X hardware
>well I never had a problem so it's your fault not the software's

>just post your full specs full of irrelevant information bro!
>never replies back

On the other side of that:

>your program crashes on my system, why?
>I don't know. You're literally the only one in fifteen thousand active users who has ever had this problem.

Then they get mad. You're not going to ship me your weird, fucked up PC so I can examine it, so it's not like there's anywhere we can go with it.

I don't understand what you're trying to convey here.

>have a really simple issue
>can only find overly complicated problems similar to mine, with no one bothering to help

>ask question on SQT
>completely ignored
>create thread asking question
>get helpful responses
>get banned

Good job, Sup Forums.

That's on you for asking why your Minecraft doesn't work with your Xbox controller on reddit and tomshardware.

>get banned
Does that even happen?

Yes.

>Sup Forums gets mad when their family/friends expect free tech support from them
>simultaneously expects free professional tech support from random forums

>expecting tech support from Sup Forums sometimes
>giving tech support to Sup Forums at other times
>like how I give tech support to my mom sometimes
>and she gives me a handjob sometimes

Wait dude what

Pretty standard mom stuff, dude. You should help out more often.

>>Find forum post
>forum

A good number of times it is precisely because it is a forum. The post is actually helping because it is bumping the thread back to the front page.

learn to google

>please register to see answers
Fuck. Sure.
>never had that problem
>hehehe why do that do this (and have fucked quality video/audio/file? sure.)
why?

>tumblr_njvt2fU27z1u1eakso1_400.png

>Finds solution on forum
>Download link
>Downloads
>Turns out it's actually malware
>Gets locked out of PC
>Has to remove malware through Safe Mode

>on microsoft answers
>guy clearly points to a bug in windows
>pajeet MVP answers to run sfc scan
>other people confirm the issue
>pajeet comes back telling him to try with a recovery disc

How incompetent are those idiots at miscrosoft answers??

>"Oh, that thing? It's by design"

>Caring where a Google searches image comes from
People, this is why early detectionof autism in kids early

>"I just want something simple. Nobody is even going to use this feature."
>"WTF, it can't even do XYZ. Why do they keep taking away features?"

How do you even find yourself in this position?

Ignore any response that isn't from an actual developer - those people aren't even QA, they're a step below QA, some mix between PR and QA with no training in either.

Fucking this, also
>"Log in to see attachments"

>"Learn to use google fuck head, thread locked."
>Thread is the first result on google.

>You must make 25 posts before you can view links.

>ask question on SQT
>completely ignored
>ask same question in next SQT
>Get called out and told to fuck off

lern to guugle

Some malware have to be removed via Safe Mode.

Nice trips

Haven't sorted my drives in a while, so downloaded a smug face. What is wrong?
>inb4 MUH 4CHUN
I don't care. Google gave me this.

Holy fuck, this was the bane of my existence.

>"Report broken links and they will be fixed or replaced."
>Report link.
>Never fixed or replaced.

>Please run a HijackThis scan and post the full log here

this is fucking actual hell

> pm me your email so I can send you the fix

from a company employee?? why not just WRITE IT IN THE FUCKING THREAD