*BOOM BOOM CRASH*

*BOOM BOOM CRASH*

FREEZE
I SAID FREEZE
HANDS IN THE AIR

FIND THE HARD DRIVE

wat do?

Other urls found in this thread:

kali.org/tutorials/emergency-self-destruction-luks-kali/
twitter.com/AnonBabble

*rolls over in bed seductively*
i-i could be ur gf tonight officer...

It's too late.

This ip address was spoofed behind 7 proxies leeched off Starbucks wi-fi.

*camera pans to my actual location*

*hands up*
*on the ground*
*panic*
*dindu nuffin*
*relax*
Jesus I'm not a pedo or anything you dork

>y-you too

I'll write a GUI in visual basic to track the killer's IP address

They would just detain me at work, no need to risk a potentially violent raid.

Fight them. My prowess in hand to hand combat is without equal.

I'M A DIRTY FUCKO I KNOW OFFICERS I'M SORRY I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF!

...

>hard drive
we're on ssds now, it's the current year

Hammertime

we will we will rock you

Kek'd

underrated post

Noooooo my game saves......

yank the ac adapter and pull the batteries from my laptops then ask for my lawyer and say i don't understand my rights as they are read to me

ITS AN SSD YOU FUCKWITS

*suicide*

...

>doing anything while a cop has a gun to you

You mean get shot while you tamper with evidence, because that's exactly what will happen.

>>wat do?
Find the hard drive just like my commander ordered
Dah

w-why are you SPEAKING TO ME IN ENGLISH!?

Look at that fucking schnoz

"IF YOU TOUCH THAT HARD DRIVE YOUR MOTHER WILL DIE UNLESS YOU REPOST THIS WITHIN 24 HOURS"

>they kick down my door
>i'm asleep
>they grab my thinkpad and all of my hardware
>they come back a day later
>"what the fuck is this 'btrfs root error'?"
>turns out ganoo linucks saved me by losing all of my files
thx stallman

>Police enter
>I move at the speed of light
>The flash of light as I pull my Katana
>Unsheathed and glorious
>I teleport behind the office
Nothing personal officer
>The lights go out
>The flash of of a blade
>screams fade to silence

I slowly spell a passcode to my voice-activated auto-destruct mechanism , which will detonate an EMP bomb and a small nuclear bomb

I thought you couldn't be compelled to provide the key to an encrypted device - why were the feds asking Apple to write a backdoor if they could just compel the suspect? or was that guy just willing to take the charges for not complying w/ the demand?

I put them in the air as if i just don't care

>btrfs
nice lmao

>compel the suspect
what suspect ? wasn't he dead ?

what is this from?

Hey I have that same table from Ikea.

Oh. As is probably obvious I don't follow the news very much. I was just tangentially aware of the situation. Looking it up, you're right.

Some investigation seems to suggest that currently in the US you at least need a court order to compel a suspect to give the key to some encrypted data - and the requirements to get the court order can be quite high: evidence the prosecution knows what the data contains, evidence the suspect does in fact know the key, evidence that the files in question genuinely are what they're claiming them to be, etc.

>THE CORE

>evidence the suspect does in fact know the key


Big cases can take months? What happens if they have evidence that the suspect knew the key at the start of the court case, but he forgot it by the time they actually get around to getting it from him?

> spell a passcode
> not having trackir activate self destruction because HANDS IN THE AIR
Do you even technology?

...

L-Lewd...

This actually just happened in my house . Some guy "accidentally" downloaded cp through a file sharing website

I'M TRYING TO MASTURBATE GET THE FUCK OUT! !!!!

> accidentally
In some p2p networks such as edonkey or dc it is more common than you think.

>yank the ac adapter
Volatile memory decays slower without ground, you fucked up.

>Looking for a HDD, top kek.
>Year of our lord 2016
>Get with the time coppers.
>Don't you know that SSDs are multiple orders of magnitude faster than...

Then sue them for taking my SSDs, since they clearly only had a warrant to snatch any and all hard drives.

I tell them my nuke password. kali.org/tutorials/emergency-self-destruction-luks-kali/

I don't have anything to hide tbqh, but as I'm taking notes with pen and paper I have nothing else to lose than dank memes and a setup I wouldn't call fine-grained, but that I still like.

(Please don't burn yourself I'm leaving thxbai)

wait, which hard drive
I have a lot of those things

They need another kind of warrant, yeah.

Which of my 15 HDDs or 2 SSDs do you want, officer?

Alterntivel, i could drop 2 of my raid 5 hdd's and it should be all fucked.

allahu akbar

...

>the cops will never be the same
you think they don't see fucked up shit like that?

>plastic bag with gasoline
Fuck manga writers are so fucking dumb.

also readers

Shout "I DINDU NUFFIN WE WUZ KIANGZZZZ EN SHJIIEETS"

>FREEZE
>HANDS IN THE AIR
>FIND THE HARD DRIVE
Does not compute.

M-MUST BACKUP O-OBSCURE ANIME

Underrated comment

Note to self: never again take pics standing in front of the mirror.

i live upstairs from the front door so i'll have a few moments

First post is best post.

>stop bothering me

Holy shit, the amount of pedos

You freeze, duh... :D

>FREEZE
>I SAID FREEZE

>nuke password

that is cool. When I was younger I always thought of two passwords. One to acess data, and another to remove it, I used simple if statement (noob programmer at the time) Glad to see its being used more often.

>THE CORE
THANK YOU user, TORRENTING RIGHT NOW

>TORRENTING

a few months ago i was trying to implement this but lost interest because of the fucking heat

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker.

Not funny, I actually got my friend arrested like that when I was younger, used the same FBI web interface to report his address because he was torrenting games and movies and I was jealous of his gaming rig.

>bag of gasoline
Topkek

that's pretty funny user, what happened after he was arrested?

Guantanamo Bay, they also found ties to Al Quaida on his PC

Thing weren't that bad back then, internet ban and a fine.

Thank you for you service.

Wouldn't work, all government agencies are obligated by law to use a write blocker device (physical devices that goes between PC and disk and blocks all write commands) or chain of custody will be broken.

put my hands in the air and let them find the hard drive?

>internet ban
wow how cucked

>sitting in chair
>put hands in air
>"you assholes got a warrant"?
>tap shut off switch to the power strip that all my electronics are plugged into with my foot
>everything's encrypted
>"So where's that warrant bois?"

o-officer, a-all my data is in the cloud.

>FIND THE HARD DRIVE
no HDD here Sir
just SSD
move along

>>tap shut off switch to the power strip that all my electronics are plugged into with my foot
Pleb
>Not having sensor cut the power if i get up from my chair without securing the circuit with the lock pin
>Not having a wireless relay turn of every circuit in the fusebox if someone opens the front door without putting in the lock pin
>Not having motion sensor cut the power if someone opens the door to my server cabinet

I mean I could probably rig something up with my RFID implant in my hand.

Have a reader embedded in the desktop or something

You think they will break down your door before having a warrant? Are you 12?

>RFID implant in my hand.
Good goi

Hey if I'm going to jail. I'm going to be a cocky shit about it all the way to my cell, it's better for personal morale.

Why are you going to jail, user? What did they find?

>cocky shit about it all the way to my cell
Nobody gives a fuck, they deal with faggots like you by the dozens every day.

>officer confuses the jet black dragon dildo you're holding for a gun
>ripperoni

>Hey if I'm going to jail.
They love pedofiles there, good luck!

>he still thinks you need a reason to go to jail

Sure, it's only for my own entertainment 72 hours in solitary is boring yo

world police

I know that even if you didn't break any laws, they have a reason for planting evidence.

Good luck, all my illegal shit is on MFM drives, you bloody niggers don't even know what they are.

I'm sure the feds know what that is.

I have one too!
NFC in left, 125khz in right, you?

xNT NFC in the left at the moment

Sure thing, when it's just sitting on my shelf without a controller or font plastic.

>Take it back to [REDACTED]
>Plug it into 30 year old machine they have for this exact reason

Good thing I knew they were coming, I backed up the data onto a microSD card and formatted the HDD, then shoved the card up my ass. They'll never know!