Can I use your laptop user?

>Can I use your laptop user?
>I need to check something online
>Hope you don't mind

no

>sorry do i know you?

I live next to your home silly XD

Wait I'm hiding my porn

Just let me log on for you :)
(use guest account for her)
Here! You want some coffee?

Umm user I need to use administrative rights for some software
What's your password?

social engineered
get rekt
your computer is now google botnet

>ctrl shift delete

here

S-sorry but physical access is total access and I need to get back home before mom gets worried.

>Uh, yeah sure
>turns on laptop
>logs into console
>X is broken
>Chad offers to let her use his laptop instead
>Windows 10 boots up
>it works

>can I use your laptop user?
>laptop
>implying I own one
fuck off roastie, I never leave my room, why should I have a laptop?

how bout u use this dik

>unzips penis

>implying she would be able to run her exes

>tfw you realise you didn't delete the browser history

also
>turns on keylogger
>stalks out her life, orbiters etc

>trims neckbeard
>overcomes autism
>reinstalls Windows
>gets job and qt3.14 gf

Sure no prob girl, damn you a sweet thang. How bout coming back to my pad later so we can talk about gentoo?

Meet hot girls in your area.

>yeah sure
>user, where's the start menu?
>there isn't one, this is running linux
>user, where's the mousepad?
>i don't use a mousepad
>user, where are your icons where's the internet???
>i don't use icons
>umm okayyyyy nevermind >.>
>she literally starts asks another guy with a macbook who's across the table from me

I'm so slick. I haven't talked to a girl ever since.

> c-can I smell your hair?

kek

>laptop

WAHAHAHAHAHA

>implying bitches don't just use smartphones to check the "internet"

>not lasciviously licking the mouse clit and saying "right here" as you gently fondle it with your index when she asks about the mousepad
That's why you don't get the girls

>settling for a hair sniff
>not demanding a butthole sniff

This is why you're still single. Girls want confident guys.

But she won't find the start menu on a macbook either.

>unzips penis

Sure... Don't mind the anime... They are all over 18, they just look young.

here use these dry wipes, don't pound on the keyes. Don't pick it up like that. No that's not "hentai", its anime. Whydid you open google to search for facebook??

topkek

fucking childhood friends

Yes, that's the idea.

This is the reason why I still keep windows as dual boot option. Well, that and random frisks.

>wasting hard drive space
>wasting time
>all because you're afraid to say 'no'

Saying no wastes considerably more of your time. I've seen people try.

s-sure... [gives her plebtop]. WAIT, don't open tha-
>what are these!?
t-they're nothing, just
>[runs away in disgust]

Fuck off, you've got grease from those burgers on your fingers. I've got an netbook you can use instead, but wash your hands first you messy bitch.

>nope nope nope be strong
>omg irl 3d gril

Nahhhhh

Who is this semen demon?

The girl who used my laptop.

Use your phone, it's not 2005 any more.

I have a mac. You have no power here.

no, sorry, I wouldn't feel comfortable with letting other people use my PC

My X200 doesn't have a trackpad and most are confused by the clit.

>switching to guest account

Sure. What are you checking on?

> finishes switching to Guest

Here you go.

I wish there were a command-line parameter for iceweasel that would actually create a profile. There's only one for using an existing one.

iceweasel --profile /tmp/qtpiprofile

You live in Anonymous Proxy too?

>"Can I use your laptop"
>"Sure. The porns right here."
>"Um, I wanted to check my email".

>"using a computer"
>"not watching porn"
>"2011+5"

>Set up non-privileged guest account
"Sure here you go."

Alternatively:
>Hand chromebook
"Sure here you go."

This is why you keep multiple user account.

sure, one sec
>clicks username in top bar
>clicks "Guest User"
>passes it over

>no wait, dont log out, i'll just be a second :)

Looking at that laptop, I understand why it is called predator. Fucking pedophiles.

It takes me literally two seconds to click the Guest User button. Takes maybe 5 more to load into the guest account, and I can't cancel it once I've clicked it. By the time she finished saying that, it would be ready to use.

This is just a non-issue with well-designed OSs like OSX.

>she won't find the start menu on a macbook either

But, she will be banging him later tonight.

>YFW you realize
> this isn't about the Start menu
> it never was

or Ubuntu!

>useradd newgf
Here... y-you too

>predator

I bet you masturbate to cuck porn too

I don't have a laptop. Fuck off, you retarded cunt.

>open internet explorer
here you go sweety

you dont have a phone ?

>no, who the fuck are you? go away before I call the police

What do you need to check? I can check it out for you.

I wish to predate and impregnate Miyu.

>tfw i have a keylogger on my laptop for this very reason
>tfw no one has ever asked to use it

-_-

Toilet posting. Bed posting, Bath posting.

>sure
>jokes on her I always delete my browsing history before I go outside
>unless I forgot
>oh god did I forget
>oh god oh shit oh god what if I forgot
>I should have just said no
>stew in nervousness the for the rest of the time
>go home and make a post on Sup Forums about how I totally wasn't a total spaz and she'll be my gf any day now

Alpha as fuck amirite guys?

This is how I've gotten a bunch of nudes a few times, so I always have the guest account ready.

>not pondering the meaning of life and the universe while taking a huge shit

Fucking casuals.

Have you tried looking less like a creepy pervert?

It was about her wanting to have somebody's dock rub on her start button.

he's got a keylogger for this situation, you know the answer to that.

You'd be surprised what a shower a shave and a haircut can do for even the creepiest looking of perverts.

I know what it can, do, the issue if if that other user can.

Thank fuck I only use my laptop for school and some games. I do all my shitposting on my desktop.

>"K"
>boot up VMware Windows 10
>ctrl + F

Seriously what do you guys have to hide anime isn't even that bad these days

>Have a MBP
>It takes literally 2 seconds to switch to a guest user in OSX

Zero fucks given. Anything that would require an Administrator password is beyond the scope of "checking something online"

i only watch cute girls doing cute things anime

>usually use chromium
>open up firefox
>doesn't have my normie-horrifying history/autocomplete suggestions

Yeah here ya go.

Alt+2 Alt+d goog enter
don't mind the unclickable bar at the bottom

This. I don't even laptop.

Haha fuck you no.

>Unity

How fucking hard would it have been to pop open your browser and show her the clit in the process, you literal sperglord?

>Mein neger

>mfw I am chad
>mfw I have a more autistic laptop than all the fucks in my cs courses

SOCIAL ENGINEERING

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

made me laugh, user

Google chrome?

you're not chad.

tfw chad so girls wouldnt shit test me like this

>implying she doesn't have videos of girls being choked and fucked in the ass on her computer
>implying she doesn't want to be choked and fucked in the ass
>implying that isn't going to happen as soon as she finds my collection of girls being choked and fucked in the ass

Protip: Answering yes is a good way to get your shit stolen.

>random frisks

What?

>"Sure, you can try!"
Swap to desktop on i3 and watch as she cant do anything.

I'm pretty sure a person asking this would assume you just tilt the screen towards them so they can open browser and bus schedules or Wikipedia or something. No one is going to wait "hehe I'll just boot my VM/dual boot OS/another DE first, just a little longer, ok now you can use it". They would have a smartphone anyway but it's easier to read on a bigger screen, if it becomes a hassle then the smartphone is better anyway.

>Can I use your pussy?
>Hope you don't mind