Dumbass tech stories

Post em
>40 year old woman calls me up cause my mom gave her my number for computer stuff
>Surewhatever
>"user can you help me out? My computer is slow and I don't know what do"
>"sure why not. I'm bored"
>Goes and checks out her computer
>toolbar city, including Bonzi buddy
>Notta damn clue what she's doin
>ask me to make it good again
>k then
>do shit to her PC
>tell her I'll need to take it over night
>She gets scared but I pick up her pc and start walking
>She hugs the monitor "Oh good, you're not taking my files with you!"
>Please tell me she's not this stupid
>She has a stack of woman's weekly on her TV
>she's this stupid
>"Don't worry, I got I got your files"
>"I'll take you out to eat when you get done as a thanks!"
>"sure why not!"
>Next week
>she calls me again
>"user! MY COMPUTER DONE CRASHDED WHAT DO?"
>Check her computer.
>All the same shit is back but this time she got the "I love you virus"
>turn off her computer tell her, "you need a new computer."
>"You mean you can't fix it?"
>"Your computer is fried."
I could do it I just couldn't handle the stupid

>Cougar makes three runs at getting some sweet nerd ass
>Captain OPlivious misses it errytime

The stupid is closer to home, OP

>OP didn't bother securing her PC to prevent the problem because he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing
>Calls clueless woman dumb when he's clueless himself

Great thread faggot

>Captain OPlivious

This thread is pigslop but I had to acknowledge this pearl. Well done, user-kun.

she's in her 40s, I'm not tappin that. I'm 25

Shes the also crazy and a smoker and it shows

How does it feel knowing your mom tried to pimp you at to someone almost twice your age

noone will ever love you, you might as well

Nah, it's a book club.

Nah. My wife would say other wise.

Your fake wife doesn't love your either.
Even cartoons cheat on you.

>doesn't believe I'm Married

I know your life sucks user, but that doesn't mean you should take it out on others. It's ok. I get it, I was like you at one time too. Then I finally grew up.

Why didn't you fug her?

When i was in college i made some "capacitor arrows" with capacitors that were left from my projects and once i shot an arrow with super capacitor, but it was an accident and i accidentally powered up someone else's project, it was pretty neat.

The bow was just wood

>I'm 25
5 more years and you'll bee a wizard!

she should have got a mac

"Oh, Carol. Please tell Andy that I really appreciate his efforts in fixing my computer. I think I'm going to have to get one of those new virus free computers. What are those called, McIness computers or something?"

If she is purposely downloading malware, that won't be solved by using a Mac.

maybe just cancel her internet subscription, then, also glue every IO port

Throw the computer out the window and give her some paper.

Scratch that. Give her some rocks.

replace it with a fax machine and a dumbphone
she might not even notice

>>Please tell me she's not this stupid
This, OP, is you in any other field except IT.
If your car breaks, if your plumbing misfires, if there's a smell of gas, what do you do?

Do you mean car misfires and plumbing breaks, user? Because if not then you are just as retarded as you proclaim OP is.

>I love you virus
>25 years old

This story must be old as fuck

lmfao I'm 24 and I'd tap a 55 year old, go look at sandra bullock, fucking smoking hot.

Ya know, I wish, but due to getting laid in highschool that will never happen :(
No acceptance letter to Hogwarts for me

>Is on the internet
>he thinks everyone is a virgin cause he is
user, you may speak, why are you so salty tonight?

lol

All of those are technically trick questions because that could be several things.

Cars? I don't know honestly anything
plumbing? Depends on what went wrong. Could be clogged, could be a pipe issue
Gas? More than likely a kink in the hose or even something it came loose

Tell me user, how good are you at cooking? What about sewing?
those are my areas of expertise

it is actually. It happened when I was a teen

Eh, I mean maybe, I dunno. But this woman next door was in her 40s, I was a teen at the time... I'd say a lot of them don't really get the hint cause they are older than they are.

I mean think of it like this, if you were 15, or something and a 42 year old MILF wants to fuck you. I would of never thought of it, most wont. And don't use the excuse of"Oh man! I so would!" cause most teens never really get the point of sex in the first place. we all start out bad, not knowing what the hell to do.

>she's in her 40s, I'm not tappin that. I'm 25
is there a law or age limit i am not aware of?

My first fuck was at 18 with a 45 year old.

I was a teenager, I wasn't 18 at the time.
Technically it is against the law.
But, good job for you dude.

>I was a teenager, I wasn't 18 at the time.
So??
>Technically it is against the law.
Who gives a fuck? She didn't rape you did she?

>namefag
>not a virgin
>current year
why do normalfags browse Sup Forums?

>be a sysadmin
>go on Sup Forums
>read a story of a babby tier tech wannabe complain about tech illiterate 80% as smart as them

Nah but you know if it were the other way around it would be.
I chalk it up to "not knowing shit"

nah, I wish I was normal, I wouldn't be living where I'm living on a minimum wage job supporting my damn hobbies.
I don't REMOTELY have a normie life.

I just don't have an EXTRA nerdy loser life like 1/2 of Sup Forums. I've been here for years. Sorry you're a virgin loser who can't even say hi to girls without stuttering and wanting to go on about your dead bug collection.

But hey user, I'm optimistic, maybe you'll find someone. There's someone out there for everyone...right?

it wasn't even really about being smart. A lot of it is like first hand knowledge. You don't have to be a genius to know how a computer works. It just takes a person that can read google how to fix it. No matter the problem, someone has already got the answer. Why do you think /sqt/ exists. I never claim to be "smart" but hell, I can figure it out eventually.

>being a virgin makes you a loser
and you claim you're not a normalfag

Not at all, but when you act the way you do it does.

For those who can keep virginity till they are married, I applaud them. Trust me user, I lost my virginity in a place I wish I never had, cause it put me thru so much shit that was horrifying.

No it wasn't with a guy. Nor with a priest.

If you are, just don't sit there and go "Well I'm a virgin, CLEARLY everyone else on the internet is!"

>on the internet all the time
>clearly no sex life
Then again, you forget we have internet on basically everything, even on the wii u you can get on Sup Forums. (I've done it)

You ever go to the zoo and see idiot rednecks or niggers laughing at how stupid the monkeys are?

>Nah but you know if it were the other way around it would be.

But it wasn't was it? Quit being a faggot and fuck the milf when she hits on you.

Guess what user, I have more tech knowledge in my mid career than you will ever have in your lifetime and I've encountered users that can't even figure out that their monitor is off.

That being said, coming to a chinese cartoon forum to yuck it up about how dumb some people are because they can't into computers only makes you look pathetic.

>namefagging for no reason
>blogging on an anonymous imageboard for petty reasons
>disparaging virgins
>implying implications that don't exist
how can one be so ignorant of their normalcy?

I'd like to see OP handle a corporate network. Removing viruses is nothing compared to network design and management.

he's autistic and doesnt know it yet

Why you anons so salty tonight?

Normally Sup Forums isn't this bad.

Sup Forums is filled with morons

Normally, I come to Sup Forums and people normally laugh with me, no matter how dumb a tech story thread is, people normally post stories. But tonight, for some reason, these anons are super salty and I don't know why. I feel bad for them. Like their lives are shitty so they can't just get on the internet to have fun, instead they get on and have to take it out on others.

If you're mad, just say why your mad. I'll listen to you. Maybe that's all people need.

>can't tell he's being told to fuck off
maybe you are autistic

nah, I know when people are feeling upset user. It's ok. I know you're mad about life but that doesn't mean you need to be a complete jerk off about it.

So user, why are you mad?

I'm mad because Sup Forums used to be filled with knowledgeable people and now it is fucked with all these posers laughing at people who use consumer electronics in a less good way than they do.

I see it all the time user. I know what you mean.
When an industry can pump something out in 6 months and then another in 6 moths, it depreciates the value of it.
Sometimes laughing at a situation will make you feel better. Try it user. Post a tech related story

Not mad, just annoyed at a normalfag's ignorance and insistence on forcing a shitty thread

I posted a tech related story about going to a tech forum and finding idiot posers laughing at slightly less stupid than them.

the thread meant for people to laugh. Just go with it user

Some stories are meant to be simple. That's all it should be. You don't have to explain why someone doesn't understand c++ or Java or unix, and that being is because, the simplest stories make for the best.

You know what I found interesting about this thread?

People here care more about getting laid and me getting laid vs actually laughing at the story. What can that say about Sup Forums sitting there saying they don't care about the tech story vs their own sad life

>OP missed the signs as a teenager
>clearly he's an idiot


>Woman was clearly not use to using a computer
>she's an idiot

When did Sup Forums give a shit about having sex at all?

...

People aren't enjoying this because the thread is bad

one person gave a shit about you being virgin, and that was me. then you go ahead and imply the whole of Sup Forums did the same. this is normalfaggotry. the sooner you realize this the sooner you can go shit up another board

People aren't enjoying the thread because 1 idiot had to step in and start jerking off. Therefore another guy and so on.

then it turned into a circle jerk.
You care too much.

>You care too much
says the guy whose trying perpetuate a shitty thread because of his ego

not at all user.
I'm here to talk but you keep going on about it. You could just post a story. I would delete the thread if I could but that's not been allowed I think in 2 years?

>implying he's not a faggot
Sometimes. . .

Check the box next to 'Dumbass tech stories', scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page, and click the 'Delete' button on the bottom of the thread page.

You're welcome.

Install gentoo faggot, literally the fix for this

told ya so dumbass

>he doesn't know that he can delete threads
>he doesn't know how to sage
>he has to keep replying for his precious ego
can you do anything right?

k

You should've had the sense to not browse a chinese technology imageboard, dumbass.

...

The 1 jerk is the OP

if you need to post in a shit thread, please sage