ITT: Sup Forums designs the worst IDE

Ok, Sup Forums, you did quite a good job when you had to design the worst laptop.

Let's see if you can keep it real with this one.
Place your features in greentext.

Pic... kinda related I guess.

Other urls found in this thread:

advsys.net/ken/download.htm
stupidhackathon.com/
youtube.com/watch?v=KyLqUf4cdwc
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

No indentation allowed

>debbuging information must be generated on request from a cloud server and downloaded everytime you compile
>Mousewheel doesn't work anywhere in the application
>Randomly switches between spaces and tabs for indentation

>lines align to the right

>screeches at you loudly when it finds mistakes, but doesn't tell you where

>pressing tab replaces selection instead of increasing indentation level

>full screen only
>direct11
>bloom
>hdr
>fonts move back and forth on the Z axis
>there's noticable ghosting and frame drops
>alt-tabbing blacks the screen for a few seconds and makes music studder
>any secondary monitors are blacked out when the application is in fullscreen

>adds artificial mouse acceleration
>crashes periodically and resets the resolution to 800x450 upon the next launch
>features full vim command mode except that :w quits without saving

Central alignment

>touchscreen only

Red squiggles under any letters that don't form a valid English word

Vim, Emacs, and not Visual Studio 2017

/thread

The only compile error is the I'd just like to interject copypasta

also link to the Sup Forums laptop?

It only compiles if there are no spelling errors

>features full vim command mode except that :w quits without saving

Ctrl+c terminates the application

>forced Code Bubbles mode, no regular editing mode

has ads with sound and it made looks like was made in java

Change linebreaks to the opposite of whatever OS you're on.

Replace dashes, quotes, etc. with similar looking characters like Word does

You monster

lol you speak from experience, i know that feel.
add some weird mouse cursor that isnt blinking sometimes, standing still and other times it's blinking regularly.

add some intellisense popups, actually just copy what kdevelop does 1:1 and you got the worst way to do that
256 color popups, every word is a hyperlink. Just moving the mouse over your code triggers 5 autocomplete/doc popups

>can compile java to java bytecode
>can also compile all other languages to java bytecode
>cannot compile any language to a binary
>the java bytecode doesn't work

>the debugger is gdb

>it only starts taking text input once you press i
>all other input is actually interpreted as commands
>you can't quit

Kek'd

Vim babbies btfo

>indentation is randomly changed for every new line between spaces and tabs for each line
>no brace/bracket visual matching
>syntax errors do not come with a message or a specific line #, can only tell you that there is one and which block of code it is in

>requires you to learn lisp for configuration

>Default font is Anglo-Saxon runes

>enter key deletes the entire line

every time you type a character the "nice meme" sound effect plays

i would change that to every time you type ;
on every key it's too much

Voice recognition input only. No typing or mouse.

>no cursor support and home/end do not have any uses
>del acts like backspace
>if you page up/page down past the end or beginning of the file, the file closes without saving

it would check the syntax of every line in real time and for every keypress you fail it will make a loud sound

A full installation takes up 1 terabyte of disk space. However the installation files are only available in CD-ROM format. NO DOWNLOADS.

>no syntax highlighting
>font size is randomly selected at startup
>tab inserts space,space inserts tab
>fixed tablength (12)
>no cursor
>forcefully maps page up -> page down | page down -> page up
>only autosaving

>backspace deletes the line
>ctrl+z deletes everything
>ctrl+y saves and closes

>pic related always enabled
>cannot save any changes unless entire project compiles successfully

Insert is permanently enabled. Better not fuck up.

Requires ID verified login.

>you have to feed it

>must use svn
>autosaves and every change is automatically commited to svn

>takes up 10GB of disk space
>inserts telemetry libraries into your binaries with no indication
>Written by Microsoft

>requires microsoft account with a valid phone number

Error codes are only provided via sms message to your phone. You must provide a valid phone number to use the software.

these two together would be a pretty good meme

>actually commits every autosaved change to github
>every commit message is "contribute to my project" with a link to the github page
>this can't be changed
>it gets posted to your facebook, random youtube videos, and random Sup Forums threads
>anyone can push
>automatically pulls every time it detects a change that wasn't its own
>the nonlocal version is always used, no merging

> the only supported language out of the box is "text"
> all other languages are lua plugins

Code must be hand written and mailed to the developer of the software
He will then push out an update that contains the new lines of text

>lots of tiles
>makes indexing when needed
>single threaded
>bad editor
>a ton of random colors

> mfw my html code isnt up to XHTML 1.1 standards and gets rejected

>all messages are wrtie in a log file
>no tool to open the log file easily
>just a message box with the log from which text can not be copied

That feel when so many things do that today

>can only use C
>no libraries allowed
>that includes core libraries
>(much like you do not)

Can only be used to produce GPLv3 licensed software.

>sends all source code to mr stallman
>"nothing to hide nothing to fear"

All uses of the terms program, software, project or any other similar term are replaced with the term "app"

>all complied executables are linked against timer binaries that make your code terminate if it runs for more than 30 seconds
>"Buy the full version for UNLIMITED RUNTIME!"

i'd add posts to porn video comments and tweets automatically tagging random US politicians with the day's trending hashtags
> @mike_pence contribute to my project #LGBTLivesMatter [github link]

>program opens normally but to save file you have to register/login
>wont work without internet connection
>first letter in beginning of line is automatically changed to uppercase
>default font size is 24
>changing font to other size causes letters not to render correctly (jagged edges or blurred details)
>undo works only after you hit enter after making changes
>all files contained in project are kept in single proprietary binary file
>you can access them only via ide
>to export those files you have to use external tool
>this tool is closed source shareware and to install it you need .net and microsoft c++ redistributable libraries
>by installing it you also install yahoo toolbar and bonzi buddy
>the installer itself can no longer be downloaded from original developers
>ide core is written in java script and gui in python pygame

>you have to watch an ad every time you save changes to a file
>if you run out of saves you have to play candy crush to earn more

>clippy

Other people can see and chat about your code, you are always forced to stream your coding progress to all other IDE users as they laugh about your code, they have hired special people to point out tiny flaws to make you go insane

>only others can insert comments
>comments may only refer to how shitty your code is

> add assembly code
> "unlicensed software hack detected, IDE is shutting down now: buy the software instead of stealing!"

>Ok, Sup Forums, you did quite a good job when you had to design the worst laptop.
Anyone has archive links?

The ide changes keyboard layout every 30 seconds to throw you off from typing

>your program runs constantly as you edit it
>every save recompiles
>every recompile repopulates the text segment but leaves the data segment untouched and only moves the program counter if the instruction it's on has moved as well
>you can't start the program over

Lists HTML as a programing language.

fucking kek

Only allows you to push to master branch

>based on chromium browser

>mfw xcode actually does this

>all line breaks add 10 pixels of space, like word

swap enter and space

>takes up 70gb of disk space
>takes 5 minutes to start

hey xamarin

>Overtype mode is ALWAYS on

the whole IDE is written in flash

>You can only choose a font between Comic Sans, Impact or Papirus

absolute madman

>lines align to the center

advsys.net/ken/download.htm
EVALDRAW does the first part

Introducing LibreOffice Edit.

Permanently enabled Forgiving Mode™ in the compiler.

>no syntax errors or warnings or anything
>the compiler will just build a broken binary you then have to debug

>voice to text(works well)
>Each typed character takes 3 seconds to appear

Pick 1

"are you sure" popup, closable by mouse only, for every keypress

we need to make this a reality... imagine putting this on your C.V

I'll get started on the logo.

I'll start with the logo

stupidhackathon.com/

>>voice to text(works well)
reminded me of
youtube.com/watch?v=KyLqUf4cdwc

> auto word corrector always enabled
> fist letter is always capitalized by default
> touch screen only, doesn't support physical keyboards
> all settings reset to default on relauch
> everytime you compile, you must watch a 15 second ad
> paid "pro" features, like changing font size, unlock functions, classes, arrays, saving settings on exit, etc
> 20 day trial, when it expires, the ransomware wakes up and encrypts the hard drive
> $40 to unlock
> gives extra 20 trial days
> the cycle repeats

>all work is done in the cloud on a gaming machine from 2005
>only one file for all users
>max. 1000 lines
>users compete for lines
>write new plugins by fucking up the server


That's because a single press of enter opens a new paragraph, not a new line. Try pressing shift+enter.
They changed it quite a few versions ago, but it took me ages to figure out.

>only T9 input mode

I'm going to quietly make it on my own and put it on my resume

>installer is 1KB
>all it does is reserve 1TB of hard drive space for automatic updates

> Characters are created by keyup and not by keydown
> No syntax highlighting
> Tabs are 1 space and spaces are 1 tab
> Can't end a line
> Vista only
> An ad shows up each time you save a file
> Can't open existing projects without resetting the ide config

>> fist letter is always capitalized by default

Whoa man this thing's makes me crazy just by thinking about it

Social media integration

This, every time you compile it created a Facebook post about it with screenshot and webcam pic

>When you want to uninstall it you have to fill out a survey why you don't want to keep using it, followed by several angry emails by the developer
Legitimately had this happen once