Cmd pops up for a split second and disappears

>cmd pops up for a split second and disappears

>svchost.exe

>disk spins up for no reason

>printer starts making noises in middle of the night

>using windows

I had this happen on a laptop immediately after discovering tor and the darkweb.

Nuked the system asap.

>cat jumps on the computer to look out the window
>computer wobbles

>ethernet light flashes in the middle of the night

Got this during the day. Even scarier because it's a laser and the lights dim

>there is a 0.3 second delay from when you type the key to when it appears on the screen

>windows immediately wakes after putting into standby

>software update

>windows wakes up a minute after putting it to sleep

>tv turns its screen on without the powerled going off or being "truly turned on"

>leave pc running while i go out
>drives are set to spin down after 10 minutes of inactivity
>when i get back the drives spin up before i touch the computer

>computer turns on after I press the power button

>start downloading porn
>plane flies over my house

>leave room for 20+ minutes
>come back in
>immediately see pc waking up before I even sit down in my chair
every time

>computer turns on at 4 AM to autoupdate and stays on until I get up from bed to turn it off every day.

>log in to Brazzers using credentials from Sup Forums
>cop parks outside apartment building

>get home from work
>computer is awake

>get home from the BLM rally
>computer is woke

>put computer to sleep
>get up from desk
>it wakes up the moment I start standing up

>computer pings
>2 users connected to VNC server
>only my laptop's supposed to be connected

I fucking shit myself so badly holy shit. Shut down server, check running processes, check event log, check connection log, malwarebytes all 4TB worth of shit, change password on server, lock it down and run it through a SSH tunnel.

pic related

>finish busting the fattest nut
>police siren outside starts

>windows xp
>doing nothing
>pc makes clicking sounds

>modem dials neverland ranch

>go to xvideos.com
>internet goes out

>hey user, can you check out my dad's computer
>find open ssh port

No wonder his identity keeps being stolen

Why worry? Solve the problem or continue while not giving a fuck.

Windows does a lot of automatic indexing, logging, pagefile management, etc.

Are you using a pirated windows? It's probably just the loader applying the activation.

> netstat -pant
> ssh session ESTABLISHED
> Chinese source IP

>Dad
"Why is the FBI here?"

>g27 turns on and calibrates itself in the middle of the night

Internet is down - no memes backed up

>mouse cursor start slowly moving on its own

This shit every time

>webcam light turns on randomly

>PS3 TURNS ITSELF ON at 3 am despite previous red light and downloads updates
>Scared.png

>dad's computer
>ssh

Are you sure about that?

>manually restart the computer
>watch BIOS start up as usual
>windows boots up and acts like I just took it out of sleep with all my programs running

how

>leave home
>forget my Sup Forums open
>don't know if anyone used it

you put it into hibernate

sleep: turns off most hardware, but leaves RAM powered with it's contents intact, allowing for "resuming" where you left off quickly
hibernate: dumps the content of RAM onto disk, then turns off the computer, when starting up again, the RAM dump is copied back into physical RAM, and your session is resumed much like recovering from standby

Hibernate?

>watch BIOS
WHAT YEAR IS THIS?

>mouse randomly jumping spots every once in a while
>Type in notepad in full screen "I know your watching, what's up?"
>Get alert back saying "nothing much, thanks for the porn suggestions"

Dude who ratted me turned out to be pretty fucking chill

>searching porn on sad panda
>hear sirens 5 minutes later

Open port on an unsecured router and windows firewall. His dad had no idea what it was, someone set him up

not him but my mobo is from 2012 and is BIOS-only

>donwload something from the internet
>Have less free storage

>add hundreds of lines of code to program
>it works

>Not wanting to see the energy star logo on every boot

>nothing happens because ram suspension and wifi switch
Feels good desu

>open cmd.exe
>get bash prompt

>Friend asks you to fix their computer
>20 programs open at startup

>Turn on computer
>Stuck on BIOS for 10 minutes

Good thread

>open a file
>hdd makes a KUHCHUNK sound

>Remote into home computer at school
>Browse Sup Forums and /s/
>Come home
>Monitor is on

Thats some monkeys paw shit

>looking at some websites on TOR
>camera light lights up every time I go to THAT site
What does it mean?

Archiving.

It means you'll be on a vacation with your friend Jamal soon, have fun fucko

>sit down at my desk at work to start the day
>ctrl alt del to wake it up and log in
>"Lock this computer, switch user log off?"

Fucking pedo

>taking this thread seriously
lel

>icons disappear from taskbar and tray
>slowly reappear one by one
>third party firewall looks like it's off
>start it again

>taking me seriously

Was it already on?

>windows
>ssh

>set wallpaper to an attractive lady
>someone wants to use the computer

>that feel when you browse Sup Forums at work and then someone walks in and you scroll down to hide the boobs and you see a dick and you scroll down and you see gay sex and you scroll down and you see two men cuddling and "why don't you have a boyfriend" and you scroll down and see some disgusting anime CP with women with dicks and then you try to scroll further and you're at the bottom of the page and when you minimize the window there is your anime wallpaper you set by accident

I know this feel except at home when friends are staying over and they dont understand that nothing on Sup Forums is anything they havent seen before, and feel the need to say WHOA LOL WTF WAS THAT and force me to scroll back and show them it. They aren't reacting with disgust or surprise towards me, just what's on the page. It gets really annoying.

>you must be 18 or over to browse this site

No thats the thing, we are all ~23 years old. But somehow even images of a cock just grabs that one friend's attention and he just HAS to see what it was that was on my screen. I just scroll the catalog and thats when he sees it. So I make sure to change tabs when he comes in or else I'm gonna get spammed with that shit.

Did you shit -pant?

At least it was a good presentation.

>put computer to sleep at night
>come back and i'm logged out

>burn computer to hide evidence
>it's sitting on my desk the next morning completely intact

smile sweetly for your mugshot

>a lot of (((automatic indexing))), (((logging))), (((pagefile management))), etc.

Sounds like (((systemd)))

I had this with my shitty chink mouse

>PC turns on randomly in the middle of the night

>somehow even images of a cock just grabs that one friend's attention
kek

>boot computer
>big red secure boot failed padlock flashes for a split second

>Glasswire: DNS address changed

>get home
>keyboard is in odd position that implies someone used it while i was gone

>ROOT: 22 denied 5832 times on 80.143.67.229
>ROOT: 22 denied 5833 times on 80.143.67.229
>ROOT: 22 denied 5834 times on 80.143.67.229

>get home from work
>router has been moved slightly
Happened to a friend working in China

MotherBoard speaker beeps once every couple of days randomly

change your battery

>when something you know shouldn't work actually works
>spend two hours staring at block of code trying to figure out why it works

ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

>not taking a 360 degree photo of your room before leaving every morning to see if anything changed

>computer in Faraday cage
>friend messages me on facebook

Type ls and theres nothing there

>leave laptop for a few minutes
>come back at exactly the same moment display turns off

>search own IP address
>geolocated to the Philippines