/brit/

Sunburn edition

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kpop desu

me on the right

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any tights lads

Everyone knows that shits nasty, even grills

So incredibly embarrassing that someone took the time to write that.

tfw your bank account details get stolen

*farts*
"FUCK OFF!"

maisie

Just had a wank and I'm in that state where I'm questioning all my life decisions

did she shit the bed or is that vagina blood

This dick is out of control

>on bus
>wearing sandy coloured, slim chino shorts
>have 7'' knob
>not massive but is usually quite big when flaccid and doesn't grow much
>sexy little bitch with big tits sat across from me with her mum
>probably about 18
>look down
>can see my dick imprint clear as day through my shorts
>suddenly start getting a hard on thinking about shagging that slut
>OHFUCK
>can't hide it
>it's crawling down my leg
>literally can't control it
>bus starts bouncing
>he tits start bouncing
>my dick starts bouncing
>keeps getting bigger
>can literally see her looking at me through the corner of my eye
>don't know whether to be embarrassed or proud
>the constriction of my shorts is just making it worse
>this went on for 25 minutes
>she gets off bus
>makes direct eye contact with me
>she wants the D

But seriously, it's out of control. Shit like this is constant. I wanked 3 times last night and still wanted to shag everything that moved today.

Only correct response to seeing that is 'You've got red on you'..

...

>Got sunburn on my arms and face

Post your secondary school memories lads

girl messaged me saying she's was talking about my pic with her friend

is good? x

exceptional posts

tfw start work in less than a month

do not want to

I think my next euro excursion will be in the UK, where should I go lads? Always wanted to visit Scotland but England seems nice too... I want to experience the comfy countryside, don't really care for the cities tb h

fuck me lads

hippy mates have started all getting measles cos their bastard parents didn't vaccinate them.

>Grown women want to be able to shit the bed with no consequences now
ENOUGH.

Ahh yes i love when my bowels refuse to let me shit for 3 days and then make me shit twice in one day

Love this IBS gimmick

not all yanks are fat or even slightly overweight

>tfw wasn't vaccinated and then caught meningitis

Dad's Remain but I'm Leave. Weird stuff. Never thought he'd fall for the propaganda.

Yes 99% of the time.

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love bamboozling normans with my superior intellect

all yanks are fat and extremely overweight
and theyre unintelligent and they smell too

guarantee I'm smarter than you lad

I can even solve a rubiks cube

It's blood you turbo virgin

family are all leave desu

even my 13 yo sister

literally neglect imo

not sure what your point is mate

stop copying me
There was a train station near my school, literally 200m walk. some sixth form kid died getting his phone after some of his friends threw it one the tracks. We have a science prize in his name now.
Kek at natural selection, fuck that chad

>Shit twice in one day
Lad, that's the normal amount of shit. That's not a 3 day buildup.

ha ha me

Eating some VERY spicy leftover chicken, lads

Almost too spicy, this shit is hazardous

...

How common are girls like these in Britain?

Sick of this hot weather meme

i used the word "surreptitiously" on a normal yesterday and they literally imploded

>Banksy
is there anything more reddit

>Junkrat primed and ready

doing a tactically timed text as she's about to start drinking

give her something to think about ya know

and also so i don't have to talk to her for too long because i can't be arsed

tfw you got raised to believe by your mam that girls wee out their bumhole and then when youre a bit older you learn about female reproductive anatomy but they never really made it clear thats where they wee from as well so you're like 13 and still think girls wee out the bumhole and get laughed at

very, very good post

how spicy is it would you say

fuk of im busy

need to get my hair cut, buy some shorts, do a fuck load of washing, have a shave, print out a load of shit in roughly 80 hours and that doesn't take into account the time I need to sleep

doesn't feel like it's enough time

haha really enjoyed this

very close to home! lol

Women don't piss out of their vagina lad.

>Overwatch

reddit

8/10

Continuous mouth burning

same

clouds, very light wind and 15 degrees is perfect

stop this

tfw actually a fairly good guitarist and girls who have heard me play always complement me, but don't want to be that cunt who is obviously just playing the guitar to impress girls so mostly just play alone when I know no-one can hear me

too late

getting myself a new gf

Yeah he's up there with Breaking Bad, Rick & Morty, Sherlock, Tycho, Muse etc.

reckon it'll burn your arsehole coming out?

I thought girls peed out the vagina, turns out they don't
I learned that at 25

His terraformars base organism

Seriously considering becoming a NEET lads, the plan:
>quit job
>i only need electricity/internet, plus breakfast and 1 meal a day, i've saved up enough money to last me years for this
>thing is, parents would want me to pay keep because i use the electricity/internet, which would probably be disproportionate to the amount i use
If I run out of money I can get a shit part time job for a few months to save up

gud_kek

is it hot outside lads? haven't noticed, since I keep my windows and curtains shut and use a fan to circulate the air in the room, it's only 10 degrees in here

>same. clouds, very light wind and 15 degrees is perfect

me on the right

Oh yea that's going to hurt

Wanna start a band with me?

hmmm very interesting. have you considered milk or mixing it up with some greek yoghurt?

S T A N N E S
T

A
N
N
E
S

God my life is so empty

So what do you shits have planned for the euros

I have, BUT I went with an Arnold Palmer instead

Update: I went to the diner but she wasn't working today. Have to go to work now, will try again tomorrow.

Emotionless dance robots

you should put natural yoghurt in curries, not greek.

Some lad from work left peroni here after the weekend drinks, might have one desu.

>lean

Fuck off, niggers. Real men cwe codeine and drink that shit.

yeah not the same hole but I mean its the same general area

like I thought they weed out the bumhole since back when I thought it was just flat skin there but I never put two and two together they would have a piss hole there too

Not really, cos then I'd have to play in public and I'd get anxious that people would think I was only doing it to get laid.

i hate life so much

just want to lay in bed for the rest of it

gonna go spend 15 of them on weed

i hope Arnold Palmer brings you everything you wanted

I went to the Asda yesterday AND today to find my new fuck buddy but she wasn't working.

Not fucking happy.

going to try to drink a drink from every country at it over the course of the tournament desu

ty

watch all the games with Sup Forums except the england games which I will watch at the pub

try water

ahh, noted, think i was doing this anyway

i just call any non-flavoured yog yogs greek, sure theres a more accurate nomenclature but i cba lol

>You were that one kid who apparently took things a step too far and every person would always ask "user,what the hell!?"

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>Hollyoaks is on because I couldn't be bothered to change the channel after the Simpsons
>ickle Tom the ginger murder-kid is now in high school, 6ft tall and dating a paki to make a qt white girl jealous

I am upset

We'll make it about the music lad

We'll be bigger than the Arctic Monkeys desu

that frenchy in ukraine made the mistake of not being muslim, otherwise he'd have the european muslim community hiding him

who /small penis manlet/ here?

vocaroo.com/i/s0DXTKTgArQY

Talking to an American bird on Tinder lads
How do I play it?

New QT sales assistant at the Travelin' Man in Leeds, lads.

desu sometimes I like to have a singalong with myself and put on a northern voice so that I sound like Alex Turner. Always found it easier to sing when putting on an accent of some sort. It's a deal, meet at mine in an hour for practice.