>Be American
>Wake up early to drink my double tall Americano.
>Look up at the setting moon.
>Be proud that my flag is up there.
>Eat a hearty breakfast of bacon, eggs, and donuts.
>Read that ISIS leader has been killed.
>Check to make sure that US is still the most powerful military in the world.
>Say prayer to Constitution, thanking it for the rights and freedoms it entails. Also say a shorter prayer to Magna Carta for good measure.
>Ride 5 litre v8 to work. Don't care cause gas is cheap.
>Don't have to worry about crashing or IED's like in shitskin countries.
>Say hi to police officer. Make friends and become range buddies.
>See a bald eagle.
>Cry manly tears.
>Turn up to well paying job, with good benefits such as insurance and dental.
>Work 8 hours, with breaks, because labor laws.
>Thank God for blessing you with this day.
>Drive home, stop off at Mc Donald's and eat burger.
>Buy a pack of smokes for $4.
>See capitalism at work, with bright lights and bustling people pursuing happiness.
>Tear up again as you contemplate freedom.
>Stop off at bar to have beer with best buddies and watch NFL.
>Enjoy sports, enjoy company and feel richer for the experience.
>Drink glorious Samuel Adams beer.
>Get ready to go home to beautiful blonde wife.
>Get shot.
>such as life in the USA.
Be American
Great post
it's not football season you dumb aussie
I enjoyed it
>Magna Carta
Americans don't care about this petty document. It's not even real freedom nor American
>Pack of smokes for $4
I'm not even a smoker and I know they're much more expensive because of government tax
>Get shot
Now I know you're just trolling. Obama banned guns 2 years ago.
Secretly I love ameriga. I just wanted to jump on the bantz wagon.
>go to gay club
>get shot
seriously, america is awesome
I find it interesting that there's a great big golden copy of it in the catacombs underneath the capitol Building. Also the most cited legal document in the supreme court.
>>Buy a pack of smokes for $4.
lol. maybe in the middle of fucking nowhere. any major populated area a pack is like $12 now
I got confused with Japan where they are $4. Someone said they were $8 a pack. Still pretty cheap.
>be gay politician
>get elected
Step it up Canada
You just know he's been fucked before.
Only good post on Sup Forums right now desu
BUT THIS OLD LADDY NEW PRESIDENT GONA TO DO SICIAL CASTRATION TO ALL AMERICANS FOR PEACE KEEPING GENOCIDE
It is a dark time to be an Sup Forums poster.
kek, more like
>say hi to police officer
>get shot
Every story on /k/ involving a police officer used to always end with them becoming range buddies.
The police where I live don't shoot anyone.
>be american
>wake up
>get shot
>Be Australian
>Wake up
>Get bitten
Cops are, for the most part, decent human beings.
>be poo peelandian
>wake up
>shag a sheep
>engage in post-coital bleating
>fall asleep tangled in one another's limbs
Depends on the cop. Lots of small town cops are assholes because they have nothing to do and harass people for fun.