LMAO

LMAO.

Good, fuck the internet of things.

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youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ
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i cant believe google was dumb enough to invest in this

Was this the thing that made juice from bags of juice?

ONE HUNDRED TWENTY MILLION

So, I can now buy literally the best general-purpose packet presser ON THE PLANET that will last forever, for less than $200? Holy shit yes. It will last forever and all these insane high quality parts can be repurposed. My grandchildren will be pressing their shit on Mars with this thing.

tbqh they might a well give it away for free, they'll make the money back on juice subscriptions

The machine that crushed bags of vegetable stuff into a glass. And you could only use the company's specific packs, which cost 5-7 dollars each. And the press itself cost like 800 originally, down to 400 and now down to 200. And it was always WI-Fi connected or it wouldn't work. And you could just squeeze the packs by hand and get the same result.

i imagine the logistics of outsourcing the manufacturing to China, ditching Wi-Fi / Bag DRM shit and selling the machine for dirt cheap would be 100x better than trying to prey off weird rich upper class white people

>mission
Um.
That would defeat the purpose. Besides, wifi, cameras, and micros capable of reading 2D codes are cheap as shitposts.

The beauty is, its not general purpose. It only allows you to press Juicero branded packets.

>tfw you're literally too intelligent to rip of consumers this way and make a profit

One of the engineering Youtubers cracked it open and holy shit was it retardedly engineered.

It even went so far as to have it's own custom motor to power the press.

AvE is god

Alphabet Inc owns Google

HAH

It's really not that surprising, Outside of Google and Android pretty much everything else Google operates loses money.

youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ

And yet they expand and get hundreds of Obama visits.

I saw the Medium post. Nah, more like over-engineered.

I bet you would have said the same thing about PARC.
Which means that ayncraps have nothing to offer any conversation, ever.

>implying you can't just put an entire fucking apple in a Ziploc bag

Google's only meaningful source of revenue is advertising. Search and Android earn them nothing directly. Their various startup investments are gambles into things that may eventually enhance their ad revenue.

>DRM for food

Daily reminder that this is trying to appeal to the same core market as Nespresso, who I'm 97% sure isn't you guys

In other words, it's not catered to you so you won't get it

They sold Boston Dynamics to Softbank, too.

Google clearly isn't the future.

What did you expect from an ad company

>that dirty as fuck cup

Venture capitalists seem to throw so much money at inane bullshit.
Where do they get all this money from, how do they justify the expense, and what do they do when they realize they just threw a bunch of money down the toilet?

The gambling odds have to be much worse than the lottery at this point, considering how you can't even speculate, with how shit all these startups are.

I got a free brevile macerating juicer from the side of the road. I buy a big discounted box of Apple pineapple and kale from my market for $10 which is enough for a week

Just the fucking wifi press is equivelant to a year of feeding myself with high quality produce

The amount of stinking merchant attached to this product is sickening

There is a narrow range of people who are both dumb enough and rich enough to wanna buy this.

mobile.twitter.com/ivankatrump/status/715648874346520576

Let me fix this.

>we are already losing a lot of money on the juicers because they are over engineered, but we arent selling enough of them to make the money back on the juice pack subscriptions. so, we are slashing the price of the juicers in order to get more into homes and get more subscriptions in order to actually make money

>white people

That was so bad even /Fit was laughing at the absolute laziness to make a smoothie.

Tax's in the Cayman islands and swiss bank accounts to tax dodge and pay nothing. Then use a tiny fraction to invest in stupid things.

This. Cuban coffee best coffee.

Unless your ziplock bag comes with the right RFID, it's not going to press, bud.

>Buy ONE official juice bag
>Cut off RFID tag
>Scotch tape over sensor
>Beat the machine

I'm sure it will notice if you use the same RFID more than once.

This destroys the free market, please do not interfere with it.

fuck me, juice bein cut?

now what? ur gonna get me mum to make it now?

>RFID tag expires as they're tied to expiration dates to ensure freshness
>machine refuses to press your juice bags

They are loaded and have investors.
Gambling returns have expected value that can be calculated. Venture funding has no upper limit on returns, the whole point is to throw money around(smartly) and hope something becomes gigantic. With this strategy, failures like juicero become inevitable but they are supposed to be outweighed by one gigantic success.

Ah, so they put an expiration date on it. Guess they DID learn from the stupid fucking coffee Kcups.

youtube.com/watch?v=tOgIHOtSZGo

>It even went so far as to have it's own custom motor to power the press.
At least they are consistent.

Didn't some kid drink a bad one and get super sick?

Dont know, I just know when my GF went to get a new Keurig, we found out about their silly attempt at DRM and how people just cut the tag off one official kcup and would just reuse it.

its

>Smug fugs

>It even went so far as to have it's own custom motor to power the press.
How do you faggot know it's custom?
Looks like a standard motor.

This look typically as the kind of thing only americans would buy
>Eat 20 burgers a month
>1 cups of Juicero Detox every 2 days and call it a day

One top of that they don't want to exercise so they buy a 400$ machine to press a bag.

Over engineering is retarded engineering. A juicer that costs $400 when sold at a loss is poorly engineered.

>please buy into our juice subscription service!
They are this fucking desperate to get people in because it is the only way they make money off the shit. They must make like 600% profit off each juice packet.

They're a start up, their goal isn't too make money by means of revenue Their goal is to bet bought out by some mega corporation for more than they're worth.

They have a bunch of corporate backers though. That's the point. They have to repay them as well.
They need to make money.

Gotta give back to them investors.

That's not how investing works. They don't have repay shit. So long as you aren't intentionally scamming investors you're fine. Think of it like a game of sports. Losing is fine so long as you don't lose on purpose.

more like jewcero. xdd

No investors want to lose something. Crowdfunding backers are just the same, they are investors too. They don't want to lose out and neither do corporate investors.

For the corporate investors, they want to gain reputation out of it and they're not going to gain reputation out of backing a failed product.

>tfw the botnet wants me to dehydrate

>when you open your faucet to get some fresh cold water to dring they know exactly when and how long you ran it

People like you who buy keurigs and juiceros with their shitty, tiny little non-degradeable coffee packets should burn in hell for all the waste you've generated.

Damn shame because their research team is top notch

>when you open your faucet and no fresh cold water comes out because the wireless connection has dropped

$200,
Look at the AvE teardown video, that thing is loosing so much money on every sale.

kys, racist

kys globalism is not racism

For 200 it might be worth it just for the spare parts. The internals of it are really impressive.

I'v been working in startups because I'm a masochist and either the statup staff is just selling a different product to the investors or they're buddies and the investor is siphoning money from his corp into the pocket of a friend.

OY VEY

You can hack it, AvE has a youtube video on this.

amazing. i need to start watching this channel

> Paul Graham defends this

What a fucking hack.

I can't say I'm suprised

It's a considerable pain in the neck to do though.

Uh, no not really. Take it apart and just use the motor leads. Nothing very complicated about it.

Did you even see how shitty it was when AvE did it?

He just did it to show it can be done. He didn't do it in a way that you would actually call usable.

>Damn shame because their research team is top notch
no it isn't, they just google the answers

>be nigger
>bang a rock against an orange
>drink the stuff that comes out of it
>SHIEEEEEEEET

Yes, but that's just his personality to make it super shitty and ghetto with a simple switch. I saw the design of the thing and it wouldn't be so tough to actually hack in a real controller.

That thing is engineered better than a combat robot. Jesus Christ no wonder it was $800

I still can't believe how disconnected from reality people can be.

B-brother??

>Buy one bag of juice
>physically squeeze it
>juice comes out

The machine is literally just an electric motor that presses the bag. AvE tore one down. Its useless. Its just squeezing the bag inside of the machine, it doesn't do anything special. Squeezing them by hand accomplishes the same thing.
I can't believe anyone was dumb enough to fund this.

>our mission
did god tell him to bring juice to the masses?

>when you open you fauces and pure liquid autism comes out in form of vaccines

Probably some old friend that had dirt on the cunt owners of Google so they had to invest in his retarded idea.

That's standard corpo-speak by now.
But it always cracks me up.
Wonder if there are people who eat it up.

>Nah, more like over-engineered.
It was over engineered to the point that it was underengineered. You don't need a machine milled aluminium block to squeeze capri sun into a cup. Remember KISS. Keep it simple, stupid.

what the fuck does wifi connectivity even get you with this shit

SHAREHOLDERS AND INVESTORS ON SUICIDE WATCH

It requires a Wi-Fi connection to scan the QR code on the packets to make sure they're Juicero packets, and that they're not expired.

Not even kidding. Fucking ridiculous

ayy lmao

...

>physically squeeze shit for years
>get carpal tunnel and arthritis

>get this juicero bullshit for cheap
>have a robotic squeeze machine for years
whatever makes me save my strength

God I'm so pissed off about this. Boston Dynamics was one of the coolest American robotic companies to have come out in a long time and now they got sold to some Jap by the retards from google who bought them out because it looked cool but had absolutely no fucking idea what to do with it. Fuck google.

pls delet

Good god all those machined parts, that thing is fucking beautiful.

Also so it can use DRM to lock you out of using non-approved juice packets.

That thing is even more bullshit than the capsule based coffee machines. I am glad to see the thing sliding into the abyss.

Why don't they just sell the juice directly?

can't i just use a rolling pin to get the juice out of one of those things?