How do I get a programming job? Especially in a shit area where there are barely any start-ups?

How do I get a programming job? Especially in a shit area where there are barely any start-ups?

Actually what I wanted to ask was, how much of an education do I need? I'm in no place to do a full bachelor's degree since I already have one. I'm currently taking a summer class in data structures but the classes next up on the list are all theoretical shit. After taking what can I land a job?

Move you dumb shit. This is why the Indians are beating you. They're willing to move halfway across the planet for a shitty job but you won't move half a state.

Startups are a scam.

I can't you dumb mother fucker, I just got out of jail and I'm on probation.

That said, I can stay within the state.
Whether they're a scam or not, I don't have a bachelor's in

computer science so I'm not getting a fortune 500 job. Plus the fact that I'm a convicted felon I need to shoot for small startups first to get my foot in the door.

are comfortable with learning russian and moving to moscow?
no but for real just do remote work user. make a portfolio and ask for scraps. slowly raise your hourly with each project and in no time you'll be making $100+ an hour.

start by never posting this ugly tobacco addicted cunt again and finish by going away and not coming back

not OP but does this really work ?


t.neet trying to get a job and move out of parents house

pull a gattica user, get a normie with a clean record to front for you for remote work. it's gotta be someone you can trust though since money goes to them, they take their percentage off the top for being your public face, then pass on the rest to you

Come to Uruguay with a degree (doesn't need to be uni, but it is ideal) and/or shit to show, get hired instantly.

Cubans come here to get programming jobs all the time.

go work at McDonalds and stop bitching you dont deserve high pay right out of mommys basement you little shit

I get contacted all the time from managers and recruiters with them referencing my open source contributions.

(1) Code.
(2) Make your code available.

Lol someone got burned

why should i flip burgers and i could be doing a better job

sometimes.
either pick a common environment such as RoR, Android or PHP, and completely distinguish yourself somehow. it's really difficult sometimes.
or alternatively pick a niche or bleeding edge env., like Rust, Elixir or React Native, and master them to the point where you offer something most others simply don't. this is also difficult because the niche is inherently obscure and lacing in resources.

Yeah but they pay very well for their short lifespans

so should i go back to college and if so what are good tech related majors ? sorry for all the questions

Because you have to start at the bottom. That goes for any kind of job. Then you can work your way up. You think you'll just decide to get a job and have people falling over themselves to give you a high paying job and a good position? No. You have to earn it like everyone else who doesn't have insanely rich parents.

data science is a cash cow. also ML, NLP.
but whether you should or shouldn't go back to college is something i can't know.

Actually I'm already learning Russian. That's mainly what I spent my time on in jail. I'd actually love to move to Moscow but 1) I don't think they would accept a felon and 2) I'm on probation for the next 5 years and at least need to be on for about 2 years before they consider letting me off early.

You can't. Don't be a faggot. Work what you can and spend your free time improving your skill and networking.

>doesn't think Russians accept felons
Have ya seen the place?

not true
my parents have been on welfare since before i was born but my brother got a job making $140k immediately after finishing university

You are clearly not your brother. Your brother clearly made connections and played his cards right. You did not. Hence why you need to flip burgers and work shitty jobs until you can move up and get better ones. You aren't owed a fucking job because your brother got a good one. And when you're sitting home broke with mommy and daddy, you can't be too proud. You work and do what you have to do to make ends meet.

I'm not op by the way.
He didn't make connections, he got a job in a completely different country.
anyway it's beside the point.
my point is that you can get to the top without fucking around at the bottom, and by berating others like this you reveal yourself to be not good enough.
Continue with your day Mr. Subpar

Okay. I'll be subpar while you live at home with no job or money. I'm sure any day now someone will be breaking down the door to your trailer to give you a job.

I'm a mechanic.

Then why the fuck do you live at home with your parents?

When did I say I lived with my parents?

Actually, before you said you were a neet with no job and now you're a mechanic? Fuck off, kid. Mechanics get paid well anyway.

see i'm not op

At the beginning of this conversation. If you're somebody else, then why did you even respond? I'm talking to the guy who said he was a neet.

>why did you respond?
i felt like it, it's a public imageboard you know

I'm OP. I'm not the neet poster either. I'm the felon.

Yeah, except my advice was to a neet with no job. So why is your redneck mechanic ass jumping in? Go suck a tail pipe.

wow rude
oh my bad

You're a fucking retard bro. You're talking to three people as if they're one. I bet the mechanic ass nigga fucks more tailpipes than your brown pakistani ass

idiot they all move to Fremont and it basically is a shit street

Wat? I made most of my money from a startup when it IPOed. Its a risk, but can lead to great stock options, but check on that up front

how do i program a blowjob

Get into a co-op program at school or an internship. That will get you actual experience for your cv. Also often if the company likes you, they'll full time hire you when the internship or co-op program ends.

just become a trap prostitute op. they make bank. don't even need to have sex with men. just cam and flaunt your butthole with your balls dangling down in a pretty dress and other lingerie. cosplay works really well. especially if your cosplay as the flavor of the month anime.

if you're already feminine looking you could probably get away without even needing to take hormones. just shave, get lean, and let your hair grow.

Only the good looking one's make bank

pretty simple really.

step one:
>build a little stroking device
just a little machine that moves an extended arm in a up and down position.
step two:
>make a little cockholster on the end of the arm
just something that can house your erect penis. could just toss a fleshlight on it if you want.
step three:
>plug it into an electrical outlet
just a standard 12v outlet should be enough
step four:
>slide your erect penis into the device
and then turn it on.

as you can see, you didn't need to actually program anything. you could if you want to make it super fancy but the device is simple enough you don't have to. you could also try using a vacuum cleaner and not have to build anything.

it might take a few years if you need hormone treatment. in the meantime you could just advertise gay blowjobs on craigslist. $30 a pop. do ten a week and can make an easy $1,200 a month. could also use the time to prep your anus into a boipucci. $100 a plow into your bum five times a week is an extra $2,000. right there with both is $3,200 a month.

you are so fucked, i'm in silicon valley, these bitches know shit and dont have a record

i hear mcdonalds is hiring

So you want a starting/junior programming job?

You MUST master the basics of programming, and be able to implement your programming knowledge using any language. That means solving problems without relying on any particular syntax. If you cannot separate programming syntax from programming concepts/algorithms, then you will need to go back and focus on the basics.

After mastering the basics, you want a starting job. Let us look at languages that will help you launch your programming career. And no, you will not be earning $300k/year when you are just starting, but you may do so if you persevere.

1- Java. Enormously popular, Java is everywhere, and everyone wants a Java developer. A must for Android applications.

2- Javascript. It runs most of the internet! A must for website developers, (with CSS and HTML.)

3- Objective C/Swift. The languages that power Apple gadgets. A must for iOS applications.

There are more languages in high demand, but they require more experience. Master the following to expand your horizons:

-SQL. Because data must get stored.
-C. Real programmers point to this language.
-C++. For classy, objective programmers.
-Python. For high-paying sssoftware engineering jobs.

>WHAT OTHER LANGUAGES ARE IN HIGH DEMAND?
Other than what was mentioned above: C#, Ruby, and PHP.

>I WANT TO WORK WITH HARDWARE DIRECTLY. WHAT LANGUAGE IS CLOSEST TO THE METAL?
Machine code. Good luck, friend.

>WHAT HUMANLY-READABLE LANGUAGE IS CLOSEST TO THE METAL?
Assembly. When it comes to programming, Assembly is the apex predator.

>I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE LATEST NEW MODERN not-a-fad LANGUAGES!
Take a look at Rust, Go, Hack, Scala, Julia, Dart, and Erlang.

>THOSE LATEST not-a-fad LANGUAGES WILL GUARANTEE A JOB, RIGHT?
No.

>I STARTED LEARNING [language x] BUT YESTERDAY MY [friend/lecturer/uncle] SAID TO SWITCH TO [language y]. WHAT DO?
You have already started, so stick. That other language will still be there when you are done with your current task.