Is there a reliable way to completely block smart phone users from my web site?

Is there a reliable way to completely block smart phone users from my web site?

god i hope you're hiro

Destroy all the smart phones in the world.

>my web site
Fuck off nobody actually want to use your shitty site

xDDD totally this gnu/bro everyone should totally be using $20 thinkpoor with linux on it

>my site is too good to allow smartphone PLEBS from accessing it
>i don't want users
>i enjoy self-sabotage and being a failure
>here's a picture of the most meek, boring and forgettable character from all of star trek because he represents everything i am in real life

Sup Forumss final form right here

now look at this passive aggressive cunt.
balls just tucked or did you get rid of them completely?

No, you need to rely on the information the browser gives your server to identify a smartphone user and that can always be faked.

why do you think that its self sabotage to not want idiots in your site?

my guess is that the ones who know enough about computers to fake the browser agent are probably not the problem for the OP and the majority does not know how to do that.

>Projecting this hard

Not realistically, no. But you can prevent 95% of them from accessing the site by "offering" a mobile version of your site that is completely dysfunctional and broken. People clever enough to request the desktop version of a site are relatively rare.

>O'brien
>forgettable
He's not though.
You on the other hand...

>People clever enough to request the desktop version of a site are relatively rare.
They're also your target audience because they're not dumb normies

Who?

There are two approaches:
1. Block based on user agent.
-> Easily circumventable.
2. Block based on IP
-> Doesn't block people using their smartphone at home, but people using their laptop via tethering.

No.

chinkmoot

detect screen resolution and block smartphones

Smartphones are pretty high-res these days.
You just end up blocking people like me who like to keep their browser window small.

You cant do it on android or iOS anyways iirc, so its a moot point
The one person running plasma or similar wont be on your site likely

Why, did you get butt blasted by a phone user?
You sound salty af

block screens where the height is bigger than the width

you sound like a fag

>hold phone sideways

That fucks me over when I use dwm and bottom stack layout.

Do mobile browser user agents differ from desktop browser user agents?

You could block mobile clients, but you're relying on client-side reporting. Throw in JS resolution detection and other JS data collection and you can get a good idea if they're a smartphone user (hell just block the site to anyone who DOESN'T disable javascript)

yes

So that is the solution for 99% of OPs users

OP, just find out mobile browser user agents and block them

>reliable
not really.
>sorta reliable
check for user agent and browser, blacklist everything originating from a phone.

Oops got it backwards.
It will fuck me over in dwm's normal layout.
And even in floating wms I always have my browser window have more height than width

This star wars guy looks like professor dumb lmfao.

you're a fucking moron.

how DO you block user agents access when you have a site?

add rules to .htaccess

*your
says the dipshit that can't even spell

Just make your site with static dimensions and make them pinch zoom.

I imagine any smart phone user would simply leave because your website is incredibly shit.

This is the only good way I know of.

the fact that this is what you consider trolling is seriously embarrassing. way to show your age.

>People hating on Miles "My life is eternal suffering Edward O'Brien

>using Apache
This is the state of Sup Forums

What the fuck is wrong with you?

*you're
stupid dumbfuck youll never get anywhere in life like that

If you could obtain the IP's of phone networks' outward facing devices, you could range-ban them all. People could still hop on WiFi to post, but at least you've thinned the herd.
Have you never seen the lengths that technically competent and always angry autists will go to just to screw with threads they hate?

map $http_user_agent $is_desktop {

default 0;

~*linux.*android|windows\s+(?:ce|phone) 0; # exceptions to the rule

~*spider|crawl|slurp|bot 1; # bots

~*windows|linux|os\s+x\s*[\d\._]+|solaris|bsd 1; # OSes

}


## Revert the logic.

map $is_desktop $is_mobile {
1 0;
0 1;
}


if ($is_mobile = 1) { return 403; }


nginx -s reload

use PHP or some shit, sherlock.

nginx is gay hipster trash, go fuck yourself.

>traffic filtering at application level
>shitting on nginx
>endorsing PHP
what did he mean by this

Tabletposter lives matters

nginx is crap though

Maybe back in 2009. Nowadays nginx is superior in every way (performance, modularity, easier to config/deploy, much faster support for cutting edge specs like http2 and TLS 1.3)

>inb4 much BSD craplicense
It's not like Apache 2.0 is copyleft

The same way you block females from having any interaction with you, you basement dweling fuck

Just wrap the entire contents of the site in noscript tags.

Except for providing hosting to multiple users.

>1. Block based on user agent.
>Easily circumventable.

Most mobile users have no idea what a user agent is, much less how to change it. I don't even know how to do it on IOS.

Blocking the user agent wouldn't 100% block all mobile users, as OP requested, but it would get pretty damn close

>

Run your whole site as a Java applet?

He's wifey. He's fallen for the asian wife meme, tho. Nevertheless, I has a wife which most people here don't have.

write the whole website in flash, they probably removed support for it from most phones already.