I'll be deciding what programmers get hired onto my team

I'll be deciding what programmers get hired onto my team.

Just for shits and giggles, what would Sup Forums use as criteria for selection?

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number of stripes on the programming socks

one of the worst memes in Sup Forums history

Ask them what BASIC stands for
Useless trivia is one of the most important skills

only hire queer PoCs.

ruin your job interview in a single sentence GO

>I'm very good with networking technology, especially Facebook and LinkedIn

How about you make a normal interview?
No "what type of animal you would be" HR bullshit.
However if you do make retarded questions, your future collages will think of you as a retarded perso

Oh the actual interview will be. I'm just curious what (bad) ideas Sup Forums has

I know someone who took the agile manifesto, changed some works, and quizzed people on what was wrong

ask them why they do/don't use Linux

I see.
I would ask them to write some function the worst way they can, but still working

i find this humorous

Ask them to assemble a computer like in pic related. But one of the components is damaged, and it won't turn on/do something. See how they react

Lines of code since beginning of career.
If candidate chimps out after hearing the question:hired.

fizzbuzz

it's proven to weed out fakes
css-tricks.com/tales-of-a-non-unicorn-a-story-about-the-trouble-with-job-titles-and-descriptions/

if you have the candidate explain why the code is bad code, this might actually be a good idea

ask them what kind of tools, languages, operating systems.. they wouldn't want to work with. Weed out the ones that have the stupidest opinions.

Ask them about their private projects. When they have something interesting, ask if they could imagine selling the idea to the company.

Aren't programmers notoriously bad with hardware?

>must be white or jewish or east asian
>IQ test them, anything below 130 is instantly dismissed
>Must be male
That's it

fizzbuzz the primes under 2 million into a christmas tree shape on a whiteboard

hello im here for the job interview

Tell the the broad goal of the system they will be working in and some constraints and work through spitballing an architecture with them. Don't correct them but point out some scenarios that might cause problems and see if they can adapt. Ask them to talk about some technologies/libraries that might be appropriate. It isn't an exam with right answers and you don't need to quiz them on language gotchas or autistic manifestos. Just see if they are intelligent and understand what it means to program. Any specifics you should be able to reach them in the job.

Assembling a computer is like playing with lego, They wouldn't have to pick out the best parts for value etc.

I have my preferred software, but I don't think there is anything I wouldn't work with, maybe SAP and ABAP, but I wouldn't be there in the first place if they need that

>"are you a cia nigger?"

how can you fizzbuzz primes?

exactly

Fuck it, why even bother doing a technical interview? Just demand right on the spot that they perform fellatio and tell them they are not getting hired if they refuse.

ask them their opinion on the unsolved millennium prize problems

>you are hired
>tfw applying for position in circus

Microsoft?

not in the western world. These failed aboirtions are normal there

Are you accusing MS of doing what I described?

Show that all integers above two are the sum of two primes

Even better yet if you live in the Bay Area. With the sky high rent prices they know the clock is ticking on the amount of time they have before rent costs deplete their remaining savings and would thus feel more pressured to comply.

I'm not proud of how I got my position, but at least I got the job.

1 isn't a prime, therefore 3 isn't the sum of 2 primes

Are you saying that you work at Microsoft and sucking dick is in fact how you obtained that position?

Sounds like the system design interview I had (and bombed) at Google

this guy is actually a southern german car mechanic called Joel Miggler. apparently he's got black eyeballs too now

Interviews are pretty pointless. It's just a filter for the obviously incapable. It's sufficient to ask about what they did at previous jobs and personal projects, as well as what technologies they've worked with. You can feel who's bullshitting their way through, and who's genuinely enthusiastic about programming. Still, I'd certainly not base a hiring decision on an interview alone.

My preferred hiring method is a trial day where the candidate has to complete a small project related to the skills we expect them to have. The project is designed to challenge the candidate require more time than a single day, so they have to prioritize and work with a plan.

The trial day is finished by reviewing the code. Observing the reasoning for technical decisions, and how the candidate would proceed. I also like to point out things that could be improved, especially performance stuff, and ask how to improve it.

Of course, a trial day is expensive, so prior screening can't be avoided.

Work history
Education
Possibly GitHub repo
How much pay they're asking
How well they perform in the interview

> one day
Fuck that. What would you be testing, how well the know a languages libraries? That's fucking trivia.

Fizzbuzz, Interment bug hunting, optimization.

All the tests are performed on an MSX computer.

let them install gentoo

...

Well the obvious Sup Forums question is can you install Gentoo, but that still might let some posers by. So you're going to need them to compile there own kernal.

>Google
Dodged a bullet.

>What would you be testing, how well the know a languages libraries? That's fucking trivia.
How they work, how they think, how they overcome difficulties, how they test.

Actual tech-specific knowledge is a very low priority, because every developer will have to learn on the job to become experienced in the company's specific tech stack. From a web dev, I'd just expect basic understanding of how this stuff works. From a Java dev, I expect a solid grasp of the language and the ability to write clean error-tolerant. Those are things that can be determined in a day.

Of course, there's always the possibility to hire an intern for a permanent position who has shown to be competent over a few months.

Sure did

1)pass fizzbuzz instantly with no errors
2)pass another more complex test of choice (max 5min)
3)require more years of experience of those who didn't go to uni but allow
4)pick based on skill not minority status
5)should know log_2(years of experience)+2 languages

>Just for shits and giggles, what would Sup Forums use as criteria for selection?
If a train leaving Cleveland is traveling 63mph and Bob gave one of his apples to Mark and two to Jenny at approximately 8:45am on the seventeenth of May, what direction were they heading?

I wasn't around for the programming socks meme, can someone fill me in?

There you go, but you only get it because you got trips.

Can they install Gentoo? Hired.
Have they ever successfully set up LFS? Hired.
Arch Linux? Not a chance of getting hired.
Uses proprietary software? Not a chance of getting hired.
Trap? Only hired if they're cute and amazing at sucking dick.

>would I want to work with this person daily?
>are they able to work with others?

Way easier to teach someone technical skills than how to interact with others

underrated

this so fucking hard

Must know IBM 360 Assembly.

I don't understand number 5, but I'll buy donuts on Mondays.

thanks :)

Basically the more experience you have the more languages I expect you to know. Minimum is 3 when experience is 0, 7 after 32 years of experience based on that formula. Rough estimate.

should be able to explain A*, BTee and any non-naive string search alg
should know at least basics of C, not to get lost in pointers
should know what RAII or similar ownership model is about
should know how to use crypto, at least on level of that Crypto 101 presentation
should be familiar with unix/linux environment, use ssh and git
let him write some git commit messages to see if he isn't idiot

>Do you like pussy
>Do you have a penis and identify as male
>Do you like playing pool

Everything else is irrelevant

fluent english
actual programming skills and knowledge
quick learner
curious to learn new things
able to make simple deductions (how something works by looking at how it's used)
familiar with both high and low levels (abstract programming and fucking around with bytes)

We don't live in a RPG kiddo. We can learn whatever I want.

>That fizzbuzz article

What a great read. Thanks friend.

I've done interviewing for my company. Criteria is usually
>is this person going to be annoying to work with / be around?
>are they autistic enough to focus on the work instead of sharing cat photos but normie enough to formulate sentences when asked
I give them some impossible problem and ask them to work through it with me by explaining their thought process. Don't care if they solve it just want to see if they have the drive to keep trying things, if their thought process is logical, if they are capable of verbalizing or documenting concepts coherently. The technical skills don't matter, anyone who has an acceptable IQ and actually wants to be there will rtfm and learn whatever needs to be learned, but they do get a bonus if they seem to have a solid understanding of the fundamentals.

- Male
- Over 25
- White
- Not overweight or underweight, physically fit
- Good teeth
- No tattoos or blemished on skin
- No acne or acne scars
- Short hair
- Good eyesight, no glasses
- Good credit history
- No history of substance abuse or problems with the law
- GPA over 3.5
- Master's degree

I think that's about it.

Are you over 50? What a absolutely terrible set of criteria.

A thousand times this. Our entire interview is crafted to test problem solving. Only time we test language skills is if they estimated 9-10 with the HR drones on EVERY language.

Here's what I've found are the best aspects to look for in hirees.
>Initiative: a programmer can't write good code and contribute to a team unless they have the drive to always find the write answer and implement it. They should have personal projects or should have shown initiative at work in the past. They should be excited to keep up to date with the latest technologies.
>Principles: even if a programmer wants to do things right, they can't apply their knowledge unless if they know first principles of software engineering. They should know how to always apply modularity, maintainability, and abstraction.
>Realism: a good programmer should know what it takes to deliver good code, not just write it. This skill comes with experience. A good programmer knows that they need to avoid scope creep. They know that they need to keep the user in mind and deliver a good product. A good programmer knows that they need to do more than write code to be part of a team.

Are you looking for model or a coder?

not him, but what?
Which of those are imply that he is looking for a model?
>- Not overweight or underweight, physically fit
If they can't take care of their body, how can they take care of the product
>- Good teeth
again
>- No tattoos or blemished on skin
tattoos are for degenerates
>- No acne or acne scars
again
>- Short hair
long hair are for woman or degenerates
>- Good eyesight, no glasses
this I can't explain, I have perfect sight, but I don't see the problem with those who don't

hmm...so know two JS frameworks, ruby and properly use emojis in commits?

Just out of curiosity, what type of animal you would be?

woman

Focusing solely on problem solving is not enough. Here are some things a good programmer needs to do after solving a problem.
>estimating how long it will take to finish the problem entirely
>analyzing how any changes made impact the rest of the code base
>analyzing if they've duplicated anything or if there is some established code that can help with what they've done
>writing documentation around the new code and submitting any new standards they've established
>knowing what kind of tests to write around the new code, and how to make good tests surrounding that
>working with other programmers on the problem if necessary, or even non-technical managers
>using their debugging tools to help solve the problem, or learning the tools if they don't know them
And probably more that I'm forgetting.
Even if they don't know all of this, they shouldn't show confusion or frustration when these things are mentioned.
If they show deeper understanding, great, that's a bonus.
I hate this meme where only puzzles are asked during interviews.
I've seen some really shit hires from that process.

Hit too close to home, sweetie? I'm sorry you look like a goblin. You mother just should've never let your daddy stick his penis inside her, if he didn't, we wouldn't be having this conversations right now and you wouldn't get your feelings hurt. So you might as well just kill yourself and try again in next life.

>HR bullshit
HR bisonshit

Bad eyesight means bad genetics, you wouldn't want garbage genes in your office, now would you?

Are you running a software shop or an Aryan baby factory, Mr Hitler?

I prefer at least 20 myself

It's only natural to have pure genes around you, it has nothing to do with Hitler or aryans.

is more stripes better or worse?

As a serious answer, I'd try to analyze their ability to formulate solutions to problems, critically analyze their own solutions (know what's good or bad about it). Ideally, they should be not just willing but also proactive in discussing these things with you and the other interviewers.

>thinking I'm going to work for free
Fuck off.

Tell all the white men to fuck off.

Take half of appliactions and put it into trash bin.
You don't want unlucky people to work in your company, do you?

Ugly people have ugly minds user.

"i browse Sup Forums/g/"

Tell Nazi Punks to Fuck Off

>jewish
Yehuda get out.

where are the cuties here?

Fuck that makes me feel incredibly uneasy. Blergh

>bad eyesight is bad genetics
explain to me why so many scientists wear glasses? don't tell me these have bad genetics too.

>>thinking I'm going to work for free
>Fuck off.
You can either spend five hours in interviews talking to people, or five hours writing code that will never benefit the company anyway because it's a toy project. The latter seems more appealing as an applicant.

5 hours talking to people proves that the company is actually serious and willing to invest their engineer's time in my prospective employment. A 5 hour coding assignment can be sent to 1000 applicants and have some idiot at HR pick one at random.

Man Poettering would never get hired at a good company.

>wanting people to learn skills necessary for their job in their own time
Nope. You can fuck off.

The coding assignment is not sent. It's done on site, on a desk, surrounded by people on the team. You talk, get to know everyone, and at the end of the day, besides knowing how the candidate works, you also got them to know as a person. You wouldn't want to hire someone you can't work with all day long.

"complete the following:"
>install ...

Literally no different. Why the fuck would I need talk to someone to implement a simple toy assignment? I give an entire day of my time and I MIGHT get an engineer to look over my work for 20 minutes at the end of the day.