>Be me >iMac stolen by tyrone >lock imac with find my iphone app >hopefully tyrone is stupid enough to connect it to the internet >hopefully apple is competent enough to store the location of the device as soon as it's been locked >get up this morning >its been locked, tyrone connected it to the internet, but no location >apple has to have the location >call apple support >HELLO THIS IS PAJEET HOW MAY I HELP YOU... STOLEN IMAC? >yes, my imac was stolen can you please give me ANY information at all about it? >NO SIR SORRY THE IMAC IS OFF WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING >thefuck.jpg >can i speak with your supervisor? >YES ONE SECOND SIR >20 minutes later >Yes i am the supervisor of apple, you said you wanted to find your stolen imac? >yes can you please tell me the last known location of it when it locked itself? >No sir, we are sorry. We don't spy on you and we don't store that information. >Sir if you want the location you need to ping the device while it is online >>>while it is online >>>>>>PING IMAC WHILE IT IS ONLINE WHENEVER THE FUCK THAT MAY BE TO GET LOCATION OF IT
please kill me. i have lost all will to live. i will never, ever buy another imac for as long as i fucking live.
>iMac Did Tyrone break into your house or something?
John Foster
good thing that i use an old thinkpad that no one wants to steal
Adam Wilson
:c
Hudson Rodriguez
no I was getting coffee in starbucks and I left it on the table just for a moment
Jack Stewart
yes i was robbed he also stole my car (he dropped the car off somewhere and left with the imac)
Aaron Bennett
>No sir, we are sorry. We don't spy on you and we don't store that information. Soooo... Apple confirmed not a botnet?
Isaac Stewart
Apple "senior advisor" here. Do you idiots honestly think we can just see the location of anyone's device at any moment? Assuming your iMac works, it will attach the last known location to your Apple ID, accessible through iCloud. If it isn't there, it didn't send the last known location.
Deal with it. We have no power if the computer doesn't.
Ethan Morales
Why did you bring it to a coffee shop lmao this isn't a laptop or anything
Samuel Roberts
someone at crapple can see the latest ip that the fruit device connected to the botnet with tho.
Blake Sanchez
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE ADVISOR TOLD ME
FUCK YOU RETARD
I TURNED ON "NOTIFY ME IF FOUND" USUALLY THAT WOULD BE THE SIGNAL TO ATTACH THE LOCATION AS SOON AS IT IS FUCKING LOCKED. WHICH IT DIDN'T.
IT WAS ON AT ONE POINT AND IT DIDN'T ATTACH THE LOCATION
Sebastian Russell
Which requires a subpoena to get. Don't waste Applecare's time with that.
Jace Ortiz
now you should try girls
Ryder Perry
>buying apple trash >expecting anything to work
>tfw you never fell for the applel meme
Jason Powell
>no I was getting coffee in starbucks and I left it on the table just for a moment
thx user you make may day happy
!!!!KEK!!!!!
robed 3 times (apple, starbucks, tyrone)
John Butler
Well let's check if you enabled location ser-- oh right the device is stolen.
So we'll just have to assume you fucked something up. I'd normally assume the thief had some networking background, but considering you got jacked by leaving a 2,000 dollar device in your easily stealable car, I would guess he isn't exactly a pro hacker.
Ethan Morgan
>need subopena to get ip >don't need subopena to get location
Jackson Richardson
Why delete this, theobinney?
Carson Cook
>leaving any electronic device unsupervised
That's what you get, OP. Hopefully now you learned your lesson.
Also, >tyrone Sup Forums is always right.
Blake Robinson
yes
Adam Bailey
it wasn't in my car, the guy took the screen off of my window and took the imac out along with my car keys
William Diaz
because I'm an idiot
Aaron Reed
fuck off
Blake Martin
MO TOI KASHKE KANOYOOOO
Noah Howard
Who the fuck brings a big ass computer to a coffee shop? Your fault for not bringing a laptop instead.
Jose Clark
>no I was getting coffee in starbucks and I left it on the table just for a moment kek
Ethan Murphy
retards THATS NOT ME
Jace Hill
>uses apple shit >calling anyone else retard
Julian Gutierrez
>be me Who else are you going to be retard, also who gives a shit.
Gavin Brown
Full of shit. Applecare hires ONLY a countries native people for phone support.
Used to work there...no fucking pajeets.
OP is full of shit.
Evan Morales
yeah i made up the pajeet part because i was so mad
Joshua Brown
>Dude named Tyrone 'steal' your iMac Return your rectum back to Tyrone, Steven.
Mason Johnson
I take the approach that I'm never getting it back. So encrypt both hard drives, and secure the bios with password and only boot from specific ssd.
Liam Ramirez
iMac doesn't have a GPS in it retard, it's not like a phone
Anthony Wright
Nice joke
Robert Phillips
Windows doesn't have this problem, MS support can just tap into the backdoor for you to remotely power it on and track it down.
Nathan Thompson
You'll never buy another iMac because you're retarded and let it get stolen?
Juan Baker
Meanwhile, of some nog stole my laptop, he would have an encrypted brick that is worth 80 bucks on eBay. And all my important stuff is backed up to a flash drive in a safe.
Jordan Rivera
Pls get off of my board
Elijah Moore
I'm so jaded I can't enjoy it. I think it's a fake story. It's simply too funny.
