Innovation of Jeurig

Has anyone experienced Jeurig? Start your day off with a nice warm cup of Jew shit.

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arstechnica.com/information-technology/2015/12/after-flagging-sales-keurig-goes-private-with-13-9-billion-from-jab-holding/
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Jew poo gives me the 5 hour boost I need

>logo says keurig

arstechnica.com/information-technology/2015/12/after-flagging-sales-keurig-goes-private-with-13-9-billion-from-jab-holding/

>THE JEWS DID THIS

>Sup Forums starts shitting on coffee machines now
Wew lads, we've truly come a long way.

don't talk to me before I've had my morning coffee :)

Lol, no. I use a LIDO 3 and Hario V60

...

To be fair, Keurig have DRM.

God. Fucking. Damnit.
Hans, rev up the final solution to our covfefe problem!

Why doesn't Keurig use PGP?

Each capsule gets a unique serial number.
Serial number is signed by Keurig with private key.
Print signature on capsule as QR code

Keurig machine verifies signature
Refuses unsigned capsule
Refuses repeated use of the same code
Always-on functionality updates global list of used codes to prevent QR code sharing
Refuses to brew if not online at least once every 24 hours

Lower price of machines even more, destroying any competition that doesn't use DRM

>drinking coffee

drink up goy, youll live longer! heheehehe...

this + french press is all you need. i need to get a double wall french press eventually.

oh.. and
Anti-tampering mechanism: erases the firmware and blows a fuse on the logic board
Fuse is encased in material that is very difficult to remove

>not drinking god's uplifter
Kill yourself

French presses are fucking amazing

It's just a quick and easy way to get 1 cup of coffee. Yes you're going to deal with Jew tactics if you want convenience. Just get a French press, a chemex, or an aeropress if you want the good shit.

>boil water
>put couple spoons of coffee in french press
>poor water
>wait 4 minutes
>press, enjoy coffee
god i love it

I was pretty shocked to find out that the vast majority of people do not make coffee using pour over filters, and my parents were not infact simple common folk making simple coffee with a cheap and efficient common method.

They were, infact, geniuses on the bleeding edge of civilization.

>Buying Jew filters for every cup of coffee
Into the trash it goes

congratulations, your parents are using the same methodology as a standard coffee machine, minus the water boiling.

test

krups 15 buck flea market espresso machine master race reporting

whip that milk

I use instant coffee.

>instant coffee

I don't give a fuck as long as it's warm and doesn't taste burnt.

>warm
>not pre-heating the mug with boiling water before pouring in the hot coffee

I use a chemex

I use a french press.

>The state of Sup Forums

Sup Forumsangsters don't use Aeropress anymore? Fix your lives newfriends, you've been missing out!

The only actual patrician ITT.

my mom wanted to have two keurigs on the counter just because we have two
what a retard

Yes Jeurig only allows use of our proprietary K-Cup technology for quality control. Only $1 per 8 oz cup.

I found one of these at GoodWill for $2.99, pretty comfy.

What's with Japs/Australians and instant coffee?

My dad fell for the keurig meme years ago so i took his old drip machine. He has had to replace that shitbox 3 times already and this little shit still makes my shit just fine.