Sup bitches, it's Microsoft here. Just kicking your punk asses

obviously this is not an official Microsoft thread and there is no legal or ethical responsibility of any kind involved in the making and content of this thread.

so, Microsoft's Windows X rolling release IBM distro will be releasing the Fall Creators Update on the 17th for all the bitches out there, but for the OG insider crew, you got it today.

lets talk about what went into this latest update.

First of all, coolest of all, Microsoft Windows X is now the first operating system with Mixed Reality baked right in. You can use it with any headset, and even your phone with one of those stick-your-phone in cheapo headset things that the unwashed masses use for cartoon porn. Yes, it is fucking sick. It's like being in a fantasy sci-fi movie.

Second of all, we've made some improvements to the Windows X shell. YES, WE FUCKING KNOW THAT THERE ARE AESTHETIC BREAKS IN LOTS OF DIFFERENT SUB-MENU'S AND CONTEXT MENU'S. But ricing out your Windows X set-up isn't priority right now, until we get the more important stuff squared away. Really, we're working hard! And yes, the time will come that you will NOT find a more riced or aesthetic OS than Windows X - we have plans for tiling window manager shit like you linux fuccbois think you're good at. Improvements include on-demand file syncing with your cloud hosting, remote desktop through the "My People" hub you now have on your taskbar, and various aesthetic and functional upgrades to make it all slicker.

Windows Edge browser is going to be the best browser, hands down. We just made it faster than Opera and Chromium. Suck our oppressively large cocks, free-tards. (note that if you want Windows X badly enough and you're a broke loser, there are ways to get it for free still. Because we're nice people.) Also, you now have direct PDF and Epub integration into your browser, and you think google docs is good? wait until we finish merging the TEN FUCKING HYPERVISOR LAYERS IN EDGE with microsoft office lite.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=hdOIpQDFaJU
support.microsoft.com/en-us/contactus/
microsoft.com/en-us/Licensing/how-to-buy/how-to-buy.aspx
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Great thread, unfortunately you'll get a lot of bait replies

Here's a list of some of the changes that don't belong to any of the categories above. These changes are just as important as all the others.

Windows is now smart enough to throttle inactive programs. Windows can now adjust Win32 programs DPI without needing to logout. Android users can now see missed call notifications on the desktop when Cortana is synced on their PC and phone. Windows 10 now runs on ARM64 architecture. Cortana now supports dedicated Speaker Devices. Minor elements of the Fluent Design System are present in some areas of the OS. The Photos app now has a new Story Remix area that allows you to create quick video clips. You can now recover your Microsoft Account password directly from the lock screen. Battery life improvements Windows 10 Security enhancements with Windows Defender, Exploit Guard and more. Translucent UI elements now have Acrylic noise. The Mixed Reality Portal icon has been updated. Cortana can now lock, sign out, shut down and restart your PC with voice commands. Windows can now automatically re-setup your account after feature-update is installed, automatically opening apps and more. The Bahnschrift font is now pre-installed. Fixed the issue where USBhub.sys was causing spontaneous reboots due to bugchecks (GSOD). Fixed an issue where your PC might not go to sleep automatically after remoting into it and signing out of the remote session.

emote desktop through the "My People" hub you now have on your taskbar

are you fuckign retarded?

is tje new shell going to be a gpu killer? it looks like its always running a full on 3d engine so im a little concerned

Subscribed

>no, no iphone

But what did he mean by this?

youtube.com/watch?v=hdOIpQDFaJU

I don't give a fuck about any of the shit you mentioned but the WSL improvements are fucking dope.

Serious question.
Why the fuck did my windows suddenly stop allowing PIN log in and asks for my actual Microsoft office password instead?

I dodged a bullet because I use a password manager with long and random passwords for most of my online accounts but luckily I didn't do that to my outlook password so I still remember it by heart.

This started happening after a recent update. Don't know if it's a common problem but if it is you faggots probably locked a lot of people out of their own PCs. Fucking retards.

17th?
Sorry, Gran Turismo sport is lauched that day.
I'll be busy.
>shilling for free in a shilling for free thread

Thanks for your support that contributes to our over-whelming market share, anonymous. People like windows because it just works. And we're making it better every day, because we're proud of it. It's not all about the money - believe me, if we wanted to squeeze more money than we do out of our services and products, we could.

And if you really want to worry about your paranoid fears of your browser history being revealed to the world and/or black helicopters coming to take you away for knowing too much, it's google that you should be concerned about; but don't worry. Microsoft is busy creating it's own compelling line of software and internet services that will allow you to control your own data in the way that matters - how OTHER people like you interact with it.

you'll still be caught for committing crimes and yes, we'll continue feeding the combined responses of 2.5 billion people into machine learning super-clusters to learn more about ourselves in humanities eternal quest to find out what makes us tick or some other nonsense like that, but, you won't have to worry about other people identifying or harming you because of your activity online. THAT is the safety that Microsofts network of services will guarantee you in the near future.

and just like how google started, we're starting with a NEW kind of search engine that lets you have hands on control to how you approach the algorithms that let you search in the way you want to. No gimmicks for advertising or for information control. We've decided that we can avoid taking sides in the blah blah blah by just letting YOU control the results you want to get through some fairly simple features that can get more in depth if you want them - ultimately empowering you to find content on the Internet the way YOU want to, instead of the way that GOOGLE wants you to.

wait until you find out about our cloud video hosting services that will involve a distributed peer-to-cloud-to-peer competitor to youtube.

that would be something to talk to tech support about. I apologize for any inconvenience - as far as i know very few people used pin.

support.microsoft.com/en-us/contactus/

(don't abuse the AI, she's new, just ask to chat with a human)

thank you.

Join the windows insider program, we'd love to hear your feedback - we really do listen, and it really does help. as soon as you join between now and the 17th, you'll be able to update your computer at will. it's a big one this time around, might take 15 minutes or so, but you can just do it before bed and it'll turn off your computer for you when it's done.

hey, the people asked for emojii's. the people got emojiis. whaddya want from us.

nope, we continue to tighten our code up and make improvements. our optimization department reports that windows X is an average of 14% faster than it was one year ago, in virtually all use-case scenarios.

by removing legacy shell back-end, we're actually reducing memory usage and the size of windows X in general - we're deleting two pieces of the engine and replacing them with a single more streamlined device, in layman's terms. and in the process, making a smoother and more ergonomic user interface that also looks sexier.

Please accept this token of gratitude for all your hard work, Pajeet.

Wow! I love the botnet now! All those great features are coming I can barely contain my excitement! Looking forward to the vp9 support of edge!

Sorry mang. There is no way you read all if that and typed out a reply in 36 seconds. Nice try samefagging though

it wouldn't have bumped if it was a samefag. lurk more

>Looking forward to the vp9 support of edge!
Yeah, keep waiting.

>this blatantly overt shilling

wow

New LTSB when?
Pls don't tell me 2019.

do you actually have a volume licensing agreement?

there's no rule against microsoft posting on Sup Forums, which is not happening and not what this is.

>literally shilling a new update for wangblowsOS

ok kiddo also when is coming faggot. oh right, a patent free video codec that M$ can't profiteer from isn't in there interest.

>literally shilling a new update for the best operating system to ever exist in the past, the present, or the future, on this or any of the 10,000 worlds of the cosmic alliance

whats your point?

>on this or any of the 10,000 worlds of the cosmic alliance
Not to speak for the entirety of the Altourukian race, but Gradzak 4.61 is easily the best operating system available to date. The fact that you wouldn't (and still won't) adapt to tentacle-based typing speaks volumes of your inability to adapt, despite your constant claims to the contrary.

No. Answer the question please.

>obviously this is not an official Microsoft thread and there is no legal or ethical responsibility of any kind involved in the making and content of this thread.
Next time buy a banner.

:3

Now that Windows Phone is kill, what's happening to the Windows Store?
What is the future of application development in Windows?

if enterprise isn't working for you, it's probably because you don't need enterprise. there's a lot of people that just want to get rid of the marketplace and some default software like cortana and photos and groove, so they want to use enterprise, but honestly, it's all in your head. just disable the stuff you don't want and get your own default apps.

How do I get LTSB legally? I want to self-verify my SHA1 hash and install a legit copy on my machine.

How do i get it free?

Windows 10 Pro for Workstations provides ReFS. Will this new version delegate ReFS to Home and Pro versions of Windows 10?

When I can modify all the source code I'll consider using it. Until then, fuck off with your spyware. Poo in the loo.

Splendid job Mr. Pajeet, 0.1$ has been transfered to your account.

With regards,
Microsoft

You can shove it full of as many buggy gimmick features as you want, but it's still Windows, and the only reason it isn't dead by now is because Microsoft unethically destroyed all the competition years ago. I'm glad I ditched that dumpster fire of an operating system.

>using an OS that has no kernel documentation and is essentially a pyramid of shitty and less shitty code

This is some pretty good Microsoft fanfic. OP, are you going to use this for your application to MS's marketing department?

nice dubs and nice OS, buddy! but you'll have to upgrade by 2020 - windows 7 will not work past that date.

to be entirely honest there's division in the ranks on where to go with the window store. it's not our favorite thing. obviously, we're all on board with creating a microsoft ecosystem, but, the windows store... man, nobody fucking uses it and some upper management wants us to find a way to MAKE people use it, which nobody actually wants to do because A. it's not going to work and B. it's going to piss people off.

in this update, we're beginning the process of making your phone part of your computer - eventually we want anyone, anywhere, to be able to use their phone, be it android, ios, anything, to access their windows computer - even have remote SSH style startup features. personally i have no idea what the future of windows phones is. it's a great idea but fucking massive headache not to mention the marketing side. but even if that all falls down, the phone-computer integration is still going down, hard.

(800) 426-9400

give me a burner email and i'll respond with a burner email, if you really, really want a copy of windows 10 for free.

yes.

So, upper management decided they've gone too far with the Windows Store to outright kill it, and it's going to be around for a while.

Would you personally recommend WPF, UWP, or some other framework for application development?

>Would you personally recommend WPF, UWP, or some other framework for application development?

not my forte here. but if you have a niche that you can successfully fill and monetize, the platform and foundation should make things easier for you to get to market with a leaner team. that's if it's something actually useful that people will pay money for.

>So, upper management decided they've gone too far with the Windows Store to outright kill it, and it's going to be around for a while.

lots of people honestly do want to kill it, but some of the wiser heads suggest we make it something more like a web-browser add-ons library, where it focuses solely and strictly on ways to extend and alter windows itself, instead of random spurious sundry all-sorts-of-shit that it's got going on now. which personally i think is a good idea because like i said, nobody is fucking using the store. NOBODY is just browsing the store like "window shopping" as people do sometimes on other device stores. desktop users tend to know what they want most of the time and just download it off the internet, or, they google it and THEN download it off the internet.

wow, an actual autistic shill
kill yourself before you infect other people with it

>stallman

>calling anyone or anything disgusting

now this is next level hypocrisy

>promise a bunch of amazing shit
>deliver literal shit
you can't EVER get me interested again, pajeet, go fuck a goat

>in this update, we're beginning the process of making your phone part of your computer

just stop with consumer space already, nobody wanted MS to be applel or google

>more like web browser addons
Sounds like the way to go. I was personally planning on making a Sup Forums app with off-the-wall features that only I could possibly care about, like viewing threads and posts as a graph, grouping posts together based on topic, and using NLP to intelligently gain context towards what a thread is about, to filter them.
If I do it right, I should theoretically be able to apply a cryptocurrency filter on /biz/ and filter the entire board.

the future is all devices working together in a seamless, homogeneous mesh. the foundation is being laid for you to very naturally be able to do things like, i don't know, bad example, but, say you wanted to render something on your phone, it should be no problem to access your workstation at home and have it act as a render node for your phone. remote desktop from your android or ios device. just all sorts of good shit is possible, but needs to be made a little easier for the average person.

the future is bright.

and it's a lot brighter with google having to compete with the microsoft ecosystem, because as i mentioned earlier, Microsoft understands that you want your data and identity protected from OTHER PEOPLE - not from supercomputing clusters and men in black. and google currently feels as though it can do anything, and try to make 'a better world' - but Microsoft just wants better computing. We will take a strongly neutral stance on all social issues, while empowering users to express themselves and use the internet the way they want without fear. We will do this by giving people control over their search engine and social media software - as you might know facebook is on the way out, google plus has always been dumb, anyone that bought into twitters IPO is still dumb, and you have places like snapchat and instagram thriving because they're simple and they work. we're going to create distributed peer-to-cloud-to-peer social networking capabilities baked right into the operating system.

the future is freedom.

I'm sorry to hear that you'll be going with a different operating system. Can you describe the nature of the problem you experienced with windows 10 so that we can correct these mistakes and improve our software? we're only human, after all.

>a Sup Forums app with off-the-wall features that only I could possibly care about, like viewing threads and posts as a graph, grouping posts together based on topic, and using NLP to intelligently gain context towards what a thread is about, to filter them.

i want this.

>(800) 426-9400
>Microsoft: 'Windows Support' Phone Scams on the Rise

Nice nice nice.

So am I getting those "Fluent Design" aesthetics or not?

They're already there

Open calculator

microsoft.com/en-us/Licensing/how-to-buy/how-to-buy.aspx

it's a valid number to purchase a volume licensing agreement.

oh yeah. it's not perfect - we expect windows 10 to be around till at least 2034 - but you should see what my fucking start menu is doing right now. sexy af. and microsoft edge is the best, cleanest looking browser out there now.

>I'm sorry to hear that you'll be going with a different operating system.
i didn't say that, i'm stuck with your shitty company and your shitty os, and so many of us are stuck, that's why you can afford to be so shitty in the first place

Can you describe the nature of the problem you experienced with windows 10 so that we can correct these mistakes and improve our software?

Is there any plans to release something kin to LTSB to the public at any point in the future, or at least render a broader means to disable unwanted services using first party utilities or is MS dead set on continually degrading user-specified functionality and interfacing?

I wish advertising were still a bannable offense

what sorts of unwanted services do you mean?

>Windows 7 will not work past that date
Stop spreading FUD you shill. Not getting updates and not working are two different things

Edge, Market, Cortana, Groove Music, Camera, Tablet Mode, Maps, Mixed Reality shit, One Drive, telemetry.

I also want selective updates so I can avoid feature updates until they're proven stable, only applying security updates as I so choose. They should not reinstall applications I've manually, and deliberately removed, either.

i didn't mean not getting updates. it's a date baked into the os. you might be able to get around it by doing something to your motherboard, but then you'd also have to stop the internet from telling windows 7 from what day it is.

do you have a source on that? Microsoft would not just cut off the OS working like that. They are not that stupid or that cruel.
>inb4 you won't post a source, you'll just make dubious claims

no, sorry. unless you're going to get your hands on the special versions of windows that allow you to, those things are going to remain there.

to be honest if you're working with so few resources that these things are a problem for you, linux might actually be a good idea. the idea here is that most people aren't going to care if they're just sitting there, and nobody can learn to like them if they're not there.

>They should not reinstall applications I've manually, and deliberately removed, either.
They fixed the bug.
>only applying security updates as I so choose
You can defer them.
>so I can avoid feature updates until they're proven stable
You can defer them.

Telemetry is unavoidable in 2017 regardless of service, if it connects to the internet it's utilizing your data in whichever way it sees fit. If this isn't acceptable for you I highly recommend disconnecting from all technology and becoming a luddite instead of posting on Sup Forums. Or just go linux if you just want a system that does nothing but use a web browser. Chromebook are like what $99 now?

Basically I want a "featureless edition", with the barest bones W10 available. The amount of shit included with W10 and the amount of time it takes to set the fucking start menu up is inexcusable. Whats more is the design is shit. Why can't I put custom shortcuts on the left side so I don't have to use shitty tiles, taskbar, or desktop icons. Why was it decided that a scrolling list was a better option than the previous iterations of the start menu?

we have to get bigger than that

fuck wangblows

it's three years from now, user. you have plenty of time to upgrade. there will probably be another publicized giveaway of win10 around that time.

it costs microsoft money to even think about computers running windows 7. there will probably be a final service pack that will be given to any computers running POS terminals or other things on windows 7 so they can continue running as they are without change, but it's time to move on at a point.

>not thinking he could just have posted from his phone

Mcfucking kill yourself

>Why can't I put custom shortcuts on the left side
But you can. Are you not aware of the start menu folder that has existed in Windows for decades now?
Or that you can set folders to appear at the very left? Or that you can get rid of the scrolling list or tiles entirely?

>Linux does nothing but use a web browser
I feel like one of the responsibilities of a shill should be to know what the competition is capable of. Because you just sound like a moron, especially considering your precious OS has WSL installed, which wouldn't be necessary if Linux is only used for web browsing
Nice source you faggot. Post a source that Windows 7 WILL STOP WORKING after 2020 due to some function or signal from MS. Will XP stop working? Will any other older version of Windows stop working? I'm not going to update to Windows 10. I can't stand Microsoft and I can't stand Windows 10.

Enjoy linux, buddy!

I honestly don't care about what Linux is capable of, it's strongest application is its utilization in servers so at the very least the piece of shit can run a web browser. After all, the linux shills (like you) around here constantly go on about utilizing an operating system that effectively does nothing but browse the web so you can shitpost on Sup Forums.
But here's the funny twist, you're only angry because your life is fucked up all because of your own faults - yet here you are trying to displace that anger onto Microsoft, Windows, and me. Fix your life bitch, no operating system fucking will.

>Linux shill
I never said I use Linux. I just called you out on your lack of knowledge, nice job projecting though.

Microsoft Windows 10 Disclaimer:

>Will not fix your life and Microsoft is not liable for what happens in your life as a result of using Windows 10.

HEY NIGGER CAN YOU FIX THE BUG WHERE UPDATING WINDOWS 10 DESTROYS THE BOOT PARTITION OF DRIVES THAT WINDOWS 10 ISN'T EVEN INSTALLED ON
HOW DO YOU EVEN MAKE THAT "BUG" IN THE FIRST PLACE

THANKS NIGGER

This thread made me accept our jewish overlords. I want a tiling w10, holy shit!

Yeah, they finally get what Linux and Mac had for decades. They're really pushing the envelope there
Nice source on your windows 7 claim

Do elaborate, faggot.

>Mixed Reality baked right in
Yawn
>on-demand file syncing
Yawn
>remote desktop
Is it fucking 1998 again?
>to make it all slicker
You just said literally nothing
>Windows Edge browser is going to be the best browser
Objectively false
>we're nice people
comeonnow.jpg
>PDF and Epub integration into your browser
Yawn
>TEN FUCKING HYPERVISOR LAYERS
Great, even more RAM usage than ever before! Compiled over 10,000 times in 10 hypervisors! Impossible to debug!

You are so fucking lame, this would have just barely been exciting in 2005.

But will Edge get webm support yet?

holy crap :^D

the grass really IS greener, my man.

>Edge
>improved compatibility

I know this is ironic but it sure sounds like that one insider image

More fucking features instead of fixing the shit you already have

How about giving some priority to the UI, you know the thing people see every day on Windows?

B-but Mixed Reality on your cartoon porn watching gadgets!

>tfw

Your attached picture hides important information. If you set Telemetry to Security on Ent/Edu, you are stuck on CB, ie no CBB for you. Also if you are running Pro, enjoy losing features little by little. Next edition of Windows released could very well be Windows 10 Pro Pharmaceutical edition, which in turn prohibits regular Windows 10 Pro from running healthcare apps after a build update.

Good morning!
柊udience claps・
Thank you for being with us.
柊udience claps・
We have some powerful new devices to show you.
柊udience claps・
You know, iPhone/Mac is the most powerful/popular device in the world.
柊udience claps・
This year we sold more iPhones/Macs than ever before.
柊udience claps・
And now, I'm pleased to introduce the new [Mac/iPhone].
柊udience claps・
The [Mac/iPhone {number}] is our best, and most powerful [Mac/iPhone], ever.
柊udience claps・
Now, I'd like to introduce my friend Phil Schiller to tell you more.
柊udience claps・
Thank you, Tim. The [Mac/iPhone {number}] is truly amazing, and will impact your life in truly amazing ways.
柊udience claps・
You could always [perform a task] but now with [new name for the feature that already exists in other phones/computers] it will be even easier to [perform a task].
柊udience claps・
Now I'm going to hand it back to Tim.
柊udience claps・
Amazing. The [Mac/iPhone {number}] will be available for [more than it's worth] [a week from Sunday].
柊udience claps・
Now join me in welcoming [mediocre band].
柊udience claps・

>on-demand file syncing with your cloud hosting
this better be working fucking properly

functioning as intended, abdul.

Will Windows 10 continúe putting unsolicited ads in the lock screen and Start menu?

Oh it will?

Then piss off, Microsoftie.

it's not unsolicited because they only appear if you specifically left "suggestions" enabled during installation. if you were dumb enough to do this you can still just open the settings panel and turn them off

1703 build 15063, "transparency effects" are enabled

>WE
is currysoft really shilling on Sup Forums now? or are you a neckbeard fanboii?

Can you put a "back" button in edge's useless context menu please? Maybe "reload" too if you have any time left after turning the shell into some obnoxious demo reel no-one wants?

Can you post a source on your claim that Windows 7, specifically, will stop working in 2020?

did they fix the HDR mode?

Pajeet, tell Microsoft I only need this shit on whrn playing games and watching movies, keep this shit off otherwise

You guys really need to make Windows programs work more like macOS programs in that they won't spread files and folders into 8 different system directories. Sandbox them or something.
And let Win32 apps into the Store. You'll increase the amount of people (first devs) using it tenfold, kind of like Ubuntu's software center and (again) macOS app store. Having a centralized repository of programs that AREN'T restricted to UWP (at least on x86_64 CPUs) will GREATLY increase the utility and appeal of the store.

>柊udience claps
你头里长柊了是吗

>new search engine
why are you still even trying? has windows mobile not failed bigly enough for you?

I don't really care about any of that shit.

LTSB or die.