EXCEL TEAM AMA

hello this is microsoft excel team, ask us anything :)

even microsoft runs excel on mac because it performs better there. what a sad piece of shit excel is

>Microsoft doesn't give Surface BookPro to it's employees

Shit company.

Thinkpads outnumber macs tho

what thinkpads are those? looks like the yoga?

why isn't there more diversity in your team?

Fire the woman

I am switching from CS to another career. Everyone in CS is ugly, I can't work while cringing and being aware of how ugly everyone around me is.

That bottom bezel looks like a t470

The lack of diversity in op really offends me. Hoe does M$ keep getting away with this?

theird be no one using the toilets then

I'm seeing volume buttons
You sure?

That looks like the function key row, which look round probably because of bad photo quality. The only think I'm sure about is that fuckhuge bezel, I've only seen it on t470

Why the fuck do you roll your own C compiler?

>microsoft diversity and inclusion
>microsoft autism program

wat dat user?

...

when they can't even agree on a laptop standard, i don't want to be the guy having to merge their development branches kek

Google's version of spreadsheets has made Excel legacy software. It's over, Excel team. No questions for you. And your operating system is shit.

.... the aristocrats!

...

underrated.

What do you think about hungarian notation and the bastardization that is systems hungarian

What?
Excel is shit on Mac, and missing half the functionality

>pajeets

your program is cancer microsoft. wtf why is it so slow?

>hello this is microsoft excel team, ask us anything :)
whats it like piggybacking off the work of others who actually accomplished something?

Where are the niggers? Fucking racists

Why everybody have a effeminate face?

So what do these guys even do? i haven't seen improvements or new features since forever

Do they just juggle the UI around for gibs?

Cuz OP is a faggot and seattleite faggots are fell-fed faggots.

this is the team shoving more useless templates into the excel start screen

why can i use libre office for free and its better?

Ahahahah there is only one mac pictured and all the other computers are surface books, surface tablets or lenovos.

Too many pajeets

>Google spreadsheets
You do realize that Google spreadsheets are not industry standard, right?

You also realize that Google spreadsheets are less accurate and have fewer features, RIGHT?

>Sup Forums is now literally just images from reddit while anons attempt to be witty with their 'sick burns'
well that's one way to get me to stop coming back

Really? It wasn't the racism or the fluffies or the furries or the ponyfags or the weeaboo trash that didn't make you leave the website?

Tell me about it. Find and Replace is borked.

I count 4.

13 inch 2013-2015 model MBP (opened)
13 or 15 inch 2016-2017 model MBP (closed with glasses on top)
(Both at lower left of the photo)

11 inch MBA (difficult to determine age as same body design been used from 2010-2015, design discontinued with MBA 2017 release which was 13 inch).
Old 2008 model 15-inch MBP (surprised to be see those are still around, this is by the top right corner of the desk and barely noticeable as a Mac).
(near centre of the photo or end of the desk before the projector).

>mac users
>working at microsoft

>less accurate

The fuck does that even mean nigger? Either the math comes out or the math does not, and if it does not, it's a hardware problem.

Why would I be upset with fetishes, a social behavior majority of people have, or anime?
The constant reposting of reddit content while everyone tries to act holier than thou is pointless though. There's no reason to use Sup Forums anymore. It's nothing but reddit reposts in attempt to bait god knows who. Even on reddit you'll find anime, racism, and furries. More organized too hysterically.

They have to make a windows and a mac version so they use both

the irony of calling your product excel when microsoft has never excelled at anything jaja

There's 2 apple laptops there blindy

Why is microsoft shit?

what's with the perfusion of people of the indian persuasion

There's 3. Two 13" MBPs and 1 MBA. Who gives a shit anyway. It's not fucking hard to run Windows on a Mac.

shit taste user flat is justice

>those stains

Why are macs such shoddy cheaply built pieces of shit?

...

...

How else are you going to milk 30% profit margin from brainlets?

You can't honestly expect applel to give customers real build quality for their money if they want to make those margins.

>pajeets
>at Microsoft

Nothing unusual at all.

how can i make an excel filter macro, where i define what i DON'T want rather than what i DO want?

it's a report that's pulled where the constant info is unwanted, the changing data is. can't really make a macro saying "show only X" if it changes each time as it stands as i am stupid

>Either the math comes out or the math does not, and if it does not, it's a hardware problem.
That is the stupidest thing I've read in a while

it's 2017. I find it pretty unlikely people can't find a fucking MPFR or at least read the docs for GNU MPFR and make their own.

what the fuck by inaccuracy do you even mean?

Honestly Excel is pretty useful. They allow add-ins, performance has never been an issue for me (despite dealing with CSVs and Excel spreadsheets with tens of thousands of entries for gaming benchmarks), and they have a ton of useful built-in functions.

Can't complain.

Left to Right

1. Hernandez: Sec middle management who is here to write up Carrie from HR for not logging out of her work station. Somehow he became part of the photo.

2. Isaac: Intern who moonlights as a YouTube game reviewer

3. Mya: Diversity hire who writes garbage code. Time is allocated for rewriting her commits for every project sprint.

4. Dan: Manlet who got his engineering degree through the military. Has at least one sit down in HR a weak for anger issues.

5. Sam (sitting): Openly gay NRA conservative. Self medicates his crippling OCD with alcohol. Highly productive programmer.

6. Ahmed: White washed a-raab who once confided in Kevin that he can only get hard to 16 year olds boys.

7. Kevin: Mormon and Mensa member. Lately keeps his distance from Ahmed.

8. Santiago: Filipino janitor who was asked to wear a shirt and pose for a photo. Is glad he can sit down.

9. Larry (sitting): Thom's Dad visiting from West Virginia. Wheelchair bound. Doesn't know anything about computers. Can't speak correctly since his last stroke. Communicates through grunting and moaning.

10. Thom (standing): Was known as Tom back home but remnamed himself Thom with an H when he moved to Seattle. Graphic designer who wishes Larry would eat a more vegan diet.

11. Greg: A Google spy who is confident he has what he needs.

12. Carrie: HR and event coordinator. Keeping her distance from Hernandez.

13. Rodger (sitting): Trump voter and anime enthusiast who ensures Office.com works properly on GNU/Linux.

14. Ben: Jewish. Professional UX complainer who frequently leaves passive aggressive post-it notes quoting Stephen Colbert on Rodger's desk.

15. Craig (sitting): Transfer from the Xbox team to ensure excel documents render correctly on xbox live. Likes only popular games and mountain climbing. Idolized by Isaac.

16. Serge: Can't be understood through his thick French accent. Nobody is really sure what he does but he shows up to work on time.

17. Penelope: Formerly Philip. Penelope just transitioned 6 weeks ago. HR sent out a memo reminding everyone to tell him how pretty he is or they are fired.

Are you still in HS cause Excell is clearly the only acceptable spreadsheet in business.

is that a dude?

You are misinformed if you still think Google hasn't made Excel obsolete.

no. Clearly a female. Can't you tell by the feminine penis?

Actually there's 5 macs pictured here. 2 at the lower left, and the rest of them at the top and top right

my bad, I missed the buldge down there

Nobody uses google sheets. They're too shit.

Ok. Think o-outside the bun.

i love worksheets, but excel is such a generic product that it doesn't make any sense not using a free alternative

ebin

LOL @ the tranny on the far right

Faggots

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY WHITE MALES ON YOUR TEAM ROOOOOOOOOOOO

Use Power Query to make a change log of the two reports, and filter based on that.
Or you can probably use VBA.

Power Query and Power pivot are unstable pieces of shit though.

6 Pajeets 3 women

>The fuck does that even mean nigger? Either the math comes out or the math does not, and if it does not, it's a hardware problem.
I'm going to tell this to my boss next time the numbers are wrong on something I worked on. Thanks, user-ji!

REGULAR EXPRESSION IN FORMULA
Is it so hard?

Is it correct that all you do now is Sharepoint integration features and bug fixes? Everything else seems to be stalled.

>>those stains
its a feature

python + pajeet

Jessica for god's sake take your iphone off the table!

Why can't they fully open their standards they say are open?

MS needs more pajeets

just wanted to thank you for making this amazing product.its beyond me why not a single company or freetard cant make a fucking spreadsheet software thats actually good.my genuine thanks guys great job.

Kill yourself..... don't ask! Just do it