Amazon Key

Where were you when Amazon offered a formal variation of breaking and entering?

>cute amazon delivery girl
>not some balding cigarette smoking hobo

>pajeets and normal fags will jump at the opportunity to be cucked by amazon
I don't know if I should feel happiness or dread

That's on purpose.

With as brazen as they're getting, they might as well offer a """smart""" vending machine to keep inside your house that you have to pay electronically to get food out of and just eliminate delivery altogether.
Also now with Amazon echo built in.

is it fair I'm slowly jerking it while wearing headphones and don't hear her knock before cumming inside?

it will be a fat Mexican dude

>2024
>you will receive a confirmation prompt before our certified employee inserts the pleasure product into the orifice of your choosing

>amazon "worker" opens my door
>is now legally allowed to search my entire home
nope

I'm going to build my house with 2 front doors for this

She will sue you for the sexual harassment.

>Build additional cloud lock
> lock the door when she is inside
>?
>pusi

>be police
>get amazon to open door for you
>constitution does not apply because it's not amazon's door (just like cloud data)
wew now it's clear why the CIA was a heavy early investor in bezos

Or you could go back to the standard of the 1800s: Entrance in 2 pieces
Where the first area is for shoes and to insulate the house, and the second area is the actual foyer.

and the 3rd is my loli dungeon/command center

>not having a vestibule in your house

Fucking plebs itt

This post is dumb and you should feel dumb.

inb4 a delivery boy leaves his phone at a bar.

>vestibule
An area where niggers can hide and rapemurder your family in the night?
Vestibules work only in homogenous high trust societies. Which the US is not since you imported all those shitskins.

Wait so how does this work? You need to have a """smart""" house that has doors that can be unlocked with your phone?

>deadbolts no longer exist
Retard

Good god what a horribly bad idea. Amazon you're drunk again see me after class.

Like my grandma's house (seriously this is part of my grandma's house) But I don't think it's that old, maybe more like 40s/50s old?

I like the idea of delivery people having access to a safe spot to store my packages in, but it shouldn't give them access to the entire house. Why not make a big external "safe" that operates with this lock, that only stores packages basically?

A giant megacorp installing a remotely controlled security camera and door locks in your home doesn't sound like dystopian sci fi at all.

All the houses in my area are like that

It's the superior design

>itt, people that live in Detroit or LA
I wouldn't even need this, I don't even lock my door.
I can also take delivery of a package to my front porch, and it will be there when I get home.
That's what it's like when you're white.

Back to Sup Forums

Just live in a wealthy/well off area. Being white has nothing to do with it. Too bad most of Sup Forums are NEETs so they can only afford to live in ghettos with their autism bux

Good thing I have nothing to hide.

Absolutely this. Can we get some shots of Jamal and Tyrone with a (stolen) phone getting ready to rob, rape and murder you at the press of a button? Hmm no that would literally never happen! Go ahead and have your home locks turned into some shitty consumer grade "smart" device where the last fucking thing taken into consideration is it's actual primary purpose. What could possibly go wrong?

Amazon's bluetooth locks are actually pretty good.

>Giving the underpaid and overworked Amazon [strikethrough]slave[/strikethrough] delivery guy the key to your house

ISHYGDDT

You guys need to take your meds and get off of Sup Forums. Your delusions aren't reality

deliveries in rear

Delivery boy here.
No fucking way I'm opening the fucking door, only to be eaten alive by your fucking dog.
I'll just leave your shit at the fucking door, as always.
Just don't buy expensive stuff online if you can't even be there to receive it.

>Only buy expensive stuff if you can be at home 24/7 for the next 3 weeks
Yeah, that's realistic.

>online
Just get your ass to an actual shop, or don't come crying that your stuff was never delivered.
Amazon pays nothing for their deliveries, so they get shit deliveries.
It's their own fucking fault for jewing out of requiring a signature.
Now they pull up this joke because they're tired of 'lost packages'?
That's a fucking nope for me.

How about you fucking schedule it then? Call me up and say when you're coming you fucking cunt

>Just get your ass to an actual shop
>Just pay an exorbitant amount of money goy! Just forget about all that ease of use of online shopping, and shoulder the bad deliveries yourself!

Just ship it to an Amazon locker. I'm sure you have one near you.

>DP to HDMI cable
>Amazon: < £3
>Maplin: £25

For tech, online shopping is retarded. You'll never find all those niche things you require. I spent like 3 fucking days trying to find a pentalobe screwdriver IRL, not possible. Physical stores just cannot have the range of things that everyone wants.

Amazon logistics here. Rabbits aren't really phones, the delivery drivers need them to be able to scan each box upon delivery, and the end of their shift they checked by return and collected by their dispatcher. The real question is how long are they going to be stuck on the phone with their dsps when they leave it on top of the box and close the door and then have to be rescued.

ITT: pedophiles.

If you're that paranoid just don't use their service.

>Your delusions aren't reality
No but the nigs stealing your shit are very much so.

>max 1080p
>25 Brit euro's
>white

Confirmed for targeting Apple users.

I used to be a mailman when I was still a student.

Can confirm: dogs will be a huge problem.
Should be limited to people without dogs.

All their adapters for everything are in this price range. After talking to someone working there he mentioned that's where they make their profit.

>not having a vestibule with gunports to use as a killzone

Tell me about the last time some "nigs" stole something from you.

>tfw live in a respectable white area with low crime rate and don't have to worry about this

kek

Your fault for living in a shit neighborhood

What's wrong with leaving at the door or just collecting it from the nearest point once you get home? Unless you're getting shit delivered to you every single day this new gadget doesn't serve any purpose.

If it's respectable and low crime you shouldn't have an issue with your goods being left at your doorstep.

I love that design.

I'd rather go to one of their future B&M stores than use this delivery option.

Go away, Sup Forums. There's no way a democrat mega donor company run by a homosexual atheist who is one of the biggest welfare recipients for user data would be untrustworthy with peoples' privacy.

My house is like that. It was built before the 1940s, no idea exactly how old though.

ITS CALLED A PORCH

I think a porch is on the outside.

Come on in i promise i dont have doggo :^)

i ordered a glass tea kettle and a filthy do rag wearing nigger threw it on the ground in front of my house. I open the door and say what the fuck was that and he just keeps walking. Called amazon and got that nigger fired.

its called a mudrood desu

*mudroom

Lol someone post this guy the webm of that nig bashing that Asian babysitter over and over and stealing shit while the terrified girl sits on the couch.

>door has a electric lock
i don't

>carriage has horses
mine doesn't

>What's wrong with leaving at the door or just collecting it from the nearest point once you get home?

First part: niggers.

Second part: It's 2017 and for some stupid reason it's still not possible to collect your package from a convenient point.
Usually I can pick it up at some cigar shop that's only open from 10AM to 5PM.
And even if I make it home before 5 this still takes 24 hours longer because fuck logic.
At my supermarket I can only pick up packages from one specific webshop they have a deal with.
...and then only just SOME products they sell because again: fuck logic.

Vestibule

That is the foyer, by definition.

What's behind it is probably a hallway.

Why don't they just have weather-proofed packaging, or a small disposable weather-proofed tent that goes over the package?
Maybe invent something with an NFC lock that somehow ties with an app to your phone or some shit

idk

A porch is attached the the main building.
A foyer is part of the main building.

why not just make a drop box with a lock?

even with a big vending machine, there would be terrible selection for the items

that would be way too simple and uncool

See, that's the thing.
Why the fuck are people so fucking bent on getting their shit so fucking fast?
What's the fucking emergency?

I heard about these things

no, its a vestibule if its inside the house

These are great. Except when they're full and your parcel ends up miles away from where it should be.

>CGI render of something that should have been in every street for the last 15 years.

Thats a self defence scenario right there

Why not just buy a small shed from Home Depot, attach a lock to it, and have them deliver whatever package into there? The most they could steal is a shovel or something.

That wouldn't give them the publicity like doing something stupid like this.

White suburbia is the best

Yeah, it's useful in some cases, but you have no idea what most people order online.
Sometimes, shitty Amazon packages are half opened, and you get a glimpse at the content.
Just from the past two weeks :
-fucking Panzani pasta
-fucking scissors.

This shit is almost all of Amazon's business.
Literally something you could get anywhere, but you're way too lazy to think about it before clicking.

>>/csg/

will new homes be build like this with amazon in mind?

>come home from work
>find amazon employee half naked jizzing in your shampoo with your toothbrush up his ass

Welp

wanting to discuss IRL security issues without broaching socioeconomic realities. get fucked kid.

For proper houses? It can be traced back further than 1170, the oldest building i have seen with that.
For fucks sake, you can find parts of that design in roman mansions.

Like, the entire point is that you open door, drag on cold, close door. And then open the inner door and enter the house, without wasting precious hot air. Any house over a certain size will have a vestibule, simply because it fends off the harsh teeth of winter.

Thats assuming the first room can have clothes in it, and the second room is the central staircase or hallway of the house.
It doesn't have to be.
Just like how it doesn't have to be a Mudroom either, because Mudrooms needs things to be one.

If they just would put letter sized deliveries in my mailbox, that would be a huge improvement.
But nope, they deliver a smaller piece of paper saying "oh nooo, you weren't home when we looked at your door, so you can pick the letter up tomorrow at the postal office."
If I could sign off on things over the phone, that would be great.

yea because I'm sure they updated you on the status of the complaint you filed,and informed you he got fired. Jesus fuck, you're projecting pretty hard you sperg

>I'm so desperate for my consumergarbage that a stranger working for peanuts has to literally bring it inside my house for me to be satisfied
What's next? Paying Amashit to have a warehouse in my closet?
haha, no thanks

Guess they need to do this in certain areas just in case a bad gust of diversity sweeps the package away

>using """"""""""smart""""""""""" / internet of things garbage in your home
stop

>I like the idea of delivery people having access to a safe spot to store my packages in

Well, back in the good old days we put a big lock box next to our mailbox for just such a purpose. I mean fuck, have people gone insane these days letting the postman into your house... while you're away?

Nobody called it "smart" and it has nothing to do with iOT.

It's just an electronic lock and a webcam.
Delivery guy can open the lock, but anything he does gets recorded to prevent abuse.

Several issues with that:

- EVERY delivery guy would need a key. In modern times you don't have one postman Pat for the entire village.
- Because of this you can't know if it's postman Jamal or postman Hakim who stole your package.
- Only works for small-ish packages unless you get a huge version that is overkill 99% of the time.

Haha, you're the definition of mindless fanboy, to the point where even reading is hard for you
>nobody called it smart
except for Amazon in the bundled compatible lock-camera sys they sell on their website that you NEED to use the service

>mindless fanboy

We don't even have Amazon in my country.

Just put that smartlock on this, and suck up the fact that ridiculously large packages will require special treatment.