ITT cheesy racist jokes

ITT cheesy racist jokes
>An American, an Arab and a French are in a plane.
>The American throws a bunch of hamburgers through the window and the others say:
>"Why do you throw these hamburgers?>"Because I have too many in my country."
>The Arab throws gallons of oil through the window and the others say:
>"Why do you throw all this oil?
>Because I have too much in my country."
>Then the French throws the Arab through the window.

why would i waste time on reading bollocks like this?

Because you are a welfare leecher. Get a job or go back.

Forced as fuck.

Donald Trump

(upvotes to your left guys n' gals, you magnificent bastards)

That joke also exists in Dutch. It's ancient. Only with a Dutchie, a German and a Turk. Our jokes are almost always about Germans, Belgians and Turks. And a few jews.

What's a Turk at a bus shelter?

A shooting gallery.

What's a Turk with three thrash bags?

A landlord.

Why does a Turk keep his zipper open when he's eating fries?

To keep the flies from landing on his fries.

holy shit

What do you have to do when a Turk goes out?

Light him up again.

What do you say when your TV floating in the middle of the night?

Drop it nigger.

Our jokes are about how Spaniards are borderline retarded

well unfortunately i we don't have turkish jokes about the dutch, because you are irrelevant

Triggered.

What does Turkey have in common with poor farms?

Coups that fail.

What do you say when your fridge is floating in the middle of the night?

Nothing, that's a big nigger.

Why do all Turkish boys have a mustache?

They want to look like their mother.

I've heard a Swedish version of this, but they're on a sky scraper and the American throws a bunch of dollar bills.

>America
>not having a gun by your side when you sleep

I see shit floating in the night, I don't care if it's a nigger or a ghost, I'm shooting that shit.

can u explain? I don't get it

What's the difference between dindus and ice-tyres? Ice-tyres don't start singing when you put chains around them.

Never heard that one.

Turks are smelly and belong in the garbage can. It's a common theme. See:

What's a thrash can below a traffic light?

A Turkish disco.

...

How do you fit 5 Cubans in a shoebox?

Tell them it floats

How many people live in Ethiopia?

That depends on how strong the wind is.

How do you fit 100 jews in a hatchback?

Just put them in the ashtray.

Whould be Syrians in a 2016 version

Why don't Ethiopians take medicine?

Because the label says you have to take them after your meal.

Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him? On her dressing table he found a bottle of Polish Remover

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night? A new last name.

What's Ethiopian national cuisine?
-Nothing

What does an elevator say in Ethiopia?

Max 20kg 400 persons

What's the difference between an Italian pizza and a Russian whore?
-You can have an Italian pizza without shrooms

We have those same jokes here.

What's a Turk on a garbage truck?
Prince Carnaval.

Why do Turks smell?
So blind people can hate them too.

etc..

They're kinda corny, but they were all the rage in elementary school.

Why doesn't ISIS use any Mac computers?

They don't run executable files.

What do you call a Russian who survived over 20 car accidents?

An acroblyat.

A man tells his neighbor he started learning Hebrew.
So his neighbors asks: "Why Hebrew?"
I do it so when I go to heaven I can talk to Jesus.
After which his neighbor asks: "But what if you go to hell?:
Well, I already speak German.

Joke works better if you know what a native accent sounds like, it's like they don't move their teeth to talk.

A native woman and man are driving and the woman is feeling naughty. Reaching over she starts rubbing his cock and begins to jerk him off. The man says
"Honey, your passionate".
"Thank you dear".
"No, the liquor store, your passionate".

I heard it as

What's the Ethiopian national dish?
- Empty

How does a Swede remove condom?
-By farting

What shampoo does ISIS use?

Shoulders

...

Lel

You mean because we don't settle in your country only to spend half your day collecting welfare and the other half honking because of football/Erdogan

Seriously though what is up with Turks and honking?

How do you call Mark Dutroux in an egg?

Kindersurprise

Why do black people have big lips?
Because that's how they get picked up from the conveyor belt.

Why are black people's palms white?
Because they have their hands on the conveyor belt when they're sprayed.

(This one doesn't really work in English but in Dutch picking also means stealing)
You know, when Moroccans get born their mothers make them spend their first few months in a hen house. You know, so they learn how to pick(steal).

What's the difference between black people and an TV?
A TV starts working if you hit it hard enough.

Why can't a black person play poker?
He doesn't have a hand to play with.

kek

>Why can't a black person play poker?
>He doesn't have a hand to play with.
Damn that's some Congo humour right there

Why does a Dutch person look so anxious when he cums?

It comes out of his own pocket

idk lol
also the number of turks over there is like %2, don't exaggerate you faggots

The 2,5% of the turkish People Here are 20% of the People who get welfare

Why is the Paralympics canceled this year?

There were too many injured.


What do you call an adoption child from China?

Takeaway Chinese.

>Tito, Khruschev and Kennedy are flying in a jet
>"Look at the numerous highways and factories, we're flying over USA right now", says Kennedy
>a while later, Khruschev says:
>"Look at the vast fields of wheat, the buys and strong farmers, we are over the USSR right now."
>some time passes
>suddenly, Tito says:"We're over Yugoslavia right now."
>"How do you know?" ask the other two.
>"My watch has been stolen."

WTF? Why is this even allowed? Can you not send them back?

If you would take them

Christians have the bible.
Muslims have the Quran.
Jews have the Torah.
What do niggers have?

Jungle book.

Why are black people's palms white?
-Because there's something good in everyone

A Somali, a gypsy and a Russian are sitting in a car, who's driving?
-The police

Why is a black man crying during sex?
-Because of pepper spray

What does a black man do after sex?
- 1 to 4 years

>What's the difference between an dead Abo laying on the road and a dead kangaroo laying on the road?
>There's skidmarks before the roo.

>A truck driver accidentally runs over two Abos that are crossing a road. One of the Abos gets wedged into the front of the truck somehow, while the other ricochets off and flies into a bush off the side of the road.
>The truck driver is distraught and doesn't know what to do at first. Eventually he gathers himself and decides to report it at the local police station.
>He walks in and explains to the on duty cop that he's hit two Aboriginal people and he doesn't know what to do.
>The cop asks, "Okay, so where are they now then?"
>To which the driver replies, "One's stuck in the front of my truck, the other bounced into some bushes back up the road. Oh shit, what do we do?"
>The cop thinks for a second and then says, "Okay, we can charge at least one of them with attempted theft and vandalism of a motor vehicle. We can probably get the other one with fleeing the scene of a crime."

>Two truck drivers are sleeping and driving the same truck in shifts while they try to complete a long haul.
>After a lengthy leg of the trip has been completed, Driver 2 takes the wheel while Driver 1 climbs into bed for some rest. Driver 1 eventually falls alseep.
>An hour later, 1 is awoken by a loud thud.
>"What was that?" he asks Driver 1.
>"Oh, we hit a dog. But don't worry, we'll still get there in time."
>1 goes back to sleep.
>Another hour later, he's awoken by yet another loud thud.
>"What was it this time?" he asks.
>"Hit a roo this time. But don't worry, we'll still make it."
>1 then goes back to sleep.
>Not long after, he's awoken yet again. But this time by four very loud thuds.
>"Okay what the fuck was that?!?" he asks angrily, getting quite frustrated at this point.
>"I hit an Abo," Driver 2 replies.
>"Well what were the other thuds then?" he asks.
>"Oh I had to go through three fences to get him."

What's the difference between an Australian and a yogurt?
-If you leave the yogurt under the sun for 200 years, it develops a culture

Why is America sending epileptics to Iraq?

To perform surprise attacks.

Heard it before, but I still like it. Unfortunately I don't know any Finnish jokes.

Why aren't there Turks and Moroccans in Star Trek?

Even in the future they won't work.

A Japanese person
An American
And a Dutch person are on a deserted island.

Suddenly a helicopter flies over and drops a box filled with food.

They decide to search for it

After a while the dutch person and the American come back to the beach and there is no sign of the Jap.

After 2 hours the Jap comes back with the box and yells "Supplies'

Why are there no Jews in Star Trek?
-It's set in the future

>first generation turks on welfare : %30
>second generation turks on welfare : %12.5
>western 1st/2nd generation immigrants on welfare : %14
wew lad its literally nothing. first generation is arab/kurd tier gibsmedat but it normalizes with the second generation

>White guy walks into a bar.
>Sees that the barman is a black guy.
>Approaches the bar.
>"I'll have a beer, nigger."
>The barman is visibly annoyed by this, but he pours the man a beer and hands it to him.
>The man finishes the beer, then says, "Pour me another, nigger."
>The barman is getting quite riled by this point and says, "Okay, I'll get you your beer; but don't call me nigger." He then pours the beer and hands it to the white man.
>The white man finishes the beer, then says, "That was good. I'll have another thank you... Nigger."
>"Right, that's it!" the barman shouts. "You think you can do this? You think you can put up with this shit? How about I come in here and order drinks off you while saying racist shit at you? Would you like that?"
>The white man agrees to the odd idea proposed by the barman. So he walks around behind the bar, while the barman leaves the bar, then reenters and approaches the bar to make an order.
>The barman looks at the white guy and says, "Give me a beer you filthy honkey!"
>White guy just looks back at him and says, "Fuck off; we don't serve niggers here."

What word starts with N, ends with R and you would never want to call a black man with that word?
-Neighbour

What do Americans do to celebrate the birth of twins?

They fly aeroplanes in them

Not him, but these are the official stats of how many Turks are on welfare.

a russian, an american, and a canadian walk into a bar

bartender says: i will give you drinks for free, but only if you answer what's 2+2

russian says: it's clearly 4

canadian says: it's clearly 4

american says: I dont know, I'm retarded brainwashed fucking faggot son of whore white male I wish mom aborted me so there was one less american white male in this world retarded whoreson

bartender pulls out a shotgun and shoots dumb american in face

It's set in the past dumbass.

What's the advantage of going on vacation to East Europe?

Your car is already there.

No, that's Star Wars.

What's the advantage of moving to Greece

Your money is there

ayy lmao

So the memes about germanics being a cuck is true in different ways too. praise kek

>What's long and hard on a black man?
>Kindergarten

>What's the difference between a nigger and a pizza?
>A pizza can feed a family

>What's the difference between a nigger and a park bench?
>A bench can support a family

>What's the difference between batman and a nigger?
>Batman can go to a shop without Robin

Oh man

What's the difference between a Jew and Santa Claus?
- They go to different directions in the chimney

1 black child
1 Chinese child
1 white child

Are asked to describe there skin-colour with one object

The black child says "poop"
The Chinese child says "pee"
The white child says "skin-colour crayon"

I intentionally didn't use Jew jokes because I thought they were universal. But I didn't know that one yet.

What separates man from animals? The mediterranean sea

What devides lazy people from hard working people?

The iron curtain.

>What's grey and goes around killing Jews?
>Gas pipes

Why didn't the jews participate in WW2?

They were all at camp.

a n a l p a i n

How do you sink a Swedish submarine?

You knock on the hatch.

we have a better one with black people's palms


Why are black people's palms white?
Arbeit macht frei.

Kek

A Norwegian, a Swede abd a Finn were marooned on an island. The local clan leader kidnapped them and told them that in order to be saved they all had to complete a task.

Norwegian's task was to collect 10 apples. He collected 10 apples but the clan leader said he needed to stick them up his ass. He didn't get even one apple up his ass and was killed.

The Swede and the Finn got their assignments at the same time. The Swede was to collect one watermelon and the Finn was to gather 10 beans.

Meanwhile the Norwegian was standing in queue for a meeting with St. Paul on Heaven's gates when suddenly the Finn appeared.

>How come you failed your task? You only needed 10 beans!
Asked the Norwegian.

>I was laughing so hard when the savages told the Swede to stick up the watermelon up his ass so they executed me for dropping the beans and soiling them.
Replied the Finn.

The Swede never joined them in the queue.

That's some kinda commie joke you have there, тoвapищ.

What do you call a white man surrounded by 3 niggers? A murder case

What do you call a white man surrounded by 30 niggers? A basketball coach

What do you call a white man surrounded by 300 niggers? A prison guard

A German, a Belgian and a Turk walk into a bar. So the barman asks: Is this a joke?

...

What's the difference between a Turk and a trampoline.

You take of your shoes when jumping on a trampoline

>What do you call a hundred white guys running down a hill?
>Avalanche
>What do you call a hundred black guys running down a hill?
>Mudslide
>What do you call a hundred Mexicans running down a hill?
>Jailbreak

Yeah, that's a pretty good one.

What's the difference between an American and a German?

200kg

I'm as critical of Muslims as the next guy, but let's be realistic here. In this case, that isn't just Muslims, that's soccer fans in general. Race, nationality, religion, doesn't matter; they're all animals.

How many children does the average Belgian family have?
About 2.4GB

What did German nazi pilots eat as breakfast?

Luftwaffles

>implying it happened at any other soccer games