I feel like you can call yourself successful when you get paid near-6 figures to be a sysadmin even though you've automated most of your job away with a few shell scripts and you have a coffee machine sitting at your desk and nobody ever questions you because they don't really know what you do.
Why don't you have a coffee machine where you work, you do have jobs, right?
Other urls found in this thread:
en.wikipedia.org
twitter.com
I only have one job at the moment. We have two barrister coffee machines there though!
Because coffee machines over extract and burn the shit out of coffee. Get a French press and don't be a retard who buys preground
Because I have secretaries making me coffee :^)
>you do have jobs, right?
hehehe
Why buy and drink coffee when you can just take caffeine pills??
Why drink coffee when you can just take adderall?
exactly
>year of our lord 2017
>not using a moka
Disgusting, i bet you dont even know based Illy.
>being this poor
Just buy a express machine
I've got the KB 741 going strong over 10 years now. I run some of those cleaning powders through it like once a year, that's it.
Really the way most people use these it doesn't make the strongest/best coffee though. Gotta let it really sit in there, it's best to only brew 2-3 cups at once with these.
We have some giant coffee machine, I forget the name of it, but 6 of those in the primary office. Each kitchen has a 2 boiler espresso machine from la marzocco too, with a grinder from them as well.
I have a french press at home, but honestly I don't like it. I should have just gotten another aeropress. I don't make much coffee at home since I can just walk next door to the office.
percolators are unarguably the worst possible way to brew coffee
NUMBER ONE COMING THROUGH HONK HONK
what's wrong with the french press?
I just don't like it as much. I think I liked the aeropress better because of the paper filter and I wouldn't get as much sediment.
Not him but I keep seeing people shitting on presses because they fuck up the brewing process
pls share your secrets for the perfect autissimo coffee
Moka pots aren't percolators though
In percolators the coffee is returned to the boiling chamber, in a moka they're separate so the coffee doesn't get overextracted
>using the smiley with the carat nose
>carat
Have a 2500$ espresso machine at home, 1000$ grinder for espresso. $100 grinder and $20 French press for regular coffee at work.
If you buy made coffee or kcups, you are the normie.
Enjoy it while it lasts, user. Like you've discovered, you're easily replaced by a little automation.
The coffee is good but it's a messy process that I don't want to bother with usually. Pour-over with a paper filter is what I typically go with. Yeah it ties you up manually for a minute or two but who cares.
French press is only good if you prefer tasking the oils in the coffee to tasting the bright notes, otherwise manual pour overs are better.
This is for Chemex:
Fresh, locally light roasted single origin coffee beans
Barzata Virtuoso grinder, set to grind setting 32 for 832ml of coffee
16:1 water to coffee ratio
Electrically temperature controlled gooseneck kettle
Process:
1) Use electric scale to measure out necessary quantity of whole beans and put in grinder.
1) Boil water to pre wash unbleached
Chemex filter and pre heat the brewing vessel.
2) Set coffee to grind and empty Chemex of water used to pre heat, place empty Chemex on scale and zero out.
3) Place coffee grinds in Chemex and shake to even put grind bed, zero out scale again
4) while water is still at 210 or 211f start your timer and pour 3x the weight of coffee into the grinds slowly using a spiral pattern. This will de-gas the grinds before the main brewing process. Pouring in the water should take 15 seconds roughly.
5) wait 30 seconds for pre-infusion to complete, and then begin pouring in the rest of the water you need in a slow spiral pattern
6) target to hit the desired end weight between 2:00 and 2:30
7) wait and allow coffee to brew, process should complete between 4min and 5min, with 4:30 being ideal.
OP is a true gentleman, the ONLY brewer is a technovorm mocha master
>percolator
>french press
>filter cone
I can have any kind of coffee I want and it's dirt cheap. Each has a unique taste.
>drinking coffee
>not drinking cleaner, healthier, classier tea
>coffee machines over extract
If only there were some way to calibrate.
....or a choice of more than 1 coffee machine.
There is nothing classy about tea.
Britcucks think it is because they associate it with Victorian England.
But that's pure bullshit.
Dubs confirms. V60 is the GOAT.
Please.
Brit tea is shit compared to a well brewed white or jap green tea.
Why don't you own the Apple of espresso machines?
You aren't poor are you?
Only poorfags think of Apple electronics as some kind of unattainable luxuries. They're commonplace mass produced items for the middle class and above.
Also that thing is fuck ugly.
That was the joke.
Sup Forums constantly goes on about being poor if you don't have a $1k phone.
But a $15k home espresso machine is something Sup Forums will never be able to afford.
I prefer Chemex but only because I tend to brew in larger volumes. Can't do 700+ ml in a V60.
I do not enjoy bright coffee.
the fuck you using illy for? get some actual decent beans you mongoloid. Coava from portland is awesome. Boomtown, Greenway, Amaya and Xela in houston are fucking great too. get decent beans you fucking retard
I actually like bad coffee brewed in a Moka pot. Got a preground brick from IKEA once, that shit was god tier bad coffee.
also,based aeropress is best coffee maker
A giant monolithic coffee machine is like an IDE.
It's for retards and it doesn't do any one thing particularly well.
The UNIX philosophy applies to many things and that includes coffee.
Having a separate grinder, kettle, a pourover cone and pouring it straight into your mug is the most practical way to make coffee if you're not a junkie.
I work from home. I use an aeropress every morning to make my coffee.
If you're not spending $500+ on a grinder you're doing it wrong.
I grind my coffee at the grocery store, locally recently roasted beans though, come at me.
coffee goes stale the first hour after being ground
you might as well be drinking garbage folgers
Because coffee is for absolute plebian commoners.
My only caffeinated beverage is steeped tea imported from Nepal.
3 minutes 40 seconds for the perfect steep.
This
ground beans + hot water + gravity + time
anything else is bourgeois
The coffee machine at my office is a beat up, second hand restaurant machine we got for cheap, and nobody ever washes it, or the caraffe.
Needless to say I've been using my Aeropress at work. But I don't have a burr grinder there and don't want to use more of the limited counter space, so I use some beans I pre-ground at home.
>not drinking both
it's one of the few times one should "embrace diversity"
david-kun pls
if you think black/red tea is shit you've never done it right
white tea is fucking grasswater, never seen anyone but hipster poofs in san fagcisco drink it
use those beans for cold brew instead
it's fucking magic in summer
I use a french press for my "work" coffee, wife handles the rancilio silvia for an afternoon flat white
>hot water
you haven't lived until you've told summer to get fucked with a glass of cold brew
>paying $500 for a grinder
way too much. A good conical burr grinder can be bought for $100-150 nowadays. The difference between a $150 and a $600 grinder is negligible. Money better spent on a well made espresso machine, but even then once you crack the $300 level on a breville you have enough to get a solid extract. Anything above that is just bells and whistles, like a double boiler or a more powerful steam wand.
Got pic related refurb for $479, it's a fucking champ
r u a cold brew salesman? do u have holdings in cold brew futures?
"home espresso" machines are overpriced steam toys that clog up and have a very real danger of exploding in your face.
If it doesn't cost less than $2000, don't even bother with espresso.
cold brew can be made with any container, just stick coarsely ground coffee with water and iet it sit overnight, then strain it
>he doesn't descale his machine once a month
>he thinks it'll just explode randomly and kill me
you're retarded my dude
>buying it
fuck no, you'll get better results doing it yourself at home
just making a french press with cold water instead of hot and leaving it in the fridge overnight works
>If it doesn't cost less than $2000, don't even bother with espresso.
except for pic related
don't touch thermoblock bullshit
Step aside coffee nerds.
Can any of these coffee makers run foss firmware?
That would be neat to have a automated coffemaker running embedded linux or something and have a serial port lan network (no wifi botnet)
As a sysadmin that has to be alert 24/7 coffee is your best friend.
>"good" conical burr for $100-150
>for espresso
LMAO
>good
>conical burr
pick one, poor fag.
and the grinders in pic related is a fucking piece of shit
i still have nightmares about the nespresso machine in work's main US office
fuck that shit is terrible
most are simple electrics and don't have firmware or any computer bs at all
but you could hook something up if you wanted to (people have done all kinds of shit to the silvia, for example)
My mother in law lives in our basement and comes upstairs several times a day to drink our good coffee. She has shit taste in just about everything so the quality of the coffee is lost on her. I want to get her something she can use in the basement that's idiot proof. Are k-cups the answer? She pours huge amounts of sugar and hazelnut non dairy creamer into her coffee so the actual quality doesn't matter.
(OP)
>coffee technology thread
>posts glorified drip machine
here's some actual coffee technology, faggot
Pleb, use an espresso machine or a moka pot. French press coffee is piss
>Illy
>based
lmao
Get the fuck back to work
>no Jura A1
It's virtually perfect unless you're a moron who likes milk with their coffee.
ur life has no meaning
I only use milk.
Why not just put the milk in after???
Sucks for you. Milk is trash.
You can easily do that if you want with a proper milk frother that can do hot or cold but milk is terrible in coffee or anything else.
How did you survive as a child?
>no crema at all
Stop wasting coffee beans.
A varied diet consisting of milk and other shit but as an adult I know it's garbage for poor people and diabetics.
is thermocoil too.
So you were a formula baby and now cant digest milk. got it.
>even though you've automated most of your job away
Enjoy your unemployability once they get an automation consultant.
silvia doesn't use thermocoil garbage. it has a fucking BRASS BOILER
That's not how it works at all.
en.wikipedia.org
I love this post.
Obsessing over hedonistic trivialities like coffee preparation and consumption is more indicative of a life without purpose that the opposite.
Yes I appreciate the irony of posting this on Sup Forums.
Holy shit just get s ninja bar
>take functional machine
>add a touch screen
>add a slow as fuck arm SOC running embedded node.js
>add an app so you're forced to connect to the internet and make an account to use it
>(((they))) can remotely disable it if you say anything pro-white people on the internet
Technology peaked 20 years ago.
>Why don't you have a coffee machine where you work
I work repairing coffee machiens, mostly DeLonghi's and La Marzocco's
AMA
coffee technology peaked in 1961 with the faema e61.
everything past that point ist just either a good or bad copy of it.
I literally just drink shit out of a Keurig what is this autism?
Nigga, muricans use percolators, Moka pots are single pass.
Sometimes I'll get out my Moka and brew myself a shot or two, it has nothing to do with being poor, it just makes coffee that's totally different from what I get from my Mazocc
What is that, the chad version of a GS3?
A knockoff of a Strada EP?
I have a Linea PB in my kitchen, don't even have it on most of the time, I just really like the thing's design
>TFW trying to sell normies Linea Mini's at $5k a pop, they all just go buying Rancilio Silvia's
Life is suffering
>Practicle
You try making me a fucking Ristretto, I fucking dare you, not that weak pissy American shit
All grinders are fucking garbage, that small one Rancilio sells will do as good a job as any (for domestic use) if you have it set properly
>MFW I have never seen someone with a properly adjusted grinder for the coffee they drink, ever
That's like unwrapping a condom the moment after you buy it, and leaving it sitting loose in your wallet until you use it
Just fucking wrong
>Fucking gravity fed
>Not exclusively used by the bourgeois
You get the bullet too
>once you crack the $300 level on a breville you have enough to get a solid extract
Nigga, the fucking BES870, along with all Breville machines, is a fucking thermoblock system, fuck outa here with that shit.
You can get away with it on a superautomatic, but don't pretend a machine with fucking "Pressure" written on the pressure gauge, not bars, is gonna get you a great pull.
>Fancy like double boiler
NIGGA YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE ONE BOILER, YOU'RE BELOW A SILVIA.
>Thermoblock
>Exploding
Unless it's a ECAM with a bad solenoid (Even then the pipe just splits), you're never gonna get a home machine explode. Even with a boiler, either it's safety will go, or with a Silvia, the solenoid will go, or the steam tap will start to leak
espresso drinks are overrated, they're basically desserts, with all of them being 9 parts fatty milk to 1 part espresso.
Why would you even want an espresso machine at your desk?
Simply packing the espresso grounds in the puck holder is messy as fuck.
baristafag here. Its a keys vanderwesten. They're overpriced shit. Better off with a gs3 or a linea mini like your picture.
my current brew setup is kalita wave 185/hario v60 02, acaia black pearl scale, baratza encore grinder. works breddy good
>pic very related
Are you a fat woman? No? Then here's an idea: skip the milk and just drink it motherfucker.
Nigga, a Silvia has a boiler, single for steam and water, no heat exchange, no safety valve, but the V4 is still the best fucking home espresso machine you can get.
As a DeLonghi certified repair technician I am fully qualified to say that Capsule, especially Nespresso, machines can go fuck themselves up their fucking "infuser" chambers.
I once stripped a DeLonghi ECAM and replaced it's control board with an orange pi, shift register, and various other shit, paid a loli on Sup Forums do record some voices for it and shit.
If you really want that, just set up a DeLonghi not to fall asleep, you could just hook up an arduino to the display panel to go into a menu then instantly exit every 20 minutes so it doesn't go into cooldown.
Still, they only take 30 seconds to heat up for a black coffee
Just keep one on your desk dood
>Pic related, best coffee machine DeLonghi ever built
Anything (ECAM) newer was just this things guts with three extra layers of plastic on the outside.
Just replace its solenoids when you get it, or within warranty, those italian fucks are still going through a bad batch of solenoids they ordered in 2012. Drop it off under warrenty, say "The milk jug shot off when I tried making milk", they'll replace the EV's without even testing it. Thing should last you 10 years if you keep the infuser clean so the transmission doesn't need to struggle
(Not sure what'd happen if you kept it heated 24/7 though. Might be fun to find out, I'll see if I can find a spare...)
>drinking straight espresso
this is even worse than drinking it black
you either have the pallet of a candy eating toddler or make shitty spro. Im going to assume its both in this case
shut up, i bet coffee is the only thing you talk about in real life
kek you sound mad. You should go to bed you need to be up early for school tomorrow
>but the V4 is still the best fucking home espresso machine you can get.
mine's only a V3 (I'm ), but iirc they don't change much between versions and are usually upgradeable
you've never had it made properly then
Straight espresso, oh gawd my delicate taste buds!
Not all conicals are shit, Rancilio's are quite nice I've found
(Brevil's are fucking atrocious though, yeah)
Nice Strada ripoff, nerd. Enjoying that tiny little thermoblock?
>Moron who likes milk
So 90% of my customers?
And looking at that hazel colored coffee, it already has fucking milk in it, mix in some whitener?
>espresso drinks
>drinks
DID I SAY FUCKING DRINKS YOU PIECE OF SHIT?
WHO THE FUCK DRINKS ESPRESSO DRINKS?
You drink FUCKING ESPRESSO, NOT ESPRESSO DRINKS, FUCK
What, Imma inject my Ristretto into a fucking marshmallow, then mix it in with fucking whipped cream? Is this fucking starbucks?
I'm always curious what you barista's have at home, nearly all of the ones I meet are just in my county on holiday and they thought it'd be an easy job. Not even any cute Italians, Germans, or Sweeds, they're always fucking British, and they treat their machines like shit, without a fucking idea how to take care of them, or even the most basic functionality of them. I couldn't imagine any of them having anything more than instant at home.
You're a breath of fresh air, user, even if your setup is slower than a Moka pot.
>What, Imma inject my Ristretto into a fucking marshmallow, then mix it in with fucking whipped cream? Is this fucking starbucks?
Sprinkle some cinnamon on top and some faggot will pay you ten bucks for a cup of it